Want to fit into this typology system, but at the same time just want to be happy

[jackjack]

Probably ESI? You don't seem like a logical type to me. Your post is full of emotional responses and evaluations. Seeming unemotional can be a sign of Fi, too.

I always feel insecure and paranoid. When I was young, I thought I would die any second. The train I was in would fall apart. The bus I was in would crash into buildings. The airplane would fall. When I was hysteric, my whole body would shake in an uncontrollable way and I couldn't make myself stop crying. I thought I would die of heart-attack.

This suggests weak intuition, so probably not IEI. Not that Ni types never feel anxious, but they are usually more comfortable dealing with the future.

If you want something but can't get it, just be more persistent and try harder. Just stop complaining and whining. Even if you can't achieve your dream no matter what you do, you won't regret it.

This makes me think Se is probably in your Ego block. However...

I admire people who can stick to their dreams and never waver. Because I am always hesitant and undecided.

This seems to contradict that. But you follow it with...

I want destiny, grandiosity, God's call, a holy cause, whatever you name it. I cried a lot watching The Young Pope. I wish God could tell me what to do, what I was born for. Jesus Christ, Abraham, Joan of Arc……Really, I envy them.

This makes me think your indecision is based on being unsure which path to take (weak Ni) rather than lacking the willpower to take action (weak Se).

As a people-pleaser, I don't want to hurt others' feelings...I use excuses and lies, but in the end I still get controlled, get into the taxi, get forced to drink, get drunk, get molested, and get broken. In this regard, I wish I am LSI, a powerful girl who can protect herself from any sort of harm.

This sounds like weak Se, but in the context of the rest of your post, I think it just rules out Se as your base function since you're valuing others' feelings over getting your way. On a side note, I'm really sorry this happens to you.

So, ESI is my best guess. But I'm only about 75% sure of that.

[Ada]

Probably ESI? You don't seem like a logical type to me. Your post is full of emotional responses and evaluations. Seeming unemotional can be a sign of Fi, too.


This suggests weak intuition, so probably not IEI. Not that Ni types never feel anxious, but they are usually more comfortable dealing with the future.


This makes me think Se is probably in your Ego block. However...


This seems to contradict that. But you follow it with...


This makes me think your indecision is based on being unsure which path to take (weak Ni) rather than lacking the willpower to take action (weak Se).


This sounds like weak Se, but in the context of the rest of your post, I think it just rules out Se as your base function since you're valuing others' feelings over getting your way. On a side note, I'm really sorry this happens to you.

So, ESI is my best guess. But I'm only about 75% sure of that.

Thanks for your reply and analysis, but I am curious where this 75% comes from? As you can see, my posts are full of logical contradictions, including this one. Among logos, pathos, and ethos, I prefer pathos.