ILI/SLI affection

[persimmonism]

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[voider]

Well, I don't know about ILIs, but I've been observing my IEE and SLI friends skirting around each other for about a year now, and I can talk about the SLI.

With her he's a bit more emotionally expressive but not a lot, and it only really comes out when pretty much no one else is there, but I've noticed it. He's still very curt and to the point, and his humor consists of dry jokes that more often than not are kind of making fun of her a bit, but it's because he feels secure in their relationship enough to do that - he's only started doing that with me recently, and not nearly as often lol. It's obvious he loves her romantically though because even though a lot of his behavior with his best friends and her will overlap, he used to and still does go above and beyond when it comes to actually, physically attaining or doing something that might help her do what she wants, be that driving her somewhere (he does this ALL the time) or helping her pick stuff out. He's extremely loyal, as Stance previously said, and he did this even after she told him she didn't want a serious relationship (they did get together recently, though).

I always find it funny, though, how me and him are never hesitant to call my friend out on her shit. Everyone else skirts around it. I guess that might be the way Fi is insensitive, my Fe friends tend to want to "set the mood" for a "talking to" lol. Which is like an intervention.

[Sanguine Miasma]

LOL. Is it like XLE's are at your service but do not keep regular contact?

XLI's money talks bs walks and I'm ready for business time investment.

[Sol]

When people like you - they tend to care about you. Mostly they do it by their ego functions and take into account valued.

> How do they act when they 1) like you platonically 2) like you/attracted to you 2) love you ?

There are 3 kinds of attraction: emotional/friendly, mind/respect, sexual passion.
1st may be related to "platonic" term

To love predisposes when all 3 factors exist. Love itself mb described as the feeling of joining with other human - when his mind (thoughts, emotions, sensations), interests become as your own and you both share one life. Love may to have different degrees.

To add about types specifics, besides the above, is that when you tune to other human and want to care - you mostly feel his need in support from his superid functions. If it's your dual - your wishes about ways to care and his wishes fit the most.

[Kiba]

1) I don't think I entertain platonic lovers/romance. And I don't think I've ever liked someone platonically.

2) I ask them out (or try to make them ask me out) if there's mutual interest. If there's no mutual interest I just forget about them or turn the page (in romantic aspect).

3) We should be already in a relationship (for me allowing myself to love someone). I don't think ppl "love" each other by "chance". Love is not just a feeling and you need to invest in it and work on it (true love). Having a crush on someone is different to actually loving someone. In a relationship, I like to spend time together, do activities, buy them things, meals etc.

Am curious because it kinda opposes what i unconsciously expect from a person particularly for SLI- rough in a different way than i expect yet sweet in, again, a different way. vulnerable where i don't expect and insensitive to things i'd think they would be sensitive to etc.

guess it boils down to Fe PoLR vs Fi PoLR affection?

Also, how does emotional neediness differ here?

Opposing values and different suggestive elements. You expect Se Ti but you get instead Si Te. You use Ni Fe but you are instead required to use Ne Fi approach to situations. The reason of you feeling attracted to SLI is mb you observing your seeking function flickering in the background (ID Block on SLI), also Role element could generate attraction from afar.

What do you mean with "emotional neediness"?

[Shazaam]

SLI - If they like you they will do physical things for you and be your obedient introverted goody two shoes slave sorta. they also will share your humanitarian views.

ILI - If they like you they will be mean to somebody you also don't like. (that your SFness is pretending you from really revealing)

[Lord Pixel]

I always feel like when someone asks this question they are sorta asking "How does an Fe PoLR robot show affection." Not sure it's that different from other people since they are actually people and not robots. But yea they are reserved types but when the affection comes out it's nothing unusual, it's just probably not coming out the first minute you meet them, but I think that's most people. I think alot of it comes out in service, doing things for you, trying to make your life easier. And when people are around people they like they will smile when they see them before any words are said, I notice this with ILI and SLI too, but this might be specific IR related.

As far as emotional neediness, I can't speak for SLI, but I was in a relationship with an ILI and the only emotional neediness she seemed to need from me was simply to be silently understood without having to explain herself too much. She mentioned a few times that she liked how she didn't have to say much and still felt understood, also she liked when I took the initiative to physically console her, that also made her feel understood, those were things that stood out to her, the not needing to be ask to be hugged (because it made her feel too vulnerable) and silent understanding.
So in her case it might have been the Fi/Se/Fe.

[Dr PissBender]

SLI - If they like you they will do physical things for you and be your obedient introverted goody two shoes slave sorta. they also will share your humanitarian views.

ILI - If they like you they will be mean to somebody you also don't like. (that your SFness is pretending you from really revealing)

You just described my SLI bestie's attitude with me, holy fuck. I don't want to enslave nobody ofc but they do a lot for me and basically simp for me, i don't complain tho, i love being praised

[Shazaam]

Yeah I went with SLIs I knew IRL not based on any idealistic or therotical mumbo jumbo. Gritonics, it works.

[Dr PissBender]

Yeah I went with SLIs I knew IRL not based on any idealistic or therotical mumbo jumbo. Gritonics, it works.

I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.

[Adam Strange]

I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.

Yes, probably because SLI's are your Duals.

When I first started going with my SLI ex, I was surprised to learn that my friends referred to her (privately) as "The Ice Queen", and "The German Princess".

I will admit, she didn't show a lot of emotion. To me, at the time, that was one of her attractions.

[voider]

I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.

I'm not sure what my relation is called with SLIs but I'm SEE and I pretty much have the same attitude as you in terms of their warmth. It's pretty apparent to me when they care for someone and the SLI know is exactly like that too. It's probably our creative, flexible Fi and not needing anyone to fill up and amp up the emotional atmosphere (demo Fe)

[Dr PissBender]

I'm not sure what my relation is called with SLIs but I'm SEE and I pretty much have the same attitude as you in terms of their warmth. It's pretty apparent to me when they care for someone and the SLI know is exactly like that too. It's probably our creative, flexible Fi and not needing anyone to fill up and amp up the emotional atmosphere (demo Fe)

Yeah, my bestie is the "business woman" type, she's tomboy as fuck too coz she's pretty much the "masculine lesbian" (and her gf fucking hates me coz she's jelly), and idk, she's fucking awesome tho and is really parent-like with me, and that's something I really appreciate(and honestly need).

[lkdhf qkb]

I rarely have trouble seeing what people are feeling, even with Fi Polr who will hide their feelings behind some awkward Fe facade or Ti doms who will be very reserved. But with the Te subtypes of ILI and SLI, I never know what they are feeling. They look so dry. The base subtypes look way more happy(they seem to pretend a lot) or at least content, like a fat bellied cat.

[Sanguine Miasma]

I rarely have trouble seeing what people are feeling, even with Fi Polr who will hide their feelings behind some awkward Fe facade or Ti doms who will be very reserved. But with the Te subtypes of ILI and SLI, I never know what they are feeling. They look so dry. The Si subtypes look way more happy(they seem to pretend a lot) or at least content, like a fat bellied cat.

Do you need to read what ILI's are feeling? I think they are usually offering their mental depressants to everyone around them at a constant rate. I mean it is like they need someone to listen to them several times a day. SEE's are perfect for that. [My SEE sis complains that I never talk share feelings with people. I mean what the f*** SEE's need people to dry cry around them.]

[lkdhf qkb]

Do you need to read what ILI's are feeling? I think they are usually offering their mental depressants to everyone around them at a constant rate. I mean it is like they need someone to listen to them several times a day. SEE's are perfect for that. [My SEE sis complains that I never talk share feelings with people. I mean what the f*** SEE's need people to dry cry around them.]

Yea well both Fe Polr use emotionality but as a way to cover up their Fi; ILIs are negativist, they can easily revert to "shit's fucked, life sucks shit" mentality but that's just some kind of superficial affect (I think they are well belanced by SEE in that regard, bc they often have some sort of jolly side to them). SLI does it by being positivist "wow so tasty food I had... everything's fine in my life man.... everything... no yea my gf cheated on me but that's also a positive experience for us, non-exclusivity.... *most forced smile ever* "

I need to read them because Fi looks for what people "really feel", looking for what's static about their feelings, it's a bit like Ti. For example when I'm pissed I say weird stuff and my ILE sister always says "Come on, I know you don't really think that", and I'm like "uhhhh.... shit you're right I was just being emotional".

[Sanguine Miasma]

Yea well both Fe Polr use emotionality but as a way to cover up their Fi; ILIs are negativist, they can easily revert to "shit's fucked, life sucks shit" mentality but that's just some kind of superficial affect (I think they are well belanced by SEE in that regard, bc they often have some sort of jolly side to them).

Well, ILI's tend to be conflicted in their representation. It is kind of obvious and it is just hard to be around it all the time so I just stare into eternity. Sometimes they seem to back off pretty quickly when they see my face. I don't hide stuff, apparently [I have gotten pretty extreme responses... "no, I'm not gonna hang myself because I just vomited"]. I'd be a very bad poker player.

[lkdhf qkb]

Well, ILI's tend to be conflicted in their representation. It is kind of obvious and it is just hard to be around it all the time so I just stare into eternity. Sometimes they seem to back off pretty quickly when they see my face. I don't hide stuff, apparently [I have gotten pretty extreme responses... "no, I'm not gonna hang myself because I just vomited"]. I'd be a very bad poker player.

Funny, that conflicted representation thing doesn't bother me at all, I find it cute actually and makes me want to care for them; unless it gets into dark creepy mode. The 'extreme responses' you get seems to have more to do with their Se, and that's something I don't really like either, but I'm sure SEEs appreciate that spice. The thing with being an adjacent quadra is that I kinda get both alphas and gammas, so it's easy to be caught in the middle.