Last edited by Farag; 02-09-2020 at 11:48 PM.
A period doesn't provide much to go off of unfortunately.
I'm gonna need a bit more context than a period my dude but given your post I could actually bet money you value "so" way more than you'd like to admit...
Okay Sorry lol
I always was that intense kid who didn't love groups , not because i hated the people but i just wanted to talk to one person at a time, maybe i am just SO/SX not even SO last, but afterwards i have learned to talk in groups, i just still that same intense person who wanted to talk to one at a time. Every time i had to go to a social event, I hated it ( Maybe because i am an introvert not SO last ), but when i go, when i talk to a groups of people sitting in front of me and watching me doing whatever i do, I just had that intensity that grabs attention, I didn't have to get their attention ( i think any introvert is like this but IDK) and i didn't like this attention, I just had those embarrassing moments because of it, every time i just get the attention of everybody, especially when i am in awkward situations LOL, maybe i am just an SP dominant who didn't want to leave home but to be specific to not get embarrassed, (IDK if that's even related to SX, but i think, yep, and maybe i am an SO Dominant ), but now everybody just ignore me like i am an outcast idk why lol, but i don't care anyway.
I had that friend who was always giving me that mental stimulation i wanted, he was sharing his thoughts with me, i didn't have anybody who did this, but him, he was my source of intensity, but a year ago i knew that new friend, we was good in the beginning, we had fun together, but i didn't really call him a "friend" because i didn't know him that well, and when i tried, i discovered that he wasn't that intense, he just "didn't fall in my SX category" ( can this mean i am an SO last ? ) i just got antsy with him, i hated it.
but, i am definitely an SO last because i extremely identify with the idea of not being really "close" to anybody, and i really resent anyone who doesn't fall in my SX category, what i am not sure about is, am i an SX/SP ? or SP/SX ?
more about the SP, i think i appear withdrawn, but not too much, i only talk to my close friends or just walk away when i am unhealthy, sometimes i just talk to some but appear like i am extremely uninterested if i didn't get the intensity i want, people think i hate them but i am just unhealthy, but when i am healthy, just anybody i can talk to if my friends aren't there. i appear intense, i rarely like leaving home lol, only when i want to! Tell me if you want any more information.
Sorry for my english by the way.
I extremely identify with the idea of having inner confidence rather than social confidence (Like the SX/SP).
Last edited by Farag; 02-12-2020 at 11:35 AM.
What do you mean?
it is said too that is SX repulse mate in the same way it attracts it, i somewhat identify with that too.
You're probably so/sx with strong sx. You look for intensity(sx), but only when connecting with people(so).Sx dom would value intensity in anything above connecting with people. Imagine a mad artist/scientist/revolutionary/lover, someone who would abandon his friends for the "juice".You also fixate a lot on how others view you, for ex "as an outcast" or as a friend, etc...
Sp doms don't get antsy easily. Maybe you think you are an sp because you are an introvert?
I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb
Life is soup. I'm fork
You are probably right. But I got antsy with him because there was no chemistry. I just don't care about politics, trends, anything like that. And I don't get antsy easily, I think I am patient person, I mean, a lot, I just don't care about being an outcast or not, I just didn't anything to anyone. But you are right about me being fixated on how others view me, but maybe because I am SO last, I mean maybe because its my least developed instinct? Maybe. But I am not always searching for intensity in people, I search it more in movies, when I watch movies alone. I am an "all or nothing" person because when I do something I like to do it with complete intensity, and I don't like it when someone distract me when I am doing it, this is why I watch movies alone. But maybe movies example is not enough, everybody watch movies. most of the time i am reckless if I am with my friends, and I just DON'T CARE how others view me, it is said that INFPs do that a lot, by making a bubble around them, I think its the SP in instinctual variants? I don't know, but i think mbti has no relation with enneagram. but anyway, i don't like it when anyone from my friends go against me in anyway, like "with me or against me" attitude. But yep, maybe I think i use SP or i am an SO last because I am an introvert, because i don't call anyone a "friend" easily, and even being my friend doesn't mean they are "close" to me.
but hey, maybe my fixation on how others see me, or to be more specific, how i see my behaviors while being around other ( that means i am being Self-Aware while being around others ) , i mean there is difference, because i am in the shame triad, if that makes sense?
SP is about being alone or having space to not having to cater to other people demands or expectation. how can i know the difference if i am being introverted or i am an SO last? i mean they are the same... ?
Last edited by Farag; 02-12-2020 at 11:33 PM.
In the simplest way, do you know why i thought of myself as an SX dominant? Because i didn't ever care about politics or trends or even being in groups i think it is just a waste of my time, nor giving much caring about health or taking care very much of my body. i only liked intense things like watching movies or completely indulging myself in something, lately i noticed that i developed habits about the things i was obsessed about ( Like knowing my instinctual variants LOL ), without even realising it. sometimes when i am unhealthy i have a scattered focus, and being ungrounded ( does that mean i am an SP last? ) , and sometimes i just sleep a lot, not exactly sleeping but thinking about the things i am obsessed about ( Daydreaming ), So i think i am an SX Dominant, because i didn't value anything above intensity and intimacy, everything was "meaningless", this is what the SX about, Having "meaning". so i became caring about my health more and about other people more. and i am enneagram 2 btw, i have mistyped as a 4, because i wanted to do things in my own way, having individuality, and "independence" as well, i think thats mean i am not SP last, but i am here for help, can just anyone tell me?
I tried to know which is my instinctual variants by my enneagram, but it seemed to be STUPID, it is saying the seduction of 2 SX is by being Hot, the seduction of 2 SO is by having position ? i don't remember, and seduction of 2 SP is by being child-like and cute, Okay, WTF??! How can i know if i am being Cute or Hot LOL, and anyone can be Cute or Hot, does that even make sense???? i gone to another site, that says, 2 SX is seductive by giving their attention to someone who want it, and by doing that, they are being seductive. Okay, this sounds like me A LOT, i mean this is ME, but i am not sure if 2 SX is the only one who do it, or any other type, or that is wrong?? but it seem to be right, i mean 2 is trying to be helpful by giving their attention. (SX).
As for the rest it feels like an emphasized displayed "intensity", almost like an image you're trying to portray that isn't really you.
I'm catching an sp/sx vibe so far.
Okay thank you very much guys
I'll try to findout if I am so/sx or sp/sx.
The problem is the first time I tested myself I was sx/so, and then sx/sp, and tested myself on eclectic and I got 4 sx, then I searched the description, in the beginning 4 sx sounded like me alot, I loved competition alot, but only to prove myself if I needed to, not to be higher than anybody else. And I tested myself again and I got 2 sx, and searched it, It sounded like me too. I think that confused me.
Last edited by Farag; 02-14-2020 at 12:55 AM.
I am still in the same loop lol, searching whether I am an so/sx or sp/sx
Hey, I don't know if that has any relation to the instinctual variants, but if a person tried to approach me like trying to be my friend, I push him away, not because I hate him, not because I don't like people, but I wan't him to accept me with all of my flaws, so I show my worst traits before my best. Does that have any relation to instinctual variants or enneagram? If yes, please tell me which type do this, thank you.
Beatrice chestnut said that the blindspot is the instinct you REPRESS , not to be BLIND about, so by my focusing on the social realm doesn't mean that I am not an so-last.
And if instinctual variants is all about priorities then I value mental or emotional stimulation first, my health and body, and of course independence second, and third the social realm, or politics, trends, any groups. Then I THINK I am an sx/sp and I came to this site to make sure that I am sx/sp, so please tell me how can I identify my instinct in the first place so I can then read the descriptions.
Do you think so? LOL.
True chemistry is indeed in the realm of humans, not just sx, as much as we all need time alone and groups to support us through life.
Be aware of instinct subtypes (link), in that if you happen to be so/sx or sp/sx with accentuated secondary sx instinct it would make it very easy to consider and confuse that secondary instinct as your primary one.
sounds like me, andMay exhibit knee-jerk reactionssounds like me but not much,They aren't any less healthy by definition, but can seem that way due to their darker, more confrontational manner.
idk ? maybe i am SO/SX, idk really, The first time i tested myself, i was SX/SO, I didn't know anything about the instinctual variants. so, i didn't "portray something i am not", and i thought i was SP-last, because sometimes i have my head in the clouds, but now i don't, can instinctual variants develop? , then the second time i tested myself, i got SX/SP. maybe i am SO-last, or SP-last, or even SX-last. the three (Least developed instincts) descriptions portray me in different circumstances, but mostly, SO-last, i tend to procrastinate when it comes to SO things, maybe because i am an introvert, Or maybe i am SO-last, but if i am, then am i SX/SP or SP/SX? the confusing thing is the descriptions, every description sounds different. i think the best way to determine my instinct is First, find my Last instinct and then compare between the two instincts i have, which one is dominant and which one is not. but from what @phi said i sounds more like SX and SP, but SO is not my thing, probably because i am an Introvert. it's like i have social awareness but specifically, gender awarenes, like the SX/SO, most of the SX/SO description like they are talking about me, but now, not exactly. i mean, it was like me, but now no, does instincts develop? maybe i was SX/SO and then i am SX/SP? lol.
Thank you anyway.
Enneagram Two subtypes descriptions
Self-Preservation Two -Seeking Saftey/Comfort:
Udit Patel Entitlement (Ichazo's "Me First")
Twos typically deal with their own self-preservation needs by first taking care of others' self-preservation needs. They feel that they will win others' love by providing them with nurturing and caretaking. They derive a great deal of satisfaction from feelings of service to others or to causes. They are able to anticipate people's needs and then try to fulfill them. ("You poor thing, you look hungry.") Of course, after taking care of others for a while, Self-Pres Twos begin to expect that others will reciprocate and take care of their needs. But because they are Twos, they feel that they cannot ask directly for what they need. They must drop hints and continue to take care of the other person with the hope that he or she will eventually respond with care for the Two. Over time, this gives Self-Pres Twos a feeling of entitlement. ("After all I've done for them, I deserve this treat.") The problem is that Self Pres Twos feel ashamed of having physical needs. Thus, when others fail to reciprocate in the way that Twos hope, they may privately overindulge in self-preservation "goodies"—comfort foods, sweets, drink, and prescription medicines are frequent choices. They keep hidden stashes of their favorite indulgences as a way of compensating for feelings of loneliness and rejection. Unfortunately, the rewards that Self Pres Twos give themselves often endanger their health and well being, which ironically, undermines their ability to help others.
Self-preservation Twos often harbor a striking sense of entitlement. May act superior to others and expect preferential treatment that reinforces their pride. Can seem shameless in their expectation of pampering. Behind this attitude is a logic that says, "I give and do so much for others, I deserve to be treated as someone special." Like an unconscious collection of fees for sacrifices made. Others who encounter this attitude are often amazed at a self-preservation Two's self- importance and diva-like behavior. Real-life people with this subtype often have a 3 wing. Dip easily to the low side of 8 when angry.
Social Two - Seeking Acceptance/Belonging/Inclusion/Status:
Udit Patel Everybody's Friend (Ichazo's "Ambition")
Social Twos feel loved by having an important place in the lives of their friends, family, and colleagues. They fear being left out of social events and gatherings, so they try to make themselves indispensable to whatever groups they are involved with. They often become advisors, mentors, matchmakers, and social-event coordinators for many people in their lives. They enjoy introducing people to one another and generally act as the "social hub" of whatever they are involved with. They derive great satisfaction from giving advice to trusted friends and often initiate new relationships by offering some kind of service or counsel. Social Twos have a subtle "radar" for people in need of a sympathetic audience and may appear with a smile and some kind words. They especially like to give counsel to people they see as important. While the pride of the Two does not allow them to have social ambitions of success and fame for themselves, they often achieve these things indirectly by becoming "the power behind the throne." Thus, they are able to rise socially by attaching themselves as advisors and primary supports to someone who is successful in some way. Social Twos tend to be outgoing and high-spirited, often resembling Sevens, and to get energy from their interactions with their friends. Indeed, Social Twos think of all of their colleagues and acquaintances as friends and their friends as family. They usually know the names of all of the local shopkeepers, the mailman, the waiters, and bartenders at their favorite restaurants and bars, and so forth.
But here i tend to make the two suffers (Commitments and relationships).When less balanced, Social Twos can scatter themselves in a large number of social commitments-trying to serve many people, but often causing primary relationships to suffer.
Twos with this subtype are notable for their ambition, particularly to be publicly recognized as someone special. Seek attention either directly from their own efforts or via affiliation with powerful people. In the former scenario, a Two works to draw an audience through socially useful works or some kind of performing. Confuse being noticed with being loved. Can sometimes act provocative or obnoxious as this is better than being ignored. Might also marry someone influential and concentrate their energies on the spouse's ambitions. Can groom their children to become achievers. Stage mothers and political spouses are possible roles. Often have a 3 wing but a 1 wing is possible.
SOURCESexual Two - Seeking Intimacy/Intensity:
Udit Patel Craving Intimacy (Ichazo's "Aggression")
Sexual Twos feel that they will feel loved by attaining complete, profound intimacy with someone. Thus they are driven to be as close to their loved ones as possible. They attempt to win a place with people by focusing intensely on the other's needs, hopes, and interests. They enjoy the process of learning about potential partners and make it their business to become acquainted with the other's world. It is as if the Sexual Two was seeking to get "in synch" with the other in as many different ways as possible. Similarly, the Sexual Two will enjoy finding out what the other likes, whether it is a favorite food, cologne, style of music, or favorite place for vacationing. Needless to say, Sexual Twos will then do their best to provide these things for their intimates. Moreover, most people love to be the center of attention, and Sexual Twos know this, lavishing the other with attention, affection, and praise. In this sense, they are seductive-getting others interested in spending time with them by making the other their object of adoration. Sexual Twos also like to touch and be touched by the people they are drawn to, often initiating physical contact in a relationship—even in a friendship. When less balanced, Sexual Twos can become obsessed with a lover and can have great difficulty letting go of a relationship.
Tend to act seductive and aggressive by turns. Basic interest is in finding romantic union. Generally confuse sexual desirability with being loved and valued. Act receptively interested in others, use inviting touches. May ooze some combination of charm and sexuality. When they encounter resistance will begin to push and challenge. Try to find a way around the other's objection. May go militant and angrily blame (connection to 8). Behind these flare-ups is a melancholy desire for total enmeshed connectedness to another. Yearning is related to the low side of 4.
Last edited by Farag; 02-19-2020 at 11:05 AM.
I figured out that my instinctual variants was sx/sx with sx-blindspot