What you go on further about with being socially envious and a weirdo: I should have mentioned earlier, that is common among all IxFx even when they are NOT 4s as well. The fact that you never TRIED to be unique is telling, though. Shit, I have been guilty of feeling that way myself and I’m not even IxFx OR 4. (I was also bullied and ostracized in one period of my life, so that explains a lot. I have ended up popular later on, instead. Some kind of ying yang cycle, I guess.) I also believe 9w1 is normally properly dressed, very far from the hobo slob idea we can get with 9w8’s appearance. They are also way neater than 9w8 in their living spaces, too. I have seen you bring up your ED before- I hope you are in a better place now. I was never officially diagnosed with one and I don’t think I ever had a full fledged one, but I have binged and purged in my time - could just be a BPD thing. Skipping meals was probably the worst ED habit I had adopted - it’s something I still do randomly here and there to this day but now it’s more due to me putting my social plans or adventures ahead of forcing myself to eat. I have probably done most self destructive things you can think of lol. I love fashion personally, and I like to have a bold and attention grabbing style that is simultaneously trendy- I have dressed goth, punk and alternative, preppy, and so on all in my past. But you will also catch me being lazy some days, like yesterday I didn’t even shower and I just threw on some rags when it was time for me to head out the house, but I still tried to make an impression by wearing a pretty decent hat that I’ve never worn around the company I was with before, and I ended up getting a compliment on it so mission accomplished. I have my own fear of getting fat or being ugly (including fixating over my face being fatter as well) and I would be inclined to agree that I would rather die than be too high up on those scales, and I would also throw in a fear of losing a common body part like a leg or whatever and being a freak because of that. It’s not hard to see why I’ve typed in the heart triad before, I think. But at some point, everything takes a backseat to my main worries of whether I’m having as much fun as I possibly could be in the moment and near future.
I am also terrible with spending money and I would not have saved a dime if I didn’t have my mom gatekeep my savings for me lol. I am 21. And yeah, I think enneagram is supposed to be uncomfortable.
I would agree with So instinct, and leaning So/Sp with it, too.
(And feel free to vocalize any thoughts on me, as well. )
Last edited by flames; 01-25-2021 at 10:32 PM.
And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night
Originally Posted by Starfall7w6 2w3 8w9 - The Free Spirit
@flames, I think maybe when you have issues like we do, it just makes us hard to pin down it can be hard to see passed all of it imo.
so are you going with 7w6 now? I could see that for you. Or 4w3 fix? What made you change your mind ultimately?
I’m ok right now, thanks for asking I never got too thin. I started chewing and spitting when I was in my early teens. it started when I thought my face was fat. Lol. I didn’t think about food too much when I was younger, honestly. I hardly ate. I started getting obsessive about it in my early 20’s and was weighing myself several times a day/counting calories/documenting my weight/aiming for like 800 cal a day or less. Visiting pro Ana sites for tips & tricks (my bad lol) But I never get to the point where I wanted to keep loosing and loosing. I’ve only went under 100lbs once when I had adderall to help me lol. But I still think about my weight a lot, but right now I’m not being overly obsessive about it, not as bad as I was. It varies.
Last edited by aster; 01-26-2021 at 12:21 AM.
I lived alone for 3.5 years in my mid-twenties, not because it was the healthiest for me but due to lack of options for compatible roommates!, and then comfort and fear of change as I got settled in. Experienced loneliness on the reg.
Now I'm coming up on 3.5 years with a varying cast of roommates every 6 mos-2 yrs in the city where I'm in grad school, and my goodness, do I also appreciate the insight above that 'Having a live-in roommate would be really tough for me if that person weren't very compatible.'
- The things I went through with an academically brilliant young woman (LII, probably) who had major issues with personal hygiene and physical self-awareness.
- With my identical, who was going through crazy stressful re-processing of childhood trauma and we had all these lead Fi-lead Fi... confusion on 'are we housemates first or friends first', as she would put it... omg.
And then she wasnt gonna be comfortable living with our new roommate for reasons related to her trauma, so she moved out very suddenly. And this new roommate is my conflictor.
And for the first time next week I'll have a male roommate! Who will play some kind of buffer role between me and conflictor, I imagine.
I needed the social safety net of having people around me, especially while adjusting and orienting to a really stressful grad program. And my living habits have improved in this time -- I can really tell when I'm on my own but still clean up after myself more quickly than I did back in my solo living days.
Lease ends in July and I'm apartment-hunting for August already. Gonna be me and a cat and I'm excited for it. My head is still spinning in adjusting to some of the roommate dynamics, but also, at least I have SOME company right now--my small circle of friends and I up here are being really cautious with covid, so I only get to see them every few months... I could see some acquaintances, but the intimacy would just be all off, kinda, so I haven't for a while.
@spaciousfreedom, I’ve found that roommates are a really mixed bag. Almost all of my roommates have been introverts, but not all of them have been easy to live with.
After university, I lived alone for a couple years. Had an LSI GF whom I didn’t live with, then a succession of relatively brief affairs with a variety of women, none of whom lived with me. Each one was fun and unstable. The last one was so crazy that I started to think that I was one of those people who was just not cut out to be married. So I stopped dating and stopped looking.
After about a year of living entirely for myself, I met this female SLI. I didn’t even think she was my type, but we kept hanging out and I started thinking that she was so easy to get along with that it might be possible for the two of us to live together. To test this, I rented a little house on the beach near Charlevoix and we lived there for two weeks. We got along seamlessly, she was smart and sensible and beautiful as hell, I knew she would make a good mother to our children, and I started thinking of marriage.
I did marry her, and I was right; we could live together easily, and we did. Unfortunately, her family had a history of divorce and we were not Duals, so one day, after many years, she moved out. But she was actually a great roommate.
When Gulenko types your pair/close friend to a dual by your description, or you know such cases - tell us here.
Duals are not often case in pairs. And not often for close friends, as those are common of same sex and so relations have more predisposition to be emotionally surface as pals, for what closer by abbilities types are also or more interesting.
Among reasons is that people pay not so much attention to the personality of the pair, compared to sexual passion and social status/material incomes. It's sad, it predisposes to emotionally worse pairs, but it exists massively and seems worldwide. Many people even do not believe to have long good emotions and close friendship in a pair as possible or important, so don't seek for this. With other situation there would be lesser divorces instead of ~50%: as to have good material situation without concrete pair is not hard in many places, as sexual passion reduces significantly during ~3 years, especially when personal attraction and love state are not good, as people overesteemate individualism and don't care enough about the pair so he felt good and both felt good too as people in a pair depend strongly from the state of each other - so stays much lesser than was initially to be in a pair; it's important to have good friendship and love state so long relations were more interesting and attractive than switching to other pairs.
Also there is a quantity of other relatively good and not bad IR (semiduality, activation, mirror, mirage, identity) what reduces the chance to choose a dual by personal sympathy factor.
As it's evident that Gulenko understands the lack of data when types by a description, so higher chance he intentionally may say duals, but not because thinks so with an assurance as claims. People like it and hence this helps with new people to come.
I was in a relationship with my look-alike, an LSI, for a year during that period of living alone. At first didn't think he was marriage material, then was changing my mind after a few months. Towards the end we talked about him maybe moving in with me down the line. He was QUITE unhealthy, though, which is why I ended up pulling the plug on the whole thing. But we did get along really well, so I think I can relate.
1. Were you doing well in school? Which subjects did you do better? <= easy enough, was a str8 A student :/, IT and foreign languages+math. I hated literature.
2. Can you sort out a lot of information in your area of interest? <= well yeah and I ranted about that.
3. What does it mean for you to be a "problem solver"? <= explained how I solved problems at work and for friends, specific examples.
4. Do you finish what you started when you no longer have an interest? <= I said NO, because I don't.
5. How do you memorize data? Numbers, dates, multiplication tables? Do you use associations or analogies? <= I hate rote memorization, prefer associative thinking and understanding how shit works. My memory is bad for unimportant details.
6. Do you have a mood swings during the course of a day? <= nope, stable mood unless someone pisses me off or I feel ill.
7. In what situations are you alive and emotional? <= gave specific examples, concert, good movie, in love, doomer music
8. Do you perceive well the emotional state of the person next to you? <= I said yes, easy for me to read body language and to understand other ppl.
9. Do you like jokes? Can you be ironic? <= yupp, I often joke with friends, sometimes crude jokes.
10. How do you feel during your public appearances? <= anxious, would rather stay in the background, but I can handle myself surprisingly well if put in a spot.
11. How would you behave if you find yourself in a conflict situation? <= fight or flight and gave specific examples including punching through plasterboard walls at work, breaking doors, punching ppl & fighting in the street when I was a kid, smashing equipment, openly threatening people with violence.
12. Do you maintain orderliness in your room/closet/desk? <= my answer was NO, I am messy and disorganized.
13. Do you play sports? If so, what kind of sport? <= answer was not really outside of strength training & enjoying competitive gaming.
14. Do you have a best friend? Compare yourself to him/her. How do you differ in character? <= gave a comparison.
2. Do you have a mood swings during the course of a day?
3. Are you anxious in certain situations?
4. Do you feel that any events will happen?
5. How do you handle your finances?
6. Do you believe in “happy end”?
7. Do you like to spend your time outdoors, in nature?
8. How would you behave if you find yourself in a conflict situation?
9. Do little kids love you?
10. Do you have a close friend? Compare yourself to him/her. How do you differ in
~we're just out here havin a good time~
Some of us were asked to compare ourselves to our girlfriends/boyfriends, others to our friends/close friends.
I wonder if this is intentional, or if it's the question serves exactly the same purpose, just framed differently?
What good is a book that does not even transport us beyond all books?
Last edited by myresearch; 01-28-2021 at 01:00 AM.
this SEE reminds me of a person that I can't remember right now. a shame that he mentions his type so soon because I want to know if I come to the same conclusions. I just immediatly saw him as extrovert.
That SEE dude strikes me as SEE-C which I think is the most common, stereotypical SEE. I’m restrained and not so impulsive as typical SEEs since I have developed Ti + Fi. An EP with EP temperament is chaotic and I’ve seen some of that guy’s videos and he’s literally all over the place. I knew he had developed Ne, but hard to know where the Ne is placed with Model A.
I noticed Se base types have this solidity not only to their bodies but also facial features seem heavy, solid, well built. Makes me wonder how much of one's genetics plays a part in type. Most SLEs for example seem to be high testosterone, even the women. a lot of the recommendations for becoming more C sub which relate to Se or simply improving Se are stuff one has to do to increase testosterone, such as :eating red meat a lot, contact team sports, becoming more competitive and taking every small advantage over other people one can get.. weight lifting.
I edited and added some to a couple of comments about daydreaming in this thread (here)-
Sicuramente cercherai il significato di questo.
Lol, the russian trolls have their presence even on Gulenko's review videos. Had to go in and give them some fodder by linking the original typing videos instead of the 4 min review. Let's see if they manage to come up with something even better than Sol level typology like what t-shirt you're wearing and if you scratched your nose once. The "marshall in void" girl (claims to be SLE) is especially great, she doesn't even know what Jungian dichotomies are but claims to have the only description of extroverted sensing on her own youtube channel, lmfao.
And no, he doesn’t ask for additional videos for anyone who’s been typed. People can be bitchass angry that they didn’t get the type that they wanted and complain to him but that’s not his problem if you psychologically built yourself up around a false identity. You assume that 2 videos isn’t enough but that’s arbitrary on your part since you don’t have the research knowledge he has so you can’t determine what his method is or why it is. And no one is almighty but so what? We’re not talking about God and so I don’t know why you brought that in, as that’s another thing altogether. We’re talking about socionics and who has in-depth expertise and knowledge, DarkAngelFireWolf69 with Ph.D and his entire life’s work for 30+ years vs hobbyists on a forum.
If you do, then you are saying his method/skills are flawless which would be inhumane/almighty since people who have lots of experience and phd in medicine, science, engineering etc can do mistakes, making mistake about socionics's type or attachment style or something related to typology, psychology is much more easy. This isn't about Gulenko, if there was any another socionist I would say the same thing. I can even say noone can type everyone with %100 accuracy. Gulenko can decrease his margin error by asking for additional videos when he is uncertain or refunding as dead suggests. Some other people can decrease their margin errors in different ways. Having a room for improvement doesnt decrease the credibility or success of a work.
Last edited by myresearch; 01-28-2021 at 03:14 PM.
I checked a few testimonial vids about Gulenko's typing in his channel. It comes off to me as if it's life changing. I don't know if clients are given a personalized type description, but if they were, is it really that accurate? I'm kinda thinking I should go get typed, but I'm still trying to improve my knowledge of socionics so I can be a good judge of his assessment of me. I think I only saw one who didn't agree on the typing so far, but to be fair I do think that with my limited knowledge he was typed correctly.
A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
(Jung on Si)
in my case, when I sent in my video, I hadn’t been doing much research at the time on socionics (and hopefully forgot a lot) or read that much into gulenko/his book to where I understood +/- functions. And I didn’t want to do a refresher that way it wouldn’t have as much of an influence on what I said. Of course it could have some, because I do know the basic theory. But imo, you are better to go into it naive that way your answers won’t be as swayed... not that I’m saying you would, but I think if you know something it could be unconscious. And then read more about his theory, the book etc. afterward to see if you think it matches. Of course, it’s up to you, but that would just be my advice
I saw the SEE guy who thought he was SLI. I thought he seemed clearly base ,IMO. He didn’t look very happy about it
of course I agree it’s impossible to get everyone right.
Bottom line is I immensely respect G because of his hard work and brilliant continuation and refinement of the energy model, +/- system, and DCNH. Until you’re able to level the same amount of forceful contribution to challenge him, you’ve got nothing to stand on.
Yeah that's the vid I saw too. I actually knew his channel and have watched his videos. I'd say Fe polr is unlikely. He even has random videos of him dressing up as a girl and seducing/poking fun at typologists. He mentioned he has said a lot of things related to comfort and internal state, but seems like Gulenko saw past that.
~we're just out here havin a good time~