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Thread: What type are me and my husband?

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    Default What type are me and my husband?

    Me: I think I might be IEI or EII. I'm just not sure which?

    I would describe myself as rather quiet, private, introspective and a dreamer. But I also have this need to be seen as capable and confident so in certain situations I can appear more extroverted than usual. I walk around with a lot of social anxiety and worry about being 'exposed' to others so tend to withdraw a lot in the public eye. In close relationships, I'm more able to let my emotions come to light and expose my various moods and flaws. In public, I try to appear very cool, eager and collected like I have all the answers, whereas in close relationships I let my true self out which is much more lackadaisical, childlike and inconsistent.

    I'm fantasy prone and I can often get caught daydreaming, living in my own fantasy-world, playing out scenarios etc. I'm fond of surprises, spontaneity and can be impulsive at times, often making sudden purchases because I'm attracted to the idea of owning something new or being drawn to a particular aesthetic. I’m very sensitive to my environment and need to feel cosy and comfortable at all times, with the right fabrics, smells and overall decor/theme. Often I'm trying to recreate scenes from my youth (I'm very nostalgic), e.g. wearing the same perfume my mother wore when I was a child. My home is filled with memorabilia and posters from all of the movies and music I grew up with. I also love being around nature and animals as I love caring for those more vulnerable than myself.

    I like to work alone, managing my own time (often failing) and engaging with others only on my terms. I am okay with doing monotonous “boring” work as long as I know it’s within my abilities. I don’t like jobs where I have to think ahead and make long-term decisions. I'm drawn towards humanitarian fields such as psychology, history and philosophy. I'd like to be an online counsellor or work in the background promoting a charity I'm passionate about. I also love arts and crafts so I'd love to own my own crafty store on the side.

    My emotional state often depends on people around me. I’m good at focusing on others emotions and offering sympathy when they feel down, absorbing their feelings like they were my own. When it comes to my own feelings, I don’t know how to handle them and tend to shut down. I often come across as detached and subdued for this reason and I fail to make decisions. I also come across as overly modest as I downplay my needs and achievements. I tend to hint things a lot rather than just be direct and this can come across as either manipulative or passive-aggressive at times.

    I have a very analytical mind, especially when it comes to relationships. I often ruminante on what was said long after a conversation has ended and try to figure out how people tick so I can better relate to them. I don’t like uncertainy and unpreditability and tend to overprepare for events so that I don’t end up coming across as stupid.

    Though I try to avoid conflict for myself, I do become fascinated when other people are arguing with each other. I like to observe and watch to see how it will all pan out. I’m likely to appear easy-going on the outside but I’ll be more judgemental and take sides internally. I'm known to be very resilient and can put up with a lot before I let it get me angry. I think that's because I'm aware of others motives and intentions and keep note of everything a person says and does in order to predict what might happen in the future or know how to best defend myself.

    When taking on a project, I’m always think about all the things that could go wrong/right: “what will come of this? What will this look like in years down the line? Will I still enjoy it?”. Often I think so much about what could be, I end up failing to launch. I forget to take concrete steps to make things happen.

    I’m not very good at organizing my daily life and sticking to routines if there’s not someone else there to guide me. I like to be taken care of and to be provided for. I often wait until the last minute to take care of important matters. My strengths come to play in emergency situations and can really step up if there’s a sudden problem or tight deadline. I will dedicate every last minute to someone in need, putting all of my plans on hold.

    My husband: I believe he's a rational type.

    My husband is in a lot of ways, my opposite, but not so much so that we conflict with each other. He's incredibly organised, practical and future-oriented. He knows what he wants for the long-term and sets achievable goals for himself and monitors his progress. Sometimes this means that he struggles to be 'in the moment' but he says I've helped him with that. He likes to plan ahead for each week, e.g. meal-prepping, setting a schedule, making to-do lists etc) and often feels the need to control every aspect of his life.

    In social situations, he is much more easy-going and he'll be open to different ideas/suggestions and be supportive of other's interests, letting others make the decisions. He'll he'll be more boisterous, jokey and crude, without much of a filter. He'll tease others and be cocky but rarely in a way where you'd feed offended. He is somewhat of a social chameleon, very diplomatic and knows how to tailor his mode of speech to suit the right social group. With authority figures and parents etc, he'll be more reserved, tactful and polite. With friends, he'll be boastful. He's never scared to express affection or shower people with compliments and he can be very sympathetic when his friends are having personal problems. He goes above and beyond to help those he cares for and loves to provide people with good food and home comforts. He doesn't always pick up on hints and hidden meanings, which is something I've had to adapt to. He encourages me to be more direct and tell him what I want.

    Though he likes to take initiative, he wouldn't really suit a management role, nor would he suit being under someone else's authority. He is currently working towards becoming a lawyer (specifically a human rights lawyer) as he's very meticulous good with details, but he'd also suit a history professor or journalist. He's fascinated by world political theory, history (especially military history), true crime and law. He loves to take on debates about politics and he often wins because you can tell he has done his research and he has a very cerebral, quick wit. He's very intellectual and fond of strategy and efficiency. E.g. He likes to play strategy video games and likes to watch many tutorials in order to play in the most efficient way possible. I don't always understand this because I'm someone who likes to learn as I go along and be surprised. He likes to over-prepare and leave nothing to chance.

    He wants to know what I'm doing, what my plans are and what's going on in my head so he can know how to help me get forward. He likes nothing to be ambiguous because he always wants to help me to get to where I want to be. As someone who often struggles to get dressed in the morning, this is appreciated. He often encourages me to take practical steps each day to achieve my goals, knowing I don't have the motivation to do it by myself. He manages to do this in a way that doesn't seem overly controlling or 'naggy', but caring and helpful. He loves to find the best method of achieving something and likes to explain this to others sequentially and get feedback, which is why he'd make a great teacher.

    He's also very domesticated and enjoys cleaning, cooking and DIY. In his spare time he's either experimenting with new recipes or practising martial arts at the gym. He doesn't care so much about how the house is decorated (that's what I'm here for), as long as it is well-kept and efficient. He'll often take it upon himself to do most of the work but will get silent frustrated with those who take advantage of his industrious nature. He will eventually confront them in a diplomatically way but it pains him to do so as he hates to be the one to cause conflict. He takes fitness very seriously and worries a lot about his appearance. He has a very sensitive and soft side, which I think he tries to balance out with more 'manly' activities. He likes to keep up with trends and new gadgets etc, and he's always on the internet keeping abreast of the latest memes.

    He finds it difficult to watch emotional dramas or 'awkward comedies' because he gets secondhand embarrassment, meaning he empathises too much with a character going through a hard time and absorbs their emotions. For this reason, he always takes it upon himself to make others feel good and avoid conflict so that the atmosphere doesn't get too emotional and uncomfortable, therefore making him uncomfortable. Sometimes when I'm crying, he'll want to find a solution fast so that I feel happy again.
    Last edited by nevermissabeat; 09-29-2020 at 02:03 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nevermissabeat View Post
    [B]Me: I think I might be IEI or EII. I'm just not sure which?
    I'd pick IEI > EII. Seems like you value Ni and Se from the description

    My husband: I believe he's a rational type.
    Your husband - harder to say; from the description seems like IJ temperament (sounds independent but not the manager EJ type, future/goal oriented);

    LII is a possibility
    Last edited by fireee; 09-29-2020 at 02:52 PM.

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    @nevermissabeat

    You're def Beta NF. You kinda described some stereotypical IEI things. Some people similar to you do type EIE on this forum, as well. Not sure where your dislike of uncertainty and unpredictability belongs, IEI or EIE. Sounds more EIE tho bc IEI should be okay with the unpredictability of SLE. And your like of routines, it could be argued for either type but EIE supposedly loves the LSI routines or whatev.

    Your husband seems like an LSI-Ti. I don't think LII because he's the walking stereotype of LSI here: "He knows what he wants for the long-term and sets achievable goals for himself and monitors his progress" & "often feels the need to control every aspect of his life" & "He often encourages me to take practical steps each day to achieve my goals, knowing I don't have the motivation to do it by myself" & "He's also very domesticated and enjoys cleaning, cooking and DIY" & "He'll often take it upon himself to do most of the work but will get silently frustrated with those who take advantage of his industrious nature."

    Also you did say he has issues with the non-concrete (hidden meanings etc) but is better at being direct instead.

    Also pretty ST "He goes above and beyond to help those he cares for and loves to provide people with good food and home comforts."

    I said Ti subtype because he seems really really Fe valuing/Fe seeking. All those problems of his with emotional conflict lol.

    He also seems walking stereotype of ISTJ in MBTI too, one more point for LSI-Ti.

    Hope this helped

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    I'm going to analyse this a bit more.

    "I would describe myself as rather quiet, private, introspective and a dreamer. But I also have this need to be seen as capable and confident so in certain situations I can appear more extroverted than usual. I walk around with a lot of social anxiety and worry about being 'exposed' to others so tend to withdraw a lot in the public eye. In close relationships, I'm more able to let my emotions come to light and expose my various moods and flaws. In public, I try to appear very cool, eager and collected like I have all the answers, whereas in close relationships I let my true self out which is much more lackadaisical, childlike and inconsistent."

    That need to be seen capable and confident and then you extravert more... it could be Se mobilising/HA. I mean, if your idea of extraversion is Se then maybe EIE can see themselves as introverts?...

    The social anxiety stuff, it fits someone I know who I suspect to be EIE-Fe. All the rest you listed there afterwards also fits this person.

    I have no idea however about this being EIE or IEI or what: "my true self out which is much more lackadaisical, childlike and inconsistent"

    Like, lazy and what? All this does though fit the suspected EIE-Fe too, so yeah, it depends what exactly you had in mind there.

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