Vote for the biggest lobster!
Jordan Peterson
David Foster Wallace
Other (please comment below)
Vote for the biggest lobster!
David Foster Wallace I guess, but I'm disappointed that Gérard de Nerval wasn't in the poll.
Nerval had a pet lobster, which he walked at the end of a blue silk ribbon in the Palais-Royal in Paris. According to Théophile Gautier, Nerval said:
Why should a lobster be any more ridiculous than a dog? ...or a cat, or a gazelle, or a lion, or any other animal that one chooses to take for a walk? I have a liking for lobsters. They are peaceful, serious creatures. They know the secrets of the sea, they don't bark, and they don't gnaw upon one's monadic privacy like dogs do. And Goethe had an aversion to dogs, and he wasn't mad.
BIG
MEATY
CLAWS
I don't think it matters who has the bigger lobster. Kermit's lobsters are able to parasitically burrow into people's brains and turn them into his minions for achieving world domination.
Let's be honest: lobster size does matter.
Donald J Trump.
I used to want to try to walk a tarantula. My parents were not enthused and forbid me from having any non-mammal pets. Thanks for reminding me that walking a tarantula is a great idea even if people are scared.
I have no idea how a lobster would survive long on land even if you got it to comply.
Can lobsters survive out of water?
"Lobster out of water" sounds like the title for something indeterminate that hasn't been made.