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Thread: Gamma NTs, do you enjoy being with Alpha NTs?

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    Default Gamma NTs, do you enjoy being with Alpha NTs?

    Any experience with regards to friendships and romantic relationships between Gamma and Alpha NTs?

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    I was a friend with whom I suppose is an LII, during most of my childhood years. Overall I think of that friendship cordially, but our differences in values - deriving from functions - emphasized during teenage years and each went their way (and I was trying to keep it up or save it, as I don't like losing friends, but they seemed to be annoyed by me if I spoke/wrote freely, and as they didn't want to argue, so they just went 'ughh' and on/off blocked me, resulting in my teenage-self reacting with 'wtf/why/explain please'; they also found new friends and didn't want me to 'join in' I guess, which I wasn't particularly happy about, being left out or left alone by someone who I thought was my friend). These days, I also don't think that friendship was particularly deep in anything, sadly.
    As for other LIIs, I don't know: I weren't close to them. With some I intellectually headbutted about some opinions/values/issues, some were pretty cool and we could be friends but it never realized, and so on. I don't think I was very deeply, genuinely invested romantically in an LII, although I think one of my teenage 'love interests' (whom I have no idea why I 'pursued', looking back, maybe because of my psyche being really unhealthy at that time? lol) might have been an LII-Ne.

    As for ILEs, many of them I find repulsive. Their lack of Fi shows upfront. Those that I don't find repulsive (their PoLR is not that visible, and they are not 100% complete children/teen combo) I usually find quite attractive, but differences in values are huge. I can role with Si but bro, I'm not getting that Fi back and they don't find my lack of Fe attractive. Or any seriousness in fact.
    Last edited by Duschia; 10-31-2020 at 11:18 AM.

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    Yes, I feel in love with ILE and she is capricious, I love her but damn her.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Duschia View Post
    I was a friend with whom I suppose is an LII, during most of my childhood years. Overall I think of that friendship cordially but our differences in values (deriving from functions) emphasized during teenage years and each went their way (and I was trying to keep it up or save it, as I don't like losing friends, but they seemed to be annoyed by me if I spoke/wrote freel, and as they didn't want to argue, so they just went 'ughh' and on/off blocked me, resulting in my teenage-self reacting with 'wtf/why/explain please'; they also found new friends and didn't want me to 'join in' I guess, which I wasn't particularly happy about, being left out or left alone by someone who I thought was my friend).
    I have a similar experience with the above-mentioned ILE. There were some misunderstandings between us, partly concerning the expectations in the relationship, and when I tried to say how I felt and get her to say the same, she acted defensive and tried to act like nothing was wrong, basically I don't feel like I can talk to her about our relationship much because she gets defensive even though I have a need to communicate with her on this issue. And yes, I feel that she wants to avoid rocking the boat too much, which is why she tried to 'end' discussions without listening to me, I feel. I haven't really seen her in months and we rarely speak over social media at this point and it makes me sad, because we were close at one point, and then boom she acts like I don't exist almost (even if she answers my messages, I don't feel she is very into it anymore, so I also don't feel like messaging her if I'm just more or less bugging her). Maybe in a few months, she will be more open to talk, time will tell...

    Anyways, the whole feeling ditched and betrayed thing is common in quasi-identical relations, though the suspicions are usually unfounded. I had a male ILE friend in hs who I hung out with a few months, then I started hanging out with other people, and he said "oh now he's got 'cool' freinds, he doesn't need me anymore". That wasn't at all my line of thinking or intent, but I understand why he felt that way, as the result was the same since I never saw him again. It was only years later I began questioning if I had made a mistake, if at least I should have tried to communicate with him more actively on this issue, but I wasn't very mature then.

    I think quasi has alot of potential for misunderstanding, if you want to continue these relations it's best not to take what your quasi does too dramatically, but it can also be hard because alot of it has to do with ignoring your superid functions and the help or support isn't there. It's generally best not assume an intent of betrayal on the part of quasis because that can lead to some real nastiness and the suspicion is usually the result of a misunderstanding - but these relations don't work out very well even if you keep these things in mind, ime.


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    Heh, all I can say that I can not offer intimate shoulder for everyday dealings when I just see inner storm as positive force.
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    my best friend of 13 years is textbook LII. in college, whenever we were with new people i always i felt like i had this pressure to Fe finesse individuals/groups because she was always so awkwardly unexpressive. her undervaluing se/fi was, i think, a sore spot in our friendship. it never came up unless i felt deprived(???) in our interactions and wanted more from her. like, she was never giving enough?

    i've always found ILEs to be somewhat charming/enticing. the ILEs i've come to know have the worse politics, on average, but usually have a wide, eclectic areas of interest so i find them interesting to listen to. i think they're the one of the most interesting types.

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    Probably. I probably don't mind it. Issue is, I can only speculate on who's what. Hypothetically, this guy CMD is, but I don't know. Couldn't tell you any way.

    Although actually, yeah makes sense. No, I have no problems with alpha NTs. I just barely know any.
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