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Thread: ESI/LIE Conversations

  1. #281
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    I think that design is split in the ESI-LIE Duality between the LIE being the architect and structural engineer, and the ESI being the one who handles surface appearances.

    I once asked a female ESI friend to give me her thoughts on house layout, because I thought she'd be good at aesthetics and the "feel" that certain layouts give to a house. I assumed this to be the case because my SLI ex had a lot of really perceptive thoughts on ergometric home design.
    The ESI sat down and drew some floor layouts but she was hating every second of it. I asked her what the problem was, and she said "This is really out of my wheelhouse."

    With a second ESI, we were driving through a nice neighborhood and she pointed to a house which had walls of mixed redwood and gray stone and said "That's nice!" It did look good, on the surface, but I wondered what the floor layout would be like. She seems to notice only what can be seen on the surface.

    Another time, the second ESI showed me a picture frame that her cleaning lady had knocked off the wall and asked me if I could repair it. It had been assembled with contact cement and of course it dried out and was fragile after a few years. I said, "Lets go to the hardware store and get some epoxy."
    When we got to the store and found the epoxy, she then asked if I could fix the hole in the wall that the hanging nail left when the picture fell. I said, "Sure. They make spackle for that, and if you have the original wall paint, I'll spackle the hole and you can paint it when it dries."
    "What's spackle?"
    I reached for this tube of wall spackle. "It's this stuff," I said.
    "That's four dollars. I was just going to use toothpaste to fill the hole."
    "Toothpaste?"
    "Yes. I have some, and it doesn't cost four dollars."
    "No. Just no. Here's four dollars. Buy the spackle."

    LIE = Bones.
    ESI = Skin.

  2. #282
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    @Adam Strange do you pay to be able to have conversations, does she pay, is it 50/50 because it seem like there is a lot of table talk.
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  3. #283
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    Quote Originally Posted by PunkSailor View Post
    @Adam Strange do you pay to be able to have conversations, does she pay, is it 50/50 because it seem like there is a lot of table talk.
    @PunkSailor, When I ask a person out to eat, I pay. If they ask me out to eat, they pay. That’s my usual rule, but it can vary in individual cases.

    In the case of my ex-wife, our money was pooled, so whoever had cash or easier access to their credit card paid.
    With my EII secretary, we alternate paying.
    In the case of the ESI-Fi that I met on Match, since I ask her out as a rule, and because her husband took their life savings and left her with almost nothing, I usually pay.
    With the ESI-Se whom I’ve hired to redecorate my house, we go Dutch.

    I had an LSI GF after college but we never went out to eat. We were too poor and were just living together and having sex and buying the minimum. After we broke up, she immediately found a new BF who, in my opinion, was a pretty useless human being. I heard that she was making the payments on his truck and that just amazed me. I mean, who does that?
    That relationship didn’t last long.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-06-2021 at 11:06 AM.

  4. #284
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    I took an ESI to an Alpha restaurant today. I wanted to show her that each of the Quadras has its own characteristic style.

    We walked in and every single person in there looked like an Alpha, except one of the waitresses, who looked Ne Delta. We ordered our food and were walking out to the patio to wait while it was prepared and she said “Are they all Alphas?”

    I looked around and said “Yes.”

    ”What about that guy, with glasses?”

    I looked closely at a guy who had had his back to me when we were ordering. He was sitting with an Alpha SF, but now that I was near the door, I could see his face. He was LIE and was looking slightly paralyzed.

    ”That guy is me,” I said. “My type. How did you spot him?”

    ”He was the best looking guy in there.”

    We sat down at a table outside and waited for our food.

    “You know,” I said, “he was with his Conflictor. Conflictors can look like Duals sometimes.” The ESI was looking kind of SEI to me at that moment. She does that sometimes.
    ”I sometimes think of walking up to Conflictors and saying “No! You guys are making a huge mistake!” But of course, you can’t do that in real life.”

    The LIE-SEI couple walked out of the restaurant at that moment. They were walking apart, but were still lightly holding hands.

    The ESI said, “I think they are brother and sister.”

    I watched them get into opposite sides of his car.
    ”That happens sometimes.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I took an ESI to an Alpha restaurant today. I wanted to show her that each of the Quadras has its own characteristic style.

    We walked in and every single person in there looked like an Alpha, except one of the waitresses, who looked Ne Delta. We ordered our food and were walking out to the patio to wait while it was prepared and she said “Are they all Alphas?”

    I looked around and said “Yes.”

    ”What about that guy, with glasses?”

    I looked closely at a guy who had had his back to me when we were ordering. He was sitting with an Alpha SF, but now that I was near the door, I could see his face. He was LIE and was looking slightly paralyzed.

    ”That guy is me,” I said. “My type. How did you spot him?”

    ”He was the best looking guy in there.”

    We sat down at a table outside and waited for our food.

    “You know,” I said, “he was with his Conflictor. Conflictors can look like Duals sometimes.” The ESI was looking kind of SEI to me at that moment. She does that sometimes.
    ”I sometimes think of walking up to Conflictors and saying “No! You guys are making a huge mistake!” But of course, you can’t do that in real life.”

    The LIE-SEI couple walked out of the restaurant at that moment. They were walking apart, but were still lightly holding hands.

    The ESI said, “I think they are brother and sister.”

    I watched them get into opposite sides of his car.
    ”That happens sometimes.”
    The way you hedge your options open with all these different ESIs to me comes off as un-gamma like. Its like you cycle through a new one every week!

  6. #286
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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    The way you hedge your options open with all these different ESIs to me comes off as un-gamma like. Its like you cycle through a new one every week!
    I only know three ESI females well. One is a lesbian artist ESI-Se, a second is an ESI-Se who flirts but won’t go out with me again (she said her previous BFs made her feel ashamed of herself), and the third is a married RN ESI-Fi who has had two bad marriages and doesn’t trust her ability to choose men well. And I do cycle through them on a weekly basis.

    They are all different but similar at the core. Like a single person who wears different outfits. I prefer the ESI-Ses for work and the ESI-Fis for play and relaxation. Exactly as the theory says.

    And @timber, I AM keeping my options open. It’s not as if I’m a twenty-two year old girl who falls in love with the first guy who consistently gives her orgasms. I’m being careful because I want the full deal. Also, the ESIs are not exactly rushing into anything. They make decisions based on impulsive actions which are later examined in hindsight, so they go slow in relationships when they’ve been burned a lot. And every one of these women has been burned a lot.

    Plus, there are social problems. I live near a 33 yo LIE financial advisor friend and his EII wife. Yesterday they were out walking their poodle hybrid past my house when I pulled into the driveway with the 27 yo ESI-Se artist. She has this very definite “Diana the Huntress” thing going. She looks like an elemental goddess who set extreme records in college Lacrosse, because she did.
    I called to my friend to say hello to him and his wife, and he smiled until he saw her get out of the car. The ESI-Se said hello and both the LIE and his wife turned chilly. Fucking asshole was judging us.

    I later told the ESI-Se that his wife was her Kindred. She said “She seemed very relatable.”
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-22-2021 at 12:33 PM.

  7. #287
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    Differences between an ESI-Se e6 CP and an ESI-Fi e4/e9:

    The ESI-Se e6 CP is an ex-athlete who wants to go into social work so she can fight injustice and save the world. She vibes very much like this:



    The ESI-Fi e4/e9 is an RN (Why do these women want to help people? Is it because their Duals just don't?) and she vibes very much like Bebe Rexha at the dinner party and again at 1:13.



    But at their core, they both have anxiety and over-think and they need facts. Like this:

    https://i.imgur.com/gQJPoXx.jpg

    I showed one of the ESIs the above picture and she was embarrassed, but laughed and agreed with me.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-22-2021 at 12:43 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I only know three ESI females well. One is a lesbian artist ESI-Se, a second is an ESI-Se who flirts but won’t go out with me again (she said her previous BFs made her feel ashamed of herself), and the third is a married RN ESI-Fi who has had two bad marriages and doesn’t trust her ability to choose men well. And I do cycle through them on a weekly basis.

    They are all different but similar at the core. Like a single person who wears different outfits. I prefer the ESI-Ses for work and the ESI-Fis for play and relaxation. Exactly as the theory says.

    And @timber, I AM keeping my options open. It’s not as if I’m a twenty-two year old girl who falls in love with the first guy who consistently gives her orgasms. I’m being careful because I want the full deal. Also, the ESIs are not exactly rushing into anything. They make decisions based on impulsive actions which are later examined in hindsight, so they go slow in relationships when they’ve been burned a lot. And every one of these women has been burned a lot.

    Plus, there are social problems. I live near a 33 yo LIE financial advisor friend and his EII wife. Yesterday they were out walking their poodle hybrid past my house when I pulled into the driveway with the 27 yo ESI-Se artist. She has this very definite “Diana the Huntress” thing going. She looks like an elemental goddess who set extreme records in college Lacrosse, because she did.
    I called to my friend to say hello to him and his wife, and he smiled until he saw her get out of the car. The ESI-Se said hello and both the LIE and his wife turned chilly. Fucking asshole was judging us.

    I later told the ESI-Se that his wife was her Kindred. She said “She seemed very relatable.”
    alrighty

    That guy sounds like a prick.

  9. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    alrighty

    That guy sounds like a prick.
    A couple things.

    I think he's a pretty typical LIE, based on the 25 or so LIEs that I know. He's not LIE-Te, not LIE-Ni, just LIE-0. And he actually is a prick, but he's not a really bad guy.
    The ESI-Se who went out with me once said that I talk too much. This guy doesn't talk much, so he's a more "normal" LIE than I am. Also, he's married to an EII grade school teacher, not a Dual. It shows in the fact that neither of them can work together very well, despite liking each other enough to get married. Their house is a "he does what he wants, she does what she wants, but they don't work together" project, which is very, very different from what I'm experiencing with ESIs.
    An ESI and I were moving furniture and we were getting the job done without talking at all. She said "We really do work well together. We're on the same page all the time."

    The LIE guy knows my sexual history since I've been divorced, and I think he doesn't like me hanging out with a woman who is near his wife's age. Maybe. Lol. Well, I can't do anything about his insecurities.

    Social condemnation is all about being insecure and afraid and feeling threatened just by someone's existence.

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    My LIE-Ni and ESI-Se cousins, who are brothers.

    Oh, my goodness. When the two of them were together, literally no one else could talk to them because they wouldn’t be as interested in what anyone else would have to say as they were in each other’s thoughts. Most of the time I couldn’t follow their conversations because they almost spoke in a language only they knew, where precise expressions and complete sentences weren’t necessary. Wherever they went, as long as they were together they dissolved into their own little happy world. I, an only child, grew up thinking this was what it meant to have siblings. It wasn’t until I learned they were duals that it made sense why they had such a great relationship, while other siblings would fight all the time or have rivalries.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Social condemnation is all about being insecure and afraid and feeling threatened just by someone's existence.
    Not necessarily, but I catch your drift.

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    LIE e8 overheard ESI e6 CP say to someone, "I feel really calm around him."

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    I've been reading about ESIs for at least five years to try to get a sense of what they are like, in the absence of actually having any to interact with. One of the things that I read was that the Dualized LIE should be prepared to be well fed but should expect to be asked to move the furniture once in a while.

    I'm working with an ESI-Se on redecorating my house, and the other day she said that she really wants to cook some great meals for me, and now am I ready to help her move furniture?

    You can't make this stuff up. There are only 16 people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I've been reading about ESIs for at least five years to try to get a sense of what they are like, in the absence of actually having any to interact with. One of the things that I read was that the Dualized LIE should be prepared to be well fed but should expect to be asked to move the furniture once in a while.

    I'm working with an ESI-Se on redecorating my house, and the other day she said that she really wants to cook some great meals for me, and now am I ready to help her move furniture?

    You can't make this stuff up. There are only 16 people.
    Actually, there are more. There are thousands of variation but for convenience sake, it was condensed into a 16 module. Also, you have subtypes and enneagram to account as for. An IEI-Fe Sx4 will very much differentiate than say, an IEI-Ni Sp9.
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    ESI: "I can't wait to organize all your tools. I'll get to it. Don't doubt me."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    ESI: "I can't wait to organize all your tools. I'll get to it. Don't doubt me."
    I might have failed to read the room, but are you interested in the ESI who is redecorating your house?

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    I might have failed to read the room, but are you interested in the ESI who is redecorating your house?

    Interested in her? Absolutely. I find that she and I work together incredibly well. However, she's ESI-Se and I'm LIE-Te, and so we are not perfect subtype matches. She's the Work Dual, and an ESI-Fi is the Home Dual. In other words, I'm not strongly sexually attracted to her. Besides which, she sleeps with women and is proud to call herself a lesbian.

    If she wanted to have children by me, I'd support them, but she hasn't asked me. Plus, there is a huge age difference. She's 26. I'm older than her father, whom I know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm not strongly sexually attracted to her. Besides which, she sleeps with women and is proud to call herself a lesbian.

    If she wanted to have children by me, I'd support them, but she hasn't asked me. Plus, there is a huge age difference. She's 26. I'm older than her father, whom I know.
    oh dear... i really want you to find someone bc we all need someone, but like... lol... sometimes i wonder if you will consider any ESI, and like, they are not all the same...

    like from my pov christian lady sounded quite terrible for you and it doesn't matter if she's your dual... like these other things matter (depending). i know some ppl don't need a values match, but you're operating in this Fi realm... and value matches are more of a thing there...

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    Quote Originally Posted by inumbra View Post
    oh dear... i really want you to find someone bc we all need someone, but like... lol... sometimes i wonder if you will consider any ESI, and like, they are not all the same...

    like from my pov christian lady sounded quite terrible for you and it doesn't matter if she's your dual... like these other things matter (depending). i know some ppl don't need a values match, but you're operating in this Fi realm... and value matches are more of a thing there...

    Yes, yes, yes. I'm not entirely an idiot; just mostly an idiot.

    The ESI-Se is not seriously considering me and I'm aware of the gulf between us. I am, however, enjoying her company and I appreciate her work. I think I'd like to work with her on future jobs, but she's going into social work and I really don't see myself helping strangers, so there's limited potential there.

    The Christian ESI-Fi is also not seriously considering me because she's been burned so badly by her present and past husbands and she doesn't understand the idea of Duality, and I doubt if I can explain it to her if she hasn't seen it already. To be frank, she Fi experiences Duality and interprets it as me being "harmless." Pretty low potential there, too.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-25-2021 at 09:16 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Interested in her? Absolutely. I find that she and I work together incredibly well. However, she's ESI-Se and I'm LIE-Te, and so we are not perfect subtype matches. She's the Work Dual, and an ESI-Fi is the Home Dual. In other words, I'm not strongly sexually attracted to her. Besides which, she sleeps with women and is proud to call herself a lesbian.

    If she wanted to have children by me, I'd support them, but she hasn't asked me. Plus, there is a huge age difference. She's 26. I'm older than her father, whom I know.
    Oh, my. Most ESI-Fi women possibly within your age bracket that I’ve known seem to be married already. Makes me want to do some digging.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    The Christian ESI-Fi is also not seriously considering me because she's been burned so badly by her present and past husbands and she doesn't understand the idea of Duality, and I doubt if I can explain it to her if she hasn't seen it already. To be frank, she Fi experiences Duality and interprets it as me being "harmless." Pretty low potential there, too.
    yeah, that is sad. poor thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Oh, my. Most ESI-Fi women possibly within your age bracket that I’ve known seem to be married already. Makes me want to do some digging.

    Yep. ESIs get into mediocre marriages and hold the course. If they are on the market after 40, it's usually because their husband either left them or died.

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    I'm redecorating my house and I'm using an ESI-Se to help set the taste of the place. I can do the structure, but I need help with the appearance of things, and that's what she does very well. She moves furniture around and throws stuff out if it isn't useful any more. We're not at the stage yet where we're buying. She wants everything out first.

    One thing I absolutely hate doing is paperwork. As a consequence, I have boxes and boxes of financial records sitting around, unorganized except roughly by year. The ESI wants to get rid of them, and I'm fine with that, as long as I don't need something for a future duel with the IRS. The ESI said, "I can't decide what to keep and what to throw out. Only you can do that."

    "Right," I said, despondently. I'm not looking forward to spending time sorting through old papers when I could be making new money.

    "Do I have to stand over you to get you motivated?", she asked.

    "You know," I said, poking her, "I belong to a personality forum, and there are descriptions written about the two of us together where you are in a dominatrix costume standing over me with a whip."

    She laughed. "They miss how this feels. I'm trying to help."

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    While I was sorting paperwork today (see above post), I was talking to the ESI-Se about Socionics while she was selling my old furniture on Facebook Marketplace.

    She hates to hear me talk about Socionics, because it interferes with her prejudice that every person can be any special kind of snowflake that they choose to be, and that nothing is predetermined. However, I'm kind of an asshole and I keep talking about it, although less than I used to when she first started working with me. Fortunately, she seems to forget nothing; she's a typical ESI. Lol.

    So I've told her that our Quadra is all about money and contracts, and I'm all about cold hard facts and my ability to be ethical is fairly coarse-grained, in the sense that I'm fine with making laser weapons which will destroy humanity as long as I can make a profit from them. She is wonderful in the sense that she hasn't hit me with a shovel yet. I'm helped by the fact that she can see for herself how well we get along, so I think she's sold on the idea that there are some people out there, not necessarily types, who simply don't fight. She also is able to see the strained interaction that I have with my SLI son, and wanted to know how I felt about that. I told her that I liked and respected him, but the Supervision relationship that he and I have is one of the worst ITRs and it takes work and skill to stay on the sunny side of the street.

    It also helps that I've hired other people for this project, and I know all their types and I tell her how their types will interact with both me, her, and with each other. She's beginning to see this stuff. But she's a CP e6, so she Doubts.

    Sometimes, I can see the wheels turning in her head, when she is thinking about her past GFs.

    She is a "Working" Dual with a different subtype than mine, and I've told her that I have a "Living" Dual, with the same subtype as mine. I can tell that she is intensely interested in this other subtype, and in seeing me interact with her, although she tries to hide this interest.

    Today, a woman came to pick up a shelving unit that the ESI-Se posted for sale. The woman walked in the door, then said she had to do something with her car, and bounced out again. When she was out of earshot, I told the ESI-Se that the woman was an ESI-Fi, and the ESI-Se immediately stuck like glue to watch us interact.

    The ESI-Fi came in again and I showed her the shelving unit, and she was enchanted. I said, "Do you like it? Really?"

    "Yes! My husband and I just moved here and this will be perfect for our place. Why do you ask?"

    Before I could answer, the ESI-Se said, "It belonged to his ex-wife and we're making a clean sweep." But that wasn't really the reason that I asked her if she liked it.

    I said, "My ex picked this out, and while she normally had terrific taste, I never liked this."

    "Well", said the woman. "In that case, I'll drop my offer to $20."

    I laughed. "No way. You agreed to buy it at the asking price and you never go back on a contract."

    She laughed. "You're right. I never break a contract."

    She continued, looking at the ESI-Se, "Should we put this on your credit card or do you prefer cash? Because Cash is King."

    The ESI-Se said, "The credit card works", and they completed the transaction and I loaded the shelving unit into her SUV.

    As she was getting into the car, I asked her, for the benefit of the ESI-Se, "What does your husband do?"

    The ESI-Fi hesitated for just a moment, since this question was outside what was strictly necessary for a mercantile transaction, but she decided that I was OK and answered, "He's a nuclear engineer."
    I said, "Yay, Thinkers." She looked thoughtful, smiled, and then off she went.

    I looked at the ESI-Se. She started to laugh with amazement. "You did that on purpose. To show me that she was my type. And her husband was your type."

    "Yep. Notice she said, Cash is King, she never goes back on a contract, and she's married to a nuclear engineer. Pretty much classic."

    The ESI-Se thought about this for a while. "How did you know she was my type? We look completely different."

    I said, "It was something in her face. I can see it, but I can't explain it. But with practice, you can do it, too. And you'll need to, because my type is pretty rare."
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 07-11-2021 at 02:32 AM.

  25. #305
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    I'm paying an ESI who works for me enough so she can start investing. I introduced her to my investment guy and I showed her how her money can grow if invested, minus inflation, so she's going to have to watch out for fees and taxes and she should invest carefully but she can stand some risk at this point.

    She thanked me and then said, "Do you think there will always be inflation?"

    Gak. I didn't know where to begin to answer her and as I struggled to reply, she saw that she had asked a question which made her look massively ignorant, although it's my job to walk her through this process safely.

    "Nevermind! Nevermind!", she said, waving her arms in defense. "Tomorrow! You can tell me tomorrow. Right now, we have paperwork to do."

    Disaster narrowly averted, I guess.





    Hey, in all fairness, when I asked her if I should see an ex-GF just for the sex because I was feeling horny at that moment, she didn't judge me. Or if she did, she kept it to herself and just said "No. That wouldn't be fair to her."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm paying an ESI who works for me enough so she can start investing. I introduced her to my investment guy and I showed her how her money can grow if invested, minus inflation, so she's going to have to watch out for fees and taxes and she should invest carefully but she can stand some risk at this point.

    She thanked me and then said, "Do you think there will always be inflation?"

    Gak. I didn't know where to begin to answer her and as I struggled to reply, she saw that she had asked a question which made her look massively ignorant, although it's my job to walk her through this process safely.

    "Nevermind! Nevermind!", she said, waving her arms in defense. "Tomorrow! You can tell me tomorrow. Right now, we have paperwork to do."

    Disaster narrowly averted, I guess.





    Hey, in all fairness, when I asked her if I should see an ex-GF just for the sex because I was feeling horny at that moment, she didn't judge me. Or if she did, she kept it to herself and just said "No. That wouldn't be fair to her."
    Ah, 1D Te at its finest. Sounds like something I would say.

    Just a sign the duality is functioning.

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    I've hired an ESI-Se Dual to help me redecorate my house, and we get along fantastically well, despite her being a 26 yo lesbian and me being a very hetero male who is over twice her age.

    Yesterday, I hired a 60-ish female ESE lighting expert to recommend light placements in all the rooms. The three of us went through the house, with the ESI explaining what we were trying to do and what she thinks will be right for each room.

    As she was leaving after giving her recommendations, the ESE said she was late for meeting her friends at a bowling alley, but she thought that the ESI and I would be very happy with the house in the future.

    When the ESE was gone, the ESI laughed and said "She thought we were together."

    "No. I doubt that. ...Well, maybe. We get along like a very compatible married couple."

    "She was probing to find out if you were single, to find out if the field was clear for her."

    I laughed. "That's possible. I've been talking to a lot of women who are older and are on dating sites, and the number of men who are my age, available, active, and not destitute is very small."

    For some reason, the ESI went into deep Introvert mode when she heard that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I've hired an ESI-Se Dual to help me redecorate my house, and we get along fantastically well, despite her being a 26 yo lesbian and me being a very hetero male who is over twice her age.

    Yesterday, I hired a 60-ish female ESE lighting expert to recommend light placements in all the rooms. The three of us went through the house, with the ESI explaining what we were trying to do and what she thinks will be right for each room.

    As she was leaving after giving her recommendations, the ESE said she was late for meeting her friends at a bowling alley, but she thought that the ESI and I would be very happy with the house in the future.

    When the ESE was gone, the ESI laughed and said "She thought we were together."

    "No. I doubt that. ...Well, maybe. We get along like a very compatible married couple."

    "She was probing to find out if you were single, to find out if the field was clear for her."

    I laughed. "That's possible. I've been talking to a lot of women who are older and are on dating sites, and the number of men who are my age, available, active, and not destitute is very small."

    For some reason, the ESI went into deep Introvert mode when she heard that.
    I can’t help but feel your decorator might be falling for you just a little bit, sexualities being as they are. If she has never had close contact with a dual, she is likely finding you to be emotionally dependable, which is ever so elusive and refreshing for Fi bases. Every time I read of your interactions with her I can practically hear her giving a sigh of relief that she’s found someone who is understanding of her.

  29. #309
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    I can’t help but feel your decorator might be falling for you just a little bit, sexualities being as they are. If she has never had close contact with a dual, she is likely finding you to be emotionally dependable, which is ever so elusive and refreshing for Fi bases. Every time I read of your interactions with her I can practically hear her giving a sigh of relief that she’s found someone who is understanding of her.
    @PinKDiGiT18, I don't think she's "falling for me", exactly. Rather, I think she's experiencing Duality, and that alone is seductive. We can't help but support each other's weak functions, and by doing so, each of us is relieved of worrying about those peripheral threats to our peace of mind that distract us from using our dominant functions to their full extent. She and I talked about that today.

    I told her that she was going to have to pay taxes on the money she was being paid, and she got upset because she wasn't expecting to have to do that. I explained to her how her income will be reported to the IRS by my bookkeeper because, legal, and this surprised her because she thought that this job was "off the table" like her previous jobs and I said, No, you will make enough to pay taxes and I don't need another audit by the IRS (and then I told her about my other audits and their consequences and that's why I walk on the sunny side of the street now) and she got silent and when I asked her what was wrong, she said that she was afraid the IRS would come after her for previous years of unreported income and I said No, she was safe because her earnings weren't that great. Then she said that she was now afraid that she was going to have to learn all about tax law to defend herself (undefended Te) and I asked her if she thought I had to learn all about color matching or if I could just hire it out, and she got it. She doesn't need to learn Te taxes if she has an advisor she trusts. So, I covered her 1D Te.

    Then, later, she told me again that she wanted to cook meals for me to get me to live more healthily and to protect me from myself. (She's seen me stirring instant coffee into cold water in a glass jelly jar with my finger and got out her phone to film it.) Well, having someone want to cook me a meal hits me in my weak Fi and I feel "grateful-loved-fearful-undeserving" like the five-year-old that my Fi actually is, and I don't know how to respond to that or how to defend against the intimacy that it represents because the five-year-old inside me was pretty fucked up by his mother's complete lack of Fi love and I get confused and Please stop saying that you want to cook for me and let's talk about something else.

    So we cover for each other. But are we falling for each other? I don't think so. I don't have sexual feelings for her, and I'm pretty sure it's mutual, although our level of mutual trust is so great that, if circumstances were different, that would be a very short hop over the broomstick. We're much closer to being mutually understanding buddies right now. She also told me today that she didn't think she would marry a Dual. She said it kind of defiantly, and I said, "You might not", and left it there. But let me tell you, she's going to be measuring all her future relationships against what she's feeling right now.

    I do think she finds me irritating at times. She sometimes swears and makes Alphas wince, but she told me to stop using the term "retarded" because it now has bad connotations, and when I quoted to her verbatim a conversation that I had with a racist in Alabama, she told me to never use the N-word, even in quoting, but to instead use the phrase "N-word". Lol. So she's correcting my morals, and she also told me not to tell people in real life exactly what I think of them. Which she has observed me doing several times, because then she had to intercede to smooth things over. She said she's done that several times. Maybe she has; I haven't noticed her doing this, but then, I guess I wouldn't.
    Well, yes, she has done that, now that I think of it.

    So we're helping each other. I know I'll miss her when she's done with this job. She told me that I have different vibes when she returns to the job after being away for a couple days, and I do feel a loss and honestly, I think I get subconsciously angry when she's not around, but I don't think we're "falling for each other." No. I don't think so.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 07-18-2021 at 04:35 AM.

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    This is my favorite thread.
    Last edited by PunkSailor; 07-19-2021 at 08:22 PM.
    If they ever tryna neck, I'll put my foot up in your caca
    Call your mama and your papa
    Like I'm finna take your dadda
    Turn that bitch into a soccer ball and rocka, rocka, rocka (brrr)
    Get into it like a suit
    And fuck a stack up like a broker

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    Quote Originally Posted by PunkSailor View Post
    This is my Favorite thread.
    God I've stayed out of the gamma threads because i didn't think they were interesting, what a fool I was

  32. #312
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    I and the 26 yo lesbian ESI-Se who is beautiful and who gives off Wonder Woman vibes walked to the Alpha-owned-and-run specialty food market to get lunch during a work break. We met my 34 yo LIE-0 investment counselor neighbor on the way, who gave her dirty looks and was polite but terse. I think he thinks we are together, and he clearly disapproves.

    We shopped, bought our lunch, and the ESI said to me, "I'll be outside while you check out." I paid for my food and as I was leaving, one of the cashiers behind me said to the other one, "What's he got?"

    Lol. He's got Duality, babe.

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    The ESI redecorator spent the morning buying new stuff for the house, and then we spent the afternoon cleaning out all the piles of paper that I've accumulated. Financial records, memories, junk. She said she feels better when she's unencumbered by physical possessions, and I will, too.

    I picked up one of those letters you get from your friends around Christmas which summarize their year and have pictures with the text. It was from my best ESI buddy in high school, and it had a picture of him with his ILI wife. I showed it to the ESI and said "This guy was my best friend in high school. That's his wife."

    She looked at the picture of the guy. She could see that he had the same build, the same expression on his face as her. "You told me about him. He's the friend that you thought you'd find more of, when you went to college, but you never did."

    I looked at the picture. "That's right."

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    The ESI-Se redecorator keeps reminding me that she's a lesbian.

    I know that. I know. She doesn't have to go on about it.

    Today, she said she wants to have kids someday. She should. She's high quality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    The ESI-Se redecorator keeps reminding me that she's a lesbian.

    I know that. I know. She doesn't have to go on about it.

    Today, she said she wants to have kids someday. She should. She's high quality.
    Lol does that mean you would have sex with her?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Lol does that mean you would have sex with her?

    I would be willing to have sex with her, and if that led to kids, then all the better, because the world needs more high quality people to solve its problems. But I'm 99.99999999% sure that she wouldn't have sex with me. She's not lying when she says she's a lesbian. I've seen the way she looks at women. And the way that some of them respond to her. It's like, hot and smokey and unbutton that blouse.

    Honestly, I think she'd get a donor to have kids. She's only talking to me because I'm the first Dual that she's met, and my God, Duality is appealing.

  37. #317

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    The ESI-Se redecorator keeps reminding me that she's a lesbian.
    I wonder what would happen if you replied "me too"

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I would be willing to have sex with her, and if that led to kids, then all the better, because the world needs more high quality people to solve its problems. But I'm 99.99999999% sure that she wouldn't have sex with me. She's not lying when she says she's a lesbian. I've seen the way she looks at women. And the way that some of them respond to her. It's like, hot and smokey and unbutton that blouse.

    Honestly, I think she'd get a donor to have kids. She's only talking to me because I'm the first Dual that she's met, and my God, Duality is appealing.
    Yes I know what you mean. You should have seen my ESI aunt and cousin the first time they met a dual. Their eyes and hearts stuck by the LIE. I am Fi and I observe relationships and attractions and that was so flame like.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  39. #319
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    I wonder what would happen if you replied "me too"

    I told her that she and I have a lot in common. For instance, we both like women.

    She did not like that. I thought she'd laugh, but she was not amused for some reason.

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    ESI-Fi (E9? E4?): “The more I make, the more I spend.”

    LIE-Te (e8w7): “I think that’s pretty normal.”

    ............................

    LIE-Te (e8w7): “I think you should get used to making lots of money. What are you going to do with it?”

    ESI-Se (e6w7 CP): “I don’t spend much. I believe in living very minimally. Like, I want to fit everything I own into a backpack.
    ”Maybe you can show me how to invest it?”

    LIE-Te (e8w7): “I can do that. The nuts and bolts of it, anyway. You’ll have to decide for yourself what you are comfortable with.”
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 07-25-2021 at 12:58 PM.

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