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Thread: Spotting the types on dating apps!

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    I feel like I was a nice person all the way up until I started using dating apps. Yucky places! But during Covid at least everyone is kinda grateful for them. It’s a good time to try to meet people when there’s nothing else to do and it’s the only way how.

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    ok..has anyone ever told someone about socionics via message on a dating app? To get someone's attention/ to try to find out if they're a dual..people must have done it right? but is it ethical/ do people even care about socionics/ does it come across as crazy haha

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    I do think it would come across as crazy. You'd have to have some real tact and people skills to bring it up naturally, at least in my opinion.

    The only people I ever see who are into these things, especially the enneagram, are high on the crazy scale. I once saw an ad on craigslist by a "empowered christian woman ENTJ entrepreneur looking for a roommate who can also be an administrative assistant for 12/h". I wonder how that went.

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    Haha. Enneagram has a weird rep doesn’t it. I don’t think anyone knows about it in the Uk. They know a little about mbti.

    Although I think an Irish lady may have tried to tell me about the enneagram once on a plane. She was a sweet lady.
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-16-2020 at 08:32 AM.

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    One of the prompts on OKCupid is "the most private thing you're willing to admit." I'm still waffling over adding my interest in typing systems to that, as a tongue-in-cheek "at least I won't ask you when you were born" sort of thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by megedy View Post
    One of the prompts on OKCupid is "the most private thing you're willing to admit." I'm still waffling over adding my interest in typing systems to that, as a tongue-in-cheek "at least I won't ask you when you were born" sort of thing.
    Say that you like to wear men's shirts because they are easier to button. An LSE would love that. One, he gets to imagine you buttoning your shirt. He might even know why men's shirts are easier to button and he can't wait to tell you why they are. Two, he might think he could save money on shirts if you could wear his. Three, if that's the most risque thing you can think of, then you're not likely to embarrass him when he introduces you to his mother.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Say that you like to wear men's shirts because they are easier to button. An LSE would love that. One, he gets to imagine you buttoning your shirt. He might even know why men's shirts are easier to button and he can't wait to tell you why they are. Two, he might think he could save money on shirts if you could wear his. Three, if that's the most risque thing you can think of, then you're not likely to embarrass him when he introduces you to his mother.
    Oh now this is clever & I'm trying it. That's already more risque than anything else I've put on a dating profile!

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    This is NOT a dating site - obviously we have Socionics.com for that.

    With a few exceptions over the years, I don't get the impression that this forum is used for such purposes. Maybe people prefer Facebook.

    I actually think it would probably be a bad idea to have a Socionics dating service here although it might seem like a logical step. It would probably be better to focus on finding people who share your hobbies and tastes, as well as boring things like political and religious inclinations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by megedy View Post
    Oh now this is clever & I'm trying it. That's already more risque than anything else I've put on a dating profile!
    Dating online is such a wild gamble. Too little reveal and you’re boring. Too much and you’re a slut. No matter what you write, you’re going to seem to be one or the other to different audiences, even from the same post. It can get extremely tiring to try to present just the right amount of reveal to be interesting but not crazy. Sometimes I just get tired of trying.

    I’ve been on Match for four or five years and I’ve met three or four women, and only one seems even remotely compatible. There just is no substitute for evaluating someone in person for real interest.

    I can see a woman who is attractive and I’ll write up something to her that is carefully crafted to sound intelligent and funny and walks that fine line between being interested in her as a person but not as my next victim. And in return, I get.......nothing. Not a word.

    I try to stay optimistic, but sometimes I reach a point where I’m just too tired to care what they think. At times like these, I try to close the app and step away for a while to regain my strength (writing intros is hard work), but I don’t always succeed.

    For example, yesterday I ran across a woman who was smart (graduate degree), thin, super-attractive, lives near me, is a Dual, and is conservative. I’m extremely liberal, so a relationship would have to ignore that difference and that’s just about impossible.
    Anyway, I was bored and tired and I thought, “What the hell. I’ll message her and if she responds, great, I’ll see where this goes and if she doesn’t, then nothing lost.”

    In one of her pictures, she shows herself aiming a long rifle off her back deck. Maybes the neighbors keep throwing dead cats into her yard, who knows? But she looks terrific and she’s an ESI Aggressor subconsciously looking for a Victim (know your audience), so I wrote to her and said that she had a good face and I was impressed by her degree but I only own a .22 and her gun looks bigger than mine. Lol.

    As an ESI, she might like that. As a conservative, traditional woman, she would hate that statement. But you know, sometimes you just DGAF.

    We’ll see if she replies. I’m not holding my breath.

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    You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have absolutely no idea how to approach women.


    One major problem I have is that my emotional range runs the gamut from A to C.

    On the one side, I’d say to a woman:
    ”Man with job, car, apartment, seeks woman for fun and adventure. Reply 800-555-1212.”

    If I wanted to express my feelings from the depths of my soul, I might say:

    ”You look really good and seem smart. There’s something going on inside your head that I like, and you don’t get on my nerves.
    You’re definitely hot enough to have sex with and you’d show well to my friends.
    Let’s get together and see if beauty and sex and fun is enough to keep a relationship going.”

    See? A to C.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 12-27-2020 at 03:34 PM.

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    @Adam Strange " but not as my next victim" ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    @Adam Strange " but not as my next victim" ?
    @Kalinoche buenanoche, I find that most of the women I meet are boring, tiresome, or crazy. I have to imagine that women feel the same way about the men they meet. Add in the fact that men have 100X the testosterone that women have and I would think that, for a woman, dating could seem to be a fairly dangerous thing.

    I was thinking Hannibal Lecter when I wrote that “victim” comment. I’m pretty sure that most people don’t have those expectations when they go on a date, but it’s there in the background.

    My approach to human relations is to try to help the other person be better off for knowing me. I try to do that with every single person I meet. But strangers have no way of knowing that that is my core motivation.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 12-27-2020 at 04:27 PM.

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    @Adam Strange That's the general problem with dating sites. Women get so many messages and matches that it can be a slog to see who's sent things, especially if you're not using paid versions (& frankly a lot of those messages are rather distasteful for my own preferences). Men get so few messages and matches that the effort seems tiresome and often like time wasted. Personally, the intro you wrote seems thoughtful and interesting, and shows you actually read her profile and had something to connect with her over to continue conversation.

    Dual-seeking especially is hard online when you can't gauge facial expressions, mannerisms, tone of voice, etc. In person I can spot an LSE a mile away, online I don't trust my ability to VI and can't tell if someone's got a scarce profile because they're too busy with other things outside of online dating (which would be a good sign) or because they're antisocial and expecting me to make more "first moves" (which I'd really rather not).

    Edited to add, oh & I agree about using romance styles. I'm 100% not going to say straight up "will you take care of me?" but it's the art of implying it to subtly appeal to the caregiver lol. You're right about the suspicion regarding men's motivations. It makes things even more impersonal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by megedy View Post
    @Adam Strange That's the general problem with dating sites. Women get so many messages and matches that it can be a slog to see who's sent things, especially if you're not using paid versions (& frankly a lot of those messages are rather distasteful for my own preferences). Men get so few messages and matches that the effort seems tiresome and often like time wasted. Personally, the intro you wrote seems thoughtful and interesting, and shows you actually read her profile and had something to connect with her over to continue conversation.

    Dual-seeking especially is hard online when you can't gauge facial expressions, mannerisms, tone of voice, etc. In person I can spot an LSE a mile away, online I don't trust my ability to VI and can't tell if someone's got a scarce profile because they're too busy with other things outside of online dating (which would be a good sign) or because they're antisocial and expecting me to make more "first moves" (which I'd really rather not).

    Edited to add, oh & I agree about using romance styles. I'm 100% not going to say straight up "will you take care of me?" but it's the art of implying it to subtly appeal to the caregiver lol. You're right about the suspicion regarding men's motivations. It makes things even more impersonal.
    @megedy, your comment about finding many men's messages distasteful is exactly what I believe is most women's experience. On the positive side, this acts as a filter, so when the SLE messages you and says "Let's get a room and then we can go golfing later", you might think "Eeew", but an IEI might think, "Hmmm, sounds promising."

    As for women's suspicion regarding men's motivations, what do you think they are? I mean, I really don't know how most women perceive men or their motivations. Personally, I'm motivated to have sex with an intelligent, attractive woman and if she sticks around and improves my world, all the better. If she can have kids and would be a good mother, then Jackpot! But if a woman is even slightly problematic (not smart, not attractive, not stable, or any other of the myriad things I've seen over the years), then I just pass. Getting out of a relationship is just as hard as getting into one.

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    When I was first divorced, my LSE buddy came over and asked me if I was dating yet. I told him I was just trying to get some steady ground under my feet, but I guessed that I should be dating. I told him that the bar scene was not appealing and my social life after years of marriage was zilch. I'd looked at some dating sites, but I wasn't ready to put myself out there as a profile just yet.

    He laughed and asked me which dating services I'd considered?

    I told him that I'd heard of OK Cupid, Match, and E Harmony, but I didn't know anything about them.

    "Then you should check out the competition. Do you have a computer? Let's look at some dating sites."

    I turned on the computer and he started typing away gleefully.
    "Here's Craig's List. Check out the classified."

    "There's a Craig's List classified section for dating?"

    "Absolutely. Take a look."

    Under the "Women Seeking Men" category were page after page of high school dropouts and women who looked like they'd had their pictures taken by a drunken monkey just after getting out of bed in the morning after a very hard night. Possibly spent with the drunken monkey.

    "What the hell?", I said. My buddy laughed. He'd obviously seen this before.
    "Now look at your competition", he said. "Look at the section "Men Seeking Women".

    I did, and it was a revelation. Again, the guys looked like derelicts. Wasted derelicts. They were posing next to their Trans Ams and Harleys or with a cigarette and a beer in their hands, as if to say, "All this could be yours, babe."

    I also discovered that Craigs List doesn't censor pictures, and some of the guys took advantage of that by showing off everything they've got.

    I looked at Don. He was laughing. I said, "OK, I've seen enough. That shouldn't be hard to beat."

    "No, no, you have to check out the "Men Seeking Men" section."

    I thought about that for a half second, said "No, I don't", and turned off the computer.

    Don had his entertainment for the day, and I learned something valuable. Not everyone has the same expectations as I do.


    Since this is a Socionics site, I'll add that Don is older than I am, works harder than anyone I know, is worth between $10M and $20M, and drives a rusty van and dresses like a cross between a construction worker and a house painter. He bow hunts deer and skins them in his driveway to piss off his rich neighbors. I'd say he was LIE if his Si weren't so quick and his Ni weren't so terrible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    When I was first divorced, my LSE buddy came over and asked me if I was dating yet. I told him I was just trying to get some steady ground under my feet, but I guessed that I should be dating. I told him that the bar scene was not appealing and my social life after years of marriage was zilch. I'd looked at some dating sites, but I wasn't ready to put myself out there as a profile just yet.

    He laughed and asked me which dating services I'd considered?

    I told him that I'd heard of OK Cupid, Match, and E Harmony, but I didn't know anything about them.

    "Then you should check out the competition. Do you have a computer? Let's look at some dating sites."

    I turned on the computer and he started typing away gleefully.
    "Here's Craig's List. Check out the classified."

    "There's a Craig's List classified section for dating?"

    "Absolutely. Take a look."

    Under the "Women Seeking Men" category were page after page of high school dropouts and women who looked like they'd had their pictures taken by a drunken monkey just after getting out of bed in the morning after a very hard night. Possibly spent with the drunken monkey.

    "What the hell?", I said. My buddy laughed. He'd obviously seen this before.
    "Now look at your competition", he said. "Look at the section "Men Seeking Women".

    I did, and it was a revelation. Again, the guys looked like derelicts. Wasted derelicts. They were posing next to their Trans Ams and Harleys or with a cigarette and a beer in their hands, as if to say, "All this could be yours, babe."

    I also discovered that Craigs List doesn't censor pictures, and some of the guys took advantage of that by showing off everything they've got.

    I looked at Don. He was laughing. I said, "OK, I've seen enough. That shouldn't be hard to beat."

    "No, no, you have to check out the "Men Seeking Men" section."

    I thought about that for a half second, said "No, I don't", and turned off the computer.

    Don had his entertainment for the day, and I learned something valuable. Not everyone has the same expectations as I do.


    Since this is a Socionics site, I'll add that Don is older than I am, works harder than anyone I know, is worth between $10M and $20M, and drives a rusty van and dresses like a cross between a construction worker and a house painter. He bow hunts deer and skins them in his driveway to piss off his rich neighbors. I'd say he was LIE if his Si weren't so quick and his Ni weren't so terrible.
    Should be dating? Is there a social obligation to date that I didn't know about?

    I've been on Craigslist before. Put an ad up myself once for other men. Didn't find any success though. One guy messaged me saying I was too young to be "messing up my life." If he thought gay stuff was messing up lives, what was he doing on the gay section himself?

  17. #57

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    @Adam Strange, you=Carrie and Don=Samantha https://images.app.goo.gl/khQiPnpUChYY6BySA

    Does he eat the deer?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramas View Post
    Should be dating? Is there a social obligation to date that I didn't know about?

    I've been on Craigslist before. Put an ad up myself once for other men. Didn't find any success though. One guy messaged me saying I was too young to be "messing up my life." If he thought gay stuff was messing up lives, what was he doing on the gay section himself?
    I guess my comment that I "should be dating" inadvertently revealed that I see myself as someone who is married. Or should be married. And to tell you the truth, being single is not that comfortable to me. I mean, being single means I don't have crazy roommates and I don't have to share and I don't have to consider anyone else when I'm making plans, but I also don't have anyone who gives my life and my work meaning. Strat said something about this in her description of LIE's.

    And honestly, most of my depression recently probably comes from not having anyone in my life who gives it meaning. I need a worthy companion, not just a dinner date or a sex toy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    @Adam Strange, you=Carrie and Don=Samantha https://images.app.goo.gl/khQiPnpUChYY6BySA

    Does he eat the deer?
    I had to look up your reference, since I never saw The Carrie Diaries. *< edited for lack of research.*

    And yes, he eats the deer he kills. He shares it with his family. I'm pretty sure they hate it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @megedy, your comment about finding many men's messages distasteful is exactly what I believe is most women's experience. On the positive side, this acts as a filter, so when the SLE messages you and says "Let's get a room and then we can go golfing later", you might think "Eeew", but an IEI might think, "Hmmm, sounds promising."

    As for women's suspicion regarding men's motivations, what do you think they are? I mean, I really don't know how most women perceive men or their motivations. Personally, I'm motivated to have sex with an intelligent, attractive woman and if she sticks around and improves my world, all the better. If she can have kids and would be a good mother, then Jackpot! But if a woman is even slightly problematic (not smart, not attractive, not stable, or any other of the myriad things I've seen over the years), then I just pass. Getting out of a relationship is just as hard as getting into one.
    See, for me it's the opposite. Maybe it's a delta thing, but I'm not interested in intimacy without connection first, and any man that reverses that order seems suspicious or too "rushed" for me. The most disappointing experiences I seem to keep having are the ones where I'll be having an interesting conversation with someone, and then they ask when I'm going to meet them at their place. Always feels much too soon. I almost appreciate it when men have profiles that say blatantly they're just "here for a good time" with a shirtless picture of themselves in front of their jeep and their latest hunting trophy, because then at least I know we're not compatible from the get-go.

    Your experience after your divorce is somewhat similar to mine. My very good LIE friend immediately (as in, before the paperwork was even finished yet) set me up with the dating app she'd had the most success with personally, and told me which filters I should be using on matches. Ultimately it was too soon & I wasn't interested at the time, but it's very like her to not be comfortable being alone for too long & not wishing the same on others. And her advice was useful later for "selling myself" & spotting the...well, trash lol.

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    I tried online dating a few times but didn’t have the patience for it so I’d delete. I don’t want to talk to someone all day. I don’t want to spend any time on anyone who’s not good looking. But mostly, I just hate delusional people and the shit they spew.

    Online dating is mainly intuitives trying hard to appear like they’re sensory types. They’re ones who brag about how successful they are so they traveled the world by the time they’re 28 and have a ton of money because they’re well-educated with a great career are intuitives. They don’t know how scale what’s realistic and what’s not so they just throw everything in their profile to appear “attractive” when what they say is totally made up. They just don’t understand they’ve given away their tells through their lies. I mean, if you’re all that, then why are you on a rickety, free dating site?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiana View Post
    I tried online dating a few times but didn’t have the patience for it so I’d delete. I don’t want to talk to someone all day. I don’t want to spend any time on anyone who’s not good looking. But mostly, I just hate delusional people and the shit they spew.

    Online dating is mainly intuitives trying hard to appear like they’re sensory types. They’re ones who brag about how successful they are so they traveled the world by the time they’re 28 and have a ton of money because they’re well-educated with a great career are intuitives. They don’t know how scale what’s realistic and what’s not so they just throw everything in their profile to appear “attractive” when what they say is totally made up. They just don’t understand they’ve given away their tells through their lies. I mean, if you’re all that, then why are you on a rickety, free dating site?
    interesting, because I got the exact opposite impression. intuitives are idealists, they are mostly searching for true love, a soulmate, eternal love, while sensing types are very pragmatic. intuitives pay little attention to someones appearance (they have their preferences of course), but they focus on the other person's potential. I personally find online dating extremly unromantic, and I got the feeling that it's mostly used by sensing types, especially from beta and gamma. I also think they are the ones who brag about their appearance and status, because that's what they focus on, while intuitives prefer to mention their interests.

    I don't have that much experience with online dating overall though. tinder is even very disgusting to me.
    my ideas about socionics:

    https://soziotypen.de/thoughts-on-socionics/

    the section will be updated ever other month or so.

    this is a VI thread with IEI examples

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...-(IEI-edition)

    and this is a thread with EIE examples

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...s-EIE-examples

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    Quote Originally Posted by dead account View Post
    interesting, because I got the exact opposite impression. intuitives are idealists, they are mostly searching for true love, a soulmate, eternal love, while sensing types are very pragmatic. intuitives pay little attention to someones appearance (they have their preferences of course), but they focus on the other person's potential. I personally find online dating extremly unromantic, and I got the feeling that it's mostly used by sensing types, especially from beta and gamma. I also think they are the ones who brag about their appearance and status, because that's what they focus on, while intuitives prefer to mention their interests.
    Online isn’t an interesting for sensory types as a general thing. It’s specifically a lot of Ne imagination. People like to invent stuff about themselves, play up on their fantasies- all that is intuition. Intuitives don’t necessarily want to find their “true” love or whatever because in order for you do that- you’d need to be realistic about yourself and others and that requires a lot of Se. The ones want to find their true love are vastly SFs. Anyone can brag about their “achievements” especially when it’s fake and exaggerated but it’s intuitives who go overboard with it because they’re not realistic and trying to play up on what they believe to be the most “attractive.” The skeptics of online dating are mostly sensory types since they’re not able to deal with others in the flesh. Online isn’t real to sensory since anyone can be anything and you can’t really know someone well when you have to jump through massive hoops to weed out what’s an online persona vs what’s their real persona. Total headache and pointless.

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    Fe

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    There's a Craig's List classified section for dating?
    This is somewhat off-topic, but IIRC a lot of under-the-table sex work used to be sold over Craigslist. All that rundown humanity (both the men and women) could have been junkies working as lower class prostitutes, using Craigslist to secretly advertise their services.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    This is somewhat unrelated, but IIRC a lot of under-the-table sex work used to be sold over Craigslist. All that rundown humanity (both the men and women) could have been junkies working as lower class prostitutes, using Craigslist to secretly advertise their services.
    @xerxe, I'd say that sounds about right, based upon what I saw.

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    My impression is LSEs don’t particularly like hanging out online, or even on dating apps, that much...
    or even if they did it’s unlikely to yield to a serious relationship because they prefer something that is more present, immediate, “real” if you will

    idk
    That’s how all the 4D Se types are. It’s not real unless it’s right there.

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    Spotting the types on dating apps is important, but so is identifying other measures of a person.

    For a couple years now, I've been seeing with increasing frequency statements from women who write some variation on "If you support the current president (meaning Trump), then we won't get along."

    I haven't seen the same thing from conservative women yet, until today.

    "I’m a conservative! I love this country and our President! If you do not, don’t bother reading any further! "

    (All of her subsequent statements were also short and exclamatory. As if she were shouting.)

    It's nice when people know what they want, and more importantly, what they don't want.

    Americans started separating in the 1980's, when the conservatives moved out of my very liberal neighborhood to buy larger houses in the countryside. I thought at first that it was a decision based on how much house vs. how far they want to drive to buy milk, but I evidently missed the true basis of this sorting process.

    Now the countryside is red and the cities are blue, and the dating apps have "conservative/liberal" options boxes to check. We are already two cultures. Soon we will be two civilizations.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-19-2021 at 11:53 PM.

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    So there's a socionics based dating app being produced with a release date of 2/14. I'm looking forward to downloading it and talking to the 3 other Americans and 0 LSEs that end up using it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    I think the only problem is how the idea would appeal to other people. I know similar MBTI dating apps released before, but not sure if they got traction (probably not)
    I tried Birdy, but it wasn't active so most of the matches were from overseas and with a wild age range. Also it only ever stuck me with other NF/NT types, with no option to change it so you couldn't really "game it" into ITR lol.
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Really? Well that sucks. Were the typings accurate for these NF/NTs at least?
    I don't know for sure, I didn't match up with a lot of them haha. It got pretty boring pretty quick. It said ENFJ was the ideal partner for INFP so I saw a lot of those profiles. They seemed accurately typed from a glance, at least.

    There were also a lot of INTJs which in mainstream MBTI comes off as a red flag for me. "yeeees i'm a mastermind nobody understands me because i'm just so rational and logical and also I don't have Fe so that's why people don't like me and can't handle my logic" lol
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Lmao
    (disclaimer that i like the ILIs I've met IRL & it's just as bad with INFPs in mainstream MBTI but I didn't see their profiles on Birdy)
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    I frequent Reddit a lot and it's pretty much an unspoken rule that if you are antisocial, have your life together and if you are smarter than most people, off to the INTJ sub you go lol
    (If you don't have your shit together, then INTP)
    MBTI is so much fun. It's like eating caramel ice cream with whipped cream and syrup and cherries. It is so easy and it tastes so great and it is Oh, so bad for you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    I frequent Reddit a lot and it's pretty much an unspoken rule that if you are antisocial, have your life together and if you are smarter than most people, off to the INTJ sub you go lol
    (If you don't have your shit together, then INTP)
    If you're a woman and you fit that criteria you go to INFJ/INFP. The difference is you're antisocial because you're just so sensitive and ethical that no one understands your feelings.



    ^^^ I hate her so much. ^^^
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    Quote Originally Posted by megedy View Post
    I don't know for sure, I didn't match up with a lot of them haha. It got pretty boring pretty quick. It said ENFJ was the ideal partner for INFP so I saw a lot of those profiles. They seemed accurately typed from a glance, at least.

    There were also a lot of INTJs which in mainstream MBTI comes off as a red flag for me. "yeeees i'm a mastermind nobody understands me because i'm just so rational and logical and also I don't have Fe so that's why people don't like me and can't handle my logic" lol
    As my marriage was disintegrating and I was dipping my toes into the theories of best interpersonal matches, I spent some time on MBTI sites looking for what wiser and more experienced people said was the best match for an ENTJ, and the consensus seemed to be an INTP or an ISTP.


    Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTJ's natural partner is the INTP, or the ISTP. AN ENTJ's dominant function of Extraverted Thinking is best-matched with a personality type that is dominanted by Introverted Thinking. The ENTJ/INTP match is ideal, because it also shares the common Intuitive way of looking at the world, but the ENTJ/ISTP match is also very good. How did we arrive at this?

    How, indeed?

    Well, in MBTI, my LII sister is an INTP and let me say, I like her but I'd never want to be married to her.

    And regarding the ISTP, I think they mean an LSI, and I had an LSI for my first GF and again, let me say, I loved her but I didn't want to marry her. And even it we allow some leeway in translation to take the ISTP to mean an SLI, it was an SLI that I was trying to get away from.

    So much for theories based upon anecdotes.

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    lol MBTI sure loves grouping people by basically clubs. That's the problem with a system that says your type can change by the day, it's like the only nearly constant thing they think they can predict.

    I think the best dating app that would use socionics ITR would be one that just came out as a regular dating app with a personality quiz that didn't give you a direct label. eHarmony style or something, but hide the socionics bit in some small text so the few English speakers seeking it out can find it without scaring off the general public.
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    OK, which type is this woman?

    She works as a registered nurse and she is devoted to her father and son. She works all the time since her divorce and doesn't have any hobbies other than doing things around her house. She enjoyed reading about self-care and motivational books when her friend recommended some to her after her separation.
    She seems to be completely unable to judge the total costs to her of working at a close or a distant hospital for two different wage rates and hourly schedules. She said, "You never know until you try it."
    Her husband cleared out the bank accounts before he left, so she has to work, but she hasn't been able to find a lawyer who will fight for her assets, and keeps getting taken advantage of (she says) by these lawyers who send her bills and accomplish nothing.
    During the separation, her husband told her that he had never been happy with her, which completely took her by surprise. He also said that marriage to her (after she became an RN) had worked out pretty well, financially, for him. He's a pipe fitter for GM.
    She dresses with extreme good taste and likes restaurants with views of the water.

    In her pictures, she normally looks skeptical but looked energized and happy while kayaking on a lake.

    Any ideas?

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    Well you can’t really tell a person’s type based off of their static profile since most people naturally try to tailor the best impression. And even when you meet the person and talked with them, you don’t know if the walls came down or not. It takes a very long time for hobbyists to type others (it’s psychoanalysis) since it’ll be coming from a biased place, especially those who are weak with Se and cannot accurately assess the situation for what it is. My main issue is that through all this shallow, pop psychology treatment MBTI and socionics (along with every typology system) is that in the endless search for self-understanding, most people never quite get there and even when they get close, they change their understanding of who they are and cling to different aspects of their personalities in an attempt to understand themselves as they would like to be instead of what they are. The most common and pathetic version of this process is people often type themselves as something hard to correct, especially superego or superid.

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    Ooh I'll bite

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    OK, which type is this woman?

    ...she is devoted to her father and son.
    Strong Fi

    She works all the time since her divorce and doesn't have any hobbies other than doing things around her house.
    Suggests valued Te. Maybe introverted if she doesn't have a lot of energy to keep up with hobbies when she's working a lot.

    She enjoyed reading about self-care and motivational books when her friend recommended some to her after her separation.
    Took a friend's recommendation, hard to say but maybe Fi valuing and Ni mobilizing? Anybody can be interested in self-development, though.

    Her husband cleared out the bank accounts before he left, so she has to work, but she hasn't been able to find a lawyer who will fight for her assets, and keeps getting taken advantage of by these lawyers who send her bills and accomplish nothing.
    Te-seeking

    She dresses with extreme good taste and likes restaurants with views of the water.
    Se-valuing

    I'm going for ESI if you're dual-seeking. I could be wrong.
    ~we're just out here havin a good time~

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    Quote Originally Posted by megedy View Post
    Ooh I'll bite



    Strong Fi



    Suggests valued Te. Maybe introverted if she doesn't have a lot of energy to keep up with hobbies when she's working a lot.



    Took a friend's recommendation, hard to say but maybe Fi valuing and Ni mobilizing? Anybody can be interested in self-development, though.



    Te-seeking



    Se-valuing

    I'm going for ESI if you're dual-seeking. I could be wrong.
    Thanks, @megedy.

    I thought that dressing well was Si? And that getting into crappy relationships with men and lawyers indicates poor Fi?

    If I were to compare her texts to those of ESI's long on this forum, hers have the implicit sense of self that @ashlesha's have but are much more terse, and she completely lacks the sharp wit of kalinoche. I can't actually think of anyone who writes texts like her. They are short, self-oriented, and seem to be missing random words.

    I think she might be an ESI but she seems to have been raised by Alphas. Her dad definitely looks Alpha and her husband looks Alpha and her son is LII. She has terrifically strong Si, in the sense that she dresses almost exactly like my SLI ex does. That is, with classic good taste and an eye for colors and quality without being flashy. Her Si is so strong that it scares me, quite frankly. I don't need another SLI and I certainly don't want to date an SEI.

    Her Alpha family and her Si could be a low-level problem forever, too. Low level problems are the worst because they don't ever rise to the point of having to be taken care of.

    I'm looking at her with more and more scrutiny the longer we text. Maybe that's a Victim trait, but I should probably just stop worrying.

    It's a good thing I know women who just want to go out and have a good time, in the meanwhile. No worries with them. Lol.

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