What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I am a first year student studying pharmacy. I came to do that because I have an interest in the way our bodies work. I’ve always been fascinated by biology. If you ask me why I haven’t gone into medicine or a hot research field for biology like molecular biology or genetics though, it was because the material we studied in high school got boring to me. It wasn’t challenging anymore. Chemistry, while it seems a bit more boring at first glance, is actually a lot more engaging and challenging to study than biology, at least in my case. I also want to do a job which in some way engages me with people. I can get that with a pharmacy degree in various ways, and the first thing people think of is working in the drugstore but I’m actually aiming for a place in the production chain, delegating work, supervising the process and such. In comparison, with a chemistry degree I’d have to do solitary research work - I’m not too fond of that idea.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I talk to people, for the most part. My favorite hobby can probably be encompassed by simply saying ‘people’. Whether that’s my friends in real life or online, I spend a chunk of my time just talking to them. You could even fit socionics under that umbrella, too, because in large part I am interested in learning how people work, in order to navigate the world better. I also browse the internet for things related to my other current interests, which vary, but tend to do with media like books and film (and more rarely TV shows - I don’t have much patience for those). A creative hobby of mine is writing. For the most part, I don’t write anything cohesive, instead things that have been inspired by other works or my own emotions (although I do this very rarely - more often than not, I’m way too consumed by said emotions to actually put them to words that are not incoherent caps-lock screams). I consume media for both escapist and artistic purposes. I write because I want to write a book one day and have people tell me how good it is.
What are your values, and why?
I value honesty and integrity, standing up for what you believe in, mutual respect, loyalty, love, helping ones in need, knowledge and clarity, the general group of values that fall under ‘humanitarian’.
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I have a strained relationship with my mother, and an alright relationship with my father, but with the latter it’s very surface-level. I feel uncomfortable sharing my emotions with either of them, because every time I’ve tried to express those I’ve been met with what I perceived as either mocking or them completely missing the point. The atmosphere in our household is strained because we all deal with our anger, often misplaced, by screaming at each other. This can happen upwards of 3x a day, sometimes. I do appreciate their support and their love, which they show in their own way, but I don’t really know what to do with it because many other things are simply wrong. I have a sister, who’s 15, and she really gets on my nerves. She disregards basic chores around the house which then fall onto me, and it’s not like I’m not going to do them, but the principle of it bothers me - it’s her work, and she should do it. I make her do it more often than not, but it’s always met with anger and, once again, more yelling etc. I love my family. I care for their wellbeing greatly, and I help them whenever I can. I wouldn’t say I like them, though.
As for my friends, I am not close enough with any of them. I’d like to be closer, but I feel like I’m not surrounded by the right people. That’s not to say that I don’t love the friends that I have, it’s just that they seem resistant to hanging out one on one, not just with me but with other people in general. Or rather, there aren’t enough opportunities to hang out one on one. My closest friend, however, I do hang out with one on one more often than the others. My relationship with her could be described as mutual support of each other’s respective niche interests. She’s a hardcore introvert and doesn’t go out too often, so I have to pester her to make her take a walk with me and tell me what’s up. It helps that we go to the same university though and share some classes. In terms of the group of people I loosely call friends, I see them quite regularly because we go out on the weekends. They’re fun to hang out with. We usually go in cafes, bars, or at someone’s place, listen to music and discuss things.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
What I look for in people is someone I could share my life with. I want to make lasting relationships that are based on support and love, and shared experiences. The prerequisites to befriend someone 1) have shared interests/shared space/shared activities, and an alignment of our values. Immensely important for me is to have things in common. If we don't, I can't really relate to the things they're going through, what they're sharing with me, and am at a loss as to how to help them or be a productive, helpful addition to their life (and they to mine, too). I also live in quite a bigoted, and frankly stupid country, and I want to distance myself as much as possible from such people because I cannot be myself around them. When I meet someone, I observe what they value and what they like, and see how that can fit into my life. This goes for romance too. I want someone that will help me become a better version of myself. Someone I can be myself with, without judgment, or having to adapt in order to make the interactions go more smoothly. Of course, being attracted to them is also a very big factor in terms of romance.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I had an argument with my father about the tone I was using: I tend to say things in a deadpan manner when I’m angry, and in this case I wasn’t even angry with him, but I guess he took it that way. Another mini-conflict I had was with my friend over some technicality about the equipment we were using. I become snappy and forceful when I want to prove a point. These are the most common ones, probably, but they’re usually very easily solved when we arrive to a conclusion. I either admit I was wrong and move on or end up feeling satisfied that I was right.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
I’m great at observation and being in the moment, adapting and solving problems on the go, and also pointing out potholes so my airy friends don’t fall into them. This happens way more often than what one would expect.
I’m great at sticking with what I’ve promised myself I would do. I can easily make myself do whatever’s needed with the force of my will. People like that I’m reliable and that I adhere to honesty and integrity. They pick me as the leader of group projects because I mobilise and get things done immediately and don't hesitate or dally. I like these things about myself too.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I am reckless with my words, especially when angry. I am sensitive, prone to being defensive and lashing out when feeling attacked by something, especially in debate when I feel like I'm losing. Criticism I often face is that I am sometimes too uncaring of the way my tone affects the mood or the situation. It's not that I am unaware of it - quite so; I just choose not to give importance to mood when I am feeling like shit. I dislike that I am very snappy as this causes unnecessary rifts in my relationships that I have to bridge later. I also dislike the fact that I seem to be one-upped constantly in logic based arguments.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I am good at organising myself and dealing with my schoolwork. I actually haven't had much life experience, all things considered, so I don't really know. I presume I'd be fairly good at working because I'm diligent but also adaptable. I'm good at taking care of myself physically, but only the essentials, as I don't really care about the rest. In general I'd say I'm good at just continuing life day to day despite whatever shit may happen (not that much has, if we exclude the emotional front). I don't really know what I need help with. Introspection, maybe? I tend to need an external outlet for it which is, more often than not, talking it out with some other person. And it really helps when that person knows how to ask the right questions.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I dislike fussing over details. I dislike when things are happening way too slowly - I dislike waiting. I also dislike doing things in advance, apparently… More than others, I enjoy being out and about. I need to get out of the house at least once a day. Otherwise I get depressed. I enjoy being in control of the situation.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
I can't really see into the future. I mentioned earlier that I want to have a job in a pharmaceutical company, but that's about it. The timeline is fuzzy and I just consider it a straight line until the end of uni at which point whatever happens, happens. I still have a long way to go and I don't see a point in trying to forecast or rush the way things are at the moment. As for my goals for the future, beyond having a good job that will enable me financial security and also fulfill my need to work, I want to find love, but this is still a big question mark for me because I’m very young. I don’t feel mature enough to understand myself, what I need and what will work out for me in my life. Maybe I will in some ten years.
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
I'd continue working. I'd probably give the money away to people who are less well off than me, after setting aside a chunk for myself to splurge on and splurge on my friends. As for why I'd continue working, I feel like if I just did nothing all day I'd end up severely depressed. I need to feel productive and useful, and lazing around the house and occasionally cleaning it does not count.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
When people ramble about an interest of theirs. I suppose some find this annoying when it isn't someone they're already close to, but I don't mind it even if it's a stranger. Part of it is because you can learn a lot about people that way. The other part is because that gives me the right to ramble on and on myself - and they have to listen. Recently brought to my attention is that I like socially awkward people and introverts. I think it’s cute, and they tend to handle my sometimes erratic behavior well.
As for what annoys me… People being unnecessarily theatrical. Tardiness. I mean, if it's someone close to me I'll tolerate it to an extent, but… People going back on their word and then smiling apologetically like ha-ha-woopsie. At least own up to it. Anyway, another thing that gets on my nerves extremely is when I'm trying to explain something to someone and they're not getting it. I also dislike when people hog attention while not being in any way productive about it - this circles back to being theatrical for no reason. You cannot entertain without having a script, no matter how theatrical you may be.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
Nothing really. Keeping it clean. My room is pink and purple because that was my color choice when I was 7. I still really like it. I do end up decorating it with odd trinkets like a corkboard with tickets from concerts and movies, but that's more for sentimental than decorational value. I also have a grim reaper and a plastic bat (the animal) hanging on my window, and the windows are drawn on with glass paints from when I was 7-12. It creates a neat little contrast. The grim reaper's name is Jake. I do like my room looking lived in, though. I leave papers on my desk because I hate it looking barren. Oh, there's also two quotes about courage I handwrote and stuck on the wall.
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
I don't think there has been a period I've felt fulfilled in my life so far. I think that I need to start working in order to feel productive about society, and also find love, and that's when I'll feel more fulfilled. As for moments: when I was hiking in the middle of January and it was very cold and very beautiful; when I was kayaking in May and the sun hit the water in just the right way and I felt powerful; when I'm with my friends, and we're laughing about something really hard.
How do you behave around strangers?
Usually don't acknowledge them, I listen to music, unless I need something from them. If I need them to move I nudge them gently aside. I'm not shy around them. I sometimes get a weird satisfaction from provoking reactions with my clothes or behavior.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Conflict is natural and inevitable, and if done right, very productive. We can learn a lot about people when we disagree with them. If someone insults me, I usually just scoff and move on with my life. If someone verbally attacks me and talks shit about my actions or my friends, I fight back. If I don't, that would be a show of weakness, and an invitation for more attacks, which is unacceptable. I don't look for fights or instigate them in the slightest, though. On my end, they happen as a response to my environment. If everyone respected me, my people and my space, there would be no conflict. Alas, that's not reality.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
The cause is usually a lack of external stimulation. Usually if I'm on break and my friends are all gone on vacation somewhere, I have nothing to do and no one to see which makes me start doing faulty introspection. I get bored, lethargic and lose my zest. I get even snappier and don't want anyone to come near me and meddle with my feelings and my things. Advice I react to with great defensiveness, even if I ask for it. Luckily, there's an easy way to get out of this. Exercise and going out.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Well, I’d be interested in starting one if I actually had an idea for it. I don’t have one yet so I can’t really tell you. I’m not interested in starting a business that would fail because of a subpar idea. I’d probably delegate tasks and oversee the general process, meet potential partners, etc. and hire deltas to do the tedious money aspects for me
It would help if I had someone to help me with future planning as well. As for what kind, probably something I have a lot of knowledge about. That would be pharmacy (if we’re looking at the future).
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I like looking good. I don’t dress for comfort. My stylistic choices are either for utility or looking hot. It’s perfect when I can mix the two. So, my favorite look for myself is sneakers with baggy/cargo pants and tight shirts. I like doing my makeup to play with the eyeshadow colors (more rarely) and accentuate my features/accessorize with lipstick (more often), but most often I just don’t wear any at all. Occasionally I like dressing up in skirts or dresses for going out, but I find them impractical more often than not.
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
As a child I was somewhat serious and cautious, but not extremely. I learned to read at an early age and was obsessed with fantasy books. When I was with my family usually I had an impassive expression on my face, and with my friends always grinning. No in between.
I am still that way, for the most part. I am very different in terms of facial expressions when I am alone vs when I am with my friends. Obviously everyone is, but I feel like I err to the side of the extremes more than others.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I like kids because they’re really fun. I enjoy their unbridled enthusiasm and through them vicariously experience the world anew as a strange, complicated place ready to be explored. I love explaining things to them and interacting with them because their insights are often brilliant. That being said, I haven’t lived with a baby or had to take care of changing diapers and feeding etc. I feel like that aspect might get a little much sometimes, but it’s necessary.
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
I really enjoy attention. I want it, and work for it. I want everyone to listen to me when I’m speaking and consider what I’ve said as an important contribution, lol, because I believe I do have important contributions especially while working. I probably command it with my tone as well. I also enjoy being perceived as attractive by my peers (not strange older men on the street, thx). I don’t really behave dramatically in order to get attention, though. I want attention for what I contribute, not as a court jester or class clown.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I believe that everyone is obliged to stick with their responsibilities and fulfill them, both for personal development and especially in a group (while working, society in general) because if one avoids them, they hinder the whole group, not just themselves. From others I expect honesty about their capabilities and integrity. They need to be clear with what they can do and once they’ve said they’ll do something, really do it.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
Financial security as well as providing a loving, supportive emotional atmosphere that my kid would feel comfortable sharing their own emotions in. What I’ve lacked is that kind of open emotional atmosphere and it’s made me feel really hesitant to share anything with my parents, and I don’t want that to happen with my child. Financial security is extremely important as well because it adds to that safe environment a child needs to develop properly without any problems into their own person. Obviously, I’d push them in a direction of handling their own responsibilities diligently and on time, but leave space open for them to be themselves. I would not coddle.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
I consider my self-awareness as my biggest accomplishment.
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
At first, I had trouble getting close to my peers because I came from an environment that made me feel like an outcast. After a couple of weeks, though, I found a group of people to go to these science lectures with, and they’ve been my friends ever since. In general, my high school experience was alright. The highlights are probably the gigs we went to and my last year. I never really related to the general ‘public’, though, their drama and relationships and all that jazz, which is probably why not a lot of people know me. I avoided it on purpose.
What is something you regret?
Nothing. The choices I made in the past were the best I could make with the information I had at the time. Whether bad or good, they were learning experiences that will help me make more informed decisions in the future. In that vein I regret nothing.
Who do you admire, and why?
I admire my father for his practicality. He knows so many things and he can use that knowledge to solve many problems. I want to be like that too. I also admire people who are sure of themselves, know what they want and how to get it. It’s a pleasure to observe and work with them. I also admire people who are great listeners. It takes special skill for that.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
My exams have been on my mind, but I wasn’t too worried because I am sure of my capabilities. Another thing that was on my mind was whether or not I am actually socially capable or not. I feel like I haven’t been meeting enough people in uni, and I really want to. But I’ve been since reassured of those capabilities
What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
I don’t believe in the creation of the world by a deity like God in Christianity etc. I am spiritual, though, because I believe there is much more to the world than we can see, and I believe in an energy that connects every living thing to each other. I believe in cosmic balance. I believe in signs the universe sends us. In that vein I also like tarot. If I had to box myself in, I guess I’d fit under pantheist.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I dislike discussing it. Seems like just a game to make money and gain fame and misplaced power. I do discuss decisions that strike me as morally unjust. In my country, though, the situation is so stupid that the question isn’t which ideology you subscribe to, rather which party will embezzle less money from the people.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
An environment where things get done and there’s no useless interpersonal drama.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
My top were always the sciences because it allowed me to understand how the world works. In the later years of high school I started loving P.E. and art because they were both really fun. I got very competitive in volleyball which was great fun, and art history is fascinating.
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
That they need to compete with each other about who has more. If you compete about something, at least compete based on your own competence and your accomplishments, not how many cars you have. Your personality and what you do speaks a lot more about you than how much money you have. In that vein, people don’t value love and emotional openness enough. There’s too much focus on image instead of understanding and supporting each other.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
A lake town in my country. I went with my friends. We went to the beach, swam, listened to a lot of music and sang, went to bars. It was generally chill fun. I liked it because it allowed me independence from my parents, even if just for a week, and also because I really enjoy swimming and being in the water; it’s exhilarating.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
Three years ago I went on a youth exchange. I met many people from many different countries that were all older than me and it was an amazing experience that taught me a lot about life and the various situations people can find themselves in and the perspectives they have. That was the first moment I realized my own social power, and my previous confidence, which had been ruined when I was 12-16, was regained. I felt like I could talk to everyone there without shielding any part of myself and everyone liked me a whole lot. It changed something in me, and when I came back home my relationships with literally everyone improved.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I see them as individuals. They each have their own unique traits and preferences that either fit with me or don’t. A prevalent social problem is the over focusing on image and materialism and not focusing enough on love, mutual understanding, and also knowledge. Young people don’t value learning so much because the internet has everything at our fingertips. But studying is important for developing the brain, and you also can’t have productive and interesting conversations with someone who has to look up every small thing you mention that’s supposed to be common knowledge.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I speak up and ask for it. If I feel I’ve been unjustly looked over or not compensated enough, I try to push people to give me what I want regardless, but I won’t do it if what I want will hurt them or cause them too much effort to do. I always try to be self sufficient in that regard.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
I am very comfortable with taking leadership roles when it comes to working. I believe I have a great grasp on what’s needed in each particular situation and can adapt my approach easily. I also take initiative very often so the leadership role falls to me easily. In terms of social leadership, I don’t really care for that all too much because my ESE friend is always around to take the reins. But if I have to, I’ll initiate and organise meetups when I haven’t seen friends for a while.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
Very often. It’s more like I get frustrated rather than angry when people misunderstand me, don’t respect my space, don’t listen to me, comment on my tone and get offended by it when I wasn’t really attacking them at all, when they disregard my ideas. When people say that because I’m young, my opinion is worth less.
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
I do joke around, but it’s surface level things. The subjects of my jokes are usually not people because I feel like that’s sensitive territory, it’s usually observational humor about what’s currently happening around me or in general. When I’m serious though, I’m really serious. And any attempts to joke with me when I’m in that mood will be met with disregard or me taking everything literally on purpose.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
Love and making the world we live in a better place through our deeds, our work and relationships.
Do you like surprises?
I like surprises when they’re good for me, like gifts, surprise parties etc. When I was on that youth exchange I mentioned, it was actually my birthday, and they threw me a surprise party. It was awesome. I don’t like negative surprises, obviously, like losing my money or whatever, lol.