Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
@Accipiter, ILI’s have minds that actually work. A mature SEE is going to value that above everything else. Also, SEE’s want to be the only one on stage, and an ILI is happy to let them get all the attention. That is not going to be true of any other type, and the SEE will eventually come to painfully realize this.

Sometimes, people have to screw up in every possible way before they eventually come to a final conclusion. On the other hand, I was talking with a gay male ESI about his choice of a gay male ILI, and he said that while the relationship had many drawbacks (two introverts just tend to sit and wait for the other to do something, and there are some jarring mismatches in how they treat each other and how they understand the world), he said that he had to consider the whole picture. And compromise.

I, like you, have found that my ESI Duals do not often orient towards me. I find ESI’s with other introverts, like ILI’s (very common) or SLI’s or other ESI’s, or they have EII’s or IEI’s as close friends. If they are Sx-first, they might go for a Sensor like an SLE. Almost never do they seem to find LIE’s. At least, that has been my experience. It could be that I’m just late to the party and missed all the dual hookups or I have the wrong set of friends. IDK.

I’d just recommend being yourself. Sooner or later, if you circulate, you are going to meet a great SEE who sees your true value, and you have the added advantage of knowing that they have the potential for being a great match.

A few hours spent with you and they will begin to see that you can bring some much-needed order and clarity to their chaotic lives. And that you are easy to get along with. And who doesn’t like that?
I agree with Mr. Strange that typically SEE's just want the spotlight. The 3 SEE's in my life are very interested in people who can help them avoid walls in the way to their goals. If someone is willing to let them steer the ship and lead them, they will slowly start to like the person. It can rub some people like myself the wrong way but they have an ability to attract people who provide them with information for their endeavors. They don't wanna be told what to do but what are possible pitfalls on their path so they can adjust and avoid them.

I suspect that a lot of Fi-leading types are shaped by the cultures they grew up in. It can cause trouble for an LIE because they are inclined to question the deeply held customs of a new culture. A lot of ESI's take that very personally and instantly write off that kind of person in their minds as a possible troublemaker. So they can have a harder time getting with someone who doesn't fit their specific cultural expectations of an ideal person.