Originally Posted by
COOL AND MANLY
Let me just say that I appreciate your honesty. Huge respect.
You know who you remind me of? My dad. The guy was literally my hero growing up. Most hardworking person I ever known. He was not very affectionate, but he was always present and responsible. He was a great father overall, but he was a control freak and had a temper. The thing is, the guy never changed, never improved his relationships with us, as his kids. He couldn't bring himself to open up. He was just an authority figure. That meant that I lived my whole life unable to joke with my dad, relax or get to really know him. When I got into college, I expected more freedom to make my own decisions. I have always had a stable relationship with him. But he just couldn't let go, and things went downhill from there between us. I was old enough to know what is best for me, and I was not going to let him tell me what to do. I respect the guy, but I also had a mind of my own from a very young age. This is something he never noticed in me, because I have always been mindful of his rules and compliant, and he never bothered to really know what I'm like.
He later divorced my mom after 25 years of marriage, in a fit of anger, over something she had no control of. My little brother wrecked his car. He ended up hitting my mom because she wasn't as upset about it, and they had an argument. Of course she went to the police, but she still wanted to stay with him. They got divorced anyway in a month. I think he just felt that he is losing control, and in all honesty their relationship was not healthy at the time. My dad married twice after that, has other children now (albeit still very young), and he pretty much cut off all his relationships with his kids — at least the ones who wanted to keep in touch with him, I didn't.
He invested in the stock market for a while, got out before 2008, somehow. Made a good amount of money. He had at least 5 failed businesses over the years. These are the ones I know of. He had a business with a co-worker of his, and ended up leaving it to his friend while the business was still running, because they couldn't agree on certain stuff. My family is very well off, so my dad, uncles, his nephews and some distant relatives tried to open a huge family business in our hometown. They couldn't agree on anything. My dad wanted to call all the shots. Everyone else was offended because they are putting just as much in the business. My dad is 60+ now. He just retired from his government job. He still has a few small business. He recently approached my brothers, who are in their late twenties now, to come and support his new business. I was consulted by one of my brothers, and I told him what I always tell him. My dad cannot compromise to save his life. He doesn't trust anyone but himself. He has a brilliant mind, but he cannot work with others as equals. I wished them luck because my brother sounded like he wanted to do it regardless of what I said.
I hope my dad tries really hard to get closer to my brothers now that he is retired, and it's not just about business, because he is honestly very lonely. When you are that old, you don't want to be estranged from your own family, especially your older kids who want to be supportive. He doesn't have any friends. He doesn't go out. His brothers are just as old as he is, and they are all busy with their own families. To me, this is a very late stage of ones life to start having a close relationship with his own kids. He is a grandfather already. I personally have given up on having any relationship with him unless he makes amends. I don't want a business partner, I want a father. We are both very cold though, so I don't see that happening.
Even though my dad never smoked or did drugs, still goes to the gym and have always been on a healthy diet, he has high blood pressure, diabetes, had a few heart attacks and has not been in the best shape in recent years. Believe me, you don't want to be in that position. Take care of yourself. That temper of yours will affect your health. It will eat you up. You need to let go. You need to relax. For your own sake. Don't take things or people for granted. People will forgive you so many times and you won't even have to ask, but very few will stay with you if don't try to be a better person.
I did type my dad LIE, in case you were wondering. He has always been very active and cannot sit at home doing nothing for a long time. He doesn't need the extra money. He retired twice now, but simply can't relax. Si PoLR? The first time after retirement he got his masters degree, was in his late 40s at the time, and went back to work in a more prestigious and better paying position. To be fair, he was forced out of his position as he sued the company for something he thought they owed him (apparently they didn't since he lost), he didn't want to retire that early. After the second and final retirement, at 60 years old, he opened another business. I could still see him working through old age.