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Thread: Is the male aggressor romantic-style outdated?

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    Default Is the male aggressor romantic-style outdated?

    I feel like men are supposed to play it cool and let thirsty women do most of them work nowadays. It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”
    Last edited by Averroes; 07-31-2020 at 02:39 PM.

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    Nah it's just obviously, a tall and (objectively) physically attractive man can get away with being more sexually aggressive whereas an uglier man cannot. But truly objectively handsome males don't do creepy things like that to offend women anyway, it's usually warthogs like Harvey Fierstein who do that type of stuff. So they are allowed to both 'play it cool' and be more forward. Of course it's unfair and cruel =/ but... that's life?

    Also INFp women are like your very generic female based type woman. An INFp male is ultra 'weird' and an INFp female is ultra normie. Society pays attention to an INFp female being fucked by an ESTp male so much because it's easy to pay attention to it the same way it's easy to pay attention to a skinned knee. It's not the only type of relationship tho (even tho its probably the relationship that started it all in a primitive sense, heterosexually speaking)

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    Since it worked this way for me, you might be unironically right this time.

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    Being a caregiver seems ideal if you want a healthy relationship as an average guy. You’re fucked if you’re average and have a high sex drive or any kind of ego

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    Girls get horny too, and any normal-looking dude who approaches them can skip past their quality-control. He'll seem funny, or 'kind of cute', or whatever. While the rest of us are working or studying, there are guys who cruise around for sixteen hours a day looking for pussy. If you talk to hundreds girls, then, by the law of averages, at least one of them is going to have sex with you.
    Last edited by xerxe; 07-31-2020 at 06:54 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    Girls get horny too,
    Do you have proof of this?

    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    and any normal-looking dude who approaches them can skip past their quality-control. He'll seem funny, or 'kind of cute', or whatever. While the rest of us are working or studying, there are guys who cruise around for sixteen hours a day looking for pussy. If you talk to hundreds girls, then, by the law of averages, at least one of them is going to have sex with you.
    How many hundred?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I feel like men are supposed to play it cool and let thirsty women do most of them work nowadays. It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”
    yes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    You’re fucked if you’re average and have a high sex drive or any kind of ego
    no.
    Last edited by Tommy; 07-31-2020 at 07:53 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post

    Girls get horny too,
    Do you have proof of this?

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    People are same. At least those who have normal sexual interests. It's too instinctual and has more chance to be supressed, than changed.

    Any action is an aggression. To be stubborn is important to achieve something not easy. Se types are the most stubborn and most direct, also most jealous to protect what they want or have. It's among main traits of their "aggressor tactics". Also they may more often gift expensive things.
    Ni types initially play in push games even when they like you, as think "if he likes me seriously - he'll be trying seriously, if he'll get me easily - I'll be lesser interesting for him, his feelings will be lesser and he will lesser value me and our relations later to invest in this". Ni types value money and expensive gifts, are charmed by this - they significantly measure by material investments in them the own value for that human and even in general. Se types have the most to deal with their games and needs.

    > It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”

    There is a difference between propaganda and real world. That propaganda exaggerates and tries to reduce natural sexual behavior by negative images of that to destroy cores of peoples personality and to make softer slaves. The other example of that is "gender" philosophy and homosexuality "norma" nonsense.
    Se/Ni types seems are closest to cultural ideals of man-warrior (Se) and woman-princess (Ni) for who they fight. Se types fight in most direct way. So when you read about them - you think alike "ah those outdated phreaks" about which my favorite youtube homo-blogger and band of man-hating lesbians talked a lot. But they talked against normal behavior of normal people, in general - they are used to supress normal people which are the majority.

    2nd part
    Last edited by Sol; 08-03-2020 at 11:28 AM.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Dat is quite weird thinking since the whole erotic attitudes is based on type (excluding mirror pairs) specific differences.
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    If we talk about Se in this context it will be the Se mobilising types that are head over heels for this. Usually suggestive function works like taking a distance when confronted but it also gets comfortable around it when there is longer exposure.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I feel like men are supposed to play it cool and let thirsty women do most of them work nowadays. It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”
    Can you give some examples of “aggressor tactics”, and tell us when they worked better?

    You usually don’t get anywhere by staying put. If you want anything in life, you have to try to get it somehow. I don’t think waiting for someone else to make the first move is a stellar way to get a girl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I feel like men are supposed to play it cool and let thirsty women do most of them work nowadays. It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”
    Usually the person with the least sexual market value chases the one with the higher sexual market value
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ ESTp ~ Self-Pres 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire Element ~ Aries Sign ~ Beta Quadra ~ Gryffindor House ~ Summer Season ~ SLUEN ~

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    I think these romantic styles manifest differently in different cultures.

    We live in a culture where men initiating romance with women is less of a one way street (women can do the initiating too), and that's a good thing I think.

    That said, I don't think a man initiating with a woman is looked down on either. What is looked down on, more often, is chasing after the person has told you they aeren't interested, but that is something both men and women are discouraged to do in my experience.

    The "aggressor" romance style is less about taking initiative and more about a competitive and sometimes even disdainful attitude towards one's partner. Often getting someone to take the initiative on you (compelling them to do so) is just as much an "aggressor" tactic as initiating.

    Just my 2c.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Usually the person with the least sexual market value chases the one with the higher sexual market value
    I don't know about the "sexual market value", but I am most attracted to a woman when she has some trait that I really admire. Some trait that makes her better than me in some area. That doesn't have to be sexual market value. I think, for me, it's beauty and intelligence, and both of those things are very individualistic.

    I remember this one guy commented disparagingly on my first GF's looks when he didn't know we were going together. My reaction was, "How would you like a fist in the face?"*

    For example, I can tell when a woman is objectively beautiful, and when I think she is beautiful and desirable, and the two don't overlap much. My ex-wife could look both stunningly, classily beautiful, and she could look mannish and slightly weird. And that's OK. And to those two characteristics (beauty and intelligence) I'm looking for, I've now added "a slightly low key sexuality". A look that says, "Hey, buddy. That door is open to you." But isn't stated explicitly. Rather, it's just thought.


    *
    "My hair is pale blond and wavy and I'm pretty. Not beautiful - Praxiteles would not have given me a second look - but real beauty is likely to scare a man off, or else make him quite unmanageable, whereas prettiness, properly handled, is an asset."

    - Podkayne of Mars, Robert Heinlein.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don't know about the "sexual market value", but I am most attracted to a woman when she has some trait that I really admire. Some trait that makes her better than me in some area. That doesn't have to be sexual market value. I think, for me, it's beauty and intelligence, and both of those things are very individualistic.

    I remember this one guy commented disparagingly on my first GF's looks when he didn't know we were going together. My reaction was, "How would you like a fist in the face?"*

    For example, I can tell when a woman is objectively beautiful, and when I think she is beautiful and desirable, and the two don't overlap much. My ex-wife could look both stunningly, classily beautiful, and she could look mannish and slightly weird. And that's OK. And to those two characteristics (beauty and intelligence) I'm looking for, I've now added "a slightly low key sexuality". A look that says, "Hey, buddy. That door is open to you." But isn't stated explicitly. Rather, it's just thought.


    *
    "My hair is pale blond and wavy and I'm pretty. Not beautiful - Praxiteles would not have given me a second look - but real beauty is likely to scare a man off, or else make him quite unmanageable, whereas prettiness, properly handled, is an asset."

    - Podkayne of Mars, Robert Heinlein.
    SMV depends on taste to an extent but there are universal qualities that most people value like intelligence, accomplishments, interesting lifestyle, compatible personality and looks
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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    I feel like men are supposed to play it cool and let thirsty women do most of them work nowadays. It’s usually only unattractive, socially inept men who resort to chasing/“aggressor tactics”
    Men aren't as a group supposed to do anything. We are each individual people. If you mean societies pressure groups to behave a certain way, well, yes, that can happen, but it's not a great trend to get in line with: you'll not draw people who genuinely fit you as well, and youll get people who don't fit you wondering if they do, and that is wasting your time. Women and men are all finding romance a personal challenge.

    Gulenko did a craptastic job describing the romance styles. I'm not sure whether you're talking about those. If you are, disregard the creepy comparisons and just read for the dynamics and actual traits.

    ALSO:
    Confidence is the most attractive trait a woman can have according to a large study on men, and the same result was found about a trait men coud have when women were studied.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Usually the person with the least sexual market value chases the one with the higher sexual market value
    I disagree. I think assertive people or intense people or even just INTERESTED IN ROMANCE ppl (even the quiet ones) often act in ways to draw or approach people. I know many, many cases where the more conventionally attractive, educated, more privileged class person either intentionally acts to draw 1st or approaches 1st the person who is/has less of those traits. They have more resources to do so...
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I disagree. I think assertive people or intense people or even just INTERESTED IN ROMANCE ppl (even the quiet ones) often act in ways to draw or approach people. I know many, many cases where the more conventionally attractive, educated, more privileged class person either intentionally acts to draw 1st or approaches 1st the person who is/has less of those traits. They have more resources to do so...
    yeah u can disagree but this is facts. and what u say doesnt contradict what i said
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    yeah u can disagree but this is facts. and what u say doesnt contradict what i said
    I can disagree....and, you've given no more evidence than I have
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    ALSO:
    Confidence is the most attractive trait a woman can have according to a large study on men, and the same result was found about a trait men coud have when women were studied.
    So called dominant subtype characteristics. I actually view it turnoffish.
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    Quote Originally Posted by COVID 007 View Post
    So called dominant subtype characteristics. I actually view it turnoffish.
    no. not dominance. confidence. they are discreet. I've met many a confident SEI, EII, IEI, ESI, etc
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    Quote Originally Posted by COVID 007 View Post
    So called dominant subtype characteristics. I actually view it turnoffish.
    This tbh, it seems to seem that this is universally liked because most people (it seems that women are especially affected by this) tend to be normalizing sub-types.
    There is no need to be a asshole or act like like a 'tough guy' it is not even needed to be competent.
    Women are attracted to you for different reasons, some of them are Victimish or Childlike behavior depending on the ego functions.
    Caregiver Women like to give care and will be endeared by Ne goofiness and helplesness in Practical matters while Se women like playful submission and weakness as long as you are able to keep up with her games.

    ImE the most important things are Chemistry (depends a lot on Instincts) Looks and Ego Functions (and their Subtype accentuation). So typical Fatherly or Badass behavior is mostly mandatory to be attractive to Ne and Ni egos.

    Creative Subtypes are best attracted by harmonizing behavior, and yes to pull a normalizer you should be the typical 'dominant' Douchebag that pop cutlure wants to turn everybody into by false common sense but otherwise it is not needed, not at all.
    Be a good person, have matching instincts and ego functions, most of it really is compatibility and then, while being compatible being authentic.
    Yes being successful helps but in my experience when there is a strong instinctual and Perceiving function attraction mostly in a sense of social desirability of you as a mate, not for the sake of raw attraction.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    no. not dominance. confidence. they are discreet. I've met many a confident SEI, EII, IEI, ESI, etc
    He's referring to DCNH subtype theory. There are introverted feelers with dominant subtypes, too.

    But I agree with you that confidence and dominance are not the same thing.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    He's referring to DCNH subtype theory. There are introverted feelers with dominant subtypes, too.

    But I agree with you that confidence and dominance are not the same thing.
    thank you 4 explainijng
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    Everyone can morph into having dominant role but with confidence you can actually be both - true confidence because the hierarchy of the subtypes kind of sets the limit in comparative sense.
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    Sincerely yours,
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    How many hundred?

    I see you are interested. You need to test it out, it seems.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duschia View Post
    I see you are interested. You need to test it out, it seems.
    Believe me, I have been testing it out, but with inconclusive results.

    My SLI ex never seemed to be horny. The LSI ex really liked sex, but I'm not sure if it was because she was having fun or because she had 100% of my attention and she was pretty much in control of the situation, even though it seemed like I was the dominant one.

    Pure horniness, I'm not sure I've seen. But I could be completely wrong, since I'm not a mind-reader.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-01-2020 at 08:29 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Believe me, I have been testing it out, but with inconclusive results.

    My SLI ex never seemed to be horny. The LSI ex really liked sex, but I'm not sure if it was because she was having fun or because she had 100% of my attention and she was pretty much in control of the situation, even though it seemed like I was the dominant one.

    Pure horniness, I'm not sure I've seen. But I could be completely wrong, since I'm not a mind-reader.
    how the fuck.....has anyone not seen pure horniness? And even if you've not had friends who happen to be female and picked up on it/talked about it...how can this be in doubt?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don't know about the "sexual market value", but I am most attracted to a woman when she has some trait that I really admire. Some trait that makes her better than me in some area. That doesn't have to be sexual market value. I think, for me, it's beauty and intelligence, and both of those things are very individualistic.

    I remember this one guy commented disparagingly on my first GF's looks when he didn't know we were going together. My reaction was, "How would you like a fist in the face?"*

    For example, I can tell when a woman is objectively beautiful, and when I think she is beautiful and desirable, and the two don't overlap much. My ex-wife could look both stunningly, classily beautiful, and she could look mannish and slightly weird. And that's OK. And to those two characteristics (beauty and intelligence) I'm looking for, I've now added "a slightly low key sexuality". A look that says, "Hey, buddy. That door is open to you." But isn't stated explicitly. Rather, it's just thought.


    *
    "My hair is pale blond and wavy and I'm pretty. Not beautiful - Praxiteles would not have given me a second look - but real beauty is likely to scare a man off, or else make him quite unmanageable, whereas prettiness, properly handled, is an asset."

    - Podkayne of Mars, Robert Heinlein.
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    I've been wondering this myself. I remember when I first joined this forum we could talk about how aggressor/victim Rocky and Adrien are, but now it's rape culture, and I honestly feel torn about all of this. The contradictions were present with Adrien and Rocky, the it's great he knows this is what she needs to continue, but then for every one of her there are probably ten women who can't get Rocky to stop and it kills them inside. Sigh.

    It reminds me of my first date. He took me out to the middle of nowhere, but I knew where we were going before we went because there were only so many places. He seemed caught off guard afterwards to my apparent lack of regard for danger and lack of questioning, but he didn't know I was running this show. I knew where, I knew what, the only thing I didn't know is that he would be so surprised by my not verbalizing what I knew. This became a rapidly growing problem, this need of his to assume I know nothing, when I know everything (I mean if we have to talk in absolutes). I wouldn't have even gone out with him if I sensed danger. I sensed none at all. I sensed someone I could predict at every move. Naturally I didn't tell him any of this either, because why should I have to? I did forget that he had a mind too I guess though, so that's on me. As always, every evaluation of another is just an evaluation of myself projected on others.

    Also, I do play dumb around ppl in this awful E9 way. It's like they call all the shots, but I only engage socially when I know what shots they will call to my satisfaction. In work places though, I become the throw rug, the carpet walked all over, because the power differential is beyond me. They have power, I don't, and it's all I can think of. I feel like a slave and victim. I can't fight them because they hold the means of my survival. It's like my relationship with my father over and over and I can't get out of it. But it's true that they have power, it's true they keep the gates of who is allowed a living wage and who must suffer not having the resources they need to survive. It's true this is wrong. But still that's not how so many people see work places. They don't see them as torture chambers as I do. They don't see bondage and servitude.

    This is also why whenever I have any power over another at work I want to drop it like a hot ember. I see their primal human will trying to assert and express itself and I say I will not be the one to kill it. So i remove consequence. They can do no wrong because they have the least power. It's a perverse way I wonder of seeing power, and it doesn't help to not set boundaries, but the only boundaries set for me in childhood were abusive, so I distrust everything. In this way I don't know the harm I do. I only suspect I do harm by being too weak and permissive. But I never see examples of a good way that satisfy me. In workplaces, I've noticed most supervisors don't really know what they're doing, and most of them are bad leaders.
    Last edited by inumbra; 08-02-2020 at 03:20 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    how the fuck.....has anyone not seen pure horniness? And even if you've not had friends who happen to be female and picked up on it/talked about it...how can this be in doubt?
    I rarely see anyone show any emotion tbh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    I've been wondering this myself. I remember when I first joined this forum we could talk about how aggressor/victim Rocky and Adrien are, but now it's rape culture, and I honestly feel torn about all of this. The contradictions were present with Adrien and Rocky, the it's great he knows this is what she needs to continue, but then for every one of her there are probably ten women who can't get Rocky to stop and it kills them inside. Sigh.

    It reminds me of my first date. He took me out to the middle of nowhere, but I knew where we were going before we went because there were only so many places. He seemed caught off guard afterwards to my apparent lack of regard for danger and lack of questioning, but he didn't know I was running this show. I knew where, I knew what, the only thing I didn't know is that he would be so surprised by my not verbalizing what I knew. This became a rapidly growing problem, this need of his to assume I know nothing, when I know everything (I mean if we have to talk in absolutes). I wouldn't have even gone out with him if I sensed danger. I sensed none at all. I sensed someone I could predict at every move. Naturally I didn't tell him any of this either, because why should I have to? I did forget that he had a mind too I guess though, so that's on me. As always, every evaluation of another is just an evaluation of myself projected on others.

    Also, I do play dumb around ppl in this awful E9 way. It's like they call all the shots, but I only engage socially when I know what shots they will call to my satisfaction. In work places though, I become the throw rug, the carpet walked all over, because the power differential is beyond me. They have power, I don't, and it's all I can think of. I feel like a slave and victim. I can't fight them because they hold the means of my survival. It's like my relationship with my father over and over and I can't get out of it. But it's true that they have power, it's true they keep the gates of who is allowed a living wage and who must suffer not having the resources they need to survive. It's true this is wrong. But still that's not how so many people see work places. They don't see them as torture chambers as I do. They don't see bondage and servitude.

    This is also why whenever I have any power over another at work I want to drop it like a hot ember. I see their primal human will trying to assert and express itself and I say I will not be the one to kill it. So i remove consequence. They can do no wrong because they have the least power. It's a perverse way I wonder of seeing power, and it doesn't help to not set boundaries, but the only boundaries set for me in childhood were abusive, so I distrust everything. In this way I don't know the harm I do. I only suspect I do harm by being too weak and permissive. But I never see examples of a good way that satisfy me. In workplaces, I've noticed most supervisors don't really know what they're doing, and most of them are bad leaders.
    I was on this forum waaay back, and I pointed out nearly a decade ago about that scene that I AM an Ni type and that what Rocky did was not sexy. It made sense that it might be easy for a boxer and uneducated and lonely person to illegally hold someone captive (AND NO THIS IS NOT SOME NEWLY RECOGNIZED AS BAD THING; THIS HAS ACTUALLY BEEN ON THE LAW BOOKS AS A CRIME REGARDLESS OF ANY HORNINESS OR NOT, AND IT'S WEIRD SOME GUYS DON'T GET THAT WOMEN AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE LESS PROTECTION BY ILLEGAL CAPTIVITY LAWS JUST BECAUSE THE CRIMINAL IS AROUSED; you can still like a person who commits a crime and is in the wrong. It's okay to care about Rocky.) Ni types don't like being forced. That's a stupid comparison Gulenko went off on a tangent about. Ni types like someone being physically demonstrative. It's not the same thing. And Si types aren't pedophiles etc etc
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    I think no one likes being forced against their will. Where I personally am confused is that I could choose this but it's because it's with my will. But if I ever articulate that, it takes away the significance. Maybe it's because I've been effed in the head by the patriarchy, but I can't help it. It's like consent without consent. BDSM wouldn't satisfy it because it's too structured and everyone declares their roles. It needs to be spontaneous.

    Anyway, maybe I am a creature molded by the patriarchy. No means yes, yes means no. I make myself unavailable when no really is no by preventing contact in the first place, and I've always been good at that. Outside of workplaces it is dreadfully easy for me to avoid people because I have the gift/curse of invisibility. When I don't want to be seen people don't see me. Although perhaps like many Si type descriptions say, I am shocked when I am noticed because I never expect it. Creeps may be drawn to me because they sense a throw rug, and relatively intellectually challenged creep types are the only ones I've had a problem getting rid of because they don't notice or disregard all the signals of "stay away from me." And it's true once you get past the facade I actually am not good at making people leave me alone, but all the defenses before that point work really well like 99% of the time. I also can always employ tactics to make myself undesirable by being weird in a way that is difficult to process.

    But the other point is I know when I'm in danger. I know who is dangerous. I know automatically. My blind spot is intellectually challenged people which is in a lot of ways the least problematic blind spot (and betrays bias about things I need to work on).
    Last edited by inumbra; 08-02-2020 at 04:58 AM.

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    Aggressor as applied in Socionics is a dubious term. The animalistic prime directive of most normal, heterosexual males is to impregnate females in a possessive, controlling/manipulative fashion. Type may, to a limited extent, determine how this urge is likely masked and visible aggressiveness indicates less capability to mask true intentions, which isn't limited to specific types. Now attractive men usually have bigger herds from which to choose but those aggressive urges are still ever present; if they aren't then males should have their testosterone levels checked. Being socially inept is a much broader problem that could also lead to them not chasing women; one should not confuse clumsiness with aggression. Most normal, heterosexual females are sexually 'thirsty' but cognition, in a similar fashion, masks their urges too.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by andreasdevig View Post
    Why are you violent? What exactly do you feel punching people in the face is gonna accomplish?
    @andreasdevig, I was raised in a violent household where differences of opinion were settled by force. Wanting to punch that guy was a gut-level reaction. I don’t do that anymore. I discovered that violence only teaches other people to be violent. It is the low-intelligence and inappropriate approach to problem solving.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @andreasdevig, I was raised in a violent household where differences of opinion were settled by force. Wanting to punch that guy was a gut-level reaction. I don’t do that anymore. I discovered that violence only teaches other people to be violent. It is the low-intelligence and inappropriate approach to problem solving.
    I don't believe it's always how you were raised. My parents were the opposite of this and my gut reaction still has always been to punch assholes in the face.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I don't believe it's always how you were raised. My parents were the opposite of this and my gut reaction still has always been to punch assholes in the face.
    Well, OK, you’re right. I’m also an e8w7 so I have fast reactions to people trying to oppose or contradict me. However, I’m also smart enough and experienced enough to know that an animalistic reaction is counterproductive 99% of the time. The only thing it’s good for is to prompt the brain into action.

    In the long run, it’s much better to turn your enemy into a friend. And the more they freely and voluntarily want to be your friend, the better the future becomes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I don't believe it's always how you were raised. My parents were the opposite of this and my gut reaction still has always been to punch assholes in the face.
    Could also be a quadra complex reaction, for Gamma it is explicitly stated that they tend to react to transgressions by action, which is often translated to physical force.
    I still think that there a certain situations where you deserve to be punched, and i think this is widely accepted norm.
    It belongs to having a respectful interaction to react to certain ways of disrespect with challenging the other person to a fight.
    This is usually widely understood and the only people who will cry wolf afterwards are (narcissistic) Alpha quadra Members imE.
    Still could be a lot of sub-cultural imprinting that makes me think that way but usually, if your opponent is not a spiritually effeminate ESE, you are a lot cooler with each-other after things have been settled, no matter who has won, everybody has proven their point and you respect each-other more.

    But yes, the gut reaction is probably something you (I) should get over, can also be an overreacting amygdala due to violent upbringing. I still don't think that violence has to be immoral but depending on the ehtical qualities of your opponent you give them ammunition they can use against you in a Society regulated by Si Valuing people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Aggressor as applied in Socionics is a dubious term. The animalistic prime directive of most normal, heterosexual males is to impregnate females in a possessive, controlling/manipulative fashion. Type may, to a limited extent, determine how this urge is likely masked and visible aggressiveness indicates less capability to mask true intentions, which isn't limited to specific types. Now attractive men usually have bigger herds from which to choose but those aggressive urges are still ever present; if they aren't then males should have their testosterone levels checked. Being socially inept is a much broader problem that could also lead to them not chasing women; one should not confuse clumsiness with aggression. Most normal, heterosexual females are sexually 'thirsty' but cognition, in a similar fashion, masks their urges too.

    a.k.a. I/O
    My level of sexual aggression seems to be very strongly influenced by what the women in my life want.

    I’ve had a few partners and all were pretty different, and in each case, I think I manifested that part of me that they were looking for.

    Now I’m wondering if I have an intrinsic style or level of aggression. The thing that makes me happiest is when a woman I like is having a good time. After that, I’m looking for desire, kindness, consideration, and collaboration. After that, I act aggressively.

    This seems to me to be Aggression overlaid on a Victim base. But that’s exactly what the Erotic Attitudes article stated was the case for LIE’s. It’s just surprisingly to me that this is the way this style manifests itself. In my case, at least.

    I’m tempted to say more specifically what I want, but it might be a carryover from my last GF, and while she was a great sexual partner, she might not be the BEST sexual partner for me.

    Whew. This introspection business is hard.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-02-2020 at 02:21 PM.

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