Article: Ode to Dual Contact by Grigori Shulman
"In general, the saying that "Non-dualized person - is a type, dualized person - is a human being" holds much more truth than merely being a joke statement, since a person who grew up in dual contact, or who is living in a dual union, resembles a normal person much more so than anyone else who grew up in psychologically unfavorable atmosphere."
Just to "grew up in dual contact" or to "live in a dual union" is not enough.
The significant influence by the personality of other human needs the state of love. In this state the borders between minds of people become fewer, the personality (emotions, thoughts, sensations) of other human, his needs and interests are introjected as own. It's when two people share one life together as equal parts. For marriage pairs to this state predisposes feelings of sexual attraction, besides emotional attraction (heart sympathy) and respect. Good IR, duality types make easier to have friendship related factors as emotional attraction and respect, having which also it's easier to get higher sexual interest.
Love state is opposite to individualistic attitude, which is common ideology of liberal capitalistic societies. This culture obstacle distorts what people seek in relations on practice - they are predisposed to surface personal contacts (motivated mostly by sexual attraction and material benefits), but not to deep friendship feelings and love state. Following this they pay lesser attention on personal traits in making pairs. And even geting potentially good partners (as with good IR) they are hard to establish deep loving relations, which are important to get positive influence of good IR.
A human with good IR as duality type (in average case) is not only more pleasant and able to cooperate good in general friendship relations. He activates in the consciousnes weak functional regions, helps to develop weak functions and skills related to them. This allows to feel more energy (which before was unconscious), to become wiser and stronger, more efficient. Also as more unconscious energy becomes controlled by the consciousness - this reduces inner conflicts, what helps to reduce neurotic symptoms and to feel happier.
Jung's type mb thought a psyche accentuation, where weak functions are closer to primitive childish state. Duality types may help the most to reduce it. Love state is what allows to get this help the most.
“This is responsible for the almost complete invulnerability and stability of a dual dyad! A dual dyad can be compared with two armed gladiator friends standing with their backs to each other.”
I’m acquainted with an LII-ESE couple. The LII taught at a university which took advantage of the COVID pandemic to fire him. He now works at Walmart. When he talks you do not get the sense that he feels invulnerable.
The ESE isn’t doing too hot either. Works at a school that takes advantage of her and saddles her with an enormous amount of work she shouldn’t have to do. The two of them seem exhausted all the time; they have a lot to deal with, especially with children.
The two of them obviously care for each other, and from what I know from their relationship it seems that they work very well together, and seem to have more of a bond than the average couple. But duality is not magic. It can’t solve every problem, and it doesn’t always prevent people from feeling shitty in the long term. I promise that they are not feeling much “internal joy” or whatever at the moment.
Seriously Judicious Emotivist
FP, my ESE nephew just married his LII love, and I am so glad for him! They are the only ESI-LII duals I have seen; I know many ESEs and none are with their dual (two are long married to their conflictor!).
Your LII friend, wow, that is a blow, but he is among the first of many, IMO, as the economy crumples. And ESE's teaching.. yes, teaching is a big challenge these days, as more and more it is run strictly from the top, like teachers didn't need all that education and passion for teaching; they just need to be efficient at taking orders from admin and strictly follow curriculum written by well paid theorists in towers. Life can be hard, but having a dual to come home to in hard times is really the very best.
I can think of 3 dual couples with great longtime dual marriages and each of them happens to have 4 children, which is a lot, these days (super-big families of 8 or so say that having 1-3 children is very hardest; after 3 it gets easier and easier!). Each of these three dual couples has had some real challenges, especially raising children, like, a couple of them seemed to be always in for a long night in the emergency room because someone got hurt. Or they had one or two high need children. Or burden of other family drama. Or major job loss or unexpected burdens or other reversals. But always, being Duals really helped them get through the many life challenges that came their way.
When i was in a dysfunctional, not-dual marriage, we did not face so many dramatic events and set-backs as this. We both accomplished a lot, just not much together. Many of our together times were so stressful and painful! I was always hoping for a vacation time, and when we did manage one, those would include some of the most memorably strifeful times. It was hard in so many little, constant ways. A life of going through challengers with my dual, instead, is so much better! It is one reason I have taken on some challenging positions in my career in the last few years, because I thought, why not? My home life is easy. I can take challenges at work.
It's very interesting.