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Thread: Activity partners mutually fascinating to each other

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    Default Activity partners mutually fascinating

    According to theory, activators should find each other fascinating due to suggestion on the 5th channel (just as duals, semi-duals and benefactors?), at least once they know each other relatively well.
    Does this happen in your observation?
    Last edited by Megatrop; 09-06-2020 at 02:03 PM.
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    "Fascinating" is not so appropriate term. It's more for Ti types and Fe supplementing types which may give such emotional associations.
    Good IR gives higher than average personal sympathy. Also emotional comfort (mb more of Te types associations) and cooperation possibility. Unlike duals, activators have 2 dichotomies which are worse.

    > Does this happen in your observation?

    Generally, those were perceived as easy and not bad people.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    "Fascinating" is not so appropriate term. It's more for Ti types and Fe supplementing types which may give such emotional associations.
    Good IR gives higher than average personal sympathy. Also emotional comfort (mb more of Te types associations) and cooperation possibility. Unlike duals, activators have 2 dichotomies which are worse.

    > Does this happen in your observation?

    Generally, those were perceived as easy and not bad people.
    Choosing appropriate term is Ti too, isn't it?
    hi

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    Idk about fascinating, it's more of this mutual rousing energy. Irl more subdued maybe, but I realized my activators were easy to share things with. Like they were easy for me to talk to, and share some of my weaknesses with them. I've noticed we both tend to not be fond of arrogant or condescending people- so that helped connect us more. They had better cognitive than affective empathy though usually, (but seemed touched and softened by my affective empathy, one person told me that I was the only person that ever made a istj female cry before (in the good way) and she was usually such a tough and hardened bitch) and also would point out thinking errors in me that I didn't know I really had to 'correct' the situation. But the thing is, they only really gave me this type of input until after I asked, it was respectful.

    I even had crushes on a few of them, but I don't think much of it- because I'm a very loving person generally, and I can get embarrassing crushes on staplers lol. So I don't read too much into it at the time- and it doesn't feel long-lasting anyway. Sometimes though there's this moment of mutual lust where we just felt like we wanted to rip each other's clothes off and devour each other passionately- but we never really talked about it - as both are introverts so it was too weird/awkward to get that started. I wouldn't even really call it 'fascinating' it was more primal/physical than that? Unless you're (general you) so devoid of life you think any physical stimulation is 'fascinating' which sadly might be a real problem with a generation of people raised on the internet too much.

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    "Fascinating" not particularly. They're fun to talk to though, and good company.
    Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. - Cervantes

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    Energizing and *generally* having mutual values and understanding of things / more ability to empathize would be a good description of it.

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    The relationship gets better the more you know each other. From far away LSEs are a bit intimidating, but I like to see them work and move, it's fascinating how they can manage so many tasks while keeping a cool head.

    I've often had beefs with LSE males though, so that I avoid those that seem to be unable to think by themselves. In most patriarchal societies, like the western civilization, TeSi and TiSe males are seen as the norm (while SiTe are the "lazybones" and SeTi the "hotheads") so that a large minority of them are immature and sometimes borderline abusive, treating other people like shit but expecting to be treated like kings. Having been confirmed as being "normal" and "correct" all their life, some of them are like "beh feelings are for pussies, why would I need to work on empathy? hazing and hating is so fun!" or "my stupidly limited worldview is the truth, why would I need to have an open mind about gay people/politics/religion/whatever?". So no, not so fascinating to me. At least not systematically.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    I even had crushes on a few of them, but I don't think much of it- because I'm a very loving person generally, and I can get embarrassing crushes on staplers lol.
    I love you
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    If I'm LII, I've actually had lots of problems with SEI and ESE that doesn't match the rosy picture of the descriptions. We might value the same things, but we're very different on the focus of those values and their depth. I think for these relations to work well, both types have to be psychologically mature.

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    I find I have more fire and chemistry with my activity than my dual. Almost to the point where when I'm with an activity partner I'm like, "dual who?"

    But there's a lack of balance and harmony and lack of really completing each other ime so it's no substitute. I'm good friends with an activity guy and I always ask him for dating tips because I know he'll think along similar lines to my dual
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    I think in this IR the types can wear each other out. Everytime I'm around SLI it's a great time but I feel like I always have to be interesting via Ne, like say something unusual/witty/funny "different" to keep the good vibes going, and they probably feel like they always have to be giving me good advice or telling me how to get something done to keep the good vibes going. I know I feel a little pressured and exhausted in the Ne area, but overall SLI is my no.1 favorite type to be around. When they see me they crack a big smile like they are waiting to see the Ne show lol. And when I see them I can just feel my shoulders relax.

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    Activity partnerships amplify both the bad and the good in you. Properly managed they're much better than dual relationships but they have more potential for spectacular crashes. Dual relationships balance you out, mute you. Activity relationships draw you to extremes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    The relationship gets better the more you know each other. From far away LSEs are a bit intimidating, but I like to see them work and move, it's fascinating how they can manage so many tasks while keeping a cool head.

    I've often had beefs with LSE males though, so that I avoid those that seem to be unable to think by themselves. In most patriarchal societies, like the western civilization, TeSi and TiSe males are seen as the norm (while SiTe are the "lazybones" and SeTi the "hotheads") so that a large minority of them are immature and sometimes borderline abusive, treating other people like shit but expecting to be treated like kings. Having been confirmed as being "normal" and "correct" all their life, some of them are like "beh feelings are for pussies, why would I need to work on empathy? hazing and hating is so fun!" or "my stupidly limited worldview is the truth, why would I need to have an open mind about gay people/politics/religion/whatever?". So no, not so fascinating to me. At least not systematically.
    I get ya somewhat. I have a male LSE friend who's a really cool and nice guy, but other I know is kinda retarded and orc-like and a complete delusional moron.
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    Tbh I get more joy out of my semi-dual best friend, and my duals. But some LSE's are ok. It's just hard to find healthy ones, they're too pampered by society because they're often idealized by the norm, that way they're just not their own men/women, they're automatons.
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    The real meat of dual temperament relationships is in the semi-dual and illusionary aspects. Those are the relations that have good things to offer. The benefits come in that a dual has a wider range of activities that seem supportive, understandable and functional. It's just the very core of duality itself which is deeply dysfunctional.

    In activity partnerships all the good things are focused more narrowly, more pointedly as are the bad things. And between them is a lot of uncertainty.

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    I love both but love duality so much more since my duals talk what is happening for instance my husband explained what the referees in a football game are doing when they throw a flag and what they should be doing instead to make a game fair while an ISTP like my ex doesn’t but we ultimately relax more and focus on internal self more. So I have no one to listen to that talks in my activity relationships. ISTP and ESTJ are both very comfortable for me in bed I think that’s super important to me since I have dated Beta ST and I don’t like the intensity in bed at all.

    ISTP do like my Ne (ideas) and they take off with whatever idea I’d find most likely to succeed and ESTJ certainly do take more time to work the idea out realistically but they do like how I figure out their hidden talents
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 09-14-2020 at 03:44 AM.
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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    I really start to miss the nihilistic who cares attitude of XXXp pretty soon. Ej's are not like that because their jumping to conclusions is way too frequent for my own taste. It lacks parallel handling of issues as well (what some might call tangents).
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    Finding others fascinating has little to do with type; it has more to do with each other's background, education, experiences, social position, successes, and most often, sexual attraction. One may also be fascinated somewhat by cognitive dissonance (strangeness) but in the long run, people prefer those who are going in the same direction. Activity partners seem to communicate well but rarely have the same priorities so any fascination would likely be rather fleeting.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Finding others fascinating has little to do with type; it has more to do with each other's background, education, experiences, social position, successes, and most often, sexual attraction. One may also be fascinated somewhat by cognitive dissonance (strangeness) but in the long run, people prefer those who are going in the same direction. Activity partners seem to communicate well but rarely have the same priorities so any fascination would likely be rather fleeting.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Irony here is that you're describing duality partners.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Activity partnerships amplify both the bad and the good in you. Properly managed they're much better than dual relationships but they have more potential for spectacular crashes. Dual relationships balance you out, mute you. Activity relationships draw you to extremes.
    i dunno...do duals mute you? I feel like they bring out so much of who I am...allow me space to be nanashi. I feel kinda unheard and like a caricature in activity relationships, as thought i'm a tad annoyed at how exaggerated and loud ONLY PARTS of me are
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    i dunno...do duals mute you? I feel like they bring out so much of who I am...allow me space to be nanashi. I feel kinda unheard and like a caricature in activity relationships, as thought i'm a tad annoyed at how exaggerated and loud ONLY PARTS of me are
    I get what you're saying. Activity partnerships have 'more of a stake' in the exact workings of the relationship. There's a constant push to 'get to the good parts'. Which is of course beneficial for both partners, but also makes one feel uncertain of if the other is willing to accept your negatives. Which is of course the opposite of duals that thrive on your negatives. Duals accentuate only parts of you as well though. It's just a different part.

    There's several lessons that activity partners need to learn to make the relationship better. Activity partners need to learn that they're in the same boat and when the other is feeling bad, it makes the other feel bad, and this is not the fault of either partner. It just means that the partners need to toughen up and deal with the issues that are the cause instead of creating taboos around the real source of anxiety.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilex View Post
    Irony here is that you're describing duality partners.
    Sometimes. The big difference between duality and activity partners is that the former is much more likely to be headed in the same direction and have similar goals although these wouldn't constitute a slam-dunk; one is more likely to look to the other for support when on the same road. Duality has a higher probability for a long-lasting, productive (pulling on the same oar) relationship but I have known more than a few individuals (including myself) who couldn't tolerate certain duals; there are things about them that can be absolutely off-putting and irritating. Duality doesn't come with a guarantee of success and it's certainly not a necessity but it could produce a ideally balanced relationship if the other, often more important aspects also align.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Sometimes. The big difference between duality and activity partners is that the former is much more likely to be headed in the same direction and have similar goals although these wouldn't constitute a slam-dunk; one is more likely to look to the other for support when on the same road. Duality has a higher probability for a long-lasting, productive (pulling on the same oar) relationship but I have known more than a few individuals (including myself) who couldn't tolerate certain duals; there are things about them that can be absolutely off-putting and irritating. Duality doesn't come with a guarantee of success and it's certainly not a necessity but it could produce a ideally balanced relationship if the other, often more important aspects also align.

    a.k.a. I/O
    That's quite well put. Thank you for this good message.

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