hm. on the brink of a nervous breakdown
So I've been obsessively learning about the types and functions for the last week and i still cannot decide between EII and IEI for the life of me so if someone could help me I'd be forever grateful... I've tested as IEI continuously since last year, when i first heard of socionics, but I think I could also be EII? I've read a *lot* on both EIIs and IEIs and the functions but most of the time I can relate to both Ni/Fe and Fi/Ne?? (I'm a 4w5 sx/sp btw)
I mean, I'm definitely very sensitive to any room's atmosphere and I'm really good at reading body language in general, but I rarely try to actually change the mood unless I'm very familiar/comfortable with the people involved. I'm also very private with my feelings and I don't really like being in the limelight, except if I'm in a small group of people I'm close with—then I take up quite a lot of space and I tend to put on a show. Otherwise I try to basically fade in the background... I'm very, very bad with logical and methodical tasks and it usually takes up a lot of energy for me to mobilize myself to do basically any task that's been assigned to me, and 99% of the time I'll be lost in thoughts and fantasies, which seems a little far off from the stereotype off service-oriented EIIs? I tend to be also quite light-hearted around other people and when I tell stories or anecdotes I'm usually very dramatic and (I think???) funny, which goes against what I read on delta quadra. On the other hand I'm very uncomfortable in large groups of people and I'm think I'm more declaring than asking,,
I also wouldn't describe myself as diplomatic—I can often hurt people and I tend to say what i think with little regards to the other's feelings (as long as we're not close/I don't really care about them. If I'm actively trying to be liked by someone I obviously won't insult them to their face,, generally.) I don't know if I'm particularly concerned with morals, either? I can excuse a lot if I like someone, and I'll be more judgmental towards someone who annoys me personally than towards someone who's objectively "bad" but whose presence is pleasant. I also tend to be attracted to people who I see as "strong" (type 8s generally) because they tend to compensate for my weak points (efficiency, motivation, being attuned to reality) and I, theirs (my favorite activity is basically introspection, so that tends to come in handy)
IEIs are often described as being very careful with how they dress, which can be my case but more often than not, isn't. I'll only dress up if im meeting with someone, otherwise I care very little for how I look. I tend to be pretty detached from any and all physical things, my own body included. Talking bodies: in relationships (not sexual) I tend to alternate between caregiver (mostly around my LII and IEE friends), childlike and victim? (I guess i could take on aggressor eventually, too, if it was needed in a given situation.)
Lastly: Filatova's description of IEIs definitely fits me but I can't see myself in that of EIIs?
1. The dreamer and romantic, IEI is easily separated from reality, knows how to sense events, to notice their dynamics. He sees the concealed potential within people, his inner essence, is capable of proposing new ideas in areas of interest.
2. Knows how to influence the moods of others, to cause reactions deemed necessary by method of an “emotional surge”, but not by pressure, he readily manifests warmth and participation. Loves to speak about the moral problems, about the norms of behavior, he calls those near to him to acknowledge his observations.
3. His fitness for work is unpredictable as it depends exclusively on his mood. He frequently possess low energy and therefore finds it difficult to force himself to work. Formal hierarchy, structure, organizing, systematization … all these only serve to irritate and tire him, he doesn’t see the “living soul” in these, which is necessary to motivate him.
4. He ably feels the beauty, harmony, and commensurability in the world, but badly manages practical tasks; poor at performing repetitive chores and following precise procedures; may overspend money and look down on what he deems as "penny-pinching".
1. – The main interest of EII is focused on the moral norms of behavior, considers it necessary to listen to all whom require their sympathy and help. Very emotional but believes that one ought not to concentrate just on the bad things, but to seek the positive sides of life.
2. – Possesses an excellent eye for promising long-range opportunities; knows how to manipulate variants and select the most promising one. Prefers methodical activities, is frequently disturbed by the future.
3. – Relates poorly to anything involving violence. While on one hand they resist external pressures, on the other they’re prone to tyrannize themselves internally. Find it difficult to efficiently complete household tasks, organize their budget, and purchase necessary things.
4. – Subordinate themselves to a system of order so long as not they’re not forced. Does not develop interest in theories of an abstract nature. Not always capable of organizing work efficiently, spends much time ineffectively spending resources, capable of overworking in order to make up for this.
Though I definitely relate more to this part of an EII's description:
When she first arrives amongst a group of people she holds herself back. Once she has established a degree of control in regards to the psychological atmosphere of occurences within the group, and only then, after she has soaked herself in the atmosphere, will she consider becoming a full-fledged member of the collective.
If you've come this far.... I owe you my life
A tough choice, between IEI e4 and EII e4. I have a slight opinion, based on some of the things you said, but have you considered your Erotic Attitude?
There is a world of difference between how most people feel about sex as a Victim or an Infantile. As an Sx-first, you should have a pretty good idea of which approach you prefer.
I should learn to read. You did mention erotic attitudes. >_<
Hi Catho. I've been through the same thing on the same typings and I'm also an E4 and usually test IEI. I also struggled initially between IEI and EII, only to realize I may be an entirely different type (thanks to further studying of the system, paying attention to things in my life, and the help of the forum members, as well as others). The tests are definitely not the way to go. Have you considered that you might be a type other than IEI or EII? What makes you certain you are one of these types? A lot of people say NF's commonly have a really hard time getting typed and I think also irrationals over rationals, not to say others don't as well, but just throwing that out there.
I would be careful with relying on quadras in your typing personally, there are plenty of fun-loving deltas with a wild side out there imo (like some IEE ) and I just find that putting too much emphasis on quadras is not the way to go for me personally. I had a bunch of stuff typed out on my opinions of what you said, but I found myself confused myself and couldn't honestly say if you value Fi, Fe (I gathered evidence on both in different points in what you said) or even if you're an ethics-based type with the info provided, which is on me, not you, I'm not too good at all this. I feel like you are probably more of an irrational type, a "p" type, than a rational "j" one though.
I hope you get help on figuring this out, but just remember, that it can take some time and to take a break from it all if needed, easier said than done I know, but sometimes much needed. I was overly obsessive with it all initially and although I'm still trying to settle on it, I've made peace with not really knowing and realize it's okay. You might want to start by filling out one of the questionnaires if you want some members on the forum who actually know what they are talking about more to help : ) People on the forum can definitely help guide you, but I think in time it will be you who will determine your type, and yes, it may be a while! You've probably already done this, but talking to people who know you in person can help a ton as well, as they actually know you in person. Just remember that they don't know the socionics system and the descriptions aren't everything.
I guess my first reflex would be to say victim but I've had um. Peculiar experiences so I'm not sure if that'd be 100% reliable?? But yea I would say victim i think...
"Victim" agrees with my initial impression of you being IEI. Your last statement, "I owe you my life", is more IEI than EII, in the sense that I think an IEI would say that, while an EII would say "I'd be very grateful for your help".
There is also my belief that IEI's can see themselves as any type, including EII, but that EII's are pretty sure that they are dominant Feelers.
These are not strong reasons for choosing one type over the other, though, merely trends. @bouncingoffclouds has some good advice in her post in this thread.
Aw youre very nice!! Thank you for the advice, and I guess I did get a little too obsessive, haha... I'll figure it out eventually!! Thanks again for the reminder
Ahh thank you!! Yeah, I was a little biaised towards IEI since the start so I guess this supports it? Hm... I'll try to follow bouncingoffclouds' advice and step back, maybe a fresh look will help. But thank you again for your help!!
Vote 50 times and go with the majority winner.
Hey @catho, others have already given you good information, but I'll just chime in by saying you seem IEI. I could totally be wrong, of course, but when you talked about taking up space and putting on a show once you know the people and are comfortable, I thought "IEI." Fe is often channeled into impacting the emotional atmosphere, like Point #2 of Filatova's description where IEI influences moods/states/reactions. The Fi in EIIs centers around the ethics of relations (the "shoulds" and "should nots" of relations).
EIIs might also become more talkative and expressive among people they know, but I don't think they would describe it as trying to take up space. Also, the EIIs I've known aren't good at reading body language (Se PoLR), they're more in tune with how the environment is making their body feel. But IEIs can be, because we're sensitive to Se and tend to be rather watchful in our physical environment. We can be clumsy, but I still think we're pretty aware.
You also talked about not always being diplomatic or noticing if you step on someone's feelings. Do you think that could be related to being Social last? Just a thought.
Being flexible to take on different "roles" depending who you're interacting with (like being a sort of Caregiver when you're with IEE friends), seems very IEI. I do this because I tend to see what a person needs/wants (or at least my interpretation of what they need/want), and then it feels natural to try and care for them in the way I know they best receive love.
I agree with @bouncingoffclouds that quadra values can be tricky. Being a type One I sometimes feel like a black sheep in Beta, like I was adopted I know I'm Beta and I can feel those desires/tendencies, but I've chosen to value certain things that are very non-Beta. Some of that is upbringing, some is choice, and some is due to the fact that Sx-first can look like Fi and type Ones can be moralistic which is often associated with Fi.
Others have already said it, but you sound IEI>EII. There's a softness I associate with EII that probably comes from the Se polr, even in online spaces, which it seems you don't have. The words you use are somehow more biting and carry more direct impact, and the way you write has a "sound" to it that is particularly Fe, as in, you broadcast your emotion clearly, be that confusion or gratefulness, in this thread at the very least.
Hi!! Yeesh, I can definitely see how being a Sx-dom One might make you feel like the odd one out in beta quadra... hang in there!! And yeah, I hadn't thought of that but it makes a lot of sense that being So-blind would bite me in the ass like that -_- Also you summed up pretty well the whole erotic attitudes thing, it resonates a lot.
Originally Posted by Emily
Thank you so much for your input!!
Thats actually really interesting!! I'm not experienced enough to be able to pick up on vibes or to have a clear idea of what most types look like in practice so this kind of input is so cool to me...
Originally Posted by voider