The Extended Questionnaire v2.0What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I’m a high school student who used to study art but decided to pursue IT. Now my college applications are a mess because of it. It’s a pain in the ass scraping enough micro certificates and outside school programs to look halfway decent. I am actually quite fond of programming and computer science but the stability of being a wage slave was what truly coerced me.
What are your values, and why?
Politically I’m a post left anarcho nihilist. I am also deeply infatuated with unconditional accelerationism. Religiously I’m an atheist pagan. Satanism, the Qabalah, Discordianism, the like. I study them more than any kind of worship, however. Used to be an agnostic, which I still admire because it seems like the true neutral, rather than atheism. Objective ethics do not exist, simply recontextualization, yet this detached attitude I pursue does not come as easily as I would like. My moral values are quiet conventional except I non ironically think pedophilia and necrophilia should be less demonized. "Your right to punch the air ends at my face" when it comes to most moral questions. I dislike positions of authority abstractly. I also dislike institutional nihilists/centrists because they're pussies haha.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I have a routine, but try not be anal about it. The early day is for work,studying, part time job, and creating my video game. Later on is for consumption, media, art, and social time. Productivity is important but I can spend hours on what some people would consider fucking around haha. I used to be quite laissez faire about my time and could spend days just being essentially a vegetable. This cumulated in a state of apathy and lethargy that resulted in a mental breakdown of sorts, forcing me to change.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I love my family, but do not like them. I’m a lesbian who wants to puruse a childfree marriage-less life. My family is unsupportive and have made it clear they will cut me off if I ever decide to pursue this road. I have social anxiety and this has made making friends extremely difficult. I find EIIs to be extremely easy to connect to and non intimidating for some reason. Essentially, a largely unsuccessful venture that I have no qualms with
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Romantically I’m extremely attracted to classical femininity. I’m sort of butch/andro and despite the mental disorders, I feel “right” being the pursuer and the initiator. I find it difficult to make friends with Fe and SLE, they seem the most intimidating. I dislike being put on the spot socially and prefer quiet relaxed environments. Gender-wise I have more male friends than female, this is probably due to my interests that skew male.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
They happen rarely. I’m not conflict averse however and will stand up for myself and others. When defending someone I feel empowered and the adrenaline rush is honestly a bit of a high.
How would your friends describe you?
Quiet. My friends are not as close as I would like to be, I do not think they understand me. That is my fault completely for being a closed off hermit.
"Lazy, easygoing, laidback, stoic, monotone" off the top of my head
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Other people would say knowledgeable. I am good with fixing things with a guide. I immerse myself in preexisting information on the internet, articles, books, anything when I take interest in a subject. Oddly enough, despite naturally bad vision and a complete disinterest, I have quite a knack for sports. I can easily clear my mind and focus, tensing your body in a state of readiness seemed to be the secret to success.
I like my feet, they are quite beautiful. Can’t think of anything else. I have also had friends who say they admire me for my "easygoingness", although I'm not sure whether that was a backhanded compliment for being a lazy ass lol.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
Besides insecurity, something I think most people experience, probably I am prone to hyping trivial things as “the next big thing” and trying too hard to be quirky. I also do not think well on my feet, and short circuit as a result. People often criticize me for symptoms of social anxiety, bad posture, a dour facial expression, monotone voice. I dislike many things about myself but for the most part they are irrational thoughts, and will not dwell on them as they are not valid.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I would like to be a better friend. I do not play the nurturing empatheticrole well, and can come off asinsensitive. I offend people through harsh words or an unenthusiastic facial expression mostly. I also deeply admire people with a true creative spirit, whether it is practical or not. My imagination has room for growth and everyone possesses one obviously, but people who ideas and prose come to like air are very 水.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I dislike normal people things, not much unique data there. I enjoy aesthetic experiences and chasing them, sometimes obsessively. I can browse a certain genre of artworks or a famous artists portfolio for hours. I think comfort and beauty is a necessary aspect to a full life. A diverse but practical cuisine, browsing quaint/picturesque areas, a soft and cozy home. There are many people who just do not understand the value and even occasionally demonize it for being shallow. So many humans are obsessed with "in your face wham bam" concepts of "beauty" such as hot women, instagram fashion, a famous tourist nature park, but I want to tell them there's so much more to it! Everywhere you look is beauty, some are a bit more subtle than others. A beautiful mug, and old bracelet, a charming flower. I like staring at beautiful things and trying to dissect it, surround myself with it, soak in it. Basically I like cute things haha
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
Sysadmin -> corporate pentester -> remote telecommute security consultant for a large IT firm. If life decides to grant me an early retirement, then I will gladly seize it. I am not one of those maniacs who think forced labour is essential to happiness. I will rent a small shared apartment and live somewhat frugally, it’s just appealing to my personality.
Sometimes I have vivid fantasies of escaping the modern hellhole. I want to be like the guy who built a dam with his bare hands and 3 sons in the woods in the middle of fucking nowhere that powered all electrical needs. Isolated physically with a cute girlfriend and strong internet connection to keep in touch with The Wired
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
Art. Join a maker’s space and make some dumb 3D printed projects. A silly trivial nonessential bucket list. The pressure of creating a legacy “just because” seems ridiculous. There can be no greater pleasure than being consumed by maggots and returned to forgotten abyss.
Gonna stop here because I feel sorry for people who have to strain their eyes for waterfalls of text, and I hate them as well. I have filled out more which can be completed in a Pt. 2 if anyone requests. <3