Results 1 to 27 of 27

Thread: Activity partners mutually fascinating to each other

  1. #1
    I'm not hungry mommy bear BrainlessSquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Where North meets South
    TIM
    IEE-Fi
    Posts
    1,300
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Activity partners mutually fascinating

    According to theory, activators should find each other fascinating due to suggestion on the 5th channel (just as duals, semi-duals and benefactors?), at least once they know each other relatively well.
    Does this happen in your observation?
    Last edited by BrainlessSquid; 09-06-2020 at 02:03 PM.
    Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
    Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
    Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
    Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
    Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    15,766
    Mentioned
    1404 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Fascinating" is not so appropriate term. It's more for Ti types and Fe supplementing types which may give such emotional associations.
    Good IR gives higher than average personal sympathy. Also emotional comfort (mb more of Te types associations) and cooperation possibility. Unlike duals, activators have 2 dichotomies which are worse.

    > Does this happen in your observation?

    Generally, those were perceived as easy and not bad people.

  3. #3
    I'm not hungry mommy bear BrainlessSquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Where North meets South
    TIM
    IEE-Fi
    Posts
    1,300
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    "Fascinating" is not so appropriate term. It's more for Ti types and Fe supplementing types which may give such emotional associations.
    Good IR gives higher than average personal sympathy. Also emotional comfort (mb more of Te types associations) and cooperation possibility. Unlike duals, activators have 2 dichotomies which are worse.

    > Does this happen in your observation?

    Generally, those were perceived as easy and not bad people.
    Choosing appropriate term is Ti too, isn't it?
    Sometimes you don't have motivation because you lack purpose.
    Sometimes you don't have purpose, because you lack self-knowledge
    Sometimes you don't have self-knowledge because you lack love
    Sometimes you don't have love because you lack self-love
    Sometimes you don't have self-love because you lack guess what? Ask Gulenko!!

  4. #4
    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    The evolved form of Warm Soapy Water
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    14,902
    Mentioned
    661 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Idk about fascinating, it's more of this mutual rousing energy. Irl more subdued maybe, but I realized my activators were easy to share things with. Like they were easy for me to talk to, and share some of my weaknesses with them. I've noticed we both tend to not be fond of arrogant or condescending people- so that helped connect us more. They had better cognitive than affective empathy though usually, (but seemed touched and softened by my affective empathy, one person told me that I was the only person that ever made a istj female cry before (in the good way) and she was usually such a tough and hardened bitch) and also would point out thinking errors in me that I didn't know I really had to 'correct' the situation. But the thing is, they only really gave me this type of input until after I asked, it was respectful.

    I even had crushes on a few of them, but I don't think much of it- because I'm a very loving person generally, and I can get embarrassing crushes on staplers lol. So I don't read too much into it at the time- and it doesn't feel long-lasting anyway. Sometimes though there's this moment of mutual lust where we just felt like we wanted to rip each other's clothes off and devour each other passionately- but we never really talked about it - as both are introverts so it was too weird/awkward to get that started. I wouldn't even really call it 'fascinating' it was more primal/physical than that? Unless you're (general you) so devoid of life you think any physical stimulation is 'fascinating' which sadly might be a real problem with a generation of people raised on the internet too much.

  5. #5
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    TIM
    LII-Ne
    Posts
    5,701
    Mentioned
    524 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    "Fascinating" not particularly. They're fun to talk to though, and good company.

  6. #6
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    TIM
    EII typed by Gulenko
    Posts
    4,671
    Mentioned
    339 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Energizing and *generally* having mutual values and understanding of things / more ability to empathize would be a good description of it.

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Inferno 13th floor
    TIM
    IEE-Ne cp684 sx/sp
    Posts
    709
    Mentioned
    53 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The relationship gets better the more you know each other. From far away LSEs are a bit intimidating, but I like to see them work and move, it's fascinating how they can manage so many tasks while keeping a cool head.

    I've often had beefs with LSE males though, so that I avoid those that seem to be unable to think by themselves. In most patriarchal societies, like the western civilization, TeSi and TiSe males are seen as the norm (while SiTe are the "lazybones" and SeTi the "hotheads") so that a large minority of them are immature and sometimes borderline abusive, treating other people like shit but expecting to be treated like kings. Having been confirmed as being "normal" and "correct" all their life, some of them are like "beh feelings are for pussies, why would I need to work on empathy? hazing and hating is so fun!" or "my stupidly limited worldview is the truth, why would I need to have an open mind about gay people/politics/religion/whatever?". So no, not so fascinating to me. At least not systematically.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,116
    Mentioned
    108 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    I even had crushes on a few of them, but I don't think much of it- because I'm a very loving person generally, and I can get embarrassing crushes on staplers lol.
    I love you

  9. #9
    💩 Nobody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    TIM
    POOP™
    Posts
    439
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    If I'm LII, I've actually had lots of problems with SEI and ESE that doesn't match the rosy picture of the descriptions. We might value the same things, but we're very different on the focus of those values and their depth. I think for these relations to work well, both types have to be psychologically mature.

  10. #10
    fka mrrrmaid SaveYourself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Lake Lachrymose
    Posts
    354
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I find I have more fire and chemistry with my activity than my dual. Almost to the point where when I'm with an activity partner I'm like, "dual who?"

    But there's a lack of balance and harmony and lack of really completing each other ime so it's no substitute. I'm good friends with an activity guy and I always ask him for dating tips because I know he'll think along similar lines to my dual
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,335
    Mentioned
    64 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think in this IR the types can wear each other out. Everytime I'm around SLI it's a great time but I feel like I always have to be interesting via Ne, like say something unusual/witty/funny "different" to keep the good vibes going, and they probably feel like they always have to be giving me good advice or telling me how to get something done to keep the good vibes going. I know I feel a little pressured and exhausted in the Ne area, but overall SLI is my no.1 favorite type to be around. When they see me they crack a big smile like they are waiting to see the Ne show lol. And when I see them I can just feel my shoulders relax.

  12. #12
    Smilex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Activity partnerships amplify both the bad and the good in you. Properly managed they're much better than dual relationships but they have more potential for spectacular crashes. Dual relationships balance you out, mute you. Activity relationships draw you to extremes.

  13. #13
    Haikus Dr PissBender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    TIM
    IEE-Ne 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    1,196
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    The relationship gets better the more you know each other. From far away LSEs are a bit intimidating, but I like to see them work and move, it's fascinating how they can manage so many tasks while keeping a cool head.

    I've often had beefs with LSE males though, so that I avoid those that seem to be unable to think by themselves. In most patriarchal societies, like the western civilization, TeSi and TiSe males are seen as the norm (while SiTe are the "lazybones" and SeTi the "hotheads") so that a large minority of them are immature and sometimes borderline abusive, treating other people like shit but expecting to be treated like kings. Having been confirmed as being "normal" and "correct" all their life, some of them are like "beh feelings are for pussies, why would I need to work on empathy? hazing and hating is so fun!" or "my stupidly limited worldview is the truth, why would I need to have an open mind about gay people/politics/religion/whatever?". So no, not so fascinating to me. At least not systematically.
    I get ya somewhat. I have a male LSE friend who's a really cool and nice guy, but other I know is kinda retarded and orc-like and a complete delusional moron.

  14. #14
    Haikus Dr PissBender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    TIM
    IEE-Ne 7w8 Sx/Sp
    Posts
    1,196
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Tbh I get more joy out of my semi-dual best friend, and my duals. But some LSE's are ok. It's just hard to find healthy ones, they're too pampered by society because they're often idealized by the norm, that way they're just not their own men/women, they're automatons.

  15. #15
    Smilex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The real meat of dual temperament relationships is in the semi-dual and illusionary aspects. Those are the relations that have good things to offer. The benefits come in that a dual has a wider range of activities that seem supportive, understandable and functional. It's just the very core of duality itself which is deeply dysfunctional.

    In activity partnerships all the good things are focused more narrowly, more pointedly as are the bad things. And between them is a lot of uncertainty.

  16. #16
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    26,935
    Mentioned
    699 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    I love both but love duality so much more since my duals talk what is happening for instance my husband explained what the referees in a football game are doing when they throw a flag and what they should be doing instead to make a game fair while an ISTP like my ex doesn’t but we ultimately relax more and focus on internal self more. So I have no one to listen to that talks in my activity relationships. ISTP and ESTJ are both very comfortable for me in bed I think that’s super important to me since I have dated Beta ST and I don’t like the intensity in bed at all.

    ISTP do like my Ne (ideas) and they take off with whatever idea I’d find most likely to succeed and ESTJ certainly do take more time to work the idea out realistically but they do like how I figure out their hidden talents
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 09-14-2020 at 03:44 AM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  17. #17
    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    EIE-C-Ni ™
    Posts
    8,235
    Mentioned
    335 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I really start to miss the nihilistic who cares attitude of XXXp pretty soon. Ej's are not like that because their jumping to conclusions is way too frequent for my own taste. It lacks parallel handling of issues as well (what some might call tangents).
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

    Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org

  18. #18
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,929
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Finding others fascinating has little to do with type; it has more to do with each other's background, education, experiences, social position, successes, and most often, sexual attraction. One may also be fascinated somewhat by cognitive dissonance (strangeness) but in the long run, people prefer those who are going in the same direction. Activity partners seem to communicate well but rarely have the same priorities so any fascination would likely be rather fleeting.

    a.k.a. I/O

  19. #19
    Smilex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Finding others fascinating has little to do with type; it has more to do with each other's background, education, experiences, social position, successes, and most often, sexual attraction. One may also be fascinated somewhat by cognitive dissonance (strangeness) but in the long run, people prefer those who are going in the same direction. Activity partners seem to communicate well but rarely have the same priorities so any fascination would likely be rather fleeting.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Irony here is that you're describing duality partners.

  20. #20

    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    2,116
    Mentioned
    108 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Activity partnerships amplify both the bad and the good in you. Properly managed they're much better than dual relationships but they have more potential for spectacular crashes. Dual relationships balance you out, mute you. Activity relationships draw you to extremes.
    i dunno...do duals mute you? I feel like they bring out so much of who I am...allow me space to be nanashi. I feel kinda unheard and like a caricature in activity relationships, as thought i'm a tad annoyed at how exaggerated and loud ONLY PARTS of me are

  21. #21
    Smilex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    i dunno...do duals mute you? I feel like they bring out so much of who I am...allow me space to be nanashi. I feel kinda unheard and like a caricature in activity relationships, as thought i'm a tad annoyed at how exaggerated and loud ONLY PARTS of me are
    I get what you're saying. Activity partnerships have 'more of a stake' in the exact workings of the relationship. There's a constant push to 'get to the good parts'. Which is of course beneficial for both partners, but also makes one feel uncertain of if the other is willing to accept your negatives. Which is of course the opposite of duals that thrive on your negatives. Duals accentuate only parts of you as well though. It's just a different part.

    There's several lessons that activity partners need to learn to make the relationship better. Activity partners need to learn that they're in the same boat and when the other is feeling bad, it makes the other feel bad, and this is not the fault of either partner. It just means that the partners need to toughen up and deal with the issues that are the cause instead of creating taboos around the real source of anxiety.

  22. #22
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,929
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Irony here is that you're describing duality partners.
    Sometimes. The big difference between duality and activity partners is that the former is much more likely to be headed in the same direction and have similar goals although these wouldn't constitute a slam-dunk; one is more likely to look to the other for support when on the same road. Duality has a higher probability for a long-lasting, productive (pulling on the same oar) relationship but I have known more than a few individuals (including myself) who couldn't tolerate certain duals; there are things about them that can be absolutely off-putting and irritating. Duality doesn't come with a guarantee of success and it's certainly not a necessity but it could produce a ideally balanced relationship if the other, often more important aspects also align.

    a.k.a. I/O

  23. #23
    Smilex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    24 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Sometimes. The big difference between duality and activity partners is that the former is much more likely to be headed in the same direction and have similar goals although these wouldn't constitute a slam-dunk; one is more likely to look to the other for support when on the same road. Duality has a higher probability for a long-lasting, productive (pulling on the same oar) relationship but I have known more than a few individuals (including myself) who couldn't tolerate certain duals; there are things about them that can be absolutely off-putting and irritating. Duality doesn't come with a guarantee of success and it's certainly not a necessity but it could produce a ideally balanced relationship if the other, often more important aspects also align.

    a.k.a. I/O
    That's quite well put. Thank you for this good message.

  24. #24
    Restricted user
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    Deutschland
    TIM
    SLI-Si 6w5 613 sp/so
    Posts
    2,522
    Mentioned
    108 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Like others have said, not fascination but compatibility. I get along with them amazingly well.

  25. #25
    Deductive Logic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    TIM
    EIE-Ni
    Posts
    28
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I have an LSI-Ti best friend, and as an IEI-Fe, we're probably the closest thing to being duals with one another without being duals. I think that introvert dynamics are TOTALLY different than extrovert dynamics - the extroverted activity partners I see are essentially like moths to a flame - so much chemistry and passion, but you get burned, whereas with two introverted activity partners, it's very stable, but it can be kind of boring. It's funny, because even after 4 years with my LSI best friend, I still find that I have more chemistry with a dual I've met almost instantly than with him, but he knows me so well and I know him so well that we act like a dual couple at many points.

    There's also this weird "semi-dualization" going on, where I do all the / planning and socializing for the two of us in a group, and he does all the / heavy lifting in regards to getting me to do stuff and pushing me in the right logical direction, but it's always less than we need (I complain about him not pushing me enough, he complains that my presence isn't "bubbly" enough), but at the same time, it's fantastically stable and also would definitely make the foundations for a good relationship or marriage - the only thing is that the activity partner needs to modify their behavior and responses to mimic their dual a little more (but it's, of course, not as natural as any instance of duality).

  26. #26
    Rusal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    87 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Fascination sounds like finding a trait that is a tad exotic but still attractive.

    Where do you find something you value but it’s still foreign in a way that rubs you the right way in activation? In the less compatible subtype. The more compatible one, unless exceptional, is much more likley to go under the radar at first.

    In my experience.
    Sicuramente cercherai il significato di questo.

  27. #27
    I don't play, I slay. Lolita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Location
    Near Whole Foods
    TIM
    SEE-N™ WPEL™ 863
    Posts
    1,146
    Mentioned
    85 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    EIEs tend to like me and think I’m just the bee’s knees upon sight, but I don’t know why. I try to get them to go out more to try new things and go to new places but they prefer to have 1 on 1 time with me like order takeout or delivery and talk at “home” or they spend a lot of time with their family. Going to any restaurant with them is a feat. I’m not fascinated by anyone so that word doesn’t resonate but it’s easy for me to talk to them.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •