Well, I'm going to speak from personal experience here, which may not apply to you, but I too used to type ILI and thought it made sense and couldn't see myself as an Ij or INTj. Both have strong Ti and Ni and sucky Fi/Fe, but I kind of misunderstood Fi/Fe and Ti.

ILIs like Se, to be engaged and active; this kind of personality is something they are supposed to want on some level. But I have more of an architect/creator mindset. I know the socionics literature calls INTj "the analyst", but for me it is "the architect". And I don't really care about engaging the world, so it's probably my polr. And some things I thought belonged to Ti I was also attributing to Fi, such as ambivalent feelings about everything, which I guess could be argued as an internalized feeling, but I have strong contradictory feelings about everything, which makes me not have strong inclinations, if that makes sense, so I actually prefer to be more in-the-moment feeling and an Fe type helps me with that. I also noticed that I seemed to really rub people that are Fi-valuing the wrong way as well; I could make a joke or poke people for fun and they'd assume bad intentions behind it when I'm really just bored and maybe just looking for a reaction.

But I've also not gotten along well with Fe types historically because I think even though function pairs are supposed to complement each other, if someone is a strong extrovert or introvert, they repress and hold too much negative energy about their dual-seeking function. It's gotten better now that I think I'm more self-aware and I don't take myself as seriously anymore. So if you're ILI, maybe this has something to do with it too, including the SEEs you're around.