post sx-last experiences

[persimmonism]

pls describe your experience of being sx-last.
how often do you feel a genuine pull towards an individual? do you wish you did more often? do you have trouble connecting with people? do you fear you are boring? do you often withdraw from people who are very intense? and any other questions you wish to answer~

[persimmonism]

bump

[Bethany]

I’m not sx last but I could very well end up dating someone sp/so. The so/sp and sp/so people I know seem to have a romantic streak in them (I know everyone does) but I have heard them make statements about their relationships which sound like something from a child’s fairy tale or something from a movie.. They seem
to say things which make it sound like they view themselves as deeply romantic but to me it sounds a bit ‘idealised’ or serious and not as passionate as I would want a relationship to be. Maybe it’s just the words they use..not a lack of passion, but a lack of intense description? Maybe they would think my descriptions of romance were ‘lacking’..

I also read somewhere that we have a shadow side to our stack (so/sx goes to sp/sx, sp/so goes to sx/so and so on..) so maybe we can resemble those stacks (in our relationships) sometimes too?


Just thinking aloud, would love to hear more opinions. I need all the advice I can get myself lol.


Also maybe there are some so/ sp or sp/so who have more sx in them (maybe Betas..?)

And also maybe the contrast of sp/so and so/sx could actually be quite nice..a combo of romantic and passion?

I know a couple who are sx/so and so/sp (pretty sure..) and they have amazing chemistry from what I see

and I’m now just remembering an infj sp/so 4 friend who was obsessive about her partner..maybe in a selfish way though? It was a benefit relationship so hard to comment. My own relationship with this infj was certainly interesting and we did have quite a deep connection so I suppose there is that!

more thoughts!

[Jarno]

pls describe your experience of being sx-last.
how often do you feel a genuine pull towards an individual? do you wish you did more often? do you have trouble connecting with people? do you fear you are boring? do you often withdraw from people who are very intense? and any other questions you wish to answer~

I can answer this a bit because good friends are sx last. They have difficulty connecting and are very slow in progressing a relationship.
They do feel genuine pulls towards individual.
I have not heard them being scared to being boring, actually they have enough humor. They are rather grounded and slow/deliberte, so not immersive.
They don't mind intense people, however when it comes to intercourse they find it too much sometimes.
I think they just end up a bit in the background when sx/so or so/sx is in the room. They are somewhat wallflowers.

What i did notice as an sx/so that the sp/so and so/sp are too conservative. They don't flirt. They don't provoke. They don't adapt to the other. This all works against them.

[Jarno]

I’m ....thoughts!

The sp/so will look up to the so/sx. (sort of supervision relationship, but not in a bad way)

Shadow side seems wrong to me, but i have read about subtypes of instincts, for example the sx/so can be fire or cool based on sx stronger or so stronger. And i have noticed these two variants of the sx/so, however this is so far in detail that it has almost no effect.

i have been in a sx/so and so/sp relationship uhm twice, and it works very good, but every same flow relationship is good. Just a bit supervision. So/sp supervises sx/so.
Personally i don't like to be supervised, the good thing is you admire the person more.

[Aria]

The sp/so will look up to the so/sx. (sort of supervision relationship, but not in a bad way)

Shadow side seems wrong to me, but i have read about subtypes of instincts, for example the sx/so can be fire or cool based on sx stronger or so stronger. And i have noticed these two variants of the sx/so, however this is so far in detail that it has almost no effect.

i have been in a sx/so and so/sp relationship uhm twice, and it works very good, but every same flow relationship is good. Just a bit supervision. So/sp supervises sx/so.
Personally i don't like to be supervised, the good thing is you admire the person more.

My understanding was supervision/benefit in this flow theory worked the opposite way: Sx/So benefits (or supervises to use the term above) the So/Sp because they sort of "feed" the So/Sp's primary Social need while not needing it as much themselves. So/Sp can then turn around and add some Sp to the dynamic which is helpful but not the primary need of the Sx/So person. Sp/Sx would be the one to benefit Sx/So. I suppose you could argue that there's an element of benefit going both ways.

I need to do more digging into that theory though, as it's kind of obscure and I don't have an article handy....

[persimmonism]

My understanding was supervision/benefit in this flow theory worked the opposite way: Sx/So benefits (or supervises to use the term above) the So/Sp because they sort of "feed" the So/Sp's primary Social need while not needing it as much themselves. So/Sp can then turn around and add some Sp to the dynamic which is helpful but not the primary need of the Sx/So person. Sp/Sx would be the one to benefit Sx/So. I suppose you could argue that there's an element of benefit going both ways.

I need to do more digging into that theory though, as it's kind of obscure and I don't have an article handy....

That's what I heard too

Ty for your replies, everyone

[Aria]

She’s SEI.
As soon as things get intense she is loyal and sticks through but tries to lighten things up immediately. Let’s just say me being sx first and her having that instinct last has made any connection between us tenuous. She does not instinctively take what I would like her to take seriously enough; but it’s not her “fault.”

edit: reading it again it also sounds quite like just EII-SEI interaction

Very relatable post, as my mom is also SEI and Sx-last. This is pretty much the heart of my personal interactions with Sx-last folks, but especially with her in the sense that she needs to keep things light. I remember she would look at me with a puzzled expression when I was upset by certain things, and it sort of grew a sense in me that maybe the things I was upset about didn't matter.

[Bethany]

I’m wondering if having a similar tritype is a way of bridging the gap between sx last and person with sx. I had a date recently with an SEE guy (I think he was sp/so 729) There wasn’t enough attraction but I did feel ‘something’ for him. I put this down to him being 7 (I usually go for SLE 7) and having 9 in his stack (I am e9..) The infj sp/so person I was quite close with also had a similar tritype to me (we shared 4 and 6).

[Bethany]

pls describe your experience of being sx-last.
how often do you feel a genuine pull towards an individual? do you wish you did more often? do you have trouble connecting with people? do you fear you are boring? do you often withdraw from people who are very intense? and any other questions you wish to answer~

So/sp are not boring- they are charming and energetic.