What's my type? PLS, NEEDED!
I have asperger's syndrome, adhd, anxiety, and slight borderline caused by a bad teenhood and later childhooo.
i would often make friends with everyone as a kid, and dream of helping people, i still dream of making the world a better place, but through planning the fate of humanity, such as setting up "anniversaries" where many things happen or at least two things happen including the date itself, like "by my 24th birthday, 1, 2, and 3, will happen" or by this time, the election process will be over, ill have started work, my birthday will have come up, the pandemic will be over, and my parents' home country will be a safe place to visit.
I am often a poor planner due to my poor impulses and grasp over my emotions.
I can often have a sixth sense that is telling me something has happened, but it is usually wrong. at times, it's correct, but i wonder if i just never find out.
other times, yes its wrong, but im at least often on high alert.
i have trouble dealing with emotions, and sometimes i need to shut down.
im often having existential crises, but that could be because im young.
im very neurotic, but usually very private, but in the past i would overshare part of the time and undershare part of the time.
i get paranoid about revealing too much info irl to people that arent part of my inner circle.
i prefer one on one quality time.
i can only think about the future or sometimes the past, i have trouble focusing on the present unless im taking care of my self in sensory or research based activities with all the right conditions.
i often think contradictory info can exist at the same time, and are part of a greater truth. like salafism (puritanical literalist islam) and sufism (mystical islam which salafis decry as heresy, with various methods of deepening one's experience of God).
i often see the ends as justifying the means, but dont want to be perceived as heartless or a "traitor" to the group im a part of.
I fear technological advance going too far, but dont want to fall behind.
i can feel others' emotions.
i am often very empathetic or caring or sympathetic in ways people dont recognize
i try to comfort people, but that usually comes across as awkward, at least with my INTj best friend.
People in the muslim commnity often believe i am very spiritual, and pure, and believe, (an islamic thing) my "prayers will be answered more" so they usually ask my mom to ask me to pray for people who get sick or otherwise are suffering.
im an hsp (highly sensitive person)
little things make me very emotional or stay in my head
i overanalyze everything
i am a worrier
i used to be very suicidal in college, to the point i had to leave. suicidal thoughts are a major theme in my life.
One of the only reasons I want to be successful is so i can get married to the perfect girl. i am often in search of the perfect person or relationship or encounter where someone will "rescue me".
in romantic relationships, i prefer a woman who is sweet, gentle, loving, kind, and pretty. because girls my age or younger are either not attractive enough or are a complete emotional mess, i often like older muslim young women, only to be disappointed to find out they're married. (im 21)
This feels more like a...information you might tell a therapist which would help them mold therapeutic techniques and goals to use. Instead of necessarily information that might reveal your personality type. I am not that familiar with treatments for adhd, asperger’s, anxiety etc. but have you considered going to a psychiatrist? Sometimes meds can really help correct any chemical imbalances although not usually without side effects. But when you have so many diagnoses it might be worth considering. For BPD, I recommend DBT. There’s not really a med for that disorder, but the docs can try stuff, just let them know all this (that you have on here).
then maybe from a more ...serene or balanced place (give yourself some time), it might help to come back and figure out your personality type.
I would not recommend sharing a video of yourself on here no matter who asks you.
that’s all I have lol.
Before i wrote this i was guessing either INTj, INTp, INFp, or INFj