Erotic Attitudes
by
silke
Published on 09-30-2011 04:55 AM Number of Views: 18922
If you are coming from MBTI please note that Socionics assigns j/p letters differently than MBTI. Do not translate your MBTI type directly to Socionics type!!! This will lead to erroneous interpretation of your intertype relations. To read how Socionics is different to MBTI visit the
introduction to socionics page. To find out your Socionics type, you can take socionics tests listed on
socionics tests and
socionics resources threads, read through
type and subtype descriptions, find your valued
information elements, or make a thread in
What's My Type subforum using the
questionnaire form for input from other forum members. Prior participation in forum discussions usually leads to more feedback on typing threads and more accurate typing suggestions.
If you have questions about socionics intertype relations, you can post your inquiry in the Intertype Relations Subforum, or alternatively inquire about it in the forum chatbox (to access forum chat and read hidden sections of the forum please post an
introduction to get your account activated).
Psuedo-Aggressors/Employees: LIE (ENTj) ILI (INTp)
These are types who exhibit aggressive tendencies in their everyday life, and as a result tend to carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. They typically are not comfortable with connotations of the word "victim" - implying a certain weakness, effeteness, and lack of dignity. In searching for a partner, they are looking for a worthy opponent - someone who is strong enough to withstand their quirks without "breaking" so to speak.
Aggressors/Employers: SEE (ESFp) ESI (ISFj)
These types, like the conquerors, express their sexuality openly. In daily life they may tend to be rather submissive and as a result may tend to carry over these tendencies into their romantic life. They are won over by indirect acts of submission, and are thrilled when their love interest (in the case of the "psuedo-aggressor" type) acts unlike himself. In a partner, they are looking for their equal - someone whose solid facade they can break down piece by piece.
Conquerors: SLE (ESTp) LSI (ISTj)
These are assertive types who do not flinch at their own sexuality. They will express their own desire without reservation. They are won over by direct shows of submission (only after feeling that they have earned it). He will be insulted if his romantic interest gives him his title without question, and bored if the fight is too easily won. He, like the Pseudo-Aggressor and the Challenger, is questing to find his equal. Someone he can play his almost sadistic games with without "breaking."
Challengers/Trophies: EIE (ENFj) IEI (INFp)
These are the types who unconsciously throw a "gauntlet" down for their opponents. They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag. As a result, they may appear (both to others and to themselves) rather amorphous and can take on qualities of the other romantic attitudes, depending on the situation and who they are "challenging."
They may, for example, give the victim half his aggressor, the psuedo-aggressor a little victim, the caregiver a bit of his child, etc. They react best, however, to those who do not "break" as a result of their games, but grant them a level of autonomy. Healthy examples of this type will have a sense of self-esteem, and may think of themselves as the "prize" that will be given only to the rightful owner.
Pseudo-Caregivers/Students: IEE (ENFp) EII (INFj)
These are types who exhibit paternal/maternal tendencies towards others in their everyday lives and may thus carry over these notions and temperaments into their romantic life. These types habitually attempt to give their partner what he/she "needs" (or what they believe they need). As a result, they may become drained by lack of attendance to their own needs and desires. In a partner, they are searching for a combination of strength and gentleness.
Teachers: LSE (ESTj) SLI (ISTp)
If I were to describe this type's approach to love, it would be "serious." He approaches his love interest almost with the intention to "teach." This can quite possibly rub the object of his affection in the wrong way, possibly interpreted as condescension. Like the childlike type, he may tend to live "outside sexuality" and may have to intellectualize it in order to be comfortable. He is looking for a worthy pupil.
Childlike Types: ENTp (ILE) INTj (LII)
These types seem to exist outside their own sexuality. Sex is to be metabolized psychologically for them in an almost roundabout way - as an emotional entity, or possibly even an intellectual exercise. In a partner, they are looking for someone who will deal with (and protect) their quirks and understand their sexuality on the same intellectual/emotional level.
Caregivers: ESE (ESFj) SEI (ISFp)
These are those types who openly express their need to "protect" and care for their romantic interest. In conversation may often lend a sympathetic ear (which, depending on the person, may be interpreted as insincerity, but it's exactly what the Child-like type is looking for). They are looking for someone who will not only accept their paternal/maternal tendencies, but welcome and thrive on it.
Romance Styles
Aggressors: SLE (ESTp), LSI (ISTj), ESI (ISFj), SEE (ESFp)
The Aggressor types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Se in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, flirting, and the like, in intimate relationships, the irrational ego element Se, coupled with their expectations of Ni style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in an Aggressor's behavior.
Typical characteristics of the Aggressor romance style
· no doubts about own interest in another person
· not prone to hesitation about whether or not to reveal that interest
· focus is more on own interest than whether or not the other person might reciprocate
· romantic interaction is more about "toughness" than "tenderness"
· needs to feel some sense of "superiority" over the partner, but worthwhile only if the partner is seen as able to largely "keep up"
· this takes the form of power games, which others might regard as cruel or bitchy
· in the case of female Aggressors with male partners, the above tends to assume the characteristic of a woman expecting total devotion from the partner, rather than her being "bossy"
· little inclination to externally admit not having been the one to end a relationship, unless if adopting a "who cares" front simultaneously
This romance style is defined by focus on Se which is static, irrational, and extroverted. This means that an Aggressor sees attraction to another person as a static state, which he feels it is up to him to change in the direction more in agreement to his preference. This accounts for an Aggressor's inclination to take the initiative in approaching the object of his interest and being "relentless" in his pursuit, as well as, even during an established relationship, continuing to try to "shake things up" or "get things moving". If his partner is not receptive to such behavior, this discourages the Aggressor, and results in his interest cooling off.
Perception of other romance styles
· Victim: Aggressors tend to perceive Victims simultaneously as pleasantly able to "keep up" regarding more "intensive" interactions, and also as not annoyingly prone to always wanting "to win". Aggressor women perceive Victim men as totally devoted yet reassuringly "strong".
· Aggressor: Aggressors tend to perceive other Aggressors as exciting partners worthy of admiration and respect, but ultimately unsatisfactory due to a sense of never-ending competition for an ill-defined "upper hand", which becomes frustrating.
· Caregiver: Aggressors tend to perceive Caregivers as somewhat boring and patronizing.
· Infantile: Aggressors tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and unexciting, ultimately not taking them seriously as partners.
Victims: EIE (ENFj), IEI (INFp), LIE (ENTj), ILI (INTp)
The Victim types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ni in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the Ego element Ni, coupled with their expectations of Se style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in a Victim's behavior.
Typical characteristics of the Victim romance style
· prone to initial doubts about intensity of own interest in another person
· not always confident about revealing that interest
· inclined to focus on whether or not the other person might reciprocate the interest
· inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time
· preference for partners that provoke in the individual a certain sense of awe in terms of power, physical presence, and the like
· appreciation for the sense of power-play present when interacting with such partners, with acceptance of a slight sense of superiority on the part of the partner, without ever actually "submitting" to them
· this takes the form of the individual somewhat expecting the partner to be "mean" on occasion
· in the case of Victim males with female partners, this latter trait assumes a characteristic analogous to a "knight devoted to his princess"
· inclination to openly admit to a relationship having been ended by the partner rather than by the individual himself
This romance style is defined by focus on Ni which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of inner imagery away from the present physical reality. This means that a Victim sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural. This accounts for a Victim's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as to its longer-term perspectives and implications, as well as a certain expectation that the partner will continuously take action to confirm the attraction. Failure on the partner to do so results on the individual assuming that it's already changing. The individual counts on the partner to forcefully bring the individual "down to earth from his thoughts " and focus on the immediate physical reality, continuously.
Perception of other romance styles
· Victim: Victims tend to perceive other Victims as puzzling and inconstant, as if they were playing games or "push-pull" behavior, but also as exciting partners if a stage of "certainty" is reached.
· Aggressor: Victims tend to perceive Aggressors as pleasantly reassuring of their interest and prone to take the initiative in that area. They find Aggressor's sexual confidence attractive and reflecting positively on themselves.
· Caregiver: Victims tend to perceive Caregivers as comfortable and up to a point reassuring partners, but also somewhat boring, leading to a sense of stagnation. The Caregiver's inclination to treat them as somewhat helpless is perceived as slightly insulting.
· Infantile: Victims tend to perceive Childlike types as too goofy and expecting a kind of attention that the Victims find demanding; Victim women are prone to see Childlike men as irritating.
Caregivers: ESE (ESFj), SEI (ISFp), LSE (ESTj), SLI (ISTp)
The Caregiver types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Si in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Si is the most visible factor in determining Caregivers' behavior.
Typical characteristics of the Caregiver romance style
· attraction is naturally sparked by the perceived aesthetic attributes of the prospective partner, but cooled off if such attributes are accompanied by a perception of "too aggressive" sexuality
· inclination towards tenderness, "soft" rather than "hard" approach
· prone to adopt maternal approach to the physical comfort and needs of partner
· interest is further maintained if partner welcomes this approach
· prone to assume that partner will need help in practical, daily matters
· neutral as to who ended a relationship, "power" is not seen as important in such matters
This romance style is defined by focus on Si which is dynamic, irrational, and introverted, with perceptions of the present reality and physical sensations rather than inner imagery. This means that a Caregiver sees attraction between two individuals as a dynamic state, which he feels is completely natural, as he also sees the physical comfort and well-being of another person as dynamic. This accounts for a Caregiver's inclination to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's physical well-being. The individual's own dynamic and introverted Si perceptions lead to a sense of sleepy drifting in them, which makes him welcome Ne impulses from another person designed to shake him out of it from time to time.
Perception of other romance styles
· Victim: Caregivers tend to perceive Victims as puzzling and never contented, sometimes as paranoid and insecure.
· Aggressor: Caregivers tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit over-the-top in their approach to romantic interactions and sexuality and ultimately not pleasant to have stable intimate relationships with.
· Caregiver: Caregivers tend to perceive other Caregivers as comfortable partners, but ultimately somehow less than satisfactory.
· Infantile: Caregivers tend to perceive Childlike types as delightful partners with a sense of fun that brings joy to their lives.
Childlike: ILE (ENTp), LII (INTj), IEE (ENFp), EII (INFj)
The Childlike types, identified as such by Viktor Gulenko, are the four types with Ne in their ego. Despite the differences between these types in terms of temperament, base function, and quadra values, it seems that in the area of physical attraction, desire, and flirting, the ego element Ne, coupled with their expectations of Si style behavior in intimate partners, is the most visible factor in manifestation of "childlike" behavior.
Typical characteristics of the Childlike romance style
· interest is sparked in partner with positive aesthetic attributes divorced from active, "aggressive" sexuality
· tend to try to attract partner's interest with joking, goofy or even "strange" behavior
· try to help partner see the unexpected and fun side of things
· interest is maintained or cools off according to partner's response to this behavior
· appreciation for partner who actively cares about the individual's comfort and daily needs
· neutral with regard to externally admitting who took the initiative in ending a relationship, "power" is seen as unimportant in such matters
This romance style is defined by focus on Ne which is static, irrational, and extroverted, with perceptions focused on possibilities and alternatives to the static present reality, which the individual perceives as intrinsically boring and stagnant. This means that a person of Childlike type sees attraction between two individuals as a static state, also from the point of view of the other person, which he tries to "get moving" by actively thinking of variations of the present static state. This accounts for the inclination of Childlike types to focus on the mutual attraction, or particularly the attraction felt by the other person, as connected to that person's being exposed to the unexpected, imaginative, fun, even "weird" side of life, reality, and each other, a behavior that can be described as characteristic of young children. This focus comes together with a sense of helplessness regarding his own physical well being as perceived by Si, so he welcomes help from others in that area.
Perception of other romance styles
· Victim: Childlike types tend to perceive Victims as paranoid and confusing, giving mixed signals.
· Aggressor: Childlike types tend to perceive Aggressors as a bit too "rough" and even slightly scary on occasion, or perhaps just as obnoxious.
· Caregiver: Childlike types tend to perceive Caregivers as comforting and pleasant company, with a delightful sense of fun.
· Childlike: Childlike types tend to perceive other Chidlike types as fun to spend time with but also as helpless and demanding in a way that they see as stressful.