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Thread: Do you intentionally try to make yourself understandable?

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    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    Default Do you intentionally try to make yourself understandable?

    Or do you try to be poetic and convoluted?

    or neither/other?

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    I think I try to make both my thinking and communication as crystal clear as possible, usually... unless I’m trying to be ironic or something. And even then I try not to be vague. Generally, I try to simplify my thinking to the bare bones. Then I further simplify in my communication.

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    I can get impatient in conversation, so I think I for the most part try to make myself clear.
    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

    -Carl Jung

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    Yeah the more the person is a stranger the more I’ll slip into being as non-threatening, friendly and understandable as possible. In professional settings that probably means changing my accent to be more neutral and slowing down my speech so everything sounds more deliberate. In social settings I imitate the cadence and pitch of a valley girl since I guess I’ve made a link with that and being approachable. It’s weird because I’m British and often find myself slipping into a slight American accent.

    like slight in the way that Americans never notice but British people do and comment on it
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    I try extremely hard to communicate as simply as possible (I still suck at it), probably to the point I've gone too far to the other side, especially verbally.

    My natural stream of writing and speaking tends towards the technical way of saying things and trying to get across shades of meaning, which doesn't really work for people who don't already think the same way I do.

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    at work I advise the general public on some complicated stuff so often i cant simplify what I’m saying because it’s loaded with technical terms. and I always make a point of stopping every so often and say something like, “wow so that’s an overwhelming amount of information!” “Did that make sense to you? because it was confusing even for me!” “I think we’ve earned a cup of tea after that” With the aim of trying to make them feel better and account for the fact that they probably didn’t find me that understandable
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    I don't give a damn.
    Peeps take whatever they want from which is said. What they take can be based outside of the actual message, like prejudices or whether they like the person talking or not. I've seen people arguing because they used different words to say the same thing, i.e. "forgiving" vs "letting go" as to say moving on with your life and putting down boundaries. Lasted what, two hours? Then they finaly realized they meant the same thing and it fizzled out awkwardly. Funny moments.
    I've seen the opposite too, people getting along over a same word they mean differently. Shitstorm oncoming.

    I can both be painfuly direct or maddeningly vague and all in between, depending on idk, zodiac signs and the phase of the moon maybe?

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    I have a bad habit of defaulting to a longer word over a short one when I'm looking for a synonym. It started because I noticed when reading, it's harder to read a long spaghetti-string of one-syllable words, than an equivalent string of longer ones: larger words have more "mass," forcing readers to slow down as they metabolize the sentence, so they don't miss anything. It's not embellishment, it is not deliberate for me, it's an instinct.
    I'd rather be terse if I could. It's much harder.

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    both. The point is that I'm never casual in my words, not whether it makes sense or not.

    But in general, I dumb the ideas in my head very much to the lowest possible denominator, so I don't wear my voice out.


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    with people I dont know well I try to make myself as clear as possible so they dont get the wrong idea of me, but people close to me already know my deal so its harder for them to misinterpret

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    I try to be as simple, clear and blunt as possible when I'm trying to impart information to others. To make sure they understand. It annoys me when others use needlessly compicated language to seem erudite but fail to make themselves understood and I avoid this as much as possible myself.

    but I like how Nietzsche writes.. so.. meh.
    Last edited by shotgunfingers; 07-17-2020 at 10:35 PM.

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    I try hard to make sure I’m understood correctly (if there is such a thing) but I’m also trying to understand myself

    Sometimes it seems being poetic is an easier and more effective way to help others try to understand
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    Holy shit this is the only good thread I’ve ever made

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    Quote Originally Posted by Melancholie View Post
    The point is that I'm never casual in my words,
    Is that because the voice in your head is also like that? It never feeds you with poop jokes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeris View Post
    Peeps take whatever they want from which is said. What they take can be based outside of the actual message, like prejudices or whether they like the person talking or not. I've seen people arguing because they used different words to say the same thing, i.e. "forgiving" vs "letting go" as to say moving on with your life and putting down boundaries. Lasted what, two hours? Then they finaly realized they meant the same thing and it fizzled out awkwardly. Funny moments.
    I've seen the opposite too, people getting along over a same word they mean differently. Shitstorm oncoming.
    I’ve seen this happen but only with dumb people. So I don’t think it should be considered normal or okay. Bad communication is the cause of most work-related issues, and probably make up a big portion of people-related issues in general. Good point though, it happens.

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    As simple and understandable as possible.

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    A mixture of both. Some things are straightforward. Other things are left up to the interpretation of the audience. Sometimes it's in between. It really depends on what the topic or goal is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Holy shit this is the only good thread I’ve ever made
    (=゜ω゜) yeah, this is a nice thread.

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    I try to be understandable and communicate clearly. I never feel like I'm good enough at it. My focus is I like to be able to explain things clearly. However there is just so much more to communication. For instance, I'm bad at delegating things to others and I believe the best way is to simply give an order (it's what I prefer--I don't like hinting or calling something a request when it's actually a requirement or starting with "could you do..." when it's kind of a requirement), but that's not what I do. I hate imposing power on others so much. I hate telling people what to do. I hate hierarchies and command structures. So when I delegate it may be unclear because I'm a chickenshit. I disagree with the system, with the entire way it's all organized. I feel guilty about being any part of it and then my communication becomes very weak. My interpersonal communication outside of people close to me is bad too. I don't feel like I can interact normally with others.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shotgunfingers View Post
    I try to be as simple, clear and blunt as possible when I'm trying to impart information to others. To make sure they understand. It annoys me when others use needlessly compicated language to seem erudite but fail to make themselves understood and I avoid this as much as possible myself.

    but I like how Nietzsche writes.. so.. meh.
    Nietzsche is pretty terse. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" Not much dancing around the point there. If you talk like a German author, you can't go wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Or do you try to be poetic and convoluted?

    or neither/other?
    Depends on my mood. Usually I try to be understood. If I'm feeling playful or artistic, sometimes I like to get poetic or sprinkle about inside jokes or references (occasionally internal to just myself).
    INFj / EII / FiNe
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    I don’t really understand why anyone would try to be poetic/convoluted
    - Can filter interlocutors by intelligence / compatibility / interest that way
    - People can often misunderstand others no matter how clear they’re being
    - Self-entertainment / artistic expression

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    Quote Originally Posted by Psych View Post
    1 - you can inherently filter people by intelligence/compatibility anyway
    2- sure
    3 - ok but done in that beta NF way I guess I just don’t care for it
    Ok well I don’t care for you either

    Bitch

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    Depends on if I feel like, we both earned it via a connection. I won't go out of my way to make myself understandable to just anybody though because that feels... futile to me.

    As an IEI I am sort of 'poetic' naturally as well even when I'm washing the dishes or cutting the grass. I don't have to try be that way it's just so organic. I am not even really being particularly fluffy or wordy either, it just comes across like that. I do it so organically without trying.

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    yeah but also no

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    I really strive to make difficult ideas simple and understandable. But the things I talk about tend to be more technical, and I don't like to sacrifice generality/correctness, so it's always a struggle. I'm generally overly terse actually, so I try to offset this by giving examples and things.

    Other people often accuse me of oversimplifying so it's safe to say that I'm not on the arcane/convoluted end of the spectrum. My philosophy is the quote by David Hilbert: "A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street."

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    Sometimes.

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