Member Questionnaire 1 (mbti2020)What is beauty? What is love?
Baby don't hurt me no moreee. Kidding lol. Beauty? Idk, just like physical attractiveness (which is, for the most part, subjective). And then love is commitment, sacrifice, and devotion.What are your most important values?
Freedom. Far and away before anything else. Secondarily, authenticity/individuality (which I consider freedom of thought and expression). Third would be material comfort (not necessarily luxury, but not struggle either). Fourth is privacy (which again, I'd argue is a form of personal freedom).Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I was raised Christian (non-denominational protestant). I still practice it. My spiritual status is a bit confusing but I would feel guilty if I left the faith.Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
War is idiotic. Tbh, the idea of divisions of countries is also so stupid and arbitrary. Why is someone better or worse because they happened to be born on a different patch of dirt? It's just a result of evil, corrupt human nature, but it's so illogical and I don't get why no one seems to question the necessity of war in life (people question certain wars, but everyone seems to take for granted that war is necessary. Why?)What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Well, I've certainly had long conversations about my own personal problems and circumstances, but also politics, news, and current events (especially from a theoretical perspective as in the answer to the question above) and conspiracy theories. I don't believe in them but they are a fantastic source of comedy.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Not really. I have a lot of medical conditions that I have to be aware of out of necessity as a matter of life or death, but no, I've never really been into health or medical stuff. Plus I'm like the least athletic person on planet earth (not good at it and have 0 interest in it). It's been that way my whole life. There are times that I fantasize about being cool and athletic but I have no desire to actually work on it to get there.What do you think of daily chores?
Boring and unpleasant. If I were rich enough I would hire them out to someone else. Sadly I am not, so I try to do the bare minimum necessary to not end up on Hoarders or have rat infestations or something, but I'm certainly not going above and beyond and dusting stuff or whatever.Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I don't watch a lot of films, but I generally like action movies. So far Top Gun is my favorite movie, but I haven't seen many. For books I love dystopian novels (because of the sociocultural and sociopolitical commentary, especially in an anti-authoritarian manner). 1984 and Animal Farm by Orwell are some of my favorites. I read Fahrenheit 451 and Brave New World but didn't like those because I didn't see them as realistically happening in the future and thus they were irrelevant as a sociocultural/sociopolitical critique in modern times. The Prince by Macchiavelli was also interesting to see how so many of these tactics (as well as our image conscious society, especially politics) still exist 600 years later, but it's teachings are morally dubious. Plus the idea of an image conscious society, although accurate, is just depressing.What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I think for me I am especially affected by social rejection; whether it happens to me or somebody else it makes me cry. I think because I have experienced it and how painful it is I can empathize with how hard it is on someone else. I am not someone who smiles easily as I am not generally emotionally expressive (anger is usually the one exception). However, I do have a very dark (although not necessarily offensive) sense of humor, and those types of jokes can make me smile. Additionally, very accurate political spoofs/parodies can make me smile, although it is rarer.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
The city. I don't know how to explain it, but being surrounded by a concrete jungle (no disgusting nature anywhere) and people on all sides just feels so natural. It's odd because I don't have much of a social capacity for actually engaging with people but I love to surround myself with people and feel like part of a crowd without actually doing the work of interpersonal interaction. It's the same dopamine of being without people without any of the effort or energy draining aspect of it.What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
My biggest and most obvious weakness is my interpersonal skills (although it's hard to differentiate how much of that is my personality and how much is just being autistic). Likewise, another weakness (which again could be an autistic thing, idk) is that I am a very black and white/extreme thinker. I tend to make all or nothing statements and perceive the world in polarities (something or someone or some situation is either all good or all bad). I am also not a very compassionate or generous person; I find it difficult enough to be able to take care of myself so I have no real energy or interest left to give to others.What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I am diligent and tenacious. I have very good time management and always plan out my schedule such that I never miss a deadline. I am good at dealing with big picture and theoreticals (and enjoy it as well, so long as it leads to a conclusion or tangible result - tossing around theories with no end result is incredibly frustrating). These are my strengths to the outside world, but tbh there's not much I actually like about myself. Again going back to the black and white statements but it's very very easy for me to recognize my weaknesses (perhaps just my pessimistic and cynical nature) and incredibly difficult for me to find my strengths. Even if other people see strengths in me, I don't see them in myself.In what areas of your life would you like help?
I don't know, honestly. I know I'm not perfect and I need help but I hate asking for it, because it makes me feel weak and insufficient or like some pathetic charity case. I would say probably physically (in terms of household chores and other physical labor). Beyond that I'm not sure.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes. Especially during the pandemic. Every rut I've ever experienced in life has been due to loneliness and a lack of connection (not just friends but even acquaintances or people to casually talk to). I'm in a position where I have no one outside of my family and I hate it. I notice that my impressions of the past are largely based on my social success or failure - I remember a time fondly (even if there were negative incidents that happened) if I had a lot of social success and vice versa. My reaction to it is to become incredibly withdrawn/reserved (even more so than usual - I always tend to bottle in my emotions but now I have more emotions to bottle in). I usually attribute failure to some personal fault of mine. I stop trying things because every time I try I fail (or so I think at least). I might even be a bit weepy, although I will only do so alone in a dark room so that no one could ever see such emotional vulnerability on my part.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I most admire nonconformists; people who are able to stand up for their beliefs despite immense pressure. Especially people who are emboldened to turn it into action, rather than just being rebellious in thought the way that I am. I most dislike people who are uncommunicative yet still have high expectations (I'm not a mind reader), or who are close minded (and by that I don't mean being unable to change your opinions, if anything that can be admirable, but moreso people who view others as evil or less than simply for having different views). I say live and let live. I also dislike people who are deceitful or manipulative - I don't fall for it, so it just pisses me off. As far as what types I get along with, I only know in terms of MBTI/cognitive functions, not socionics. But all of my long lasting friendships have been with INFPs and ENFPs, although I wouldn't want one as a romantic partner. I've also had short term friendships with ISTJs, an ENFJ, and an ENTJ.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I am abstinent but still have a high sex drive. I generally prefer for the opposite sex to make the first move but sometimes if they don't I will get to a point of desperation that I will finally reach out myself. I have only done so twice and been rejected both times. I have no real romantic experience to base off of (not even a date), although I desperately wish I did, so this is all purely hypothetical. I admire a partner who is rebellious, confident yet not arrogant, and laid back and free spirited (someone who will not be controlling but is more go with the flow). I will also add someone who is able to take things seriously and respect people's boundaries; the prankster type annoy me immensely. I find I am drawn to ISTPs like a magnet (although it is often one sided). After studying cognitive functions, I would be open to dating an ESFP with developed tertiary Te although I have never met one IRL. It seems like ENFPs (and the occasional INFP) are drawn to me but I don't like them as partners because I see them as effeminate and even weak.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Oh no I hope I would never have to raise a child. I hate children and would never want one of my own. If I had an unwanted pregnancy I'd rather just give it up for adoption (I don't believe in abortion). But I suppose in the hypothetical nightmare scenario that I have a child that I actually have to raise, my concerns would beA friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
1. Am I a single parent and thus having to do all the child rearing myself
2. Would I have to give up my career to be a stay at home mom
3. If so, how would I survive financially
4. If not, how would I have the time to work full time, take care of the household, and raise a child
5. How would I deal with the messiness and the crying and having 0 sleep
6. How would I even talk to or relate to a child? How does one form a relationship with such an alien form?
As far as measures taken I honestly don't know.
Anger. Instantaneous anger. Inwardly fuming and indignant; outwardly skeptical but with a bit of anger seeping through; probably would come across as defensive. If they are unable to prove their claim I would be disgusted; if they are able to I would be frustrated, annoyed, and silent.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I believe people are naturally evil and corrupt. I believe people by default are self interested and thus don't care about others. I believe the vast majority of acts of charity (especially those that are broadcasted) are merely performative in nature and stem from a desire to make oneself look good rather than actually caring about others. I believe I am non-existent to society; I have never been popular and most people probably wouldn't know who I am or care if I just up and disappeared (which is incredibly disappointing because I want to be remembered and leave a legacy). I believe (like the premise of Orwell's Animal Farm) that social hierarchies only cause corruption and oppression but it is evident that they are part of the natural cycle of history and will never be completely eradicated; oppression will always exist, the only change is who is oppressed and who is oppressing.How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
Trying to reach out to anyone who is receptive. From there seeing who I have the most commonalities with and then trying to get together or do activities of some sort in order to keep the friendship going. I am incredibly anxious around people initially but usually warm up to them after about 30 hours of interaction. I am still not fully and openly expressive and myself until about a year of knowing them. Then after about 2 years (3 if I consider them less trustworthy) is when I am willing to share deep personal secrets.How do you behave around strangers?
Awkward and nervous, especially around authority figures. Very short and to the point with my responses. Incredibly reserved and closed off. I'm certainly not the type to smile and wave at a random stranger on the street. Skeptical and cautious; almost waiting for something to go wrong.