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Thread: Just ended things with my dual, AMA

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    Hux's Avatar
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    Default Just ended things with my dual, AMA

    Sorry, just wanted attention. Feel free to ignore me. Or help me, idk. I hate emotions.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    What are the outside influences and or specific personal baggage that one or both of you have accumulated to cause the breakup? I'm assuming that it's not type related and that neither of you is mistyped......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    What are the outside influences and or specific personal baggage that one or both of you have accumulated to cause the breakup? I'm assuming that it's not type related and that neither of you is mistyped......

    a.k.a. I/O
    What's I/O?
    Honestly not sure why I created this thread.
    There's many. Generally, inability to deal with our lives lol.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hux View Post
    What's I/O?
    Honestly not sure why I created this thread.
    There's many. Generally, inability to deal with our lives lol.
    I was known as I/O on other sites. And, I cannot comment on zero information other than to say that most people go through break-ups.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    How long were you two together for @Hux ? What did you guys like/dislike about each other?

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    I'm sorry for that...

    Is this the first relationship you've gotten into? What about him/her was different?

    How was it while it lasted? Better times you had? How did you meet him/her?

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    Arete GuavaDrunk's Avatar
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    *pat pat*
    Reason is a whore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    How long were you two together for @Hux ? What did you guys like/dislike about each other?
    So, we kinda got back together/planned to, today. It's complicated, just like what everyone will say. We've been together for a few months, not a lot but things certainly changed a fuck ton.
    I guess I liked that he was emotionally available and just good with emotions. He's also the kind of person that no one really knows anything about, unless he chooses to show it. Which makes it interesting and it shows whenever he opens up. But something that always make us fight or rather, something about him that contributed to the fight is that he'd not be direct AND smooth/gentle when articulating his needs, its either he goes about it in a wishy washy way (I really take things surface level) or doesn't make it known, and in the end everything comes exploding out.
    I've told him I know several XEIs to do that too, and that he should really tell me directly (but not harshly, this was the excuse he came up with but he was harsh) before it gets too late. He didn't listen. So in the end, all his problems came up ALL together. Major fuckfest.
    Not sure about him, though. What he likes or dislikes about me, I mean.
    Last edited by Hux; 03-22-2020 at 02:40 PM. Reason: Forgot to answer one part whoops

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    Quote Originally Posted by wmcbbyld View Post
    I'm sorry for that...

    Is this the first relationship you've gotten into? What about him/her was different?

    How was it while it lasted? Better times you had? How did you meet him/her?
    Nope, not exactly. First relationship was with an ESFp. It wasn't interesting though. I think both of us felt the same.
    Different was just him being able to capture my interest and keep this interesting. It's good and bad.
    It's always changing. Better times also felt like I was "changing", in a way. Like I was being a better person, more empathetic, understanding because of him.
    Ahhhh. Now, that's a long story. One that I don't really want to tell.

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    @GuavaDrunk Thank

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    Aw. He made u a better person on the inside and u made him/her actually leave their house a bit? lol? SLE/IEI duality in action.

    but I think I do improve morally from SLEs in a strange way, I think they make me more ethical and I also make them 'kick ass' more too... it works both ways really to me. I don't view myself as just this moral thing. God knows I don't always know or do the 'right' thing myself anyway dear god no lol.

    Even if things didn't work out between u and this IEI well- there is still hope u will find somebody that works. <3

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    @BandD
    Hmmm...How do you improve morally? Any examples?
    Yeah, aha, we plan to take a nine month break but... I don't do well with waiting. So I'm almost over him It's also because I don't think it'll ever be the same, there's just so much hurt and misunderstandings to allow us to ever fully recover.

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    @Hux

    If you had a big awkward fight where you both hurt each other's feelings a lot then no, something like that its impossible to recover from completely because it creates a deep emotional scar and those you've loved always have the potential to hurt you way more than those who naturally hate you- because a vulnerability and trust was destroyed. It probably won't ever the same, but it also doesn't mean it has to terminate completely. You could still learn how to be friends again. Maybe.

    I guess by improve morally.... I mean, as an IEI I can have a bad habit of avoiding reality and getting lost in a fantasy world. When a SLE or SEE is around tho it makes me want to show up and actually face the harsh real world lol. It's actually pretty immoral to just kind of stay in a fantasy world, I have tried to justify this before by realizing and saying its only a fantasy but still... you don't really grow that way.

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    @BandD
    I wouldn't call it a big awkward fight. It's just a series of fights that added to the load, and at the end he said some extremely unpleasant things I doubt I can forget. For him, I think it's just a matter of viewing all these in another way, being less attached and empathetic. And it won't work, especially when what I love about him is his empathy.
    But I agree. Enemies can never have the same potential of hurting us.
    About terminating completely: It'll certainly be nice to keep in touch, but both of us will def be awkward, haha. Plus you never know if hidden feelings arise, one of us gets a new person, etcetera. Yeah, definitely awkward.

    So living in a fantasy is immoral because you don't grow that way? Hm, that's certainly an unusual way of saying it. Not exactly the conventional meaning of "moral" either.

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    @Hux

    This is probably not that helpful but... as an IEI I know I can say really hurtful and shocking things to others at times. My feelings are easily hurt... but I also easily hurt others' feelings. (I'm a DPS class who wants to be a healer kind of) I don't actually mean it at the time even if it seems like I do. (that's kind of a cliche and dumb thing to say but its true idk) I know that's probably not that helpful.... but uhhhh. I hope you two make up more. <3

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    @BandD
    Don't know why IEIs really love being helpful, sometimes you don't have to be <3
    But that's interesting, did you say those because of impulse, then? Sometimes when XEIs in my life say hurtful things it comes as a shock since they can be really blunt, which is a contrast to their normal personality. But to me you guys are really confusing and I can't for the life of me understand you. For example I was bored so I started talking to him, he replied a little and stopped replying so I'd take it as he lost interest but I wouldn't know what to do, sometimes he runs hot and cold. And honestly...I don't think we will last either. He's like a social recluse except when he works but he doesn't want to further his education anyway. Doubt we can last.

    Other than this confusing relationship thing I also can't generally understand XEI thought processes, some of the things you do don't really make sense to me, or y'all don't like to explain your stuff. Though you guys can seem open there's really a hidden buried layer that no one really has access to.

    But what do you think he's thinking in this case? He said he likes his space in the relationship but will miss me, but not talking to me causes no heartbreak because he claims to constantly worry about me and shut off his emotions everytime he worries about me leading to this lack of empathy yadda yadda. Ok I am confused by myself (and hungry). Sorry if I'm not talking sense because I know I'm rambling xD
    Last edited by Hux; 03-25-2020 at 09:18 AM. Reason: added stuff

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    Sorry to hear that.
    What was him like at his worst?

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