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Thread: I typed this once but it disappeared and I redid it once again. Please recognize my efforts and type me

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    Hux's Avatar
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    Default I typed this once but it disappeared and I redid it once again. Please recognize my efforts and type me

    What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
    With friendships I look for a close knit group of around 3-4 friends, where trust and loyalty is earned and when we do trust, we share our thoughts, emotions with one another. This group can be within a larger group of surface level friends, where we have fun together and Instagram it. In romantic relationships I look for a compassionate, empathetic partner. Someone that sees me for who I am, notices the good in me underneath my cold appearance, and have confidence in me. Someone whom I can open up to and they can open up to me as well. A partner that can stir up emotions and make it interesting, as stagnant relationships lose their touch, even if they are constantly positive. A partner that can take the heat and not feel stressed out by my ventings, recognize that I do that only because I trust them and want them to see what I feel. They don't necessarily have to solve my problems, just support me because with the right amount of support, I believe I can overcome my problems.

    What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
    I encountered conflict with my IEI partner. It happened due to a variety of reasons, mainly because they didn't feel heard and I focused more the topic instead of them. (I may talk more about it in a thread) Regular conflicts happen with people I am close to, as I will start holding unconscious expectations of them, maybe misjudging the closeness of our relationship and expecting more out of it.

    In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
    I can manage well in practical matters, like finding a route to a new destination. I would like help in recognizing the intentions of people, learning how to deal with uncertainties in relationships.

    What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
    I like it when someone shows an interest in me and show that they like me. It may come off as superficial to others, but it makes me feel good when engaging with them. People that have strong values and abide by them with no exception annoy me. These people may not help even their friends if it goes against their beliefs, and while people may praise them for being moral, it comes off as selfish and uptight to me.

    In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
    I can't really think of real fulfilment. But maybe those times where I had a large gang of friends, and I felt well liked and socially fulfilled.

    How do you behave around strangers?
    If they are friendly, I am friendly too. If they are hostile, I get hostile. If they keep their distance, I will keep mine.

    How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
    I normally confront the person I am conflicting with, in an attempt to solve the issue. If someone insults or attacks me, I may let anger get the better of me (although I try not to). If I manage to control myself, I can either give a comeback or act like the person does not exist, if circumstances do not favour me.

    Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
    Yes, when I'm alone at home for long periods of time. I tend to get depressed, but after I engage with something I feel good again.

    How do you dress or manage your appearance?
    I try to dress appropriately. Normally I dress in black. I like to look well put together.

    What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
    In primary school, I fought back, in a way, against the girls that bullied me, but not in a mature way. I have changed since then, learning new things all the time and improving the way I deal with troublesome people.

    Do you like kids? Why or why not?
    No. They often bump into me, screaming, in malls.

    How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
    I like attention, but only seek it out when with friends. And only if I am in a sociable mood.

    What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
    Yes. I have mentioned it previously, but I will talk a bit about it here. My IEI partner has been acting confusing recently, and I have been overthinking, thinking perhaps he lost interest, perhaps he doesn't like me anymore, and not trusting my gut on it. He said he needs a break, and I am giving it a break, but his refusal to state an estimated duration makes me anxious, because the future is so uncertain and I can't act on it. Inaction makes me anxious sometimes, knowing I can't make an impact, and doing more will cause an inverse effect. This is a problem of mine.

    What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
    When I think of my ideal work environment, I think of a nice, quiet office with a wonderful view and quiet music playing in the background as I work. I look for a cooperative team to work with, and we can advance together. A job that satisfies me can be psychology research, or working in intelligence agencies. Something that is exciting, uncertain/unpredictable (in a positive way) can keep me on my toes.

    What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
    I feel uncomfortable if nothing I do can gain me what I want. To eliminate the unpleasant feelings, I will work on myself, think of a strategy and calm myself down.

    Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
    Yes, if my team is cooperative and interested. Also, if a leadership position gives me a higher ranking, it would be great as well. Not sure about the area part though.

    How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
    I get frustrated easily. I get angry sometimes, when people deliberately try to be difficult, or do not want to provide me direct communication. Also when they are aggressive, passive aggressive, and ruins my day. People that mock me outwardly make me angry too.

    Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
    I will try to ask them why, provide them a solution. But if they need emotional comfort, I may feel awkward and uncertain, slightly uncomfortable in the situation. I will usually give them a pat on the back and give them my presence. I normally provide silent comfort in situations like this. Just a listening ear or company, likely.

    What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
    With my partner. It made me emotionally uncomfortable and has been bugging me. I do not do well with waiting games, and he hasn't been particularly understanding either, even after I told him I feel uncomfortable with that. Just overthinking, emotional, and wondering if this will be worth it in the end. But I have a hard time identifying intentions of people and can't reach a satisfactory conclusion about this.

    What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
    I don't think there are any deep meanings. Most of us just want to go through life, achieve our goals, desires, and probably feel satisfied and content with life. It's a natural human desire. I think it is human nature to look for satisfaction in life, and therefore our purpose is to be satisfied. Something I find personally meaningful is when I encounter many obstacles but power through them, through pure determination and will. It builds me up and shows me that I am strong enough, all the time. It makes me confident, and encourages me to push on during tough times.

    The end! Hope you help me because I've been conflicted between a few types ;-;

  2. #2
    Hux's Avatar
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    Anyone?

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    SLE?

    I don’t know why you are asking though it seems very straight forward.

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    I agree that SLE seems most likely.

    Sorry to hear that your partner needs a break. In my experience, that is very bad news. Every time I needed a break from a partner, or my partner needed a break from me, that was the beginning of the end. I hope you have better luck.

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    .
    Last edited by ergot; 06-03-2020 at 08:41 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by somnambulat0ry View Post
    if you're able to find words for them,
    what are examples of expectations you place on the close people - that differentiate them from the instagram friends? is it an offer for a room to sleep in when you're in a pinch, a car to borrow , reassurance of the trajectory of a relationship or career , something else altogether ?
    It's tough to explain since I haven't thought about that much, it's just a general feeling I get when I notice people's reactions during times where I need help.
    I guess you can say that, someone who has my back, will help willingly when I face issues. It's clear like when I need materials for some work and yet they aren't willing to share, but ask me for help with theirs. Also in some cases, expectations that they will be there when I am emotionally vulnerable.

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    Thanks for the responses!
    It doesn't seem as straightforward to me. I've gotten suggestions like LSI and SEE, and I can't pin down a type by myself right now which is why I created a thread.

    Strange, I've also heard of the break>breakup thing. With this relationship I'm more optimistic though, since I've gotten positive responses. We'll see! Sorry about your partners, btw.

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