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Thread: Spotting the types on dating apps!

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    Default Spotting the types on dating apps!

    We talk a lot about duality and type spotting from the perspective of meeting people in person - what to expect from them, how they look, etc. - which is something that can't really happen now due to a pandemic.

    I'm curious - in this time of quarantine (and also just in general), what are ways that you use to spot and distinguish types on dating apps like Tinder, etc? What are your tips and tricks to distinguish quadras & quasi-identicals??

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    I just look at them.

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    I look at their hobbies and interests, overall appearance, but most importantly, I straight up ask them questions that will help me determine... I may have even asked a couple people to take a test o.O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I just look at them.
    Dude, this exactly what Jung referred as Ni - immediate surface impressions aka crude Se.
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    Quote Originally Posted by seare825 View Post
    which is something that can't really happen now due to a pandemic
    This pandemic is a fake about another virus similar to season flu. 25% of Moscow region got this virus and the number of death is comparable with a year ago. Some countries as Belorussia and seems Sweeden have spited on that nonscientific idiocy and have no serious problems. At least to now moment it's so, as USA may spread another viruses from their labs to oppose to China and other "developing" and to arise social inequality in the world. There are no limitations to meet people in many places at now and before not many ones followed them.

    > what are ways that you use to spot and distinguish types on dating apps like Tinder

    Will not say about Tinder or apps. In social sites as FB and VK there are many photos which are useful to suppose types and to check "relations" status. Also what people write, their interests mb useful too. All "tips and tricks" are in common Socionics texts. For VI and behavior analysis it's enough. Also types examples may help.

    The main possibility is public places where you may see and talk IRL. For those who are young there is a variety of close ages and without "married with kids" limits.

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    How is there time to spot people’s types when you’re frantically swiping “yes” to everyone in your region?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ergot View Post
    I'm not into these ways of meeting people anymore, being approached at random/in the wild is preferable. Even if it happens while covid distance-shopping... that's added mystique.

    in terms of profiles I've been drawn to in the past :
    thumbs up & grin while rockclimbing
    goofy outfit and sequin mask, mid-party
    windswept hair , motorbike and great ocean road in background

    EP (doing)vibes, merry vibes draw me in. comfortable clothing, shirts not buttoned fully
    bonus if there's a self deprecating pose or some great outdoors involved.
    Agreed @ meeting in the wild preferable, which is a bit hard for me given my hermit status, but, the dating site thing just doesn't work. I always thought it wouldn't, recently gave it a try and yeah, not for me personally. I like he covid mystique thing LOL, I think I've mildly had that fantasy. Can only see half the face, what's behind the mask o.O I actually saw a dude who seemed ExxP who I kind of locked eyes with at the store and I felt curious a bit, heehee

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    I wouldn't trust type determination in any scenario where behaviour, perspectives and or looks can be prepared, rehearsed and or edited.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Umm maybe figure out what enneagram type you are attracted to for your dual (I def prefer ESTP 7s for example over 3s and 8s and I think 7s prefer me too) and perhaps which instinctual stacking you like too. I started off trying to look for ESTPs based on interests and VI and I did find some but I just didn't feel attracted to them. Then I learnt about instinct stackings and had that in mind when looking and got talking to someone who I thought was an ESTP 7. Turns out he was ESTJ..but now I seem to be getting matches with people I like the look of more, including (I think) some ESTPs. We shall see haha.

    Enneagram stuff can be handy in narrowing down what socionics type someone is. Also, just matching with people you like the look of..even if you know they're not your dual ..there might be something about them that's similar to your dual and then the algorithms will bring up more people like them, and maybe some duals. Sorry if that actually makes it seem even harder haha.

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    Also, I feel like having my instagram (with melodramatic IEI captions) connected to my profile might get me a bit more attention too LOL. And clearly state your interests. I am so/sx 9 and I love raving- I think there will be some ESTP 7s out there who love raving too I think these are helping..

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    you have to chat with them for awhile. I was able to type people online a long time ago even when I was fairly new to socionics. I remember one girl I typed ESI but when I met her it turned out she was a shy SEE, but close enough. Another time I chatted with a girl and we talked about old photographs, and I said that they are "so nostalgic", and then she replied that "if you haven't experienced it yourself it is maybe not the right concept to use "nostalgic". Well, I typed her ILI and when we met - she was ILI.

    you talk and you'll figure it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by seare825 View Post
    to distinguish quadras & quasi-identicals??
    what do you mean distinguish quadras & quasi-identicals. ???
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Bump.
    You’d think SEE would be easy to spot. I’ve had no luck

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    Quote Originally Posted by CoViD Spurdo 007 View Post
    Dude, this exactly what Jung referred as Ni - immediate surface impressions aka crude Se.
    l.
    I didn't know this was ever mentioned. cool

    I like the profile pics. My buddy was using tinder and said it was an app that allowed you to pick ppl based off of looks. we got into this discussion where I was saying how someone looks, but not beauty, etc, is important to me...like how they inhabit their body..etc, and that was why I liked photos...having data...trying to read them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CoViD Spurdo 007 View Post
    Dude, this exactly what Jung referred as Ni - immediate surface impressions aka crude Se.
    Se is about objectively seen physical traits alike the color of hears, evaluations of physical force and of the will. Ni is about inner associations, about links between you and other human, dreams about time related alike how relations may go.

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    how do you spot LSIs?

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    I tried this when I was on dating apps and what I tried to do - rather than trying to VI duals - is make my profile as authentically enticing to a dual as possible.

    So I looked at what about my type is really present in me, specifically around what a dual would look for and what a conflictor would hate. For example I always say that I'm enthusiastic, ethical, ambitious and emotional (but with more pizzazz than that obviously). Then I would put something I thought an aggressor would respond to like a dare or a challenge. Finally, I'd try and authentically find what I was looking for in a dual, what appealed to me in a dual, and either write something about that on my profile or look for it in the people I was talking to.

    This way you don't reduce yourself to a stereotype or reduce other people to stereotypes ("he's doing action sports in pictures so he's probably Se"). You can use pictures / examples to demonstrate your ego functions rather than just listing them too. This sounds super intense but is generally how I approached it. I think after doing this I met up with three guys - none of them duals but all Ti types - LII (semi-dual and the best of the bunch), ILE and SLE.
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    Quote Originally Posted by calm View Post
    Bump.
    You’d think SEE would be easy to spot. I’ve had no luck
    from what I’ve heard (from
    See mate/sister) they like to talk a lot to someone on an app before meeting..a lot of chat! Sometimes for months..
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 09-02-2020 at 04:03 PM.

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    Sle on dating apps seem cold at first/speak in quite a direct way. Like to show off knowledge about stuff too-mention books they’ve read for example..

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    Serious and none is apparent
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Ok, I got better at this. Here's what I've been doing
    Step one:

    I ask myself "Am I attracted to this person physically?" Because dual or not, it won't work if the answer is no
    Step two:
    The bio. Can be hit or miss but sometimes it gives me an idea of what the person is about. For SEE, I look for hella social media promo, YOLO rhetoric, and I can usually tell if someone is intuitive (especially Ne) based on what they put in there. Then again SEEs are known to parrot shit other people say to look smart or insightful, whatever. So I keep an open mind.
    Step three, but sometimes two:
    I VI the photos as best I can. Is this person dressed for comfort like an Si user? (Tasteful, understated, comfort for the high Si, disheveled/mismatched/quirky for the low Si)
    Or is this person dressed to impress like an Se user? (bright colors, flashy, eccentric outfits, graphic tees) (Effortless and well put together like high Se, or basic, lackluster, forced, or inconsistent though dressed with more consideration than childlike si, like low Se)
    Does this person have on a flannel shirt? Instant left swipe. I avoid my benefactor like the plague.

    If all else fails, but I'm physically attracted to them, I'll just match with them and observe how they talk to me. SEEs are not afraid to use innuendo and be borderline crass. They also use popular slang more often than Si users, especially SJs. They come across as energetic, use emojis, give compliments, and I don't feel the need to carry the conversation. I can give one word replies and they will move the conversation along for me (what a relief).
    The more you match with and speak to, the more familiar they become.

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    Quote Originally Posted by calm View Post
    Ok, I got better at this. Here's what I've been doing
    Step one:

    I ask myself "Am I attracted to this person physically?" Because dual or not, it won't work if the answer is no
    Step two:
    The bio. Can be hit or miss but sometimes it gives me an idea of what the person is about. For SEE, I look for hella social media promo, YOLO rhetoric, and I can usually tell if someone is intuitive (especially Ne) based on what they put in there. Then again SEEs are known to parrot shit other people say to look smart or insightful, whatever. So I keep an open mind.
    Step three, but sometimes two:
    I VI the photos as best I can. Is this person dressed for comfort like an Si user? (Tasteful, understated, comfort for the high Si, disheveled/mismatched/quirky for the low Si)
    Or is this person dressed to impress like an Se user? (bright colors, flashy, eccentric outfits, graphic tees) (Effortless and well put together like high Se, or basic, lackluster, forced, or inconsistent though dressed with more consideration than childlike si, like low Se)
    Does this person have on a flannel shirt? Instant left swipe. I avoid my benefactor like the plague.

    If all else fails, but I'm physically attracted to them, I'll just match with them and observe how they talk to me. SEEs are not afraid to use innuendo and be borderline crass. They also use popular slang more often than Si users, especially SJs. They come across as energetic, use emojis, give compliments, and I don't feel the need to carry the conversation. I can give one word replies and they will move the conversation along for me (what a relief).
    The more you match with and speak to, the more familiar they become.
    And smile. ESFP have the brightest smiles
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by calm View Post
    Does this person have on a flannel shirt? Instant left swipe. I avoid my benefactor like the plague.
    hey, I would never wear a plaid shirt

    I definitely need someone who can move the conversation along while giving one word answers

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    Quote Originally Posted by Synchrony View Post
    What is the typical scenario? How would someone spot an LSI from your perspective?
    You have to look for the large steel cages in the background of their profile pictures. Or the prison cell bars, either one.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2p0vqWqxHY

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    Quote Originally Posted by bethanyrose View Post
    Sle on dating apps seem cold at first/speak in quite a direct way. Like to show off knowledge about stuff too-mention books they’ve read for example..
    Can we expand on this? I'd love to do more SLE type spotting since they're my dual haha

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    Quote Originally Posted by seare825 View Post
    Can we expand on this? I'd love to do more SLE type spotting since they're my dual haha
    It’s pretty difficult tbh. I think the SLEs I’ve spoken to have approached me first on the apps. Not many..but I usually have a quite interesting conversation with them- a convo that gets me thinking..in a comfortable way. Soz for vagueness. Once I found a guy coz he looked like another sle I knew.

    the really cute SLEs I’ve met in real life have these adorable kinda squishy looking faces like a smudge, with eyes a bit like Robert Pattinson eyes haha. This is no help for apps (there is lots of variety of course) but just something I remember fondly haha. also sometimes wonky eyes..

    I also have the wonky eyes lol
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 09-04-2020 at 03:38 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Synchrony View Post
    What is the typical scenario? How would someone spot an LSI from your perspective?
    good question...
    to be honest, I have no idea. I don't really meet a lot of people like me, but I'd agree that dating apps are generally not our thing.

    I honestly don't know where to find Betas in general. It seems like everything in real life is built with Deltas in mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    This pandemic is a fake about another virus similar to season flu. 25% of Moscow region got this virus and the number of death is comparable with a year ago. Some countries as Belorussia and seems Sweeden have spited on that nonscientific idiocy and have no serious problems. At least to now moment it's so, as USA may spread another viruses from their labs to oppose to China and other "developing" and to arise social inequality in the world. There are no limitations to meet people in many places at now and before not many ones followed them.

    > what are ways that you use to spot and distinguish types on dating apps like Tinder

    Will not say about Tinder or apps. In social sites as FB and VK there are many photos which are useful to suppose types and to check "relations" status. Also what people write, their interests mb useful too. All "tips and tricks" are in common Socionics texts. For VI and behavior analysis it's enough. Also types examples may help.

    The main possibility is public places where you may see and talk IRL. For those who are young there is a variety of close ages and without "married with kids" limits.
    Russian stats are unreliable because Putin has to look good

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    Theres nothing more awkward than ghosting someone in the middle of a conversation, because I was mistaken about their Socionics type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Surreal View Post
    Theres nothing more awkward than ghosting someone in the middle of a conversation, because I was mistaken about their Socionics type.
    Ah this is my life. I feel bad about it but also grateful that I have socionics as some sort of guide. Feel like I’m getting better at spotting types in the quadra from a bit of convo..and I think I can now differentiate between esfp and estp quickly. Talking to people on apps has def helped me learn more about the types/got me reading up more. I feel like I’m kinda starting to be able to spot people’s enneagram (even tritype) from their pics/convo..(sometimes) which is helpful in figuring out the sociotype/ sussing them out :s

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duschia View Post
    How many SEEs use dating apps? I found some ESIs definitely, and IEEs.
    It’s a catch 22 because if you find a SEE it’s good for you, but then again SEE+dating app can be the biggest ho you’ll ever meet. Speaking from experience. Most of the SEEs I know do perfectly fine in person though, so I mostly run into intuitives on the apps, which makes sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vex View Post
    If LSI used dating apps, I would probably use them as well. None of the SLE I know use them asides to troll people.
    Where do EIEs hang out IRL?

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    Quote Originally Posted by oath of solitude View Post
    Where do EIEs hang out IRL?
    Small theaters, Mega-churches (as pastors, etc.), HS guidance counselors, Church basements during AA night, and on duck farms, marshaling their duck armies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stance View Post
    I mostly associate SLE with headless or topless bro pics. "Wanna know, ask me? "

    LSIs where I live emphasize how outdoorsy they are, huntin', fishin', sports with a smidge of what piss poor luck they have had with the ladies and how they are pretty private. I can usually emotionally draw them out for awhile but then back away for whatever reason.

    Confession time: I used to talk to a ton of guys online dating sites to observe people's interaction style...so yeah.
    What have you learned? Has this helped with the duck armies?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vex View Post
    If LSI used dating apps, I would probably use them as well. None of the SLE I know use them asides to troll people.
    I thought that trolling IEI's was the way that SLE's dated?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duschia View Post
    How many SEEs use dating apps? I found some ESIs definitely, and IEEs.
    In my extensive experience with VI'ing ladies on Match.com, I'd say that about 1% or fewer of them are SEE's, and those few tend to be fairly intimidating. Something along the lines of "I like to have a great time and I'm looking for someone who can keep up." They range from the really attractive to the ones who look like they've lived a fairly hard-partying life. "Rode hard and put away wet", as the cowboys say.

    And Yes, lots and lots of IEE's. Lots and lots of them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vex View Post
    I've not used dating sites or apps, asides made a tindr (?) to see what it was about. It wasn't my thing, pretty awkward to see a lot of people that I knew since I'm a small town girl, so I deleted the app.

    I could see SLEs and LSIs behaving like that on dating sites, and it's not too far off from how they treat social media. Same goes for the other types.

    I used to have some LSI friends, mainly online. I didn't know anything about socionics or duality then, however I still thought we might have been compatible. The problem wasn't with them, it mainly a problem with me withdrawing and not initiating enough contact even after both sides had eventually been pretty open at one time. This can still be my flaw at times since I get so busy or bogged down with responsibilities.
    That is very interesting, @Vex. I've had two LSI GF's, and they both liked to go camping and do outside activities, like swimming, walking in the woods, tending their gardens, etc. Also, I tended to be the one who withdrew to do work or sort through some depression, and they were the ones to call me to see if I was OK. And tell me to come over for a walk or some sex. Although what they really craved was conversation from someone who wasn't gushing over them or accusing them of being men.

    Where I fell down was in not being able to supply enough Fe to meet their very real needs for this. Role Fe just doesn't do it in the long run.

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stance View Post
    I learned that I am an emotionally avoidant mofo. And when I really want to I can get inside certain guy's minds. I have had countless men tell me within a matter of a few hours how strong of a connection they feel with me and then I run away like a scared little shit. Maybe they were just trying to fuck me but it seemed they like felt empty and I was providing them an emotional drug.

    The weird thing is that my EIE male friend has a similar effect on emotionally vulnerable women but on steroids.
    This is very interesting, @Stance. It's a good thing that LSI's have very, very narrow filters on what they allow as input into their heads.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stance View Post
    Can you explain that to me?
    LSI's run on pure system logic. Everything has to fit together before they will accept it as true. And they are looking for socially generous people who are easy extroverts.

    If you meet an LSI, the easiest way to get along with them is to tell them the truth in all things. Be completely up front about who you are and what you do. If you are a crack-smoking drug addict with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery, say so. They won't believe you, of course, and they will constantly question you and fact-check your story, but if you absolutely never lie to them, you will gain their respect and some trust. They have an amazing ability to not pass judgement on you, but they really, really do pass judgment on the reliability of your information.

    The "logically fitting together" part is what they do when you tell them something. They consider it and see if it fits into a likely scenario. If it does not, or if your story has any inconsistencies, then you might find your freedoms around them restricted.*

    LSI's basically filter facts, and only allow the ones that fit into their internal structures to add to those structures. If you tell them that the sky is green, that just doesn't get in, and you're not so much stupid as you are a source of unreliable data, and therefore are of little use to them.



    *I know a male EIE who married a female LSI technical writer. The EIE has been living off his parents all his life and is fantastic at emotional manipulation. I mean, I like the guy, but he's not using his powers for good.
    After he was married for a while, I guess he felt like his wife wasn't enough or something and he cheated on her with this HS ex-GF who was just a routine deed, and then after lying about it, he told his wife what happened. He probably thought he'd get some drama, some excitement, and then he'd lay on the emotional stuff and everything would be good again and he'd have some affirmation that he was wanted. That's not how it played out.
    She kicked him out.
    He begged to come back.
    She told him to get fucked, she was totally done with him.
    He complained about the situation to everyone he and she knows. It doesn't matter. She's done, and he's fucked.
    Let me just say that he's probably never going to find someone like her, ever again.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-10-2020 at 12:45 AM.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stance View Post
    Oh hell no. My ex was pure hell because of this and it turned out he was lying to me/left out the extent of the shit he did to his exes for most of the relationship until after the fact. The more honest I tried to be, the more controlling he tried to be. And then I bullshitted him because I couldn't respect him or take him seriously as a man after that. His logic was based on his emotions...nutty.

    But if a LSI can just understand my perceptions change and I am blunt, I wouldn't mind being an open book... just don't blow up at me and interrogate me if you're hiding shit yourself.
    Everyone's logic is based on their emotions.

    But I think I have seen what you are describing. When I first met the second LSI, she told me some pretty unlikely stories, which I just ignored. Eventually, as I was consistently truthful and she came to trust me a bit more, the stories were repeated and they had a kernel of truth but had less dramatic spin.
    I chalked it up to her not being Dualized and needing more drama in her life. She'd had a crappy life, but was emotionally fairly healthy.

    But your perspective on this is also good. And yes, LSI's can be super-controlling. It's something that I, as an e8, find very avoidable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stance View Post
    In my situation, the details became more unnerving as we got further along. He got violent with someone else TWO MONTHS IN and found a way to put the blame on me and somehow expected us to be emotionally close. As much as I tried, I couldn't trust him to be logical and stable after that point.
    The more I read about the types, the harder it is for me to generalize behavior, because it varies so much with health levels.

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