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Thread: HSP a.k.a. Highly Sensitive Person

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    Well I relate to the first two categories in the article @thegreenfaerie (sensitivity about oneself and about others) but not to the third one (sensitivity about one's environment). In the first two categories, I identify with almost every point but in the third one maybe one, or two points max.

    I suspect they are actually different forms of sensitivity: emotional vs acute senses.


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    I don't like feeling different from other people. Something doesn't sit right when enneagram 4 types, especially, tell me I'm unique and or gifted. I think everyone had gifts, and much of the language used to talk about these things is counterproductive (see Don't Tell Kids They Are Smart) and segregational. I really wanted to have adhd becuase then my hyperarousal made more sense without people fawning over me in a way that made me feel self-conscious and as though I was being asked to participate in a delusion. The tests don't show adhd, so I'm left with intensity that doesn't meet bipolar criteria, either.

    I prefer the sensitivity explanations. I am an ectomorph, and philosopher de Beauvoir theorized caution or sensitivity could result from inhabiting a delicate corpse. I'm not weak. I lift people's furniture as a hobby when they move. And I was a commuter cyclist for a decade. But, I'm wiry. And I am entj-reckless with my body, but it screams at me 'No' pretty often...Like when I want to dive for low footballs but have 15% bodyfat and no padding nor health insurance. .

    I keep reading articles education professionals write about their 'gifted' students and their mental distress at things like racism or sexism or genocide. I've always been like that. It's systemic thinking, I thought. But I don't know. I don't like it being portrayed as a 'gifted' thing. I think that others(verb) those not deemed gifted, when ...everyone has some gifts.

    This all reminds me of the orchid kid and dandelion kid hypothesis. I think that's useful
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    oh, and if you've lived through your life being in danger and have those genes, I think it ups your sensitivity even more.

    I sat in the back of the enormous lecture auditorium, and the recent vet next to me and I were analyzing our choice. He said: "You know, in case anything were to go down."
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I don't like feeling different from other people. Something doesn't sit right when enneagram 4 types, especially, tell me I'm unique and or gifted. I think everyone had gifts, and much of the language used to talk about these things is counterproductive (see Don't Tell Kids They Are Smart) and segregational. I really wanted to have adhd becuase then my hyperarousal made more sense without people fawning over me in a way that made me feel self-conscious and as though I was being asked to participate in a delusion. The tests don't show adhd, so I'm left with intensity that doesn't meet bipolar criteria, either.

    I prefer the sensitivity explanations. I am an ectomorph, and philosopher de Beauvoir theorized caution or sensitivity could result from inhabiting a delicate corpse. I'm not weak. I lift people's furniture as a hobby when they move. And I was a commuter cyclist for a decade. But, I'm wiry. And I am entj-reckless with my body, but it screams at me 'No' pretty often...Like when I want to dive for low footballs but have 15% bodyfat and no padding nor health insurance. .

    I keep reading articles education professionals write about their 'gifted' students and their mental distress at things like racism or sexism or genocide. I've always been like that. It's systemic thinking, I thought. But I don't know. I don't like it being portrayed as a 'gifted' thing. I think that others(verb) those not deemed gifted, when ...everyone has some gifts.

    This all reminds me of the orchid kid and dandelion kid hypothesis. I think that's useful
    I don't like the term "gifted" either, but the concept it designates is valid. There are two reasons why I don't like it. First, it gives an impression of superiority, without addressing the issues such individuals may have. Second, it is not intellectually neutral since it implies something about divine intervention in one way or another, "gifts".

    In French we use "haut potentiel" meaning "high potential" to refer to individuals who have a greater capacity to solve intellectual or emotional problems. The concept is valid because such individuals need to identify how they function differently from others, in a qualitative sense. Alot of these people are in situations of academic or professional setbacks if not total failure. This is because society (school, education etc) has a way of imposing problem-solving strategies that are not compatible with how these individuals function.

    We certainly need to talk about this more, because if we don't these individuals become lost and may even get destroyed by life's circumstances. If aware of who they are, they can function well above what others are able to do in terms of problem solving. I have seen high potential individuals in both cases.

    Note that all high potentials are HSPs as a rule, but not all HSPs have high potential.


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    Today's Sigmund comic:



    1. I'm Highly Sensitive, not? ... No you're not, quite common
    2. But I am prone to depressions? ... No you're not, quite common
    3. And my anxieties? ... Very common
    4. And nothing can be done about that?!
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Cat1: Sensitivity About Oneself - APPLIES

    1. Often has difficulty letting go of negative thoughts and emotions - YES

    2. Frequently feels physical symptoms (i.e. stress or headache) when something unpleasant happens during the day - NO

    3. Often has bad days that affect eating and/or sleeping habits in an unhealthy way, such as eating or sleeping too much or too little - YES

    4. Often experiences tension or anxiety - YES

    5. Tends to “beat oneself up” when falling short of own expectations - YES

    6. Is afraid of rejection, even in relatively minor situations - YES, though it's less acute with age

    7. Compares self with others often (in physical, relational, social, work, financial, or other scenarios), and experiences unhappy feelings from negative social comparison - YES

    8. Often feels anger or resentment about situations in life or in society which seem unjust, aggravating, or simply annoying - YES

    7/8

    ---

    Cat2: Sensitivity About Others - 50/50 TOSS UP, THEREFORE LIKELY DOESN'T APPLY

    9. Often thinks/worries about what others are thinking - NOT ALL THAT MUCH, BUT SOMETIMES

    10. Tends to take things personally - YES

    11. Finds it difficult, when triggered by relatively small unpleasantness with people, to just “let it go” - YES, ADMITTEDLY, AT TIMES (I'M TRYNA CHANGE!)

    12. Feels hurt easily - YES ALTHOUGH I'VE TRIED TO HARDEN MYSELF OR WARP MYSELF IN WEIRD WAYS IN RESPONSE AND HURT IS MORE CHAOTIC NOW

    13. Often hides negative feelings, believing they are too strong, turbulent, embarrassing or vulnerable to share; keeps a lot of negative emotions inside - I DUNNO IF I DO THIS MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE DO ON AVERAGE...

    14. Alternatively, often discusses negative emotions with others because there’s a lot of “drama” in one’s life - KIND OF, BUT I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE MANY RELATIONSHIPS

    15. Has a hard time accepting critical feedback, even when it's given reasonably and constructively - YES, BUT I WANT TO BE BETTER

    16. Often feels like people are judgmental, even when there’s no strong evidence - SORT OF BUT THEN I WENT AND BECAME MORE JUDGMENTAL AND NOW IT'S ALL A DISASTER

    17. Often overreacts to real or perceived slights and provocations - SOMETIMES... BUT PROBABLY NOT IN EXCEPTIONAL WAYS OR WITH EXCEPTIONAL FREQUENCY

    18. Often feels awkward in group situations and feels unable to be oneself - YES

    19. Feels self-conscious in romantically intimate situations; excessively worries about partner’s approval; is unreasonably afraid of being judged or rejected by partner - YES

    6/11

    ---

    Cat3: Sensitivity About One’s Environment - POSSIBLY ANOTHER 50/50 TOSS UP. WITH QUESTIONS LIKE "OFTEN FEELS UNHAPPY FOLLOWING PEOPLE'S SOCIAL MEDIA" INVOLVED AND SO FEW "QUESTIONS" I DON'T CONSIDER THIS CATEGORY VERY USEFUL.

    20. Feels uncomfortable in large public crowds, in a room full of people talking, or when too many things are occurring simultaneously - YES. I GET DIZZY AND DISORIENTED.

    21. Feels uncomfortable when exposed to bright lights, loud sounds, or certain strong scents -- I AM MORE BOTHERED BY LOUD SOUND THAN MOST PEOPLE I'VE NOTICED (IT CAUSES ME TO STARTLE AND INTERRUPTS MY THOUGHTS AND I GET IRRITATED), I AM LESS BOTHERED BY STRONG SCENTS THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE DUE TO NOT BEING ABLE TO NOTICE THEM FOR A WHILE OR AT ALL (GENERALLY I FIND ALL THE PEOPLE SNIFFING ABOUT INQUIRING ABOUT SMELLS ANNOYING), I DON'T KNOW IF BRIGHT LIGHTS BOTHER ME AS I CAN'T SEEM TO FOCUS ON SUCH THINGS. I'M SURE THE LIGHT IS ALWAYS IMPERFECT.

    22. Startles easily at sudden noises, fast traffic, or other unpleasant surprises - YES

    23. Often feels upset when watching or reading negative news in the media. Dislikes “shock” entertainment (i.e. intensely scary or violent shows) - NOT REALLY. I LIKE INTENSITY TO SOME EXTENT. I DON'T LIKE VIOLENCE AND SCARINESS FOR ITS OWN SAKE I SUPPOSE (I LIKE THERE TO BE SOMETHING DEEPER AND MORE CONCEPTUAL ABOUT IT OR SOME WAY IN WHICH I CAN PRETEND THAT IS THERE). AND IT REALLY CAN DEPEND ON MY MOOD. ANYWAY I CAN ENJOY MOVIES THAT ARE BEYOND THE HORROR CAPACITY OF SOME PEOPLE (LIKE EVENT HORIZON ALTHOUGH THE HORROR DID BOTHER ME AND IT TOOK YEARS TO WATCH IT AGAIN AFTER THE FIRST VIEWING) WHILE THERE IS NO WAY I'D WATCH CERTAIN HORROR MOVIES (LIKE THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE). I CAN ENJOY "AWFUL" STUFF LIKE THE CRANK MOVIES A GREAT DEAL. I CAN DEFINITELY LET MYSELF GET UPSET ABOUT THINGS IN THE NEWS, BUT IT'S NOT A CONSTANT STATE THAT'S BEEN WITH ME MY ENTIRE LIFE. I SEEM TO GO BETWEEN FEELING LIKE I NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEWS (TO BE INFORMED) AND HAVING ALMOST NO INTEREST IN IT, AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE WHEN I AM MORE PASSIONATE ABOUT THE NEWS ALL I DID WAS CHANNEL MY EMOTIONAL ENERGY IN THAT DIRECTION, ALMOST LIKE THE POINT ISN'T THE NEWS BUT THE EMOTIONAL ENERGY ITSELF FINDING A LAZY EASY GO-TO OUTLET IN WHICH I CAN ARGUE, BUT EVEN MY ARGUMENTATIVE FEELINGS SEEM TO BE GOING THROUGH AN EXTINGUISHMENT PERIOD. IT MAY BE THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE CHEAP DRAMA AND SHOCK ENTERTAINMENT UNTIL IT STARTS BECOMING STUPID AND OVERDONE (WHICH GENERALLY SHOCK ENTERTAINMENT IS); WHEN IT STARTS BECOMING CRINGEY OR I SEEM TO SEE IT AS MEANINGLESS (IGNORING OF COURSE THE OTHER MEANINGLESS THINGS I SOMEHOW HAVE NOT RECOGNIZED AS MEANINGLESS BECAUSE OF SOME SENTIMENTAL ATTACHMENT)

    24. Often feels unhappy when following people’s posts on social media - YES AND UM I FEEL LIKE THIS BELONGS IN CATEGORY 2...

    32/5

    --

    TOTAL: 15/24 OR CLOSET TO THE 50/50 TOSS UP, SO ALAS THE ALL CAPS JOURNEY MUST END!

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    Being such a moody person I can relate to all of these at times, and other times I'm perfectly fine being insensitive towards other people lol. I'm definitely not HSP since I have the ability to not be HSP.


    my senses can be either blunted or intensified.. tbh I don't know if it's by my own will or not.


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    I think the one thing I get really upset over is screaming.. like if someone is disproportionately angry or scared and begins to scream my heart starts racing and I immediately go into fight or flight..

    and this is why I want a woman who ISN'T scared of spiders...

    Really any kind of emotional shit easily gets on my nerves.

    in any relationship there needs to be one person who isn't neurotic and I'm not that person


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chiquichiquaquiles View Post
    I think the one thing I get really upset over is screaming.. like if someone is disproportionately angry or scared and begins to scream my heart starts racing and I immediately go into fight or flight..

    and this is why I want a woman who ISN'T scared of spiders...

    Really any kind of emotional shit easily gets on my nerves.

    in any relationship there needs to be one person who isn't neurotic and I'm not that person
    you're a delight


    It's nice to hear that expressed so bravely and without blaming it on others. Admirable personal insight.

    It's also nice to see the boys who appreciate that kind of thing.

    (I'm not making a move on Chiqui)
    As an aside: I want to be with a man who notices I like meeting intimidating physical challenges (gang fights, spiders, whatev), and I want him to know I feel good when I have challenges.
    Last edited by nanashi; 09-08-2020 at 08:51 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    I don't like the term "gifted" either, but the concept it designates is valid. There are two reasons why I don't like it. First, it gives an impression of superiority, without addressing the issues such individuals may have. Second, it is not intellectually neutral since it implies something about divine intervention in one way or another, "gifts".

    In French we use "haut potentiel" meaning "high potential" to refer to individuals who have a greater capacity to solve intellectual or emotional problems. The concept is valid because such individuals need to identify how they function differently from others, in a qualitative sense. Alot of these people are in situations of academic or professional setbacks if not total failure. This is because society (school, education etc) has a way of imposing problem-solving strategies that are not compatible with how these individuals function.

    We certainly need to talk about this more, because if we don't these individuals become lost and may even get destroyed by life's circumstances. If aware of who they are, they can function well above what others are able to do in terms of problem solving. I have seen high potential individuals in both cases.

    Note that all high potentials are HSPs as a rule, but not all HSPs have high potential.
    The thing is, I think we should express it as a normal variation and a propensity for certain kinds of work but not as across-the-board superior. And unfortunately words like 'high potential' aren't modified by 'in systems design' or in 'conflict resolution', and they end up sounding like uppity chosen ones when we all very much need our mutual humanity and equal worth acknowledged ... and when people soooo easily venerate us for shit that's ...EASY FOR US TO DO. It's way easier for me to Ni-Creative my way through the flaws in a system and help revamp it in minutes of inspiration and pulling Te factoids to back up the whys than it is for me to wash my dishes. Good god does nanashi have to hold her own hand and encourage herself to wash a dish. Feels like I'm dying. lmao
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    The thing is, I think we should express it as a normal variation and a propensity for certain kinds of work but not as across-the-board superior. And unfortunately words like 'high potential' aren't modified by 'in systems design' or in 'conflict resolution', and they end up sounding like uppity chosen ones when we all very much need our mutual humanity and equal worth acknowledged ... and when people soooo easily venerate us for shit that's ...EASY FOR US TO DO. It's way easier for me to Ni-Creative my way through the flaws in a system and help revamp it in minutes of inspiration and pulling Te factoids to back up the whys than it is for me to wash my dishes. Good god does nanashi have to hold her own hand and encourage herself to wash a dish. Feels like I'm dying. lmao
    It's not a propensity for certain kinds of work but a form of cognition that's different from the norm, if we're defining the norm as what is expected out of people by society. Note that the form is cognition is different in a qualitative sense more than in a quantitative one. Their optimal problem solving strategies are different. It's a waste of time trying to tell all people they are all the same, when in fact some people really are different in the way they function and trying to get them to compare themselves to "normal" people is actually damaging. This is not about dressing in black and lighting candles and thinking you are different because of it. High potential individuals have a different cognitive process: much faster thoughts, associative thinking that alot of people might find odd, higher empathy, emotional sensitivity, perfectionism etc.

    Also I think it's best to focus mainly on what we are good at, not on fixing what we are bad at. We can work on our weak spots when it comes to professional or personal strengths but I actually think it's better to focus on strong areas. It brings more fullfillment. I'm not sure what you mean by this...

    "It's way easier for me to Ni-Creative my way through the flaws in a system and help revamp it in minutes of inspiration and pulling Te factoids to back up the whys than it is for me to wash my dishes."

    ...Since revamping a system in practice takes more than few minutes, lol.

    I think what you're saying is that we have to challenge ourselves, not be complacent in what we are used to doing? I agree with that, if that is what you are saying. I also don't know why focusing on what we innately have potential for is being complacent, it actually sounds delusional to think so. Having potential for something doesn't mean it won't be a challenge.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    It's not a propensity for certain kinds of work but a form of cognition that's different from the norm, if we're defining the norm as what is expected out of people by society. Note that the form is cognition is different in a qualitative sense more than in a quantitative one. Their optimal problem solving strategies are different. It's a waste of time trying to tell all people they are all the same, when in fact some people really are different in the way they function and trying to get them to compare themselves to "normal" people is actually damaging. This is not about dressing in black and lighting candles and thinking you are different because of it. High potential individuals have a different cognitive process: much faster thoughts, associative thinking that alot of people might find odd, higher empathy, emotional sensitivity, perfectionism etc.

    Also I think it's best to focus mainly on what we are good at, not on fixing what we are bad at. We can work on our weak spots when it comes to professional or personal strengths but I actually think it's better to focus on strong areas. It brings more fullfillment. I'm not sure what you mean by this...

    "It's way easier for me to Ni-Creative my way through the flaws in a system and help revamp it in minutes of inspiration and pulling Te factoids to back up the whys than it is for me to wash my dishes."

    ...Since revamping a system in practice takes more than few minutes, lol.

    I think what you're saying is that we have to challenge ourselves, not be complacent in what we are used to doing? I agree with that, if that is what you are saying. I also don't know why focusing on what we innately have potential for is being complacent, it actually sounds delusional to think so. Having potential for something doesn't mean it won't be a challenge.
    I'm not sure where you got 'complacent'.

    And I understand having different cognition as being fit for unusual work. My being able to rework systems in minutes is not the only work in the world. Yes. I'm sensitive. Yes, I have associative thinking. Yes, I have the perfectionism. But it is only a piece of the pie of work needed in the world.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I'm not sure where you got 'complacent'.
    It's something I added based on what I had understood you had said. Apologies if that is not what you meant.

    And I understand having different cognition as being fit for unusual work. My being able to rework systems in minutes is not the only work in the world. Yes. I'm sensitive. Yes, I have associative thinking. Yes, I have the perfectionism. But it is only a piece of the pie of work needed in the world.
    I am not denying that at all, I think we're just talking about two different things, haha.


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