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Thread: Breaks on the side wtf?!

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    Default Breaks on the side wtf?!

    Taken from a popular piece on ESFp INTp duals:

    Sometimes the temperamental ESFP grows tired of the coldness and seriousness of his dual. In such cases, he takes a break on the side, but usually this doesnt last long. INTJ is a reliable partner who can understand and forgive, but under one condition: he must see sincere repentance and who better than ESFP can demonstrate this? Thus, INTJ often manages to stabilize his relations with the easily distracted and impermanent in his feelings ESFP.


    Can someone who has seen or experienced a SEE-ILI dual couple explain to me what that breaks on the side bit is about? I keep seeing this and similar things written and I wonder if Im really an ILI, because I dont tolerate two timing.

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    @calm It's a stretch to declare every single person with a particular type a two-timer. I suppose SEEs would be more susceptible to that sort of thing, but I think not tolerating two timing is just a personal value and not anything indicative of type.

    I am SEE and would never tolerate two timing. But in my experience, I do need a lot of stimulation in a relationship, and if I feel like that stimulation is lacking for some reason I go to other sources (rely more on friends, consume escapist media more obsessively) and end up being more indifferent towards whether or not my partner is paying as much attention to me as I'd like. It's worth noting that I don't completely stop communicating, just stop being so focused on that person, which is a felt thing and if left to go on for too long can cause a permanent rift in the relationship, which has happened to me.

    That being said, it really is a "break on the side", as in, once I get that out of my system or my partner decides to pay more attention I come back in full force. If they understand that I sometimes need to go off and do things on my own because they are not readily stimulating enough, then it's all good. So the ILI needs to be reliable in this case, and stabilize the relationship. Which is how I interpret the "break on the side" thing -- not two timing necessarily, just a quest for stimulation. But it can be taken that way, I suppose.
    Last edited by voider; 06-21-2020 at 01:03 PM.

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    I've seen SEEs pioritize other things such as work, travel, spending time with family for extended periods of time, etc. which could be interpreted as a "break on the side", but is not related to two timing or straying in the relationship in the slightest, at least in the cases I'm thinking off.

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