Identity vs Benefit for marriage

[BrainlessSquid]

Which ITR is potentially better for marriage between the two?

I know Identity means better communication/understanding --> less misunderstandings, but benefit has the Leading-Activating/Creative-Suggestive interaction, which results in a more complementary relationship.

Share any experiences if you have

[consentingadult]

I have not been in any LTRs with other IEEs, but experience has taught me that they are as unreliable as I am (or used to be). Basically, on a psychological level, you can't really keep any secrets from your identical, at at least such is the case with IEEs.

I know some IEE women that I know they want something from me in the area of intimacy. The also know that I know. I in turn, know that they know. But this never gets outspoken. We all know the possibility exists, but neither of s is in a positions to make it happen, and even if we were to make it happen, it probably wouldn 't last. We thrive on the possibility.

as to Benefit relations: again going by experience, I'd probably get along better with with ESIs than ESEs. But even with ESIs, thing would be pretty frustrating.

And things get a lot worse when you are experienced in Socionics, for nothing ever really surprises you anymore.

[myresearch]

I have not been in any LTRs with other IEEs, but experience has taught me that they are as unreliable as I am (or used to be). Basically, on a psychological level, you can't really keep any secrets from your identical, at at least such is the case with IEEs.

I know some IEE women that I know they want something from me in the area of intimacy. The also know that I know. I in turn, know that they know. But this never gets outspoken. We all know the possibility exists, but neither of s is in a positions to make it happen, and even if we were to make it happen, it probably wouldn 't last. We thrive on the possibility.

as to Benefit relations: again going by experience, I'd probably get along better with with ESIs than ESEs. But even with ESIs, thing would be pretty frustrating.

And things get a lot worse when you are experienced in Socionics, for nothing ever really surprises you anymore.

You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.

[Adam Strange]

You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.

I have a sister-in-law who is my Benefactor IEE-Ne, and a bookkeeper who is IEE-Fi, and while I like them both, I think I'd work pretty hard to avoid being in a relationship with either of them.

I also know an Identical LIE female, 36 yo, and I wouldn't mind having a short fling with her, but I can't see long-term there at all.

[Sol]

Identity should be some better. It's harder to find long friends/pals with order IR, while identity or mirror are many.

[consentingadult]

You got confused, I assume because of writing in a hurry, LIE and ESE have benefit relations with IEE.

You're right, I vaped too much weed last night.

[Tallmo]

Identity is pretty good, maybe the best of all itr. Very common.

[Rebelondeck]

Identity has about the same mediocre potential as activity partners but is about a third better than benefit; I've seen an IEI-partnership fail miserably because each couldn't metaphorically feed off the other, and I know of one decades-long benefit relationship but they seem live in different parts of the house.

a.k.a. I/O

[BrainlessSquid]

Identity is pretty good, maybe the best of all itr. Very common.

I agree for friendship. I'm not sure about marriage.

[PinKDiGiT18]

Identity has about the same mediocre potential as activity partners but is about a third better than benefit; I've seen an IEI-partnership fail miserably because each couldn't metaphorically feed off the other, and I know of one decades-long benefit relationship but they seem live in different parts of the house.

a.k.a. I/O

mediocre? �� hunny, ok if you wanna call identity mediocre I get it, but activity is a bombbb experience. there are few people I admire and connect with as much as my activators. The best marriage I’ve ever seen has been an activity relationship (decades long) and they keep romance alive like nobody’s business.

[PinKDiGiT18]

Ironically, my mom is my benefactor and my papa was my identical.

Mom is my best friend, but raising me was quite a rocky road for her. It is stressful wanting to support someone but not knowing how, and I can understand this sentiment with my own beneficiaries. On my part as a beneficiary, the demands and desire to please can also be difficult to hurdle. I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my mom for anything, but I don’t know if such a dynamic would be so fitting for marriage.

With Papa, I was a daddy’s girl. He understood me in a wordless way, and knew exactly how to comfort me and help me relax. Losing him at a young age hit me hard, because I loved my family but nobody else had that sort of bond with me. Generally, I viewed him as very strong and independent; but in his moments of need, I often got a sense that I couldn’t help him. Nevertheless, he forever stands in my mind as the most awesome man I know. I think the rather no-stress nature of the identity relation can make for a decent marriage. I have a family member who married an identical, and together they had a dual baby. They seem just as well off as they can be.

[Computer Loser]

From the socionics website:

In order for Identical relations to last, one partner has to take a role of the Dual as if it was a Duality relationship. Usually it happens naturally. If the two are introverts, one often subconsciously attempts to take care of the extroverted side of things, if the two are thinking types, then one would try to fill the resulting emotional void etc. Different backgrounds and function developments of Identical partners could help in this case, however as with any other relationship there has to be a driving forc e behind it to keep it going.

I could definitely see myself trying to EIE myself if I was with another LSI but that sounds exhausting lol

Also wanted to add,

#1 predictor of marriage success; time spent together
#1 predictor of marriage divorce; contempt

[Rebelondeck]

mediocre? �� hunny, ok if you wanna call identity mediocre I get it, but activity is a bombbb experience. there are few people I admire and connect with as much as my activators. The best marriage I’ve ever seen has been an activity relationship (decades long) and they keep romance alive like nobody’s business.

Activity partners seem to connect OK in that many can communicate well but they can't seem to easily work on the same project together. If they can arrange a total separation of duties and responsibilities, they can then work in close proximity to one another and be quite congenial to one another. It's needing to depend on one another that seems to create disappointment and often mistrust. As an aside, the way you opened your remarks is unlike any EII that I've ever known.....

a.k.a. I/O

[FDG]

Identity isn't a bad relationship, it's often ranked as second-best. Romantically be be a bit harder for logical types.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Identity would win, but not by a long shot or anything. Dual or activity or even mirror would probably be better to me in ways but... I'd always recommend marrying or dating inside your quadra.

The biggest challenge I would think the Identity pair would face would be not trolling each other too badly because I think two Identical people can really know how to get under each other's skin. Like I could see two IEIs both sadistically hating each other for being 'weak' and not killing the spider in the house easily and strongly like an SLE would or something? lol. Hmm. I think this would be the biggest challenge to overcome... what kinda factors would make the Identical ppl not be mean to each other and purposefully provoke weak spots?

IEI wife: "god George I just wish sometimes you were an alpha male"
IEI husband: "Yeah well damn I wish you were too..."

[MarilynDutil]

I can't be completely sure, but I think my wife and I are duals. Duals are almost opposites, each of which behaves differently from its companion. Duals don't necessarily understand each other in everything, but their life principles are similar. They feel good both physically and psychologically. The feeling of comfort is also transmitted to others. That's probably why when we read the article about ways to save money on a wedding, we came to one decision and discussed everything easily without quarrels. We generally don't have strong quarrels because we are ready not to talk to each other. I'm glad that our future family will have such an idyll.

[Alomoes]

Well, just off the principles of what marriage is, I'd go with a non-asymmetric relationship type.

Second of all, here's how benefit works. You meet the person, you both look at each other, and communicate for some reason. You both think you're both cool, but this won't last. Temporarily, one person gets the upper hand and starts providing tons of self fulfilling information or service or whatever. The other person provides fulfilling information or whatever for the second person because it's easy, and the first person shuts up because they're getting what they want. Eventually after the one person stops receiving what they want, the other person starts talking again. Problem? None so far.

Problem begins because it's annoying for one of the people to partake in this relationship, and the gain is not so much. So eventually one person is entirely exhausted, and the other person can continue on, but for no gain. And yeah, I've theorized that it can be beneficial to operate for no gain in this case, and simply force the emotional distance to close, but I have no clue if it's possible or fulfilling, and would probably die doing that kind of thing. Knowing me, I probably have done it before inadvertently without even realizing it, but my suspect is a very weird person who was advocating very weird things, it was as if I felt obligated to check this person's sanity, and turns out they were having some issues, and I talked to them for a while. After I broke through, I found another layer, and the process restarted. That's kind of annoying, and the gain of such a thing is not worth the effort if they're going to close off to you later. I have my ways of doing this, but I have a life, and the first time took an entire day of dedicated conversation. TL;DR, the person needs actual therapy, and I'm better than nothing, but I'm not a real therapist, I ain't getting paid to talk out your weird issues. I'm just a concerned citizen who realizes not everyone can afford to go to therapy, so next best thing you know? (And I don't even mean money here, gonna try to kill the capitalist gamma trope. Pretty sure their family would be quite anti-therapy until the bomb exploded. Social capital is a thing.) And yeah, the person was in need of therapy, I'm not going into it, but they needed someone to talk to. It was bad. A time bomb. I hope I band-aided enough to get them through whatever their issue was.