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Thread: Gulenko's typings of forum members AKA Big G SquaD

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    @aster, I should have asked you if you ever lived by yourself, without roommates or family, and how you felt about that.

    From what you just said, I'd imagine that living alone might seem nearly perfect to an introvert, and if that was the case, then why did you get married?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @aster, I should have asked you if you ever lived by yourself, without roommates or family, and how you felt about that.

    From what you just said, I'd imagine that living alone might seem nearly perfect to an introvert, and if that was the case, then why did you get married?
    was wondering if thats what you meant lol actually, Adam, I think Id hate living on my own. Im an introvert and I dont think Im all that great at socializing, but I like being around people. I think Id get lonely. And I think itd make me nervous living by myself. I have very little faith in myself to survive on my own. It would be an interesting exercise, though. Like people that are scared of flying facing their fears by flying lol

    Id think Id lose my mind
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    As it is said Fi needs selective connection so I'd think that logical extroverts manage much better being without someone better than ethical introverts. Extrovert just won't settle easily without an introvert.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    was wondering if thats what you meant lol actually, Adam, I think I’d hate living on my own. I’m an introvert and I don’t think I’m all that great at socializing, but I like being around people. I think I’d get lonely. And I think it’d make me nervous living by myself. I have very little faith in myself to survive on my own. It would be an interesting exercise, though. Like people that are scared of flying facing their fears by flying lol

    I’d think I’d lose my mind
    Thanks. Yes, that's the answer to my question.

    I asked because I was talking to an introverted woman on Match who said that she had never lived alone until her divorce, and she said it got lonely.

    I think my SLI ex married me because she was living alone and was lonely. I mean, basically, I think that was her reason, and she agreed to me because I was close in profile to her father. Also. at that time in my life, my life was basically a smoking crater and I was drunk most of the time and did crazy, impulsive things, so I probably looked like an IEE to her. I'm pretty sure she thought I needed someone to take care of me, because the first time she stood out from the crowd, it was by offering to give me a ride to the observatory, because I'd lost my driver's license and couldn't legally drive there myself.

    I've lived by myself for years and I don't mind it, as long as I can socialize at work. Having a live-in roommate would be really tough for me if that person weren't very compatible. I don't think I get lonely. I do think I get starved for human interaction. I don't think those two are the same thing. Instead of feeling lonely, I get bored.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-04-2021 at 04:19 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Thanks. Yes, that's the answer to my question.

    I asked because I was talking to an introverted woman on Match who said that she had never lived alone until her divorce, and she said it got lonely.

    I think my SLI ex married me because she was living alone and was lonely. I mean, basically, I think that was her reason, and she agreed to me because I was close in profile to her father. Also. at that time in my life, my life was basically a smoking crater and I was drunk most of the time, so I probably looked like an IEE to her.

    I've lived by myself for years and I don't mind it, as long as I can socialize at work. Having a live-in roommate would be really tough for me if that person weren't very compatible. I don't think I get lonely. I do think I get starved for human interaction. I don't think those two are the same thing.
    Yeah. I’ve never planned on living by myself or saw it was ideal. DH and I have been together since I was 16/ him 17. Things just happened and worked out that way, and when it became time to move on from our parents, we just assumed it would be together. So when we moved out, we moved in together. It makes me nervous thinking of kids growing up, moving out, DH dying and being by myself. I think I’d be truly depressed living on my own.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Yeah. I’ve never planned on living by myself or saw it was ideal. DH and I have been together since I was 16/ him 17. Things just happened and worked out that way, and when it became time to move on from our parents, we just assumed it would be together. So when we moved out, we moved in together. It makes me nervous thinking of kids growing up, moving out, DH dying and being by myself. I think I’d be truly depressed living on my own.
    Well, not to scare you, but my grandparents came to this country and met here. He was LIE and she was ESI, and I think they married at age 20 and 18, and he had a heart attack and died at age 54. She moved out of their big house because it was too much for her to keep up, into a much smaller place on a country subdivision street. She never remarried. She would sit in a chair that looked out the front window of her house, down the road, and she lived alone for another 32 years.
    The family tried to set her up with some random guy, but that was a complete failure. She rejected him without a thought.
    "Where will I find a man like my husband?", she said, kind of fatalistically.
    I don't think she was happy.


    I think my ESI grandmother was quite critical of most men. She didn't say much, but when she did let loose, she didn't hold back. I think that most men simply didn't impress her, and she even criticized my grandfather a lot, but he didn't seem to care. He just did what he wanted to do.
    My grandfather was an engineer at Westinghouse and had a lot of patents and, of course, he dressed in a suit to go to work. But he was also from a Czech farm family, so he had an acre of land behind his house that he planted with fruits, vegetables, and flowers. He even had a chicken coop. He'd come home from work, change clothes, and work in the garden until it got dark.
    The way I knew that my ESI grandmother was secretly critical of him was that she had two pictures of him side-by-side in her photo album. The first was him standing next to the house in a very sharply tailored suit, looking like a visionary business executive. The second was of him in a wife-beater T-shirt and dirty baggy pants, hair disheveled, watering the garden with a hose. They were simply labeled "Before" and "After". Lol.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-04-2021 at 04:47 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Well, not to scare you, but my grandparents came to this country and met here. He was LIE and she was ESI, and I think they married at age 20 and 18, and he had a heart attack and died at age 54. She moved out of their big house because it was too much for her to keep up, into a much smaller place on a country subdivision street. She never remarried. She would sit in a chair that looked out the front window of her house, down the road, and she lived alone for another 32 years.
    The family tried to set her up with some random guy, but that was a complete failure. She rejected him without a thought.
    "Where will I find a man like my husband?", she said, kind of fatalistically.
    I don't think she was happy.


    I think my ESI grandmother was quite critical of most men. She didn't say much, but when she did let loose, she didn't hold back. I think that most men simply didn't impress her, and she even criticized my grandfather a lot, but he didn't seem to care. He just did what he wanted to do.
    My grandfather was an engineer at Westinghouse and had a lot of patents and, of course, he dressed in a suit to go to work. But he was also from a Czech farm family, so he had an acre of land behind his house that he planted with fruits, vegetables, and flowers. He even had a chicken coop. He'd come home from work, change clothes, and work in the garden until it got dark.
    The way I knew that my ESI grandmother was secretly critical of him was that she had two pictures of him side-by-side in her photo album. The first was him standing next to the house in a very sharply tailored suit, looking like a visionary business executive. The second was of him in a wife-beater T-shirt and dirty baggy pants, hair disheveled, watering the garden with a hose. They were simply labeled "Before" and "After". Lol.
    lol yeah I’ve been thinking about it lately. DH is under the impression he isn’t going to live that long, probably to his 50’s because of family conditions. His father recently has a heart attack. I think he’s 58, too maybe. His father was the same age when he had a heart attack and died. His father got lucky by some miracle that he didn’t die. His heart had actually grown something to compensate for it. I forgot the details....


    But DH is hoping to make enough money to leave me with. I didn’t finish my degree and lately I’ve really been thinking I need to try online. Well I think about these things a lot but I never do them. lol See my mom would call them for me and take the steps to get me enrolled, otherwise I won’t do shit lol. I’ve seriously considered enlisting her help to get the ball rolling for me. DH is too busy and doesn’t understand why it’s so important to me. I really don’t want to get remarried. dating after 50 from what I’ve seen looks like hell since people seem to be carrying a lot of baggage and I don’t want to have to deal with it. Anyway. I’m sure it will be fine. I’m just here for the ride, riding the waves. I just try not to think about it too much, but enough to be prepared.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    lol yeah I’ve been thinking about it lately. DH is under the impression he isn’t going to live that long, probably to his 50’s because of family conditions. His father recently has a heart attack. I think he’s 58, too maybe. His father was the same age when he had a heart attack and died. His father got lucky by some miracle that he didn’t die. His heart had actually grown something to compensate for it. I forgot the details....

    People are generally healthier now than they were thirty years ago, I think. The food my mother served the family was basically a heart attack on a plate.
    But surviving a heart attack is largely a matter of help reaching you within a few minutes. Longer than that, and other things start breaking, fast.


    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    But DH is hoping to make enough money to leave me with.

    Lol. That's my exact plan, too. My life insurance will only pay off the debts. The rest of the assets will have to be enough to yield a constant, living income.

    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    I didn’t finish my degree and lately I’ve really been thinking I need to try online. Well I think about these things a lot but I never do them. lol See my mom would call them for me and take the steps to get me enrolled, otherwise I won’t do shit lol. I’ve seriously considered enlisting her help to get the ball rolling for me. DH is too busy and doesn’t understand why it’s so important to me.

    I'd recommend getting help from anyone you can, ASAP. If you have to start when you don't have income, it's basically going to be impossible and you will have some very, very hard questions to deal with.


    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    I really don’t want to get remarried. dating after 50 from what I’ve seen looks like hell since people seem to be carrying a lot of baggage and I don’t want to have to deal with it. Anyway. I’m sure it will be fine. I’m just here for the ride, riding the waves. I just try not to think about it too much, but enough to be prepared.


    Yes, dating after 50 is hell. I can put myself in the mindset of someone who met their SO when they were 16 and when I do that, dating after 50 sounds like the equivalent of becoming a jet engine mechanic. It's hard to figure out and there aren't that many jet engines around, and if you make a mistake, the plane explodes.
    Not to say that it can't be done. Lol.

    But having a job you can do remotely, like business accounting services, might be a good idea.

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    it seems to me that normalising logical types, especially if they are men, are more obsessed about structural rules, and that you conform to them, so they have a heavier focus on Ti. this is especially visible for me in the company I work in, which is rather technical and full of normalising ST types. normalising ethical types, especially if they are women, seem to have a stronger accentuation on Fi, which leads to cautios, over-anxious behavior. they care more that you follow social rules.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post

    People are generally healthier now than they were thirty years ago, I think. The food my mother served the family was basically a heart attack on a plate.
    most people eat garbage all day. how many people do you see that mostly eat fruits and vegetables? and how many stuff their faces with processed meat and saturated fat? it's just that our living conditions improved.

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    I wouldn't want to work with technical projects as part of a team. Keep the margin right etc. The extra filling courses were like that in uni. You were supposed to practice information searching and it involved exacting questions. Bunch of BS I had to redo those tasks many times but I didn't have to do it ever in real courses.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    I didn’t finish my degree and lately I’ve really been thinking I need to try online.
    Please tell me if you can fix your motivation because my sister is going to need that info.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dead account View Post
    it seems to me that normalising logical types, especially if they are men, are more obsessed about structural rules, and that you conform to them, so they have a heavier focus on Ti. this is especially visible for me in the company I work in, which is rather technical and full of normalising ST types. normalising ethical types, especially if they are women, seem to have a stronger accentuation on Fi, which leads to cautios, over-anxious behavior. they care more that you follow social rules.
    I'm probably between creative and normalizing on the DCNH spectrum, but what always baffled me was how sensitive strong normalizers are to everything and everyone who steps out of the line. And then they get super angry about nothing and do this kind of weird passive-agressive shit:



    I'm thinking like, wtf? Who has time for petty finger-wagging like that? I get it, it's annoying when others don't respect the rules, but just be normal and learn to care less, because this person obviously doesn't give a f*** about what others think anyway
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

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    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    I'm probably between creative and normalizing on the DCNH spectrum, but what always baffled me was how sensitive strong normalizers are to everything and everyone who steps out of the line. And then they get super angry about nothing and do this kind of weird passive-agressive shit:



    I'm thinking like, wtf? Who has time for petty finger-wagging like that? I get it, it's annoying when others don't respect the rules, but just be normal and learn to care less, because this person obviously doesn't give a f*** about what others think anyway
    I have been wondering if some N-subs have such a strong Fi or Ti accentuation that it leads to OCD

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    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    I'm probably between creative and normalizing on the DCNH spectrum, but what always baffled me was how sensitive strong normalizers are to everything and everyone who steps out of the line. And then they get super angry about nothing and do this kind of weird passive-agressive shit:



    I'm thinking like, wtf? Who has time for petty finger-wagging like that? I get it, it's annoying when others don't respect the rules, but just be normal and learn to care less, because this person obviously doesn't give a f*** about what others think anyway
    Is that your car? My SLI-Te son has five cars that all look a lot like that. They might be that same car. He drives a lot and wants something super-reliable. He rotates them in, buying one when he finds a great deal on it, and then selling the worst model. Why five, I have no idea.

    And Yeah, he gets super bent out of shape when people don't stay in their lanes. He calls that "taking their half of the road out of the middle". He always parks far from the entrance to a place because he basically doesn't trust anyone to not drive straight into his car.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dead account View Post
    I have been wondering if some N-subs have such a strong Fi or Ti accentuation that it leads to OCD
    Or OCPD depending on if normalizing is ego-dystonic or ego-syntonic condition.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Im not positive...Been thinking about it... I think my dad is SLI-N and my mom is IEE-D or C, although I might change my mind later. Mom seems like she could be EJ or EP.


    Some short info (but probably too long lol) about them & my childhood ->
     

    Dad is a business owner of a construction company. Doing what his father did. He did and still does most of the work himself, occasionally hiring people to help him (they usually get mad at him or fall out at some point lol).He isnt very agreeable and most people have a hard time working with him long term, and they say he works them into the ground so he can make good money and they get screwed. But he is good at what he does, has the equipment, the business, the knowledge of it all, and people like to complain because hes a bit of a Scrooge I guess lol. A tightwad. Hes a very reliable and dutiful hard worker. Hes worked himself into the ground and my mom spends all his money on frivolous things, he claims. I dont want to get in the middle of it. Lol. And he lets her have control of his money. Or at least he used to. Mom suspects hes been putting money back. I know nothing. lol. He wasnt all that involved in my upbringing in the sense that he never disciplined me or felt he needed to. He was mainly a provider, a reliable constant, and played board games, and video games with me at night, in a friendly Fi bonding manner. Very quiet, mysterious guy. Pretty critical.


    Mom is a bit more complicated. She has some issues from growing up. She felt her mother didnt buy her the things she needed/wanted, so she wanted us (her kids) to have the things she didnt. So she spoiled my sister and I. Shes someone, if you ask if you can borrow 10$, shell give you 400$, and not expect you to pay her back, or probably wont even let you pay her back (in contrast to my father who if you ask to borrow 10$, he will give you 10$. He wont try to get you to pay him back, but will judge you eternally for not doing it lol). This is the environment I grew up in.


    Mom was the one mainly involved in my upbringing. We didnt spend too much time at home. We spent a lot of time driving around, shopping, and eating at fine restaurants instead of meals at home. Mom didnt like cooking. She also emphasized getting my sister and I involved. Whatever I was interested in, shed get me lessons for it. Piano, ballet, dog showing, guitar. She was into aristocracy social stuff, too. Who is who, how popular they are. Very aware of the fashion trends. Mom was all over the place, very adhd like...very positive, despite being hyper and neurotic. Major Pollyanna attitude. My mom definitely wears the pants in her marriage. She is much more agreeable than my dad, but she is built like a line backer and seems almost immune to my dads criticizing and can really hold her own against him.
    Also, dad always did the actual labor part of the business, but my mom handled all the bills/accounting (actually got a degree in accounting) for his business. Shes very clean and organized and even her housekeeper complains she too clean and doesnt want to come as often (and mom was mad about it lol). Shes a bit of a germaphobe and has OCD issues about cleanliness, health, and safety. Which has in term also given me issues. I think it makes me neurotically focus on cleanliness and order, and I am bad if Im not and it makes me feel bad about myself. And since Im naturally a slob, its definitely given me a complex. Ive talked about it a lot with my therapist lol




    Anyway, that was the environment I grew up in. It didnt prepare me much for the real world, tbh. And Ive told my mom I wish she would have prepared me a bit better, because it was very unrealistic and when I got out on my own, it was a real wake up call, and Ive had a hard time dealing. First world problems, and all that..lol and basically I get depressed if Im broke, but I hate to admit it. But Im also not good at working. Upbringing really emphasized materialism.
    I think your dad sounds like he values Te>Ti type so Gamma or Delta, but not sure if logical or ethical. Your mom sounds like she values Fe>Fi so Alpha or Beta, but again, from limited info I cant tell if logical or ethical. I can tell she doesnt value Te because of the part that if someone asked for $10 she would give them $400 and not expect payment. It sounds like an Fe gesture to appear over the top generous. Im actually very exacting with money and finances (G said that SEE-N and SEE-D are very calculating) and I although Im easy going in general, but when it comes to treating people for food and drinks, lending money, etc. I know exactly how much and Ill clearly spell out the agreed terms of agreement. I wouldnt throw money around even when I did have money to do so. SEE, ILI, LSE, EII have valued Te- which is practical savings and on the surface, I think your dad is one of those. As for your mom, I dont know which Fe she exhibits but for general reference, Fe- likes to joke around but have spontaneous outbursts of negative emotions and Fe+ is trying to make everyone feel good. If my memory is correct: EIE, LSI, SEI, ILE have valued Fe- and ESE, LII, IEI, SLE have valued Fe+. It might be easier to ask some other relatives for what they observed in your parents to give you outside perspective. Typing parents is the hardest due to the nature of parent-child relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dead account View Post
    it seems to me that normalising logical types, especially if they are men, are more obsessed about structural rules, and that you conform to them, so they have a heavier focus on Ti. this is especially visible for me in the company I work in, which is rather technical and full of normalising ST types. normalising ethical types, especially if they are women, seem to have a stronger accentuation on Fi, which leads to cautios, over-anxious behavior. they care more that you follow social rules.
    I laugh at that because it’s true but not entirely. I think N subs will have high developments of both Ti and Fi no matter if they’re logical or ethical. I don’t agree with the anxious part for ethical as I’m not anxious, but my dad is a logical N sub and he’s anxious. As for the cautiousness, maybe I’m more so compared to regular SEEs but in terms of general cautiousness, no, I’m not since I’m still Se lead.

    However, politeness is paramount to me as being socially considerate towards others has always has been inherently a “thing” to me even when I was a little kid. I wasn’t raised to be that way, as my mother said, I’m naturally “very moral.” I don’t expect people to treat me in any type of way, but when I see what I think is “out of line,” I’ll make sure to point it out so that things don’t further get out of hand and it’ll get corrected. I hate chaos, although I can handle actual chaos in the moment rather well, just the idea of chaos makes me throw up. I actually thought that was because of where I grew up (which still could be a cultural thing but I also grew up in the same place with some of the most chaotic, grumpy, rudeass bitches and we’re still friends). I hate stuff that’s “wrong” both logically and interpersonally as I find that to be unacceptable and I’ll directly address it for both Ti (“You didn’t follow directions which is why you’re wrong and that proves my point that you’re a dumbass”) and Fi reasons (“What you need to do is take your attitude down 3 notches and don’t need to be acting like we don’t got lives to be waiting on your dumbass”).

    My dad is LSI-N. He also likes to call out both wrong stuff on Ti and Fi. He’s actually really good with the Fi stuff, but it’s super limited to those he’s close with (probably due to the aristocracy thing). Since N sub logicals are more confident with the Ti, it’s very likely that they exhibit mainly Ti in public spheres, as my dad does. Fi side is probably more prominent in private spheres and with my dad, it’s with my mom, me, his favorite sister, and very rarely with current wife (I think it’s because he doesn’t know her as well even though they’ve been married for like 12 years). My dad can’t let go of my mom and they’ve been divorced for a very long time. He still trusts her with money and they still share a bank account together where they both make periodic deposits (it’s money for me, actually). I’ve ran away many times as a kid and teenager and every time, my mom (SEE-D) would act cool like “oh well she’ll come back eventually,” but my dad would straight up panic and sought for me high and low. I went years in early adulthood without saying a single word to him, but he refused to let me go. He would keep communication lines open and send me weekly texts to check up on me and made monthly deposit into my checking account. Spring and Winter times he would send me care packages (allergy meds, a list of reminders what I’m allergic to, etc.). He still does this, but with less intensity. So like I say, I think G is totally right that normalizing subs have both elevated Ti + Fi development.
    Last edited by Kiana; 01-05-2021 at 06:37 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Yeah. I’ve never planned on living by myself or saw it was ideal. DH and I have been together since I was 16/ him 17. Things just happened and worked out that way, and when it became time to move on from our parents, we just assumed it would be together. So when we moved out, we moved in together. It makes me nervous thinking of kids growing up, moving out, DH dying and being by myself. I think I’d be truly depressed living on my own.
    You say it’s a scary thought because you’re not used to being on your own, but I think once you’re actually in that situation, you’ll find a way to adapt. I think for N subs, we don’t like the idea or the thought of being alone. I think we don’t think such things because that’s not the natural “order” of things. I didn’t ever think I’d be single since I was with an LSI-H since we were teens and went to college together. We followed each other to the ends of the earth. I went to Russia with him when he went there for his internship and he abandoned his studies and raced 800 miles back to me when I thought we were over. When we did breakup, it was extremely hard for both of us but for me, I cried nearly everyday for 1.5 years. Even when I was with the one after him who was also an LSI (this time N), I still felt for the one before. I think I loved the LSI-N but left him due to other reasons and it was years ago but even now, he still sends me messages to reach out (he’s asked me to try again but I’ve refused multiple times, but I’m happy he’s alive and doing well for himself). I was with an SEE (probably C sub) after that and he did some bad things but turned himself in and went to jail (I know, it’s very stereotypical lol). The day he was released, he contacted me and told me he knew we were meant to spend our lives together, but I said no to him because I was in law school at the time and didn’t want to leave it. After I finished, I came looking for him, but then found out he died. I’ve mourned for him and since then, I’ve stayed alone and I’m surprised I’m not lonely. I know I’m still young and I don’t mind getting married at 30 or over, but I’ve also had the idea that I may never find anyone after. I’ve had 3 chances at love, and it’s hard for me to “feel” closeness. I always thought I’d be feeling lonely by not having someone, but I actually got used to being single and now, I’m not sure I’d ever give up my freedom.
    Last edited by Kiana; 01-05-2021 at 07:23 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    I think your dad sounds like he values Te>Ti type so Gamma or Delta, but not sure if logical or ethical. Your mom sounds like she values Fe>Fi so Alpha or Beta, but again, from limited info I can’t tell if logical or ethical. I can tell she doesn’t value Te because of the part that if someone asked for $10 she would give them $400 and not expect payment. It sounds like an Fe gesture to appear over the top generous. I’m actually very exacting with money and finances (G said that SEE-N and SEE-D are very calculating) and I although I’m easy going in general, but when it comes to treating people for food and drinks, lending money, etc. I know exactly how much and I’ll clearly spell out the agreed terms of agreement. I wouldn’t throw money around even when I did have money to do so. SEE, ILI, LSE, EII have valued Te- which is practical savings and on the surface, I think your dad is one of those. As for your mom, I don’t know which Fe she exhibits but for general reference, Fe- likes to joke around but have spontaneous outbursts of negative emotions and Fe+ is trying to make everyone feel good. If my memory is correct: EIE, LSI, SEI, ILE have valued Fe- and ESE, LII, IEI, SLE have valued Fe+. It might be easier to ask some other relatives for what they observed in your parents to give you “outside” perspective. Typing parents is the hardest due to the nature of parent-child relationship.
    Thanks! Actually that was extremely helpful Writing it out and getting feedback helps.

    I did make threads about my dad and my Mom once. I think a lot of people thought he looked Gamma NT, if my memory serves me right. He could be ILI if I really think about it. He’s just so private, I don’t even think I know him well. I told my SO, who works with him occasionally, and they are kind of ‘friends’, that I think he knows my dad better than I do. I don’t even know what he likes that much, kind of music he likes, his opinion on religion. My SO told me he was talking to him one day about the Bible, and my dad knew a lot about it and it surprised him. I was like, what??

    Ive considered ESE for my mom before. It just sounds so cliche, my mom being ESE lol And she is probably one the most ADHD people I know. I could see her being Ni PoLR. I thought before she could be Te PoLR because of how she is with money, but she’s just so extrovert. I don’t know, I think you’re right, she could be ESE, maybe ESE-C. I guess that would make sense
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    You say it’s a scary thought because you’re not used to being on your own, but I think once you’re actually in that situation, you’ll find a way to adapt. I think for N subs, we don’t like the idea or the thought of being alone. I think we don’t think such things because that’s not the natural “order” of things. I didn’t ever think I’d be single since I was with an LSI-H since we were teens and went to college together. We followed each other to the ends of the earth. I went to Russia with him when he went there for his internship and he abandoned his studies and raced 800 miles back to me when I thought we were over. When we did breakup, it was extremely hard for both of us but for me, I cried nearly everyday for 1.5 years. Even when I was with the one after him who was also an LSI (this time N), I still felt for the one before. I think I loved the LSI-N but left him due to other reasons and it was years ago but even now, he still sends me messages to reach out (he’s asked me to try again but I’ve refused multiple times, but I’m happy he’s alive and doing well for himself). I was with an SEE (probably C sub) after that and he did some bad things but turned himself in and went to jail (I know, it’s very stereotypical lol). The day he was released, he contacted me and told me he knew we were meant to spend our lives together, but I said no to him because I was in law school at the time and didn’t want to leave it. After I finished, I came looking for him, but then found out he died. I’ve mourned for him and since then, I’ve stayed alone and I’m surprised I’m not lonely. I know I’m still young and I don’t mind getting married at 30 or over, but I’ve also had the idea that I may never find anyone after. I’ve had 3 chances at love, and it’s hard for me to “feel” closeness. I always thought I’d be feeling lonely by not having someone, but I actually got used to being single and now, I’m not sure I’d ever give up my freedom.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Thanks! Actually that was extremely helpful Writing it out and getting feedback helps.

    I did make threads about my dad and my Mom once. I think a lot of people thought he looked Gamma NT, if my memory serves me right. He could be ILI if I really think about it. Hes just so private, I dont even think I know him well. I told my SO, who works with him occasionally, and they are kind of friends, that I think he knows my dad better than I do. I dont even know what he likes that much, kind of music he likes, his opinion on religion. My SO told me he was talking to him one day about the Bible, and my dad knew a lot about it and it surprised him. I was like, what??

    Ive considered ESE for my mom before. It just sounds so cliche, my mom being ESE lol And she is probably one the most ADHD people I know. I could see her being Ni PoLR. I thought before she could be Te PoLR because of how she is with money, but shes just so extrovert. I dont know, I think youre right, she could be ESE, maybe ESE-C. I guess that would make sense
    ILI dad with ESE mom doesnt sound so bad but they would be in totally separate spheres. An ILI told me, Gammas rip each other off so its ok. Just business.

    From what I understand, supervision is the most common for marriages. Your mom could be EIE and supervise your ILI dad. If shes Fe lead, its a matter of determining where Se is for her, because ESEs are actually very strong with Se... they just address conflict in a dramatic but weird, jokey fighting way like Cardi B (its the Ne mob).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Comatose Zaniac 007 View Post
    Or OCPD depending on if normalizing is ego-dystonic or ego-syntonic condition.
    I also have been wondering if autistic people are mostly normalising subtypes.

    https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism...ucksinarow.jpg

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    it would imo make ILI-N the most common type among autists

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    ILI dad with ESE mom doesn’t sound so bad but they would be in totally separate spheres. An ILI told me, “Gammas rip each other off so it’s ok. Just business.”

    From what I understand, supervision is the most common for marriages. Your mom could be EIE and supervise your ILI dad. If she’s Fe lead, it’s a matter of determining where Se is for her, because ESEs are actually very strong with Se... they just address conflict in a dramatic but weird, jokey fighting way like Cardi B (it’s the Ne mob).
    lol my dads been called a screwball well people might just be mad they have to pay him or aren’t feeling he is paying them enough...but yeah my parents don’t get along so great. I think they just stay married because dad is used to mom and she handles all his financial affairs and house work...and mom is financially reliant on dad. Things seemed to get worse after I moved out because I guess they didn’t have much reason to put up a farce of civility and now sleep in separate rooms. I didn’t have a bad upbringing though, if they are conflictors lol I think it’s more likely my mom is ESE>EIE

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    lol my dads been called a screwball well people might just be mad they have to pay him or aren’t feeling he is paying them enough...but yeah my parents don’t get along so great. I think they just stay married because dad is used to mom and she handles all his financial affairs and house work...and mom is financially reliant on dad. Things seemed to get worse after I moved out because I guess they didn’t have much reason to put up a farce of civility and now sleep in separate rooms. I didn’t have a bad upbringing though, if they are conflictors lol I think it’s more likely my mom is ESE>EIE

    My parents were Mirrors (LSE & SLI) and my father said that the sex stopped after the third child. Incredibly enough, he stayed faithful to her.

    They wouldn't argue much, but they wouldn't talk much, either. My mother was always low-level angry at my dad for not taking her anywhere, but she complained more to her kids about this than to him, I think. I think I saw my SLI dad flare up at her for about ten seconds, two or three times in my life. But he'd immediately return to placid seas.

    You don't have to be Conflictors to prefer sleeping in separate rooms.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My parents were Mirrors (LSE & SLI) and my father said that the sex stopped after the third child. Incredibly enough, he stayed faithful to her.

    They wouldn't argue much, but they wouldn't talk much, either. My mother was always low-level angry at my dad for not taking her anywhere, but she complained more to her kids about this than to him, I think. I think I saw my SLI dad flare up at her for about ten seconds, two or three times in my life. But he'd immediately return to placid seas.

    You don't have to be Conflictors to prefer sleeping in separate rooms.
    my dad hasn’t been faithful to my mom from the beginning, which is a large part of their problems. this last time was the last straw for my mom. I’m not sure how they were before, but my mom is pretty resentful. she tried to leave dad the first time, but times were different back then.
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    ^ whoa.

    I can't imagine my parents cheating on each other.

    I can't imagine me cheating on a partner. If my partner cheated, I think we'd be done. Period. No, wait. I know we'd be done.

    I told my last GF that she wasn't the One, and I was dating other women, but I wasn't having sex with them, and if I did, I'd tell her right away so she could make other plans.

    I don't know how screwed up that is, but at least it shows a little respect for the other person. I'm not lying to her. Not one bit.



    After my divorce, I found a new GF fairly soon thereafter. I think my ex was pissed for some reason. Why, IDK. But I introduced her to a guy who seems to be a Dual IEE to her SLI, and she moved in with him last March.

    About a week ago, she emailed me a link to a Zoom meeting, where she briefly wished me happy Holidays. I asked he what that was in the background. It looked like the material from a dress my mother used to wear. The pattern was large pink roses on a black background.
    "It's wallpaper" she said. "I'm in the bedroom."
    My first thought was, "Black wallpaper with pink roses in the bedroom? WTF?" My second thought was, "This must be her way of showing me that we're equal." Lol.

    Tit for Tat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    my dad hasn’t been faithful to my mom from the beginning, which is a large part of their problems. this last time was the last straw for my mom. I’m not sure how they were before, but my mom is pretty resentful. she tried to leave dad the first time, but times were different back then.
    Welp. That’s certainly going to cause some instability. As for conflictors, I think that relation bears more of a repressed tension. With supervision, it’s outright, blatant conflict and there’s no denying the conflicts are inescapable.

    I don’t know what my maternal grandparents are, considering my grandfather died young, long before I was born. He was known to carry on and had many affairs, but my granny (I think she’s SLE) was always tough and confrontational, went and chased off all the side women and raged at her husband but was very decidedly devoted to him. From what my mom said about her father, it sounds like he was LSI. They had a very long history, grew up in the same neighborhood and were teenage sweethearts and married at 17/18. The tragic part in all of this, my mom was a child and used to follow her mother to watch how her mother confronted all those women. My granny was not afraid to use violence against them. After he died, she stayed constant to his memory. But their lives were very “tumultuous,” the precise word my mom used. At any rate, it wasn’t ever directly talked about, the infidelities. My mom and her siblings all agreed that their mother literally “went insane” after her husband unexpectedly died so young (he was in the military). At that point, my mom was around 12 or 13, and she said she endured many years being at the receiving end of her mother’s narcissistic rage.

    Contrast with my parents who are direct supervision (LSI-N and SEE-D) that they also grew up boy/girl next door and my mom was still a teenager when she married my dad who had barely graduated college. She married him to get away from the abuse she endured with her mother, and although my dad is exceedingly rigid and domineering towards her, he was faithful and dutiful, loved her in a suffocating, obsessive and violent way. She ran away from one abusive home straight to another. Despite all that, my mom to this day said she never regretted enduring my dad. She preferred to be beaten by him over her mother. She said she will always love him, because he’s dutiful and even though he didn’t do right by her, she said that she’s confident that he’ll always do right through me. Maybe my dad does try hard with me because he said I carry all the best traits of my mom and him.

    Down the line, I’m SEE and looking at my relationships, the longest and best ones were with LSIs. They didn’t beat me but they definitely supervised me and loved me in the possessive and obsessive way that mirrored my parents. Sometimes I think we’re just wired to repeat the same thing that we grew up with because it’s unconscious, and no matter how much one tries to escape it, it’ll be there waiting for you on the other end.

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    I can now attest to Gulenko getting at least one more typing right since he just concluded my typing and confirmed my self-typing was correct down to the DCNH subtype

    In a way it was a waste of money because I didn't learn anything new and had no type doubts, but I'll take it as a confirmation from the author that I have understood and applied the Model G and DCNH theories correctly.

    It's also nice to have an "expert opinion" that you in fact are able to accurately self type without outside help and aren't delusional about your own type, isn't it "ex-SLE" @Kiana ?
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    For those that are interested, here are links to my videos

    First video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWWeeeC3CR0

    Second video after receiving new questions (this is the longest "main" video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK7_pW7xDII

    Response to typing (they will post this on their website): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9cmXWeTXpo

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I can now attest to Gulenko getting at least one more typing right since he just concluded my typing and confirmed my self-typing was correct down to the DCNH subtype

    In a way it was a waste of money because I didn't learn anything new and had no type doubts, but I'll take it as a confirmation from the author that I have understood and applied the Model G and DCNH theories correctly.

    It's also nice to have an "expert opinion" that you in fact are able to accurately self type without outside help and aren't delusional about your own type, isn't it "ex-SLE" @Kiana ?
    All that tells me is Im right that you're a hypocrite. Oh boo boo youre such a victim because youve buckled under pressure and sought validation from Gulenko just so you can brag about it. All that time you spent studying the information given in this thread about Gs process, SGFs responses to info on Ti, and my responses on Se was not a waste since you used it in your typing videos. Congrats on being the SLE poster boy for delusional, narcissistic people who believe they can correctly self-analyze through you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    All that tells me is I’m right that you're a hypocrite. Oh boo boo you’re such a victim because you’ve buckled under pressure and sought validation from Gulenko just so you can brag about it. All that time you spent studying the information given in this thread about G’s process, SGF’s responses to info on Ti, and my responses on Se was not a waste since you used it in your typing videos. Congrats on being the SLE poster boy for delusional, narcissistic people who believe they can correctly self-analyze through you.
    Yeah these sour grapes made it worth spending the 120 bucks for Godlenko to tell me what I already knew, lmao.

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    A lot of amateur armchair psychology in this thread. In my professional opinion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subteigh View Post
    A lot of amateur armchair psychology in this thread. In my professional opinion.
    Let's slip into something more comfortable and lie on a sofa [ah, surprising double meaning] next to Freud.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    For those that are interested, here are links to my videos

    First video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWWeeeC3CR0

    Second video after receiving new questions (this is the longest "main" video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK7_pW7xDII

    Response to typing (they will post this on their website): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9cmXWeTXpo
    Ok now I see the EP temp more... you seemed more ij in your old videos. You do however seem like a very heavy ji sub to me.

    Sle ti 3

    I'll accept my 122 through venmo

  37. #757
    growing cakes on some ropes Vex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I can now attest to Gulenko getting at least one more typing right since he just concluded my typing and confirmed my self-typing was correct down to the DCNH subtype

    In a way it was a waste of money because I didn't learn anything new and had no type doubts, but I'll take it as a confirmation from the author that I have understood and applied the Model G and DCNH theories correctly.

    It's also nice to have an "expert opinion" that you in fact are able to accurately self type without outside help and aren't delusional about your own type, isn't it "ex-SLE" @Kiana ?
    Very convenient how you didn't mention how you have mistyped numerous people who have also gotten typed by Gulenko. SGF as IEI (lol what), TGF as EII/Delta, and me as EIE (I already had thoughts I was introverted for a while, hence what moved me to get typed. There is no shame in that, especially given the dynamics before hand where I like many others were essentially pushed into a type). There are probably more mistypes if I took the time to think about it. Some of these typings you keep pushing to this day since you refuse to listen to anyone outside your own understanding when it comes to the structure, and when you are typed by someone, you are put into their structure which is an entire learning experience in itself. So no, you're not on the level Gulenko is or even of his students, don't act like it or put those under fire who have gotten typed and have admitted to learning something from it, which is in direct contrast to you and how you treat all of this and Gulenko's experience.


    Idiosyncratic > Mercurial > Aggressive


    BORN TO TYPE
    WORLD IS A SOCIONIKA
    心理学 Type Em All 1991
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  38. #758
    an octave lower inumbra's Avatar
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    Why do you @Kiana @Vex demand our conformity? Why do you demand N? Do you not know it is death? Liberate yourselves.

    Someone telling you what you are cannot save you if you cannot understand it and find that conclusion yourself. You will remain as lost as you always were.

    Gulenko cannot give anyone identity. He cannot resolve the challenge of the image triad for you.

    He is not God.

  39. #759
    growing cakes on some ropes Vex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    Why do you @Kiana @Vex demand our conformity?
    I've said multiple times that I don't care who gets typed and who doesn't. But guess who made a huge deal out of people being typed? Forumites. My sentiments regarding this have been buried over and over and over again since people complain about "authority" and "the system" not being how they want it to. Well, that's life. I didn't even make a thread announcing I got typed or anything like that. Just posted about it in the typology random thoughts thread. When I saw that @Reyne made this thread, it made my stomach churn because firstly I didn't want to be on a list like this (I do NOT see my typing as a trophy and I don't like the idea of a G gang), and secondly because I knew it was going to make a bunch of people on the forum freak out.

    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    Why do you demand N? Do you not know it is death? Liberate yourselves.
    I really don't understand this. I'm a C subtype. I'm just calling out hypocrisy in his post.

    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    Someone telling you what you are cannot save you if you cannot understand it and find that conclusion yourself. You will remain as lost as you always were.

    Gulenko cannot give anyone identity. He cannot resolve the challenge of the image triad for you.
    Yup. I knew I was IEI. It's what I originally typed as here and that's why I got typed in the first place. I got tired of being pushed into EIE, but since they're mirrors, it makes sense on the surface. Overall, I agree someone can't give identity. There are people who have gone to Gulenko and disagreed because they get too absorbed in their own identity or view of themselves. Socionics doesn't even assign identity, so what I talk about though in my post isn't even about identity, and that wasn't even my reason for getting typed. Everything I talk about is for purely structural reasons. For a few, sure, they got typed for identity. Though most people who got typed by him just wanted to do it for funsies.

    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    He is not God.
    Yeah of course not. He is the most credible person in this field, though.


    Idiosyncratic > Mercurial > Aggressive


    BORN TO TYPE
    WORLD IS A SOCIONIKA
    心理学 Type Em All 1991
    I am jung fan

    410,757,864,530 PEOPLE TYPED




  40. #760
    Northstar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vex View Post
    Very convenient how you didn't mention how you have mistyped numerous people who have also gotten typed by Gulenko. SGF as IEI (lol what), TGF as EII/Delta, and me as EIE (I already had thoughts I was introverted for a while, hence what moved me to get typed. There is no shame in that, especially given the dynamics before hand where I like many others were essentially pushed into a type). There are probably more mistypes if I took the time to think about it. Some of these typings you keep pushing to this day since you refuse to listen to anyone outside your own understanding when it comes to the structure, and when you are typed by someone, you are put into their structure which is an entire learning experience in itself. So no, you're not on the level Gulenko is or even of his students, don't act like it or put those under fire who have gotten typed and have admitted to learning something from it, which is in direct contrast to you and how you treat all of this and Gulenko's experience.
    I see you are treating my post as if every single typing of others I've made is correct. Of course not, nobody gets every typing correct. This was more about my self-typing supposedly being delusional (ha ha).

    When it comes to the people you mention, you're reversing the timeline on SGF. Yes, he went on a wild ride of constantly changing typings including SLI, IEE, IEI, ILI and ILE before his Gulenko typing and my first ever suggestion was SLI, followed by Ni leading (more likely IEI) and then grudgingly ILE. If you refresh your memory, I was among the first to hail his LSI-H typing being a "stroke of genius" and have backed this typing ever since. I don't completely reject or accept any source of information, everyone has their good and bad moments. That's high-D Ti for you. In the case of TGF, yes I continue to doubt LSI and I don't think she even herself feels this to be correct. Fi leading type is still my opinion. As for you, EIE has always seemed like a better fit in my opinion, however IEI-Fe alternative is not in the category of "delusional" in my opinion as these impressions are based on online behavior and not videos.

    All these typings are still opinions and I reject the idea that anyone's typing (including mine) here or even Gulenko's should be taken as absolute truths. Battle typing is an annoying but common feature of the forums that you just have to deal with, best thing to do is to remember that everyone is full of varying amounts of shit and the level of certainty someone has does not have anything to do with how correct they actually are.

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