Every once in a while I seem to fall into depression. These bouts are often triggered by feelings that my life is going nowhere, or by periods when I don't have enough contact with the people I care about.
This recent "social distancing" thing, along with the "do not leave the house, work from home" rule, has plunged me into depression. I haven't been able to motivate myself to work for about a week now. I want to get in my car and drive to an airport and take a plane to some place where no one will ever find me. Fuck the world. You guys can have all my shit. Just don't try to find me.
I was looking around for another life to escape to because mine sucks and I decided to call a guy I know to ask him how his side-hustle business, his little escape from reality, is working out,
and I had to text an old ESI buddy of mine to get the guy's phone number.
Me: Do you have xxx yyy's phone number? I want to ask him how his side business is going.
ESI: No I don't. Maybe ask bbb or ccc? I'm on my ass for weeks. You?
Me: Why are you on your ass? Work injuries or just virus hiding?
ESI: Virus hiding. We're shut down.
Me: You still getting paid?
ESI: Unemployment. I asked for vacation time but got rudely put down.
-Long text exchange about status of family members, then how my company has tons of work but I can't bring myself to care, then a discussion about taking walks-
ESI: Keep your distance from others. Wear a mask if you have one.
Me: I think I see about one person a mile.
ESI: So you are in town now?
Me: For the past three weeks. I'm going nuts.
ESI: Better do some of that work.
Me: Yeah. But first, a walk.
ESI: OK, start tomorrow.
Me. Fuck work. I don't do well in isolation.
ESI: No no no we talked about this young man. Start working tomorrow. Not to mention your language.
Me: Customer reports are due in the morning. I have to start tonight.
ESI: Well......... Time to start.
Me: Yeah. Ok, good talking with you.
So I went out for a three mile walk and went to bed because I felt like shit. And I woke up feeling like working again.
Maybe it was the walk, maybe it was the convo. But if it was only the walk, even that wouldn't have happened if the ESI hadn't motivated me to get up and do something.