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Thread: What Functions Do Manners & Social Graces Fall Under?

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    Default What Functions Do Manners & Social Graces Fall Under?

    I've noticed that I struggle with proper etiquette at times and was wondering if it may be type-related. When in social situations, I naturally use Mr. and Mrs. when talking to people who are older than me. This even carried over to the forum as I call (Adam Strange) Mr. Strange because everything else feels weird. For people that I do not know or know very little, I avoid using their names at all because it feels wrong without us having actually talked about anything. I also make a conscious effort to never forget people's names and to address them properly but I don't care if people get my name wrong. @Adam Strange


    I don't consider myself a shy person but I just can't use people's names if we haven't actually been introduced to one another. Whether through my initiative or their own. I have a hard time knowing how people feel about me. Like I sense something is off but not exactly what it is. I feel like if I use your name that we should "know" each other to some extent and I normally push for it to happen. I don't maintain it though and I love when other people proudly state our bond to one another as it gives me confidence that this connection can last. My SEE friends often inadvertently offend other people and I am very aware when they violate social graces and don't face scrutiny.


    I feel as if I must respond to social etiquette but not to emotional energy. For example, if I'm in a bad mood, I will completely shrug off and ignore people who are just smiling and telling me that it gets better. I don't eat and actively begin to kill the atmosphere around me and normally leave once I notice how I'm affecting people. On the other hand, I always respond if someone just straight up asks how I'm doing. I may not respond truthfully but a piece of me hopes that they might dig in and help me It's more of a smokescreen than a wall which some people perceive it as. No matter how angry I get, I will respond at least somewhat positively to people who just talk to me without making me feel like a kid while doing it.

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    ♰DΣVϟ VVLT♰ dedxx's Avatar
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    Te + Fe + Fi

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    I think it's really obvious that it's Fe, you can hypothetically argue that other functions do it too, but that really needs to stay in the realm of hypothesis. What is traditionally and formally known as manners and graces is all about having strong extraverted ethics.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    I think it's really obvious that it's Fe, you can hypothetically argue that other functions do it too, but that really needs to stay in the realm of hypothesis. What is traditionally and formally known as manners and graces is all about having strong extraverted ethics.
    It's Fi.

    I don't know how people are still confused about this. You have been here long enough to know this.

    Source:

    ESI
    https://vimeo.com/135807263

    EII
    https://vimeo.com/129286088

    @BeamerBoy SEE have it in their creative function so they take more risks with it. It has more of a dynamic expression compared to the base function.

    Your dual has your base function (4D) as their suggestive (1D), it's a very weak function and it can't handle ambiguity so that is why it's paired with a strong stable 4D function. 3D functions such as the creative are situationally applied, because your dual complementing function (the mobilizing) is a 2D function, which doesn't require as much care and help from others.

    Base function activities can easily be developed into highly effective and productive skills, but there is also a tendency to indulge too much in the base function just because it is easy and rewarding. When overuse becomes extreme, a feeling of emptiness and pointlessness follows, and use of the base function stops bringing satisfaction.
    Use of the creative function — while frequent and effortless — seems to turn on and off. One moment the person may seem highly interested in this aspect, and the next — totally indifferent. This may jar people for whom this aspect of reality is of more supreme importance and who expect more consistent attention and effort in this area.
    The suggestive function is also called the dual-seeking function. The subject finds it difficult to be overwhelmed by this element, since it perfectly complements and drives the activity of the leading function. The more it is present in his daily life, the more he will naturally adapt to its presence. They are easily entertained by this kind of information, and its sustained presence creates a soothing psychological effect. If someone experiences a deficiency of it in his environment, he may attempt to supply it himself, but become soon exhausted. Unlike the mobilizing function, concentrated and prolonged doses from other people are received positively (depending somewhat on the individual's degree of dualization).
    The mobilizing function is also called the activating function and the hidden agenda function. Help in this element is appreciated, but past a certain point is seen as excessive.
    Source.

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    If you're defining manners and social graces as prevailing customs, public standards and social conventions that dictate interpersonal behavior, that's Fe because they are ethics objectively designed for everyone, for the group to adhere to them, e.g., honorifics that intend to denote degrees of respectability and/or authority > Mr., Miss, Ms., Mrs, Madam, Sir, etc.... Fe is more about externalizing and objectively assigning value.

    Fi doesn't seek to control and dictate group ethics; Fi is concerned with subjective ethical principles/convictions and acting based on those grounds. The only way I see Fi as being related to manners is if we're referring to emotional reticence and sensitivity, i.e., not provoking an emotional reaction by saying or doing something that might hurt or offend someone, in a "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" kind of way. Because Fi is about maintaining stable interpersonal bonds and closing psychological distances, it's more cognizant of negative "triggers" and sidestepping them, which could be seen as polite and courteous behavior. Fe would more likely attempt to "trigger" an alternate, more positive feeling in order to counter the negative one, arguably another form of courtesy.

    And FWIW, IEIs have stronger Fi than they do Fe, though the latter is valued. In Model G, Fi is their creative function. Therefore, it's not unusual for IEIs to feel more torn when it comes to adhering to one over the other.

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    irrelevant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pineapple Pizza View Post
    irrelevant.
    I think manners and social graces would be Fe (objective standards) and Si (subjective sensations) but the whole general tendency to try to make other types all have horrible manners the further they are from ESE and SEI is ridiculous. I agree that anyone can learn manners and manners are more minor than what type differentiation is supposed to represent.

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    It's Fe. But people in this forum are bored with the usual descriptions from having been exposed to them for too long and wish for evermore outlandish explanations.

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    What ever you see significant. For example ESI places zero attention to imaginary plane of interlocutor and is usually totally clueless. ESI's conflictor does the opposite and focuses on things that are not in front of their nose.

    In the end it is matter of interpretation.

    As in being present Se egos probably have the adequate manners based on understanding applying pressure to accurate points.
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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Manners/etiquette can actually be seen as low F. Strong Feeling doesn't need manners because it knows how to behave anyway. Manners exist so that you don't have to use Feeling. It depends of course what we mean by manners. There are different kinds.

    If you are weak on Feeling and you are going to a funeral you better behave according to etiquette, you say the "correct" condolences, you bring flowers etc. Then you are fine and dont need to worry. A strong Feeler can improvise more, they know that they can handle the social situation without following strict etiquette.

    I've sen ESEs going against the "proper" way of behaving because they had a "better" view and judgement of the situation.

    I think social grace can be seen as Fe though.
    A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
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    I've often seen Ti dominants behaving this way.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I've often seen Ti dominants behaving this way.
    Because they have Fi role. People seem to think you only engage in valued functions. I forgot how controversial are some topics here.

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    Interesting thread, when I hear manners and etiquette, I think of using the right fork at a fancy dinner...

    Social grace can be acted, improvised, learned... I have seen Fe peeps who were rude asf, they believed they knew better and disregarded others and that sucks. Considering the amount of people here who stated dislike for ESE, they aren't that great at social grace if they leave such bitter feelings behind them... unless we call those forumites boors and move on, lol.
    There are many situations in life, and not all of them requires Fe or are happening in Fe valuing context, and that plays a role in what is graceful or not, because "social grace" is a matter of perception happening at a point in time. It's action/reaction happening through time confronted to an observer, the variables are numerous, that's how I see it. I wouldn't call a person socialy graceful, but I could an action.
    Also, one may or may not care about being seen as socialy graceful at a given time, and that can influence the outcome.

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    Si: you do not look like common whore
    Se: you do not fly around like common leaflet
    Ni: you come in time
    Ne: you are not too fixated
    Fi: you keep relations
    Fe: you can impact people
    Ti: you are not totally clueless
    Te: you can make things flow
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