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Thread: ESI and competing....

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    Tommy's Avatar
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    Default ESI and competing....

    The ESI (all females) I've met in person and have a close relation with seem to have a competitive streak that sooner or later appears in relations with other sensors in all areas (business, colleagues, family, even cooking skills etc), some kind of attitude of getting ahead through subtly tarnishing others. The thing is that they seem to consider situations and see others as competitors often. This happens in a subtle way. Not overly aggressive or anything.

    Is it Gamma or just ESI?
    What are your experiences with it?
    Last edited by Tommy; 12-27-2019 at 04:36 PM.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    The ESI (all females) I've met in person and have a close relation with seem to have a competitive streak that sooner or later appears in relations with other sensors in all areas (business, collegues, family, even cooking skills etc), some kind of attitude of getting ahead through subtly tarnishing others. The thing is that they seem to consider situations and see others as competitors often. This happens in a subtle way. Not overly aggressive or anything.

    Is it Gamma or just ESI?
    What are your experiences with it?
    This seems to me like every woman ever. Except SLI's, of course. Lol.

    Men will compete with each other and might get angry or violent, but at the end of the day, they will walk away and leave the basic "you" intact. When women compete, it's total war to erase the bloodline.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 12-27-2019 at 04:32 PM.

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    Tommy's Avatar
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    No Adam. I think its some kind of mentality or interpretation of reality, mb its more prone to happen or to be accepted in some quadras than others. I get distant and distrustful of ppl like that, I feel they are not being honest even if acting polite on the outside.

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    Yup lol I feel like this is one the primary purposes of the negativist ESI, which according to Strat, is “to reveal [Fi] all the existing negative ethical qualities and tendencies and to fight [Se] for their removal, exclusion, and elimination, to the point of their complete eradication.” This can get dicey because ESIs use their own subjective values as a measuring stick by which to weigh others, which might very well contradict what someone else believes is the “right” belief or action, thereby potentially giving the ESI a reputation for “subtly tarnishing others” in a way that might seem malicious or mean spirited, whereas from the ESI’s perspective, they’re just carrying out an almost obligatory “public service announcement,” especially when it comes to protecting and preserving their inner circle from those who might do them harm, in the ESI's estimation.

    I’ve always had many Fi PoLR types as close friends and associates and all of my ESI exes systematically went about trying to remove them from my life >”ILE has a filthy mouth. He’s rubbing off on you.” “You’re going out with SLE tonight? *cold shoulder* “You’re going out with ILE tonight? *seduces me to stay in*” “You’re going out with SLE tonight? *wounded puppy*” “SLE is too flirtacious. I don’t trust him.” “You’re going out with ILE tonight? Let’s go some place else instead.” Se was always used to pressure me, whether that be via seduction and a wet whisper on the ear, the withdrawal of their presence/energy, a spot of righteous indignation/anger, or literally grabbing me by the hand and getting in my space in order to take command of my attention.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    No Adam. I think its some kind of mentality or interpretation of reality, mb its more prone to happen or to be accepted in some quadras than others. I get distant and distrustful of ppl like that, I feel they are not being honest even if acting polite on the outside.
    You don't think this is a valued Si vs valued Se problem?

    Si-doms compete by looking great. That can't be easy for other women to compete with.

    My SLI-Te ex was 5'8" and weighed about 115 lbs. She could wear anything and it would look good, but she added good taste to the mix.
    She had this white trenchcoat that looked like it came off a noir actress of the 30's. I don't think one woman in a hundred could wear it well, to say nothing of fitting into it. She was at a University conference and someone stole it from a coat rack.

    This always puzzled me. Like, who would do their clothes shopping at an academic conference? But I now realize that it wasn't stolen to make the thief look better; it was stolen to make my ex-wife look worse.

    Everyone competes.

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy View Post
    No Adam. I think its some kind of mentality or interpretation of reality, mb its more prone to happen or to be accepted in some quadras than others. I get distant and distrustful of ppl like that, I feel they are not being honest even if acting polite on the outside.
    Yeah, I haven't noticed this in myself or other ESIs I've typed, so I just chalked it up to some interpretation thing and wrote it off, but figured I'd poke my head in lol. Coming across as a "winner" of sorts, I've noticed, sure, but at the expense of others, no. It seems par for the course that I'd be on the defense lol, but I'm not bothered, just haven't noticed. My own interpretation though.

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    Haikus
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    I'm not ESI and I can't recall anything that comes to mind.

    All I can say is that I can be some-what competitive in the right circumstance and its usually from a place of internal jealousy and needing that validation for my efforts. I tend toward negativity towards other people, but life has beat into me the lesson of not voicing my negative opinions, the whole nothing good to say don;t say anything. I'm just to aware of where that game leads to and I reject other people who try and play it. Its a subtle form of manipulation, conscious or otherwise, and I see the power play to apparently. If I don't appreciate it in other people, than I also will work towards being better at it myself.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    ESIs don't seem to be as competitive as say EXEs. They have been known to make attempts to alter the behaviour of others or prove themselves right, and if this means trying to prove others wrong or inferior, then it can get somewhat competitive. However for them, it doesn't seem to be about being top-dog because they tend to be somewhat uncomfortable in the spotlight - it's usually more about them feeling that they hold the moral high ground even though they may not in reality. They do seem to prefer the subtle approach; they certainly don't seem to warm up to the directness that some SLIs exhibit.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Tommy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    ESIs don't seem to be as competitive as say EXEs. They have been known to make attempts to alter the behaviour of others or prove themselves right, and if this means trying to prove others wrong or inferior, then it can get somewhat competitive. However for them, it doesn't seem to be about being top-dog because they tend to be somewhat uncomfortable in the spotlight - it's usually more about them feeling that they hold the moral high ground even though they may not in reality. They do seem to prefer the subtle approach; they certainly don't seem to warm up to the directness that some SLIs exhibit.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    I never said they tried to be the top-dog, that was your own interpretation but thanks for the rest of the explanation. That was what I was referring to in op. And I'm really sorry that your relationship with your SLI ex boyfriend didn't work out and that he was harsh on you.

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    Maybe you´re reading too much into it; some bit of competition while cooking or doing something at work can just be tongue in cheek?

    Even though I have lost a ESI-Se male friend because he royally screwed me during a cycling competition. I waited for him during 3 climbs, but at the fourth climb, when i showed a bit of tiredness, he accelerated. But he had always been envious of my "skills", I saw it coming. I forgave him, but if I could screw him again, I´d royally would, even though 12 years have passed.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    This seems to me like every woman ever. Except SLI's, of course. Lol.

    Men will compete with each other and might get angry or violent, but at the end of the day, they will walk away and leave the basic "you" intact. When women compete, it's total war to erase the bloodline.
    I just see this as a cultural myth with some misogyny or ignorance at its base.
    ENTj-Ni sx/so

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