it's cool psychologically when people share shit. yes, that's a lot for a dinner divulgement, and this person is only here for friendship, but....cool opportunity to connectI took an ESI (BD-her initials for my records) to The Black Pearl*, one of the nicest restaurants in town. The reservation happened to be the day before Valentines Day, which historically has been a very bad day for me in past years. Not just sequential disasters with women, but also in business dealings. The historical record has been two major, major breakups, some very bad days with women, and one house closing which has been a financial loss. The day is not my lucky day.
This is our fourth or fifth date and she said once again that she only wants to be friends. She said that she can’t see herself ever being in a close relationship again, after her two previous husbands and some very crappy boyfriends. She said she was only on Match.com because her shrink told her she needed to get out of the house and meet new people. I seem to be getting nowhere with her, but I’m discovering a lot because she’s the first ESI I’ve ever been on “formal” dates with.
For example, when I compare her to my two LSI girlfriends, with the ESI, I’ve managed to shake her hand. With the LSI’s, we were having hot sex at this point.
Someone wrote that Mirage relationships (LIE-LSI) are relationships of increasing relaxation, and I completely agree with this, because I’ve been expecting this to happen with the ESI, as it did with the LSIs, and it is not happening. I feel comfortable around the ESI, but not relaxed. It’s more like I feel like I should be doing better in my life than I am.
The ESI ordered white wine and I ordered black coffee and we both had the clam chowder and the trout. As we were eating, I was looking around. The theme was black and dark, with ghostly sails rotating over our heads and the only illumination coming from behind the wall of bottles over the bar. The effect was like being on a ghost ship in the dead of night, adrift off the coast with the lights of a city burning on the coast.
The chowder was average, but the trout was excellent. As we ate, the ESI said
”My father choked to death on food.”
I thought, “???????”
”He only halfway swallowed. His eyes got really big and he looked scared. I called for help but my brother ran out of the room. I guess he’d never seen a person die before.”
So, another typical Valentines Day for me.