Last edited by jason_m; 11-25-2019 at 04:51 PM.
You dictate the theory, as you are the creator of your own life.
If theory dictates you, then the Russians have won...
"Time is my horse that stays always my own,
A helmet’s mask-visor – the grate on a hole,
The walls are my armor that’s made of the stone,
My permanent shield is the door’s iron fold.
Time! I desire to speed your hooves’ rattle!
My stony armor is heavy to rise on!
Death, when we’ve come, will help me by the saddle;
I will dismount and rise up my visor."
Why are you even looking for a soul job? Follow the money. You are getting paid to do something. That is why we work. It's an exchange of labour. So that is all you should care about.
Where can you put your talents and get the most out of it? That is what you should be asking yourself.
Do what you love in your free time. Some people don't even need that. They are just happy getting paid. But that is a different subject.
if you do what you do not like - it's a slavery and so makes not happy
material property is not anything needed. for Si valued types it's lesser interesting
Humans are social creatures, it is natural to want or need to be connected to others at some level. However, if you don't have yourself, then you will always have no one despite of the number of people around you.
Some people think that if they find the one, then all of their problems will go away or won't matter that much. That might be true to some extent for some time due to hormonal changes, however, then reality kicks back in. In socionics context the one equivalent to dual. Dual is going to cover all your problems, dual acts like you expect and you act as your dual expects others to act, it sounds like scam. No one is carrying their dual along with themselves 7/24, every person has got to deal with their own problems at certain times. If there is a person who carries their dual 7/24, then it is a problem itself. Duality is no magic, there are problems in every relationship. If someone hasn't dualized before, duality doesn't start and go on smoothly. Even though duals unconsciously communicate and provide each other needed info, they don't always consciously want or need them, they might consciously be against to their unconscious needs due to upbringing etc. It is great to be connected to someone, but there are always going to be problems. No relationship is problem free and there are other areas in life and they are also not problem free, relationships doesn't make them go away.
People spend majority of their time at work, it would be better if more people would search for a compatible occupation. Most people endure their job because of the money or the need of money or just because others also endure it. I think there are multiple ways to accomplish a task and there are a great number of occupations. You can establish your own way instead of following the usual. We can establish our dual career instead of finding one. I think in order to establish a dual job, one must show solid effort and work even just to eliminate non-duals and take some risk. Dual job is also not served in a plate for most people.
A lot of people feel alone. A lot of people search for other people that they could feel connected. A lot of people search for a purpose. A lot of people search for a purposeful career. A lot of people don't have dual person, career, etc. Some people aren't aware of some or all, some are aware but they sweep these under the rug. Some people are still searching for some and/or all. Some people are fine with what they have found. Once a person is aware, problems also don't go away, we have to do deeds. May Morpheus and Janus help us all.
Because of this theory, I have no dual, no soul career - really no career of any kind. It has just ruined my life, and there is no rational explanation why it should be this way...
And I can keep hearing people: "go with peacemaker", "go with director", "go into philosophy" on and on. Sorry, two types and one career I couldn't give a sh*t about and there is therefore no dual and no kind of work for me at all. This has just ruined my life. Because of this theory, my life is now destitute...
I can also just hear people: "if you want money, just get a job you goldbrick." Here's a thought: because of socionics, no career works. Is getting what is now an office-esque job going to help save my life? I can now afford to buy what I want, but complete poverty is now replaced by an absolute dead-end job... That's why I look at my life and say: "How the hell did this happen? How could socionics cause this?"
And I can just hear my 'dual': "You're not honest enough. That's why I don't like you." This post is me being honest. Do you like what you hear? Why do you think I'm usually not completely honest about things?
Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 07:43 AM.
As for your career choice, like I said. If you have no job then you are fucking useless. You can't support yourself. Find a stable job with a pay you can survive on and work yourself up from there. I have no idea about your current situation so I can't really offer any concert advice, but nothing really comes easy. No one is going to throw money at you for being X type. Even your dream job has requirements. How can you be so dense?
Also, there is no right answer for these questions. You are not a droid. Maybe instead of blaming others for steering you the wrong way start planning your own life and making your own decisions.
You are not lacking in self confidence so that is good, but you are crazy if you think things should fall on your lap just like that.
“Success is when preparation meets opportunity."
I also find your advice on career to simply be finger-pointing. Do you have any actual innovative, intelligent advice about finding a career? That I'm 'useless', 'lacking self-confidence', 'blaming others', etc. is not really helpful. I would rather have something I could take to the bank and make a career out of...
The real problem for me is that most careers are not creative and involve tedious, repetitive work - simply feeding data into the computer for hours. I really need something creative or innovative - "architect," "scientist," "inventor." However, those jobs are simply few and far between, so I might be stuck with what is just office work, which now feels like hours of drudgery. I do not know what to do...
Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 08:16 AM.
Maybe it's best to take a step back and leave the theory alone for a moment.
Using socionics to learn about yourself and gain confidence should precede using it to find a "soulmate" or a carrer path. Otherwise you risk to undermine your sense of self-worth.
I don't have a magical hat. Tell me your age, current job/field of study, are you homeless or not, who pays your bills, what are your ambitions in life.. then maybe I can give you something specific.
The careers you listed are not impossible to get into. But do you honestly think you will find yourself in these jobs and why? Do you have any experience in these jobs? Any work that shows your potential? And can't you find another outlet for your creativity outside of your career? Like a hobby or something? Have you heard of FIRE? You don't have to work forever. Some people retire at 30 or 40 and create their own business.
You are not stuck. There are plenty of options. You just have to change your mindset and decide, where you want to be and what are you willing to sacrifice to reach there. Is it time, is it money, or your first born son?
I want to explain a little more about Se: it can be used in a heroic way: there are movie heroes, police officers, and military personnel who use it in a good way. Those people I completely respect. The problem is when it is used in such a way that is sick. To abuse or belittle others, to torture others in some way with it, to bring it to someone's life in a way that is sick or twisted just enrages me. And then that creates a problem: should I use it? If I were to use it, I would come down so hard on the people who are using it, I would just shatter them, but then I would feel ashamed. And then using it makes me feel like I'm like them in some way - even using it in any way makes me feel ashamed. A big part of it is because I cannot find the right dose - I either cannot hit back hard enough or I come down so hard that I just destroy someone, and I therefore hate using it, so I do not use it.
It's not the only function that makes me angry: there is also crackpot religion and crackpot spirituality that I see sometimes being used in a sick way: reincarnation or karma in someone's life who is supposed to be Christian, near death experiences where people come back saying that ****** taught the Jews a 'lesson', karmic practices where spirits 'vote' or 'bet' on someone's fate, 'psychics' with phony smiles and phony demeanors who really have nothing nice to say. The notion that 'all evil is forgiven,' no matter how rank the issue is, including matters such as the Holocaust and Apartheid. People with mental issues not getting the right spiritual treatment, because they're 'clinging to the ghosts.' Satanists and Luciferians whose religious practices involve abusing others. (Those people are not 'Se', but I absolutely cannot stand them.) Fast food spirituality, such as Sylvia Browne or James Van Praagh. Someone mentally ill experiencing 'hallucinations from ghosts' that are supposed to have 'spiritual meaning' or 'significance.' Stupid, pedantic ideologies such as 'it's a cardinal sin to go to church only during the week, but not on Sundays' (That one was Se.) Most of these things don't enrage me, but the logic behind them is so bad that I just want to vomit...
Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 11:10 AM.
And duality is not that hard to experience if you date a lot, and many people have experienced it already, including myself.
What are the factors that you consider when determining or thinking that someone is your dual?
I remember if I had to fight, especially with someone I like, like family members, I would just cry uncontrollably. Even if it was over something silly. I didn't want to fight. But I'm also very territorial about my stuff and my independence. I cannot bring myself to give up that part of me no matter how much I tried. It's essential to my well being. I would have to kill myself to deny that part of me.
But I hated that I had to fight to assert my rights. That people wanted to mess with me. It's like you said. I didn't enjoy it, so I looked for ways to end it fast. I remember getting into martial arts for a while, but that didn't change how I felt about confrontations, so I dropped it.
Eventually I realized I'm not that person. I can't force people to do things for me. I don't want that. But I also realized that what I feared most about confrontations is alienating the people I like, that no one would want to be around the angry/hysterical me. But some people won't respect that you are an independent person and will try to control you every chance they get. It's how they lived their whole lives. They are not used to resistance. These are the people you need to cut from your life. Especially if you feel powerless when they are around. Unfortunately these are usually your family members. I can take so much shit from strangers and give it back, but it's harder with family. I get emotional. I love them.
I had to tell my father that I don't want him in my life anymore when he threatened to disown me. It wasn't easy. I still love him. But I haven't spoken to him for 7 years. He came by a few times and was laughing uncontrollably saying "I'm your father. You can't stay mad at me forever." I'm not, but I can't tell him that. I knew this man for 20+ years and he has no intention to change. I don't want to be in that kind of toxic relationship. He did give up eventually and moved on.
This experience changed me a lot. I used to forgive a lot of people for the way they treated me because I didn't want to ruin my relationships with them. I would go out with them because we have been friends for years. Even though I didn't feel great when we went out. They made me feel like shit. I stopped doing all of that. If I get disrespected by anyone and I see a pattern, they are done. People who don't appreciate you do not deserve your time. I may sit around and laugh with them when we are at work, but we would never meet outside of work even if they were my superiors. Our relationship will stay formal. I don't invest in anyone who can't accept me for who I am. I'm not saying this the ideal way to handle things, but that is what I did.
I still see some of these people. I even see my father in the few family gatherings I attend. But they know our relationships can't be restored just like that. The few people who really wanted to be in my life are still welcome, they earned it. But the aunt who still looks at me like I'm some lunatic in need of being locked up because I chose to leave the religion doesn't get more than a "Hi". She still asks about my life but I just walk away. I have no respect for these people. Keep it formal or I will ghost your ass.
I find myself less concerned with the things that would usually stress me when I limited my availability to the few people I can tolerate. I have a friend that I would drive hours if he asked me to, but some family members will not even get a call from me, not in a million years. I had a period where I was severely depressed but even in that period I refused their help. I didn't want to own anyone anything. I pulled myself up alone because I didn't want them to come uninvited back to my life once I sorted my shit, which I did.
Protect yourself at all costs. Being in a healthy mentality and free of self doubt is far superior to me than anything anyone would offer.
just my 2 cents
Same as with any type. It is just a myriad of things, nothing special. My own inner reactions and the kind of elements the person seem to be using consciously. There are so many ways that our minds react to the types and how we recoqnise them. The types are a natural phenomenon and I think I've learned to see them automatically, just as we all can tell what sex someone is without much intellectual work.What are the factors that you consider when determining or thinking that someone is your dual?
Then with duality there is the possibility of developing quite fast a really pleasant connection, where things seem to happen by itself and you enjoy the company in a way that's hard to put into words. But mostly I don't use this for typing, although it has happened with some duals I have spent more time with.