This was something hard to admit. Overall I see myself as someone who generally cares for people. I'm very much concerned with fairness and treating others equally in non discriminating and judgmental way. I have been upset by injustice and unfairness. I like these utopian visions where everyone accepts (not necessarily like) everyone and deal with each others with respect. That is why I try everyone to feel understood and accepted. Even if someone behave bad or cruel, my first intention have always been to find the reason of their behaviour/attitude, the primary cause which could start such development in those people, don't jugde at first and even try to advocate for that person deserving a fair chance if really some great suffering or other unhappy circumstances brought up the bad traits in person.

Because of this I have seen myself for a long time as a typical "caregiver" or even "saviour". However, I realized that when it comes down to concrete individuals and concrete actions, I'm far away from this. I would say I can provide mainly psychological support (eg. listening to someone, being non-judgemental, provide analysis, insights or some ideas...), but I'm not sure that it's the actuall person I care about instead of the idea of how things should be in the ideal world (more personal vs more impersonall approach).

Not to mention what happens when comes to providing physical help and taking care of someone's physical needs. I have always new it was draining for me it's draining to that degree it's even irritating (eg. dinner situation - I truly love my husband and I care for him, but preparing him a dinner every day, even when it's some really simple dish, is so much annoying and generally I'm the most satisfied when each of us can take care for his own meal himself - of course it's even better if he prepares for me too). The scary thing is that, as a female, I really don't see similar attitude in my surroundings. Most of my female relatives (my mum, my sister) and friends I know are genuinely happy (or glad, at least) when they can provide their spouses, even friends (or inanimate objects, as their homes) with physical care and satisfying needs in a physical way.

The second factor why I don't seek and offer providing of physical help is probably that I suck in a lot of "common practical skills" (my mother for example even thinks I have dyspraxia).

So, at the end of the day, I'm really not someone who is a helpful, hands-on "caregiver", and I actually hope other people won't expect it from me.

This all is also connected to my problem with settle on T or F, because what I interpret as care for people could be just care for the idea of some distant utopian humanity and humane values in general more than actual concrete people (their mood, their needs, their actuall satisfaction).

What functions can you identify as playing a role in this?