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Thread: ILI/SLI affection

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    Default ILI/SLI affection

    How do they act when they 1) like you platonically 2) like you/attracted to you 2) love you ?

    Am curious because it kinda opposes what i unconsciously expect from a person
    particularly for SLI- rough in a different way than i expect yet sweet in, again, a different way. vulnerable where i don't expect and insensitive to things i'd think they would be sensitive to etc.

    guess it boils down to Fe PoLR vs Fi PoLR affection?

    Also, how does emotional neediness differ here?
    Last edited by chocolatte; 09-12-2020 at 05:28 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    How do they act when they 1) like you platonically 2) like you/attracted to you 2) love you ?

    Am curious because it kinda opposes what i unconsciously expect from a person
    particularly for SLI- rough in a different way than i expect yet sweet in, again, a different way. vulnerable where i don't expect and insensitive to things i'd think they would be sensitive to etc.

    guess it boils down to Fe PoLR vs Fi PoLR affection?

    Also, how does emotional neediness differ here?
    From the SLI and ILI I am close to, they will go out of their way to put you on their calendar.

    Platonically:

    The ILI and I have a biweekly 2 hour phone call and he actually makes a point to respond back to me because he knows that makes me feel valued.

    The SLI is more consistent in the back and forth of texts. Both will use emojis on occasion to avoid ambiguity of expression.

    Romantically:
    they both seem to be incredibly loyal and consistent with whoever they are involved with. Both tend to overanalyze and then avoid uncomfortable emotions. For people they care about, they both try to come up with pragmatic solutions to problems in lieu of effusive displays of affection.

    The ILI is overall more open-ended in exploring ideas and perspectives while the SLI is more grounded in reality and black and white.


    Attraction:
    Highly observant/watchful of the object of their desire, will tend to remember conversations verbatim, mentally taking notes, seems like they are scouting out the most opportune/effective way to interact but can run the risk of perpetually stalling because of inertia.. E8s would probably be more assertive though.
    Last edited by SojournInLimbo; 09-12-2020 at 07:12 AM.

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    Well, I don't know about ILIs, but I've been observing my IEE and SLI friends skirting around each other for about a year now, and I can talk about the SLI.

    With her he's a bit more emotionally expressive but not a lot, and it only really comes out when pretty much no one else is there, but I've noticed it. He's still very curt and to the point, and his humor consists of dry jokes that more often than not are kind of making fun of her a bit, but it's because he feels secure in their relationship enough to do that - he's only started doing that with me recently, and not nearly as often lol. It's obvious he loves her romantically though because even though a lot of his behavior with his best friends and her will overlap, he used to and still does go above and beyond when it comes to actually, physically attaining or doing something that might help her do what she wants, be that driving her somewhere (he does this ALL the time) or helping her pick stuff out. He's extremely loyal, as Stance previously said, and he did this even after she told him she didn't want a serious relationship (they did get together recently, though).

    I always find it funny, though, how me and him are never hesitant to call my friend out on her shit. Everyone else skirts around it. I guess that might be the way Fi is insensitive, my Fe friends tend to want to "set the mood" for a "talking to" lol. Which is like an intervention.

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    LOL. Is it like XLE's are at your service but do not keep regular contact?

    XLI's money talks bs walks and I'm ready for business time investment.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type

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    When people like you - they tend to care about you. Mostly they do it by their ego functions and take into account valued.

    > How do they act when they 1) like you platonically 2) like you/attracted to you 2) love you ?

    There are 3 kinds of attraction: emotional/friendly, mind/respect, sexual passion.
    1st may be related to "platonic" term

    To love predisposes when all 3 factors exist. Love itself mb described as the feeling of joining with other human - when his mind (thoughts, emotions, sensations), interests become as your own and you both share one life. Love may to have different degrees.

    To add about types specifics, besides the above, is that when you tune to other human and want to care - you mostly feel his need in support from his superid functions. If it's your dual - your wishes about ways to care and his wishes fit the most.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Cryogenic Sleep: Goodbye! Tommy's Avatar
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    1) I don't think I entertain platonic lovers/romance. And I don't think I've ever liked someone platonically.

    2) I ask them out (or try to make them ask me out) if there's mutual interest. If there's no mutual interest I just forget about them or turn the page (in romantic aspect).

    3) We should be already in a relationship (for me allowing myself to love someone). I don't think ppl "love" each other by "chance". Love is not just a feeling and you need to invest in it and work on it (true love). Having a crush on someone is different to actually loving someone. In a relationship, I like to spend time together, do activities, buy them things, meals etc.

    Am curious because it kinda opposes what i unconsciously expect from a person particularly for SLI- rough in a different way than i expect yet sweet in, again, a different way. vulnerable where i don't expect and insensitive to things i'd think they would be sensitive to etc.

    guess it boils down to Fe PoLR vs Fi PoLR affection?

    Also, how does emotional neediness differ here?
    Opposing values and different suggestive elements. You expect Se Ti but you get instead Si Te. You use Ni Fe but you are instead required to use Ne Fi approach to situations. The reason of you feeling attracted to SLI is mb you observing your seeking function flickering in the background (ID Block on SLI), also Role element could generate attraction from afar.

    What do you mean with "emotional neediness"?
    Last edited by Tommy; 09-12-2020 at 07:35 PM.

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    SLI - If they like you they will do physical things for you and be your obedient introverted goody two shoes slave sorta. they also will share your humanitarian views.

    ILI - If they like you they will be mean to somebody you also don't like. (that your SFness is pretending you from really revealing)

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    I always feel like when someone asks this question they are sorta asking "How does an Fe PoLR robot show affection." Not sure it's that different from other people since they are actually people and not robots. But yea they are reserved types but when the affection comes out it's nothing unusual, it's just probably not coming out the first minute you meet them, but I think that's most people. I think alot of it comes out in service, doing things for you, trying to make your life easier. And when people are around people they like they will smile when they see them before any words are said, I notice this with ILI and SLI too, but this might be specific IR related.

    As far as emotional neediness, I can't speak for SLI, but I was in a relationship with an ILI and the only emotional neediness she seemed to need from me was simply to be silently understood without having to explain herself too much. She mentioned a few times that she liked how she didn't have to say much and still felt understood, also she liked when I took the initiative to physically console her, that also made her feel understood, those were things that stood out to her, the not needing to be ask to be hugged (because it made her feel too vulnerable) and silent understanding.
    So in her case it might have been the Fi/Se/Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    SLI - If they like you they will do physical things for you and be your obedient introverted goody two shoes slave sorta. they also will share your humanitarian views.

    ILI - If they like you they will be mean to somebody you also don't like. (that your SFness is pretending you from really revealing)
    You just described my SLI bestie's attitude with me, holy fuck. I don't want to enslave nobody ofc but they do a lot for me and basically simp for me, i don't complain tho, i love being praised
    I fuck whoever makes me hard

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    Yeah I went with SLIs I knew IRL not based on any idealistic or therotical mumbo jumbo. Gritonics, it works.

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    Aaron Something's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    Yeah I went with SLIs I knew IRL not based on any idealistic or therotical mumbo jumbo. Gritonics, it works.
    I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.
    I fuck whoever makes me hard

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.
    Yes, probably because SLI's are your Duals.

    When I first started going with my SLI ex, I was surprised to learn that my friends referred to her (privately) as "The Ice Queen", and "The German Princess".

    I will admit, she didn't show a lot of emotion. To me, at the time, that was one of her attractions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    I can tell you did, coz the ones I know in real life are exactly like this. They're not how people in internet describe them, tbfh, not at all. I find them warm in fact. Probably because i'm their dual but whatever.
    I'm not sure what my relation is called with SLIs but I'm SEE and I pretty much have the same attitude as you in terms of their warmth. It's pretty apparent to me when they care for someone and the SLI know is exactly like that too. It's probably our creative, flexible Fi and not needing anyone to fill up and amp up the emotional atmosphere (demo Fe)

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    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    I'm not sure what my relation is called with SLIs but I'm SEE and I pretty much have the same attitude as you in terms of their warmth. It's pretty apparent to me when they care for someone and the SLI know is exactly like that too. It's probably our creative, flexible Fi and not needing anyone to fill up and amp up the emotional atmosphere (demo Fe)
    Yeah, my bestie is the "business woman" type, she's tomboy as fuck too coz she's pretty much the "masculine lesbian" (and her gf fucking hates me coz she's jelly), and idk, she's fucking awesome tho and is really parent-like with me, and that's something I really appreciate(and honestly need).
    I fuck whoever makes me hard

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