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Thread: What attracts and repels you in a person?

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    Default What attracts and repels you in a person?

    What is your type and makes you want to open up with someone?
    What makes you want to ignore or avoid someone?

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    Not too shallow, two-faced or shit talky about insignificant things. Not too mindlessly competitive (obviously arguing on a forum if it’s an entertaining discussion is different), although completely sterile and nice isn’t compelling to me either on the other hand; it just means more repression and insanity.

    Not too many loose or ethically questionable comments or behaviors. No shitty attitude towards me or towards others without a non-retarded reason.

    ... Would make me want to open up, maybe.

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    Sincerity, innocence, "helplessness", kindness, selflessness, mystery, positivity, openness, nonjudgmental, cheerful, happy.

    What makes me wanna ignore them is basically the opposite of those things.
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ ESTp ~ Self-Pres 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire Element ~ Aries Sign ~ Beta Quadra ~ Gryffindor House ~ Summer Season ~ SLUEN ~

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    Magnets in our pockets.

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    I'm inclined to easily open up to people who seem to be confident in areas of life where I lack confidence without being cocky about it. Also it's often easier for me to open up to people who share a similar experience as me (lgbt, black, child of immigrant, etc...)

    I have a hard time opening up to people that I find to be rude, dishonest or lacking empathy.

    When it comes to straight up attraction I'm not sure I know honestly... But I often end up being attracted to people who are nice to me without being weird, pushy or annoying. Also I like hot guys.

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    Repels:

    - Planning, rules, strict morality, everything to do with anal retentiveness
    - People who try to manipulate, guard, and force a conversation as if great conversations can't occur naturally. Smiling retardedly at awkwardness is included.
    - Submissiveness and tenderness and traditional femininity
    - Conservative and without a brain

    Attracts
    - insanity

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    One thing that I never thought would repel me, stereotypically as a guy also, is feeling sorry for yourself or just being unappealingly self deprecating. Truly feeling bad is one thing and for some reason that draws me in, but moping about and whining, I thought it would put me into some hero mode or something, but a girl acted that way around me and man and at that moment it was decided that she was just a friend. I lost all attraction like I had a hole in my pocket, and she was decent looking too. I always been told girls are the ones that like confidence in guys but I guess I like confidence too.

    What makes me open up is if someone is genuine, I get a whiff of that and it's over.

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    Attracts: Confidence, integrity, Reliability, industriousness, Humility


    Repels: Dishonesty, arrogance, egotism

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    Hard to answer this one confidently, but I'd say receiving and giving vulnerability and honesty.

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    Things that especially appeal to me in a person include: intelligence, strength, conviction, passion, creativity, sensitivity, and kindness.

    Things that I find outright unappealing in a person: lack of expressiveness, cruelty, childishness, and intolerance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyBibimbap View Post
    What is your type and makes you want to open up with someone?
    What makes you want to ignore or avoid someone?
    attracts me/makes me open up:
    bring friendly and social,
    striking up conversations with me and not giving up when I don't reply or don't use emojis...,
    not taking things too serious and personally,
    sharing one of my boring yet productive hobbies,
    sensor jokes ,
    bringing me into the moment,
    caring more than me about things,
    mutability, ability to grow and change
    proving me wrong, surprising me

    repels me:
    shrinking flowers,
    dependency,
    lack of confidence,
    blaming external circumstances,
    overly touchy and suffocating,
    meddling with my private life,
    raising your voice/screaming at me,
    attempting to control me,
    hatred - towards anything really, I don't identify with this emotion at all
    impulsive decisions and emotions

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    romantically i avoid whores & drug addicts. specifically what attracts me i can't really say, guess i'll have to think about that more. i tend to like unusual girls with unusual interests. intelligence is attractive too. knowing what is to be taken seriously and what isn't. girls who take the time to listen are nice too, altho i don't really expect that at this point, i'm too much of a sperg really.
    Last edited by trashman; 05-06-2020 at 01:43 PM.
    凸(`△´+)

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    Repels: someone who wants to murder me. Yeah that must be one. Someone who puts too much on fate instead of rigorous testing. Someone whose sense of humor is close to zero.

    As per being open? I'm pretty much an open book to everyone even if I'm bit hard to understand.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

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    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyBibimbap View Post
    What makes you want to open up with someone?
    Soft smile. Gentle. Open to weird humor. Caring.

    Quote Originally Posted by CowboyBibimbap View Post
    What makes you want to ignore or avoid someone?
    Rigid. Harsh. Aggressive. Judgemental. Gossipy.

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    this but unironically



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    Lack of integrity is a big problem for me, inconsistency, important lies, and primates violent and incapable of another form of expression than hate and their selves. Lack of respect.

    I like a certain level of open mindedness, calmness, someone you can talk to, joke with, yell at, and them at me, without it becoming the end of the world. An offbeat sense of humor is defo a +, it doesn't have to be like mine. A bit of adventure. Live.

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    Attraction in general? I like interesting people.

    Sexual attraction? I’d say I’m attracted to many different types, and it’s hard to pin down specific features. The only ones I can think of and not being very overweight, and having visible breasts (I don’t really care about size as long as a woman isn’t completely flat-chested). I’m also attracted to a sense of casualness — not feeling self conscious.
    @xXdedXx, since you mentioned not being attracted to “whores”, I would say that if anything I’m particularly attracted to promiscuity if it’s based in self-confidence.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    @xXdedXx, since you mentioned not being attracted to “whores”, I would say that if anything I’m particularly attracted to promiscuity if it’s based in self-confidence.
    You want someone who has a harem? Asking for a friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    You want someone who has a harem? Asking for a friend.
    Are you asking if I want to be part of a harem? Hm, traditionally the harem-master is supposed to provide for the concubines. If this is the arrangement, then sure, depending of course on a few other circumstances.
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  20. #20

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    Repels: Sanctimony, irrationality, instability, prone to violence, willful ignorance, hubris, excessively delusional

    Attracts: Good-hearted/well-intentioned, kindness, generosity, intellectual/curious, well-defined sense of self, open-ended/open-minded, somewhat optimistic

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    Lol

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    Hail to those who want a slave.I read all your posts, cocksucker. Come on.

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    Attracts: High levels of ethics and integrity, kind, forgiving, honest but not harsh, patient, loyal, knows what they believe, takes a stance on right and wrong, mean what they say, practice what they preach, etc.

    Repels: Low levels of ethics and integrity, rude, vindictive, harsh and hostile, two faced, liars, egoistic, argumentative, loud and obnoxious, always neutral, always negative, 'my way or the highway's attitudes, etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    Attracts: High levels of ethics and integrity, kind, forgiving, honest but not harsh, patient, loyal, knows what they believe, takes a stance on right and wrong, mean what they say, practice what they preach, etc.

    Repels: Low levels of ethics and integrity, rude, vindictive, harsh and hostile, two faced, liars, egoistic, argumentative, loud and obnoxious, always neutral, always negative, 'my way or the highway's attitudes, etc.
    Interesting, all the "repels" part is basically all Beta traits.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Something View Post
    Interesting, all the "repels" part is basically all Beta traits.
    I usually get along with Beta introverts well but the extroverts I do in fact find difficult to be around a lot of the time. That feeling is usually mutual with EIEs but scarcely so with SLE's for some reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    I usually get along with Beta introverts well but the extroverts I do in fact find difficult to be around a lot of the time. That feeling is usually mutual with EIEs but scarcely so with SLE's for some reason.
    Same. For some reason, the Betas I stand the most are LSI's. But the others make my teeth hurt. I have an LSI and IEI in my friends group, and I have more issues with the IEI, he tends to just come from behind me and punch me or something, so once I just turned around and pimp-slapped him and he whined.

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    repel: bullies and hatemongers, and people who are over-the-top friendly or jolly
    attract: intelligence - people who offer unique insight (certainly not like that of a fox or a quoter).....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    repel: bullies and hatemongers, and people who are over-the-top friendly or jolly
    attract: intelligence - people who offer unique insight (certainly not like that of a fox or a quoter).....

    a.k.a. I/O
    That doesnt sound like ESE to me? Couod be wrong sorry to bother u about it.
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ ESTp ~ Self-Pres 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire Element ~ Aries Sign ~ Beta Quadra ~ Gryffindor House ~ Summer Season ~ SLUEN ~

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    Attracted to
    kind
    warm & expressive
    a sense of awe
    flirtatious energy, sexual energy
    affectionate
    discreet
    insightful about life
    does their own research
    puts in the work required to have an informed opinion
    willing to admit when they can't do / don't know / don't understand something yet
    willing to learn & try new things outside their comfort zone
    willing to get back up or be helped back up if they fall
    willing to face their problems and try to work on them
    flexible, able to be spontaneous
    willing to get dirty
    quiet but willing to speak out when things are really wrong


    Repelled by
    Other than no-brainers like not being an asshole, using people, actual bullies:

    no "off" switch
    busybody, micromanager, nosy
    tiresome troll, childishly provocative, gossip
    interprets everything personally, self-absorbed,
    projects motivations & agendas onto others
    thinks in stereotypes and is oblivious to it
    hyper-rational, data-dependent, or utopian idealist to the point of stupidity
    parrot, fixed ideology, reactionary, contrarian
    full of shit. constantly lying. white lies. bluffs. delusions of grandeur. lying just to hear the sound of their own voice
    lies of omission, plausible deniability, playing "by the book" while abusing the spirit of it
    takes the moral high ground but won't speak out, won't openly back up a person who does
    words say "deep convictions & values", actions say "let someone else handle it" "cover-your-ass"
    silent majority

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    That doesnt sound like ESE to me? Couod be wrong sorry to bother u about it.
    I'm assuming that you're referring to intelligence, which really has nothing to do with type. Type usually indicates how intelligence may be applied and I've met smart and stupid of every type - also insecure and elitists of every type......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    I'm assuming that you're referring to intelligence, which really has nothing to do with type. Type usually indicates how intelligence may be applied and I've met smart and stupid of every type - also insecure and elitists of every type......

    a.k.a. I/O
    Seeking unique insight kind of "intelligence" and disliking "over the top friendly jolly" ppl sounds more like the opposite to ESE. It seems you are more attracted to alpha NT traits than to your dual's.
    Last edited by Tommy; 05-08-2020 at 06:05 PM.

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    Repels: controlling, vindictive, materialistic, short sighted

    Attracts: harmonious, laid-back, cheerful, selfless, playful

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    Seeking unique insight kind of "intelligence" and disliking "over the top friendly jolly" ppl sounds more like the opposite to ESE. It seems you are more attracted to alpha NT traits than to your dual's.
    You seem to be implying that ESE can never be insightful or intelligent, or have a somewhat sombre nature; I disagree.
    If my history is any indication, I've been attracted to more ESIs than any other type - and yes, like all other types, ESI can also be insightful and intelligent......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    You seem to be implying that ESE can never be insightful or intelligent, or have a somewhat sombre nature; I disagree.
    I never said that. You said unique insight, and sensors are not typically "unique". Don't put words in my mouth.

    Unique: being the only existing one of its type or, more generally, unusual, or special in some way.

    If my history is any indication, I've been attracted to more ESIs than any other type - and yes, like all other types, ESI can also be insightful and intelligent......

    a.k.a. I/O
    Then, mb you are not attracted to unique insight, rather, just insight or insight related to physical world or interpersonal relations etc. That's mb not even unique, but mb you perceive it as "unique" due seeing just your own perspective as "normalcy" in such areas (subjective 1D perception in other words). Then, over the top friendly and jolly doesn't match much ESE.

    Anyway, I really don't care to what traits you feel attracted to. Was just clarifying N9 socionics comment. Or mb you were just twiddling.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    Seeking unique insight kind of "intelligence" and disliking "over the top friendly jolly" ppl sounds more like the opposite to ESE
    I'm tempted to type a person I know as ESE and I wouldn't say over top friendly jolly applies. ESEs can be chronic worriers; if they sense a negative consequence coming their way any trace of friendliness can just vanish and they go business mode. They worry and have push-through personalities, so they are good at planning ahead and with money, generally. The type of person that does well in their profession or that has secretly amassed a small fortune over the years.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rusal View Post
    I'm tempted to type a person I know as ESE and I wouldn't say over top friendly jolly applies. ESEs can be chronic worriers; if they sense a negative consequence coming their way any trace of friendliness can just vanish and they go business mode. They worry and have push-through personalities, so they are good at planning ahead and with money, generally. The type of person that does well in their profession or that has secretly amassed a small fortune over the years.
    that sounds ESI to me. My mom is ESE and a good friend of mine too. My ESE mom is actually not good to save money and none of them both find easy to make it either. :/ They both are friendly and cheerful. They don't have business mode. They have friendly mode, unfriendly mode, which are not related to business. They both are not good at planning ahead. They are responsible workers, though.

    I know ESI who's good at saving and making money. I know SEE who's good for making money, but not saving. Both seem in need for advice in what and how to invest (ie. how to make their money work for them instead of the opposite).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    that sounds ESI to me. My mom is ESE and a good friend of mine too. My ESE mom is actually not good to save money and none of them both find easy to make it either. :/ They both are friendly and cheerful. They don't have business mode. They have friendly mode, unfriendly mode, which are not related to business. They both are not good at planning ahead. They are responsible workers, though.

    I know ESI who's good at saving and making more money. I know SEE who's good for making money, but not saving.
    I’ll check for SEE but I don’t see ESI. A close relative of this ESE (¿?) is an ESI and the differences are striking. ESE’s miniscandals over literally everything due to constant fear can extend to money-matters and this shields them from unwise decisions. There’s more of the ESE profile as a whole that fits the person than SEE.

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    Attract:
    Friendliness, easy-going, cheerfulness, joviality, adaptability, modesty, in touch with nature, intelligence, creativity

    Repel:
    Dishonesty, frequent aggressive moods, pushiness, bragging, being overly materialistic

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    Open up how? My asshole or my heart???

    Lust wise (maybe love too), I am into people who are naturally very ethical but don't flaunt it and NEVER condescend others with it (that itself is a huge turn off) But they are still a good person when push comes to shove, more naturally tho. It's kind of very refreshing, sorta the opposite you feel while watching TV. There is no 'platitudes' about it. And they understand the difference between a fantasy and actually doing something really well. And this is a core to the person I mean. I am repulsed by people who pretend to be 'good' for something career-ish but beneath that veil they are actually pretty cruel and heartless. Te polr maybe but I am pretty sensitive to that. =D

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