Member Questionnaire 1 (Eskrim)
What is beauty? What is love?
Something with particular order that has its own meaning. The more you connect to the meaning the stronger the beauty. Love to me is a promise.
What are your most important values?
Peace. The ability to not think things as I try to enjoy life. Contribution to society, I always feel like i have something to prove and also make things right. I always look for something wrong.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
There must be something up or out there but I don't know what.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
War is inevitable but the extent that we have now I believe should be reducible.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I've had shallow but long conversations about how consciousness works and the meaning of life with a friend. I'm interested in how the mind works. I just like to have things in order. It gives me a sense of relief. Simultaneously, I like to once in a while bring chaos into my life. In the end, the result of that chaos is reflected upon to see how it can fit into a routine or daily habit.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I'm sensitive to discomforts but I find it hard to do anything about it.
What do you think of daily chores?
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Movie: Most Christopher Nolan movies, actually. I may have watched Inception more than 40+ times.
Books: I can't read the first page of any novel without getting bored, so I don't ever do it for fun. Maybe it has something to do with being scared of misinterpreting one single sentence and therefore misunderstanding the rest of the story after having read so much. I do, however, like to read science books or self help books if I ever get a hold of it.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
An old movie I watched as a kid which was probably The Wizard of Oz. It made me feel a sense of isolation. Yeah, during intense sense of isolation I cry. I smile when I understand things (because I'm always confused and I appreciate these moments when I'm not). I also smile when I can finally sleep, because I always sacrifice sleep for more information I can find to get me to understand whatever it is I don't and want to know.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I never felt like I belong anywhere, but best answer is with my family.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I nag quite a lot. I'm sensitive at any aspect. Emotional, rational, and sensational. That may not be true all the time. I don't hate being so, but I feel like I'm getting in too deep in this life of scrutiny and I'm just deliberately evading so far from what I thought life would be just to reach it.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
A lot of people see me as pretty knowledgeable about anything on topic. Not always true, but that's my rep. They also say good hand-eye coordination, enough for some applauses but nothing competitively impressive. Persistent, too, which I agree and like most about myself, but only in short bursts of time. In the long run I have commitment issues.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
I need sleep and social life, although I deliberately try to stay away from it.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, I had no interest in anything and I failed in schools consistently. My life was a lot of chaos I can't handle, and I felt like there was no point left to live. So I had to figure all of what it means to do anything in life, and I found my personal path.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I hate people who take pleasure in antagonizing itself. I like people who have the capacity to be kind to everyone or anyone and, in conflict, try to negotiate instead of walk away or attack with pride. Not sure if I get along with anyone for long, but I can get along with nice people.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
Ngl, I'm into aesthetics so looks matter. I love an initiative attitude. I don't like to be too controlling with someone but I inevitably do because something has to be initiated somehow.. Other than that Idk, I haven't had many relationships
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I'm concerned I won't give my child the right attention. I'd learn a lot about how my child would behave, know what it likes, etc.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Awkwardness goes inward, outwardness is a form of thinking how this can fit into the framework of my understanding and then find something I can use to relate to the friend. That, or argue about it by proposing my point of view in the form of a question. In other words, I try to reduce the conflict with the person.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
Society can be ignorant but I believe they're good-willed by their own definitions. I think the biggest social problem is a quickly-dismissive attitude.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I just feel these things. I try to be nice to everyone.
How do you behave around strangers?
If they say hi, I'm curious to what they'll say next. Maybe even try to have a conversation.