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Thread: Life With a Dual

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    Default Life With a Dual

    This is to people who have specifically LIVED WITH a dual who they are in LTR good terms with

    ( @mrrrmaid @Tommy @Aaron Something ... )

    So I’d like to exclude cases where you guys broke up eventually as that hints at some kind of TR or NTR mismatch or less-than-ideal duality, unless you guys dated and lived together for 5+ years or something.

    How has life with a dual been different from life without a dual around?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    This is to people who have specifically LIVED WITH a dual who they are in LTR good terms with

    ( @mrrrmaid @Tommy @Aaron Something ... )

    So I’d like to exclude cases where you guys broke up eventually as that hints at some kind of TR or NTR mismatch or less-than-ideal duality, unless you guys dated and lived together for 5+ years or something.

    How has life with a dual been different from life without a dual around?
    I don't live with my dual.

    So I do not think I could help much, but i'll still talk... there's a lot of free time to do lots of stuff I normally would do without them around. SLI's give me lots of space and that's something I truly like. Besides the fact that SLI's I know don't get offended by my sense of humour and poking, and they usually know how to retaliate (meanwhile, my female LSE friend just gets mad and punches me, which is also fun), so it's fun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    I don't live with my dual.

    So I do not think I could help much, but i'll still talk... there's a lot of free time to do lots of stuff I normally would do without them around. SLI's give me lots of space and that's something I truly like. Besides the fact that SLI's I know don't get offended by my sense of humour and poking, and they usually know how to retaliate (meanwhile, my female LSE friend just gets mad and punches me, which is also fun), so it's fun.
    That’s a useful response anyway. Do you think you’d want to live with or spend more time around your dual? Why or why not?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    That’s a useful response anyway. Do you think you’d want to live with or spend more time around your dual? Why or why not?
    Totally, I love the physical care they give me and how they can calm my ADHD and anxiety, besides some OCD traits I have.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Totally, I love the physical care they give me and how they can calm my ADHD and anxiety, besides some OCD traits I have.
    I didn’t know that you identified with having such traits, but I could imagine it I guess.

    You remind me a lot of an IEE guy I met (the only one IEE I went as far as to be romantic with a bit, although I did go on a date with another one who turned out to be way more out there crazy), and I once went to his place and it reminded me of Serial Experiments Lain’s room if you’ve ever seen that anime. It was literally like this



    In one room, except spanning an entire room instead of just one wall, and his entire flat was dark/creepy dungeon-esque. It was possible he bought/sold computer parts as a hobby side job, although I remember he told me he was a nurse.

    He still has the same creepy single Mickey Mouse/Michael Jackson glove profile picture on his chat app and occasionally messages me, but I moved away from his area long ago.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    I didn’t know that you identified with having such traits, but I could imagine it I guess.

    You remind me a lot of an IEE guy I met (the only one IEE I went as far as to be romantic with a bit, although I did go on a date with another one who turned out to be way more out there crazy), and I once went to his place and it reminded me of Serial Experiments Lain’s room if you’ve ever seen that anime. It was literally like this



    In one room, except spanning an entire room instead of just one wall, and his entire flat was dark/creepy dungeon-esque. It was possible he bought/sold computer parts as a hobby side job, although I remember he told me he was a nurse.

    He still has the same creepy single Mickey Mouse/Michael Jackson glove profile picture on his chat app and occasionally messages me, but I moved away from his area long ago.
    Cool dude. Yeah, i've charmed people and brough them right in to fuck them while telling them that if I were a serial killer they'd be in deep trouble, that's how I met my LSE friend long ago.

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    Lmao I’m messaging him now @Aaron Something , why not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Lmao I’m messaging him now @Aaron Something , why not.
    Sex with possible serial killer IEE's is something people shouldn't miss.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Sex with possible serial killer IEE's is something people shouldn't miss.
    Lmao. No offense but I actually subjectively found the sex to be the worst I’ve ever had (along with my EII ex). We had also been drinking earlier on tbf but he just went at it like a jackhammer while constantly asking me if I was feeling ok and not being hurt. I mean I guess it’s technically “caring” in a way lol, he was a nice guy too, but just not my thing personally. Some would probably have liked it but I prefer a more active role and to not be asked things repeatedly during sex. Still I thought he was cute and I enjoyed chatting with him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Lmao. No offense but I actually subjectively found the sex to be the worst I’ve ever had (along with my EII ex). We had also been drinking earlier on tbf but he just went at it like a jackhammer while constantly asking me if I was feeling ok and not being hurt. I mean I guess it’s technically “caring” in a way lol, he was a nice guy too, but just not my thing personally. Some would probably have liked it but I prefer a more active role and to not be asked things repeatedly during sex. Still I thought he was cute and I enjoyed chatting with him.
    Yeah, subjective stuff happens. I don't like asking much for some reason unless I feel the other person is quite not okay.

    You prefer a more active role regarding your partners or yourself?

    I personally, as a childlike type, like to do stuff with more active partners who also have some sense of care towards me. Women who like riding me are a 10/10.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Yeah, subjective stuff happens. I don't like asking much for some reason unless I feel the other person is quite not okay.

    You prefer a more active role regarding your partners or yourself?

    I personally, as a childlike type, like to do stuff with more active partners who also have some sense of care towards me. Women who like riding me are a 10/10.
    Until I get bored and want to do it all myself, then I plumet them onto the bed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Yeah, subjective stuff happens. I don't like asking much for some reason unless I feel the other person is quite not okay.

    You prefer a more active role regarding your partners or yourself?

    I personally, as a childlike type, like to do stuff with more active partners who also have some sense of care towards me. Women who like riding me are a 10/10.
    I’m pretty quiet with my Ti, vs. he’s a Japanese male living in Japan only used to squealing girls, so it’s possible that’s why he was constantly asking me for feedback. I noted an SEE male I was with told me things along the lines of “I want to hear your voice more” too.

    Also, that could explain why he wanted to just jackhammer to establish his masculinity or something lol.

    And I prefer a more active role in general, so both I guess.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Until I get bored and want to do it all myself, then I plumet them onto the bed.
    That explains things too lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    I’m pretty quiet with my Ti, vs. he’s a Japanese male living in Japan only used to squealing, so it’s possible that’s why he was constantly asking me for feedback. I noted an SEE male I was with told me things along the lines of “I want to hear your voice” too.

    Also, that could explain why he wanted to just jackhammer to establish his masculinity or something lol.

    And I prefer a more active role in general, so both I guess.


    That explains things too lol.
    Ah, japs are very submissive. No, i'm mostly dominant even if i really appreciate a woman who wants to take control, because female power over me is just something that excites me quite deeply. But hammering a woman onto the bed is amazing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Ah, japs are very submissive.
    Lol, perhaps the girls have been socialized to be so more, especially. It’s pretty male-dominated still though so men are still socialized to act dominant towards women, generally.

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    High mistypings much reduce the importance of what people think about IR practice they have. Having real typing matches of ~17% - close to this should be correct opinions about IR.

    "less-than-ideal duality"
    Jung type may be thought as _one of_ important factors of good long romances. Even in borders of types factors, - good IR does not mean that weak sides of your type do not annoy. Good IR people just easier accept and may easier correct this in close relations, and have higher positive attitude to be motivated for that. It's always less-than-ideal situations - by personal and environment reasons.
    The practice of long close relations is more interesting as IR theory is pointed mainly on this. In surface and short relations, where deep friendship is not supposed, the factor of Jung type is significantly lesser.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    High mistypings much reduce the importance of what people think about IR practice they have. Having real typing matches of ~17% - close to this should be correct opinions about IR.

    "less-than-ideal duality"
    Jung type may be thought as _one of_ important factors of good long romances. Even in borders of types factors, - good IR does not mean that weak sides of your type do not annoy. Good IR people just easier accept and may easier correct this in close relations, and have higher positive attitude to be motivated for that. It's always less-than-ideal situations - by personal and environment reasons.
    The practice of long close relations is more interesting as IR theory is pointed mainly on this. In surface and short relations, where deep friendship is not supposed, the factor of Jung type is significantly lesser.
    Yes, and that’s why I’m asking the way I did, ya dingus. Because longer closer relations are both more likely to be duals and more likely to also be correct about it.

    Also, I do agree with the part of your post which I underlined, as well as the bolded.

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    An example of 10 years union of duals which broke:
    Igor Petrenko (ENTJ) and Yekaterina Klimova (ISFJ)

    Among Igor's remarks about problems he blames only himself. That he used alcohol and often felt tired to pay enough attention to her. That there were long breaks when he for weeks and monthes was not at home, sometimes they could to not talk for weeks.
    Good IR need close relations to work as should, - when people get a distance psychically and physically - types factor reduces.
    Duality helps with a friendship. People may use this by sharing one life together - when they do many things together, when exchange by personal thoughts and feelings, when are physically close.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    An example of 10 years union of duals which broke:
    Igor Petrenko (ENTJ) and Yekaterina Klimova (ISFJ)

    Among Igor's remarks about problems he blames only himself. That he used alcohol and often felt tired to pay enough attention to her. That there were long breaks when he for weeks and monthes was not at home, sometimes they could to not talk for weeks.
    Good IR need close relations to work as should, - when people get a distance psychically and physically - types factor reduces.
    Duality helps with a friendship. People may use this by sharing one life together - when they do many things together, when exchange by personal thoughts and feelings, when are physically close.
    Cool story bro, but I’m looking for more relatable stories and experiences, which is why I’m asking for ones from regular forum members, not ones from fossilized Russians like you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    An example of 10 years union of duals which broke:
    Igor Petrenko (ENTJ) and Yekaterina Klimova (ISFJ)

    Among Igor's remarks about problems he blames only himself. That he used alcohol and often felt tired to pay enough attention to her. That there were long breaks when he for weeks and monthes was not at home, sometimes they could to not talk for weeks.
    Good IR need close relations to work as should, - when people get a distance psychically and physically - types factor reduces.
    Duality helps with a friendship. People may use this by sharing one life together - when they do many things together, when exchange by personal thoughts and feelings, when are physically close.
    Thanks for this, @Sol.

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    @sbbds, I slightly know a male SLE-female IEI couple. They’ve been together for about five years and all their friends say they are the “perfect” couple, but I don’t think this example meets your criteria.

    My very liberal IEI-Fe female cousin knows them and says that she admires what Mike (the SLE) has done with his life, but she couldn’t consider ever being with him, because both Mike and his IEI GF are reactionary conservatives. However, this might be a strong factor in why they are such a good match for each other.

    Personally, when I see a woman describing herself on Match as “liberal”, my finger moves towards her “like” button.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @sbbds, I slightly know a male SLE-female IEI couple. They’ve been together for about five years and all their friends say they are the “perfect” couple, but I don’t think this example meets your criteria.

    My very liberal IEI-Fe female cousin knows them and says that she admires what Mike (the SLE) has done with his life, but she couldn’t consider ever being with him, because both Mike and his IEI GF are reactionary conservatives. However, this might be a strong factor in why they are such a good match for each other.

    Personally, when I see a woman describing herself on Match as “liberal”, my finger moves towards her “like” button.
    Me, a woman. Describes myself as: Liberal. ... * wink *

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    Me, a woman. Describes myself as: Liberal. ... * wink *
    Lol, @NightHawk. If you want to do a sex experiment, I’m all for it. I haven’t had a GF for six months and frankly, I’m desperate. However, be forewarned that sex with Identicals is probably a lot like masturbation.

    If that wasn’t where you were going with this, no problem, and my apologies. Liberals are nice to have around in any circumstances. I find their minds to be more interesting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Lol, @NightHawk. If you want to do a sex experiment, I’m all for it. I haven’t had a GF for six months and frankly, I’m desperate. However, be forewarned that sex with Identicals is probably a lot like masturbation.

    If that wasn’t where you were going with this, no problem, and my apologies. Liberals are nice to have around in any circumstances.
    You could have gone along with the experiment a bit better by not saying you're desperate. That is where I was going with it, but what an awful way to play along. I'll find someone else more suitable to flirt with. I need an internet boyfriend.

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    Are duals really even ideal? What about mirrors?

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    Mirror is pretty bad. Identical is better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    You could have gone along with the experiment a bit better by not saying you're desperate. That is where I was going with it, but what an awful way to play along. I'll find someone else more suitable to flirt with. I need an internet boyfriend.
    Lol, I’m desperate, but secure enough that I’m not gonna lie. With the female LIE that I know in real life, flirting consists of just talking about stuff and looking at each other’s eyes to see if they want to fuck. Which we haven’t, yet. LIE’s are pretty practical. Not much in the way of foreplay.

    Now if I want to flirt, LSI @Myst is the girl for me. Hot, smart, and safely on another continent.

    You should try an intelligent male LSI. Just for fun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Lol, I’m desperate, but secure enough that I’m not gonna lie. With the female LIE that I know in real life, flirting consists of just talking about stuff and looking at each other’s eyes to see if they want to fuck. Which we haven’t, yet. LIE’s are pretty practical. Not much in the way of foreplay.

    Now if I want to flirt, LSI @Myst is the girl for me. Hot, smart, and safely on another continent.

    You should try an intelligent male LSI. Just for fun.
    HAAH funny you mention that. My friend cactagon has an ISTJ friend who lives DOWN THE ROAD from me. He came over to cactagons place, and immediately started flirting with me in a super confident manner. Cactagon having known me since we were young picked up that I was into it, and was smirking, The only problem is the ISTJ is way younger than me. I'm 27 and he's in his early 20's. I have strictly dated guys at least over 35, preferably I like them in their 40s. I did enjoy his flirting style though.

    Edit: I should add that I think Gordon Ramsey is hot and he is apparently ISTJ as well.

    I am unsure of the types of guys I've dated before. I had a very nice relationship with an ESFP in his 40's but intellectually it started to just fall short. He was very peace and love. I need fire. We did a lot of the same things [similar hobbies]. And he was just incredibly sexy, and a massage therapist.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    HAAH funny you mention that. My friend cactagon has an ISTJ friend who lives DOWN THE ROAD from me. He came over to cactagons place, and immediately started flirting with me in a super confident manner. Cactagon having known me since we were young picked up that I was into it, and was smirking, The only problem is the ISTJ is way younger than me. I'm 27 and he's in his early 20's. I have strictly dated guys at least over 35, preferably I like them in their 40s. I did enjoy his flirting style though.

    Edit: I should add that I think Gordon Ramsey is hot and he is apparently ISTJ as well.

    I am unsure of the types of guys I've dated before. I had a very nice relationship with an ESFP in his 40's but intellectually it started to just fall short. He was very peace and love. I need fire. We did a lot of the same things [similar hobbies]. And he was just incredibly sexy, and a massage therapist.
    Yeah, I get all this. I'd say, fuck the guy if you want to try great sex along with a hellish life. Give it three months and then end it. You should do it just for the experience. LIE-LSI is a very TRANSACTIONAL (you do this for me, I'll do that for you) relationship, and the fact that you are older will assist in your struggle for the upper hand. Because while you don't see relationships as a hierarchy, LSI's definitely do. And you don't want to be on the bottom.

    I've dated every introvert in the Socion. I'm only looking for Duals now. And Identicals, if they just want a fling. Lol. But Identicals are not going to give each other that Fi that we seek, deep down.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Yeah, I get all this. I'd say, fuck the guy if you want to try great sex along with a hellish life. Give it three months and then end it. You should do it just for the experience. LIE-LSI is a very TRANSACTIONAL (you do this for me, I'll do that for you) relationship, and the fact that you are older will assist in your struggle for the upper hand. Because while you don't see relationships as a hierarchy, LSI's definitely do. And you don't want to be on the bottom.

    I've dated every introvert in the Socion. I'm only looking for Duals now. And Identicals, if they just want a fling. Lol. But Identicals are not going to give each other that Fi that we seek, deep down.
    I need a MAN. Thank you for the advice though. I'll consider it. He was fun and the confidence was so hot. As an LIE***, can you explain how you feel about us being described as victims? I always tend to make the first move so it's weird to see it described that way.
    Last edited by NightHawk; 06-06-2020 at 03:23 PM.

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    My moms my dual so I think it's just weird for me to end up being with my dual because of that. ick.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    My moms my dual so I think it's just weird for me to end up being with my dual because of that. ick.
    Ok. I just mean romantic relationships only btw lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    I need a MAN.
    @NightHawk, I wasn't suggesting Myst for you. She's quite hetero herself, and so wouldn't be interested. Instead, I was saying that you should consider someone LIKE her, but male. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone on this forum like that right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    Thank you for the advice though. I'll consider it. He was fun and the confidence was so hot. As an LIE***, can you explain how you feel about us being described as victims? I always tend to make the first move so it's weird to see it described that way.
    I never liked the word "Victim" myself, but it is misleading because it has unpleasant connotations in English. Instead, consider it to be a six-digit code for a certain type of Erotic Attitude.

    The current Erotic Attitudes article has been changed from what it was several years ago, perhaps to make it be truer to it's source, but I find the newer version to be less enlightening.

    Under the spoiler is the article as I first read it. I find the earlier version to be more relatable.



    Erotic Attitudes

    by

    silke

    Published on 09-30-2011 04:55 AM Number of Views: 18922

    Erotic Attitudes

    If you are coming from MBTI please note that Socionics assigns j/p letters differently than MBTI. Do not translate your MBTI type directly to Socionics type!!! This will lead to erroneous interpretation of your intertype relations. To read how Socionics is different to MBTI visit the introduction to socionics page. To find out your Socionics type, you can take socionics tests listed on socionics tests and socionics resources threads, read through type and subtype descriptions, find your valued information elements, or make a thread in What's My Type subforum using the questionnaire form for input from other forum members. Prior participation in forum discussions usually leads to more feedback on typing threads and more accurate typing suggestions.

    If you have questions about socionics intertype relations, you can post your inquiry in the Intertype Relations Subforum, or alternatively inquire about it in the forum chatbox (to access forum chat and read hidden sections of the forum please post an introduction to get your account activated).


    Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: LIE (ENTj) ILI (INTp)

    These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.

    Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)

    These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.

    Conquerors: SLE (ESTp) LSI (ISTj)

    These are assertive types who do not flinch at their own sexuality. They will express their own desire without reservation. They are won over by direct shows of submission (only after feeling that they have earned it). He will be insulted if his romantic interest gives him his title without question, and bored if the fight is too easily won. He, like the Pseudo-Aggressor and the Challenger, is questing to find his equal. Someone he can play his almost sadistic games with without "breaking."

    Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj) IEI (INFp)

    These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

    They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.

    Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: IEE (ENFp) EII (INFj)

    These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.

    Teachers: LSE (ESTj) SLI (ISTp)

    If I were to describe this type's approach to love, it would be "serious." He approaches his love interest almost with the intention to "teach." This can quite possibly rub the object of his affection in the wrong way, possibly interpreted as condescension. Like the childlike type, he may tend to live "outside sexuality" and may have to intellectualize it in order to be comfortable. He is looking for a worthy pupil.

    Childlike Types: ENTp (ILE) INTj (LII)

    These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.

    Caregivers: ESE (ESFj) SEI (ISFp)

    These are those types who openly express their need to "protect" and care for their romantic interest. In conversation may often lend a sympathetic ear (which, depending on the person, may be interpreted as insincerity, but it's exactly what the Child-like type is looking for). They are looking for someone who will not only accept their paternal/maternal tendencies, but welcome and thrive on it.


    Romance Styles


    Aggressors: SLE (ESTp), LSI (ISTj), ESI (ISFj), SEE (ESFp)
    The Aggressor types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Se in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, flirting, and the like, in intimate relationships, the irrational ego element Se, coupled with their expectations of Ni style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in an Aggressor's behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Aggressor romance style
    · no doubts about own interest in another person
    · not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest
    · focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate
    · romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness"
    · needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up"
    · this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy
    · in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy"
    · little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously

    This romance style is defined by focus on Se which is static, irrational, and extroverted. This means that an Aggressor sees attraction to another person as a static state, which he feels it is up to him to change in the direction more in agreement to his preference. This accounts for an Aggressor's inclination to take the initiative in approaching the object of his interest and being "relentless" in his pursuit, as well as, even during an established relationship, continuing to try to "shake things up" or "get things moving". If his partner is not receptive to such behavior, this discourages the Aggressor, and results in his interest cooling off.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Aggressors tend to perceive Victims simultaneously as pleasantly able to "keep up" regarding more "intensive" interactions, and also as not annoyingly prone to always wanting "to win". Aggressor women perceive Victim men as totally devoted yet reassuringly "strong".
    · Aggressor: Aggressors tend to perceive other Aggressors as exciting partners worthy of admiration and respect, but ultimately unsatisfactory due to a sense of never-ending competition for an ill-defined "upper hand", which becomes frustrating.
    · Caregiver: Aggressors tend to perceive Caregivers as somewhat boring and patronizing.
    · Infantile: Aggressors tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and unexciting, ultimately not taking them seriously as partners.

    Victims: EIE (ENFj), IEI (INFp), LIE (ENTj), ILI (INTp)
    The Victim types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ni in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the Ego element Ni, coupled with their expectations of Se style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in a Victim's behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style
    · prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
    · not always confident about revealing that interest
    · inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
    · inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
    · preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
    · appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
    · this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
    · in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
    · inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself

    This romance style is defined by focus on Ni which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Victims tend to perceive other Victims as puzzling and inconstant, as if they were playing games or "push-pull" behavior, but also as exciting partners if a stage of "certainty" is reached.
    · Aggressor: Victims tend to perceive Aggressors as pleasantly reassuring of their interest and prone to take the initiative in that area. They find Aggressor's sexual confidence attractive and reflecting positively on themselves.
    · Caregiver: Victims tend to perceive Caregivers as comfortable and up to a point reassuring partners, but also somewhat boring, leading to a sense of stagnation. The Caregiver's inclination to treat them as somewhat helpless is perceived as slightly insulting.
    · Infantile: Victims tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and expecting a kind of attention that the Victims find demanding; Victim women are prone to see Childlike men as irritating.

    Caregivers: ESE (ESFj), SEI (ISFp), LSE (ESTj), SLI (ISTp)
    The Caregiver types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Si in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Si is the most visible factor in determining Caregivers' behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Caregiver romance style
    · attraction is naturally sparked by the perceived aesthetic attributes of the prospective partner, but cooled off if such attributes are accompanied by a perception of "too aggressive" sexuality
    · inclination towards tenderness, "soft" rather than "hard" approach
    · prone to adopt maternal approach to the physical comfort and needs of partner
    · interest is further maintained if partner welcomes this approach
    · prone to assume that partner will need help in practical, daily matters
    · neutral as to who ended a relationship, "power" is not seen as important in such matters

    This romance style is defined by focus on Si which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of the present reality and physical sensations rather than inner imagery. This means that a Caregiver sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural, as he also sees the physical comfort and well-being of another person as dynamic. This accounts for a Caregiver's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's physical well-being. The individual's own dynamic and introverted Si perceptions lead to a sense of sleepy drifting in them, which makes him welcome Ne impulses from another person designed to shake him out of it from time to time.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Caregivers tend to perceive Victims as puzzling and never contented, sometimes as paranoid and insecure.
    · Aggressor: Caregivers tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit over-the-top in their approach to romantic interactions and sexuality and ultimately not pleasant to have stable intimate relationships with.
    · Caregiver: Caregivers tend to perceive other Caregivers as comfortable partners, but ultimately somehow less than satisfactory.
    · Infantile: Caregivers tend to perceive Childlike types as delightful partners with a sense of fun that brings joy to their lives.

    Childlike: ILE (ENTp), LII (INTj), IEE (ENFp), EII (INFj)
    The Childlike types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ne in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Ne, coupled with their expectations of Si style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in manifestation of "childlike" behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Childlike romance style
    · interest is sparked in partner with positive aesthetic attributes divorced from active, "aggressive" sexuality
    · tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior
    · try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things
    · interest is maintained or cools off according to partner's response to this behavior
    · appreciation for partner who actively cares about the individual's comfort and daily needs
    · neutral with regard to externally admitting who took the initiative in ending a relationship, "power" is seen as unimportant in such matters

    This romance style is defined by focus on Ne which is static, irrational, and extroverted, with perceptions focused on possibilities and alternatives to the static present reality, which the individual perceives as intrinsically boring and stagnant. This means that a person of Childlike type sees attraction between two individuals as a static state, also from the point of view of the other person, which he tries to "get moving" by actively thinking of variations of the present static state. This accounts for the inclination of Childlike types to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's being exposed to the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even "weird" side of life, reality, and each other, a behavior that can be described as characteristic of young children. This focus comes together with a sense of helplessness regarding his own physical well being as perceived by Si, so he welcomes help from others in that area.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Childlike types tend to perceive Victims as paranoid and confusing, giving mixed signals.

    · Aggressor: Childlike types tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit too "rough" and even slightly scary on occasion, or perhaps just as obnoxious.

    · Caregiver: Childlike types tend to perceive Caregivers as comforting and pleasant company, with a delightful sense of fun.

    · Childlike: Childlike types tend to perceive other Chidlike types as fun to spend time with but also as helpless and demanding in a way that they see as stressful.





    You making the first move doesn't mean that you aren't a technical Victim. I feel like I meet the basic definition of Victim in the above spoiler, but the LSI that I was dating claimed that I was the Aggressor. This was either before or after I was having sex with her from behind, with her face-down on the bed, while holding her ear in my teeth. People's individual quirks can vary.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @NightHawk, I wasn't suggesting Myst for you. She's quite hetero herself, and so wouldn't be interested. Instead, I was saying that you should consider someone LIKE her, but male. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone on this forum like that right now.



    I never liked the word "Victim" myself, but it is misleading because it has unpleasant connotations in English. Instead, consider it to be a six-digit code for a certain type of Erotic Attitude.

    The current Erotic Attitudes article has been changed from what it was several years ago, perhaps to make it be truer to it's source, but I find the newer version to be less enlightening.

    Under the spoiler is the article as I first read it. I find the earlier version to be more relatable.



    Erotic Attitudes

    by

    silke

    Published on 09-30-2011 04:55 AM Number of Views: 18922

    Erotic Attitudes

    If you are coming from MBTI please note that Socionics assigns j/p letters differently than MBTI. Do not translate your MBTI type directly to Socionics type!!! This will lead to erroneous interpretation of your intertype relations. To read how Socionics is different to MBTI visit the introduction to socionics page. To find out your Socionics type, you can take socionics tests listed on socionics tests and socionics resources threads, read through type and subtype descriptions, find your valued information elements, or make a thread in What's My Type subforum using the questionnaire form for input from other forum members. Prior participation in forum discussions usually leads to more feedback on typing threads and more accurate typing suggestions.

    If you have questions about socionics intertype relations, you can post your inquiry in the Intertype Relations Subforum, or alternatively inquire about it in the forum chatbox (to access forum chat and read hidden sections of the forum please post an introduction to get your account activated).


    Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: LIE (ENTj) ILI (INTp)

    These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.

    Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)

    These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.

    Conquerors: SLE (ESTp) LSI (ISTj)

    These are assertive types who do not flinch at their own sexuality. They will express their own desire without reservation. They are won over by direct shows of submission (only after feeling that they have earned it). He will be insulted if his romantic interest gives him his title without question, and bored if the fight is too easily won. He, like the Pseudo-Aggressor and the Challenger, is questing to find his equal. Someone he can play his almost sadistic games with without "breaking."

    Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj) IEI (INFp)

    These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."

    They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.

    Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: IEE (ENFp) EII (INFj)

    These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.

    Teachers: LSE (ESTj) SLI (ISTp)

    If I were to describe this type's approach to love, it would be "serious." He approaches his love interest almost with the intention to "teach." This can quite possibly rub the object of his affection in the wrong way, possibly interpreted as condescension. Like the childlike type, he may tend to live "outside sexuality" and may have to intellectualize it in order to be comfortable. He is looking for a worthy pupil.

    Childlike Types: ENTp (ILE) INTj (LII)

    These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.

    Caregivers: ESE (ESFj) SEI (ISFp)

    These are those types who openly express their need to "protect" and care for their romantic interest. In conversation may often lend a sympathetic ear (which, depending on the person, may be interpreted as insincerity, but it's exactly what the Child-like type is looking for). They are looking for someone who will not only accept their paternal/maternal tendencies, but welcome and thrive on it.


    Romance Styles


    Aggressors: SLE (ESTp), LSI (ISTj), ESI (ISFj), SEE (ESFp)
    The Aggressor types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Se in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, flirting, and the like, in intimate relationships, the irrational ego element Se, coupled with their expectations of Ni style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in an Aggressor's behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Aggressor romance style
    · no doubts about own interest in another person
    · not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest
    · focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate
    · romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness"
    · needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up"
    · this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy
    · in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy"
    · little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously

    This romance style is defined by focus on Se which is static, irrational, and extroverted. This means that an Aggressor sees attraction to another person as a static state, which he feels it is up to him to change in the direction more in agreement to his preference. This accounts for an Aggressor's inclination to take the initiative in approaching the object of his interest and being "relentless" in his pursuit, as well as, even during an established relationship, continuing to try to "shake things up" or "get things moving". If his partner is not receptive to such behavior, this discourages the Aggressor, and results in his interest cooling off.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Aggressors tend to perceive Victims simultaneously as pleasantly able to "keep up" regarding more "intensive" interactions, and also as not annoyingly prone to always wanting "to win". Aggressor women perceive Victim men as totally devoted yet reassuringly "strong".
    · Aggressor: Aggressors tend to perceive other Aggressors as exciting partners worthy of admiration and respect, but ultimately unsatisfactory due to a sense of never-ending competition for an ill-defined "upper hand", which becomes frustrating.
    · Caregiver: Aggressors tend to perceive Caregivers as somewhat boring and patronizing.
    · Infantile: Aggressors tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and unexciting, ultimately not taking them seriously as partners.

    Victims: EIE (ENFj), IEI (INFp), LIE (ENTj), ILI (INTp)
    The Victim types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ni in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the Ego element Ni, coupled with their expectations of Se style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in a Victim's behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style
    · prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
    · not always confident about revealing that interest
    · inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
    · inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
    · preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
    · appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
    · this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
    · in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
    · inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself

    This romance style is defined by focus on Ni which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Victims tend to perceive other Victims as puzzling and inconstant, as if they were playing games or "push-pull" behavior, but also as exciting partners if a stage of "certainty" is reached.
    · Aggressor: Victims tend to perceive Aggressors as pleasantly reassuring of their interest and prone to take the initiative in that area. They find Aggressor's sexual confidence attractive and reflecting positively on themselves.
    · Caregiver: Victims tend to perceive Caregivers as comfortable and up to a point reassuring partners, but also somewhat boring, leading to a sense of stagnation. The Caregiver's inclination to treat them as somewhat helpless is perceived as slightly insulting.
    · Infantile: Victims tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and expecting a kind of attention that the Victims find demanding; Victim women are prone to see Childlike men as irritating.

    Caregivers: ESE (ESFj), SEI (ISFp), LSE (ESTj), SLI (ISTp)
    The Caregiver types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Si in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Si is the most visible factor in determining Caregivers' behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Caregiver romance style
    · attraction is naturally sparked by the perceived aesthetic attributes of the prospective partner, but cooled off if such attributes are accompanied by a perception of "too aggressive" sexuality
    · inclination towards tenderness, "soft" rather than "hard" approach
    · prone to adopt maternal approach to the physical comfort and needs of partner
    · interest is further maintained if partner welcomes this approach
    · prone to assume that partner will need help in practical, daily matters
    · neutral as to who ended a relationship, "power" is not seen as important in such matters

    This romance style is defined by focus on Si which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of the present reality and physical sensations rather than inner imagery. This means that a Caregiver sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural, as he also sees the physical comfort and well-being of another person as dynamic. This accounts for a Caregiver's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's physical well-being. The individual's own dynamic and introverted Si perceptions lead to a sense of sleepy drifting in them, which makes him welcome Ne impulses from another person designed to shake him out of it from time to time.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Caregivers tend to perceive Victims as puzzling and never contented, sometimes as paranoid and insecure.
    · Aggressor: Caregivers tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit over-the-top in their approach to romantic interactions and sexuality and ultimately not pleasant to have stable intimate relationships with.
    · Caregiver: Caregivers tend to perceive other Caregivers as comfortable partners, but ultimately somehow less than satisfactory.
    · Infantile: Caregivers tend to perceive Childlike types as delightful partners with a sense of fun that brings joy to their lives.

    Childlike: ILE (ENTp), LII (INTj), IEE (ENFp), EII (INFj)
    The Childlike types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ne in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Ne, coupled with their expectations of Si style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in manifestation of "childlike" behavior.

    Typical characteristics of the Childlike romance style
    · interest is sparked in partner with positive aesthetic attributes divorced from active, "aggressive" sexuality
    · tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior
    · try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things
    · interest is maintained or cools off according to partner's response to this behavior
    · appreciation for partner who actively cares about the individual's comfort and daily needs
    · neutral with regard to externally admitting who took the initiative in ending a relationship, "power" is seen as unimportant in such matters

    This romance style is defined by focus on Ne which is static, irrational, and extroverted, with perceptions focused on possibilities and alternatives to the static present reality, which the individual perceives as intrinsically boring and stagnant. This means that a person of Childlike type sees attraction between two individuals as a static state, also from the point of view of the other person, which he tries to "get moving" by actively thinking of variations of the present static state. This accounts for the inclination of Childlike types to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's being exposed to the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even "weird" side of life, reality, and each other, a behavior that can be described as characteristic of young children. This focus comes together with a sense of helplessness regarding his own physical well being as perceived by Si, so he welcomes help from others in that area.

    Perception of other romance styles
    · Victim: Childlike types tend to perceive Victims as paranoid and confusing, giving mixed signals.

    · Aggressor: Childlike types tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit too "rough" and even slightly scary on occasion, or perhaps just as obnoxious.

    · Caregiver: Childlike types tend to perceive Caregivers as comforting and pleasant company, with a delightful sense of fun.

    · Childlike: Childlike types tend to perceive other Chidlike types as fun to spend time with but also as helpless and demanding in a way that they see as stressful.





    You making the first move doesn't mean that you aren't a technical Victim. I feel like I meet the basic definition of Victim in the above spoiler, but the LSI that I was dating claimed that I was the Aggressor. This was either before or after I was having sex with her from behind, with her face-down on the bed, while holding her ear in my teeth. People's individual quirks can vary.
    I meant I need a man, like not a 20 something year old boy. Smh. Context. I mentioned his age, I thought that was obvious. I'm quite straight too. Im actually extremelyyyy straight

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    NightHawk's Avatar
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    Your second spoiler was honestly super off-putting and too much information. An ear bite ? Okay then... That's a little umm unorthodox. Haha. That certainly wasn't the information or answer I was looking for. (Edit: when men talk about sex it's usually just awful. Not exactly offended. I understand you're a guy. Still TMI ! LOL)

    I've read the original romance styles under the first spoiler. I can agree with the description about feeling uncertain about the other party, but this is also because I have tended to be overly aggressive with men and now I feel like I need to be "certain" before I make that move because of being wrong in the past. I also feel like I'm very conscious of being too masculine. I will admit I need to feel like I'm being chased a little bit, but I also don't like games. In that sense, needing to feel chased, does make me a victim type. I still feel like I always have an upper hand.

    Yeah victim in English is just an awful awful way to describe someone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Ok. I just mean romantic relationships only btw lol.
    I'm saying the if I met my dual I'd be worried they would remind me of my mom, because she is my dual

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    I'm saying the if I met my dual I'd be worried they would remind me of my mom, because she is my dual
    There is a good chance that you won't have a problem with a male ESI for this reason. My father is SLI and I married an SLI, and there just wasn't any correspondence in the bedroom.

    Now, the two of them do share a sociotype, so they were both good at saving, had conservative values while being liberals, and were both concerned with their health and the wellness of the family. Some of my frustrations with my father were repeated with my ex-wife, but those problems had more to do with Supervision than anything else. Aside from that, they were different people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    Your second spoiler was honestly super off-putting and too much information. An ear bite ? Okay then... That's a little umm unorthodox. Haha. That certainly wasn't the information or answer I was looking for. (Edit: when men talk about sex it's usually just awful. Not exactly offended. I understand you're a guy. Still TMI ! LOL)
    If I were good at writing romance novels, I'd be IEI.

    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    I've read the original romance styles under the first spoiler. I can agree with the description about feeling uncertain about the other party, but this is also because I have tended to be overly aggressive with men and now I feel like I need to be "certain" before I make that move because of being wrong in the past. I also feel like I'm very conscious of being too masculine. I will admit I need to feel like I'm being chased a little bit, but I also don't like games. In that sense, needing to feel chased, does make me a victim type. I still feel like I always have an upper hand.

    Yeah victim in English is just an awful awful way to describe someone.
    Being conscious of appearing too masculine is a problem that a lot of women who are stuck with very male personality types experience. My LSI GF's had that. One of them had a tool bag in her living room, the other carried a circular saw in the trunk of her car, both of which I admired. They had good taste in tools. And they both were exactly as fem as I like women.

    I wouldn't worry about being seen as feminine. I know three female LIE's IRL. One, I don't know what she does, the second is a manager who just ditched her SEE BF, and the third is an ex-division manager at GE who is married to her second husband, an LSI. Her first husband called her "Sledge", short for sledgehammer, so I guess she was a bit sensitive to this. They are all fem enough for the men in their lives.

    Just be yourself and see who sticks around. If you try to be someone else, you are going to attract the best match for that made-up person.

    Just keep in mind what that male ESI in the big-box store said about the female LIE he met in Business class. "I don't know why, but I LIKE YOU!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightHawk View Post
    I'm saying the if I met my dual I'd be worried they would remind me of my mom, because she is my dual
    I know lol I got that, it’s why I said “btw”.

    This is also getting really off-topic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    If I were good at writing romance novels, I'd be IEI.



    Being conscious of appearing too masculine is a problem that a lot of women who are stuck with very male personality types experience. My LSI GF's had that. One of them had a tool bag in her living room, the other carried a circular saw in the trunk of her car, both of which I admired. They had good taste in tools. And they both were exactly as fem as I like women.

    I wouldn't worry about being seen as feminine. I know three female LIE's IRL. One, I don't know what she does, the second is a manager who just ditched her SEE BF, and the third is an ex-division manager at GE who is married to her second husband, an LSI. Her first husband called her "Sledge", short for sledgehammer, so I guess she was a bit sensitive to this. They are all fem enough for the men in their lives.

    Just be yourself and see who sticks around. If you try to be someone else, you are going to attract the best match for that made-up person.

    Just keep in mind what that male ESI in the big-box store said about the female LIE he met in Business class. "I don't know why, but I LIKE YOU!"
    Awww that was such good advice ty.

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    Sweet eSu Bee Bee Dee eSu ,

    Technically, I've lived more time with IEI-Fe than with IEE.

    I think living with each type is different. But if you want to know why living with your dual is special, I think it depends on each dual couple because what's special or important for me is probably different for another person/type.

    Then, whats different? Valued IEs and dimensionality.
    I need to use more Si and Te with IEE and IEE actually ask for it and appreciate it and needs it. Also that with other types my relations became static or somehow stagnated and with IEE things seem to be constantly refreshing and changing. I suppose this doesn't feel the same for all dual couples as I said, mb I feel like this because of Ne. IEE is always thinking in ways of getting more money or starting new projects. That requires Te. Also is in constant need of someone to take care of his Si. I feel motivated to do Si related things because of him, because he actually needs/likes it.

    For example IEI-Fe attempts to supply and shun my Si with IEI's Si Role (I do the same with Ni, I guess), and we actually feel offended by each other Creative Element (if the IEI is Ni subtype I think this takes longer to appear). Escalating until we both became mean to each other. With the rest of the types irl, I don't feel like its christmas so I become outwardly detached like a broken toy.


    D I S C L A I M E R

    Ime, dual relations tend to go better over time, with for example super ego it could get worse and worse. I also don't think that a wonderful or magical relationship with dual happens immediately. I've said this many times, any relationship requires time, effort and getting to know each other and if someone is looking for duality to avoid this, is very possible that they are going to fail at it too. TBH I think most ppl is not ready or conscious enough when looking for duality. How relationships are constructed or the ideal each person has can permeated by culture too.

    To me love is to give, share, learn and grow up together, and I think the difference between a relationship with a dual and a non dual is that, above all, you can figure it out to keep yourself in love with your dual instead of hating him/her or being indifferent to him/her. You both change and grow up emphatically to each other, instead of endure your differences with growing grief, resentment or displease. I think duality is about grow up to be emphatic towards another almost opposite person and become a better person through it. In the other hand, I think grow up in love and empathy is really hard with, for example a super ego, at the most one can aspire is to tolerate each other and to avoid stepping in the other's toes too much.

    Last edited by Tommy; 06-07-2020 at 11:30 PM.

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