motherly types: healthy?

[alex]

As I lean INTj in socionics, ESFJ is my given duality partner. This type is basically the archetype for 'mother'. Given that finding a replacement for your mother is considered unhealthy, is this relationship particularly prone to producing unequal (thus unhealthy) partnerships?

I believe I've met such a well-balanced gal of said type and I'm wondering in what way (is it expected?) I can reciprocate the small things. An example: we both study late nights in the library. Sometimes she brings things like cookies and shares one or two with me. I appreciate this intensely but being the extraordinarily austere dude I am, naturally never have anything in which to give back. I guess the solution is just to be more giving..

[Creepy-]

it's not unhealthy. she just gives you all the things good mother should give you and will give all the things that one should not.
cook me dinner, clean the house and then F*** my brains out? And all I have to do come up with analytical situations to her problems.
Sounds great man. you are stressing about nothing

[kellenheller]

just wait until she starts in on the "you shoulds" and you'll remember why you don't want to date your mother...

intj independence is hard-wired

[Hugo]

If your mother is esfp then you are going to have problems.

[metaiwan]

I guess ESFjs meet the 'motherly' stereotype in alot of ways, but then again not everyone had an ESFj mom. Mine was completely different. Anyway if she's ESFj just tell her how much you appriciate the cookies, and the listen alot when she talks, give her feedback. She'll like that alot more than cookies.

[MysticSonic]

This is an ESPECIALLY interesting insight, considering the fact that INTjs are supposedly infantile in their romantic seekings. Since it is natural for INTjs to feel such a way, I'm also assuming it's completely healthy to be romantically attracted to someone who represents such an archetype.

[Kirana]

hey, what's wrong with ESFPs? i have a best friend who is ESFP (my complete opposite, now that i think of it) and i think she'd make a great mom.

[Cone]

Actually being able to be attracted to someone who is similar to your opposite sex parent without that similarity being sought out consciously is a sign of psychological health. If you seek it out (or avoid it) intentionally however then it can most definitely be problematic.

Interesting. That may explain why I'm dating an ESTj (the conflictor to my mother, INFp,) and why I have acidic reactions to people who show over-the-top emotions and emotional manipulation, and why I'm heavily attracted to unemotional, unprovocative INTj females (a trait to which I am quite ashamed of. :wink: )

[Hugo]

what's wrong with ESFPs?

There is nothing wrong with ESFps.