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Thread: Intra-Quadra Romantic and Sexual Relations

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    Default Intra-Quadra Romantic and Sexual Relations

    Does anyone know of articles written concerning intra-quadra sexual relations, or even sexual relations in general not written by Gulenko?

    I’ve been thinking recently on sexual/romantic ITRs. There’s something to Gulenko’s theory, I think — Se types tend to take a more active, ‘aggressive’ role, and so on. But there seem to be significant differences in how this plays out between quadras. Betas particularly seem more typical of the Aggressor/Victim descriptions, and Alphas of Caregivers/Infantiles, than Gammas and Deltas respectively, and I don’t think that describing Delta NFs as “Pseudo-Caregivers” really captures the essence of their particular dynamic. So I’d be interested what different Socionicists have to say on this.

    It does seem clear that the quadras do have preferred romance styles, at least. My general impression is that Alphas aren’t at all into an “aggressive” or competitive dynamic unless it’s playful and intentions are clear, and are atttacted to people based on a feeling of relaxment, fun, or general pleasure. Deltas seem to have a more “pedagogical” approach, as if the NFs and STs take an attitude of “mentoring” each other in ethical or logical subjects. Betas seem to be into an attitude of competition and making each other feel alive, energetic, and interested. Gammas I don’t think I understand well — SEEs seem much more “aggressor” types than ESIs, while neither of the NTs seem like classic “victims”. ( @Adam Strange, thoughts on this?) I think there’s some element of contest involved, maybe; a side having to “prove” they meet the standards of the other, but I’m not really sure of this.

    Anyway, links or thoughts are welcome.

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    honestly the use of 'pseudo' in those romantic styles suggests strongly they're under-developed ideas

    i think the romance styles are dumb and don't make any sense, but they seem to be popular so what do i know
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    This is from an old thread.

    http://www.lyubi.ru/socion18.php


    http://www.lyubi.ru/socion.php


    I don't mind the theories but then people apply them to absolutely everything others do and take them so literal it is laughable. Each relationship is going to have different dynamics regardless of the same socionics type.
    Last edited by Aylen; 10-20-2019 at 02:14 AM.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
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    It's theoretical ideas and there is not much reasonable from types point.
    These ideas are general, simple and evident. The rest is authors fantasies.

    In pairs with same values the behavior will be closer to expected by types theory.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Betas seem to be into an attitude of competition and making each other feel alive, energetic, and interested.
    I don't care much at all about competition or being energetic but I do like people who show interest and make me feel alive. So you were half right? =p

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post


    I don't care much at all about competition or being energetic but I do like people who show interest and make me feel alive. So you were half right? =p
    Hopefully. Yeah, in retrospect I don't think "competitive" is the right word to describe it. From the two IEIs I've known reasonably well, they seem to seem to view relationships/sex as assets they can leverage socially. Beyond them, my Beta social sphere such as it is is comprised mostly LSIs, who, I think, are less expressive about what makes them tick. But my general impression is that Betas usually view relationships/sex in similar terms as a game, and I think this is why the word "competitive" came to mind.

    I'm not sure of this though (which is, of course, why I'm asking here ).

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    Delta NF: Nymphs
    Delta STs: Disciplinarians

    Gamma NT: Company VP who has limited time for sex/romance in a single day
    Gamma SF: Money-hungry temp staff

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    Dcnh is also a major factor in sexual relations.
    A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
    (Jung on Si)


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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Delta NF: Nymphs
    Delta STs: Disciplinarians

    Gamma NT: Company VP who has limited time for sex/romance in a single day
    Gamma SF: Money-hungry temp staff
    These are great. Can you do one for Beta or Alpha?

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    Sexual attraction is animalistic and has nothing to do with ITR. Type usually takes a back seat to the animal in the driver's seat until one has been sufficiently beaten down by bad decisions. Romance style can be influenced by type but often this aspect is suppressed in order to impress; romance usually ends within a year after the honeymoon. Solid, long-lasting partnerships are most often from the head: an acceptance that this person is good for me and will always be there even though, sexually, the neighbour is much hotter.....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Sexual attraction is animalistic and has nothing to do with ITR. Type usually takes a back seat to the animal in the driver's seat until one has been sufficiently beaten down by bad decisions. Romance style can be influenced by type but often this aspect is suppressed in order to impress; romance usually ends within a year after the honeymoon. Solid, long-lasting partnerships are most often from the head: an acceptance that this person is good for me and will always be there even though, sexually, the neighbour is much hotter.....

    a.k.a. I/O
    I could not have said this better myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Sexual attraction is animalistic and has nothing to do with ITR.

    a.k.a. I/O
    BS
    ~ ESTP ~ SLE ~ ESTp ~ Self-Pres 7w8 ~ Sp/Sx ~ Fire Element ~ Aries Sign ~ Beta Quadra ~ Gryffindor House ~ Summer Season ~ SLUEN ~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    BS
    Actually, @Number 9 large, I agree with you on this point. The women whom I've been most hotly attracted to have been LSI's. The ones I have been more warmly but more deeply attracted to have been ESI's.

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    So far, my best sex has been with Delta J and ESFxes of unknown quadra... Wish I could pin that one down. Maybe an ESI. Guys who are too emotive tend to turn me off. If I'm having sex, it's all about the sex.

    There's not too much written about sex. I think the articles are probably overgeneralizing anyway.

    I've seen Deltas into BDSM and Betas into soft tender sex.
    Last edited by Aramas; 05-11-2020 at 07:44 PM.

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    > Betas particularly seem more typical of the Aggressor/Victim descriptions, and Alphas of Caregivers/Infantiles, than Gammas and Deltas respectively

    the difference relates to other valued functions in borders of common theory
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Link. I find it all to be quite accurate, personally.

    Alpha Quadrant

    Types: ILE (ENTp), SEI (ISFp), LII (INTj), ESE (ESFj)

    Description by V. Meged

    Motto: "To reflect and enjoy"
    The Alpha Quadra is characterized by a general, prevailing attitude to establish pleasant relationships without any problems, which may appear to have a "superficial" character. Mutual demands are satisfied through compromise. Grievances are quickly forgotten. They value having a sense of humor and responsiveness to erotic stimuli. Common interests that are shared in an atmosphere of light, positive emotional experiences helps to strengthen their relationships. In sexual relations, they value freedom and openness. Partners are attuned to seek perfection and intensity in their sexual experiences. They are characterized not so much by their responsiveness to verbal stimuli, but to touches and caresses. They are invigorated by fun, entertainment, and delicious food.

    Description by A. Boukalov

    The sexual program of Alpha Quadra is characterized by tender touches and caresses. In the dyad SEI-ILE, partners "love each other by their skin", as if dissolving in each other's embraces. The sensing types SEI and ESE enjoy being gently stroked on their skin. However, the ESE is much more emotional and passionate in his love manifestations, because he has to shake up and active his dual, the LII. The SEI, as an irrational type, shows more creativity and flexibility in comparison. Intuitive-logical types, LII and ILE, especially women, initially show less activity. Mirror relations between LII and ILE are characterized by a paucity of emotions and feelings, since both are logical and intuitive types. Mirror relations between ESE and SEI are accompanied by bright emotions and sensations, but there is often an accumulation of mutual subconscious dissatisfaction with each other. In general, mirror relations in marriage slowly "neuroticize" both partners. The ESE suffers more from this due to his rationality, while on irrational SEI this has a lesser effect.

    Beta Quadrant

    Types: SLE (ESTp), IEI (INFp), EIE (ENFj), LSI (ISTj)

    Description by V. Meged

    Motto: "To endure and conquer"
    Types of Beta quadra are characterized by a desire to test the strength of their feelings. Feelings of mistrust give rise to their tendency for strong relationships with jealous and possessive sentiments. When there is a lack of trust - deep, strong, and often dramatic experiences contribute to frequent quarrels followed by successive reconciliations. Such volatile emotional states are full of contradictions. A balance is achieved through suppression and submission of partners. Their sexuality is characterized by a mood of seriousness and passion. Often, one partner will behave in the opposite way of what the other expects, resulting in contrasting behaviors and sudden, unexpected emotional effects. For types in this quadra, coercive and defensive behavioral tendencies are sexually stimulating.

    Description by A. Boukalov

    In second Beta quadrant the nature of sexual program is of a very different kind. Here, tender touches and strokes leave partners indifferent. Instead they strive for an intense effect on each other's skin, which manifests in strong embraces, when partners squeeze and press each other. Both sensing type, SLE and LSI, are very jealous: one thought of their partner's infidelity may poison their life. It is not a mere accident that William Shakespeare, an EIE, describes how Othello (LSI) squeezes Desdemona when he is trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, an LSI (husband) and an EIE (wife), live in communal housing. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with their neighbors. The scenes resemble those of Shakespeare: "Whom have you been with?" the LSI husband asks and puts his hands on his wife's neck. She screams out, and he releases her out of fright. As for the SLE, he/she can in the moments of intercourse give accurate and decisive commands to the IEI. Mirror relations between SLE and LSI are quite complicated: in order to adapt to the partner, the SLE needs to constantly control himself, to keep himself in check. This tires him out, but if he doesn't do this, he "neuroticizes" the LSI by his sensory leading function, which is absent in the EIE. From EIE the LSI expects expressive dramatic feelings and support for his/her sensory initiatives. Meanwhile, the partners may adopt the most unbelievable positions. It is interesting to note that when types from different quadra meet, they view each other's behavioral peculiarities as unusual, which includes sexual behavior. Thus, a female ESI was quite amazed by attempts of a male IEI to squeeze her – she had to "teach him anew".

    Gamma Quadrant

    Types: SEE (ESFp), ILI (INTp), LIE (ENTj), ESI (ISFj)

    Description by V. Meged

    Motto: "To collaborate and acquire"
    The Gamma quadra's awareness and understanding of financial issues is dictated by an attitude towards mutual, material benefit between partners. They find a special significance in acquiring gifts and assistance in resolving business matters. This creates a favorable atmosphere and is also one of their erotic stimuli. However, in a quadra that is generally inclined towards stable relationships, problems of mutual understanding, frequent doubts, contradictions, and instability of emotions gives rise to crises and unexpected turns. The inherent emotional endurance of this quadra, combined with their rationality and practicality, helps them to cope with these issues. Between partners, volatile sexual patterns are the norm - from complete spiritual and physical mergers to estrangement. They are excited by light acts of resistance in a variety of settings.

    Description by A. Boukalov

    The sexual program of the third, Gamma quadra is very dynamic and often characterized by acrobatic behaviors of the partners. In dual dyad SEE-ILI, the initiative is almost always in the hands of the SEE, who uses his sensory function to direct his ILI partner. The ILI submits even when he is simply decisively taken by the hand. One ILI said: "If I am taken by the hand and led, I would follow at once. I wouldn't resist it but submit to the partner's control." When it comes to the dual dyad ESI-LIE, here frequent change of positions, high intensity of feelings, and high number of intercourses within short periods of time (for example, a couple of days) with subsequent long periods of cool down, relaxation and restoration of forces, are all characteristic. If the SEE cools down after the intercourse very quickly, the ESI might need one-two hours of strokes and caresses by his partner. Mirror relations between ESI and SEE resemble the mirror relations between LSI and SLE: ESI is also quite jealous. It is interesting in this regard to compare the intimate relations of SEI and SEE. These are called "contrary" relations, or relations of complete opposites. This may result in partner quickly growing cold towards each other, especially the introvert, as they completely extinguish each other in sensory and emotional sense. In "contrary" couples IEI-IEE and ILI-ILE such extinguishment effect is weaker and slower to take place, because their sensing functions reside in unconscious perception of both partners.

    Delta Quadrant

    Types: IEE (ENFp), SLI (ISTp), LSE (ESTj), EII (INFj)

    Description by V. Meged
    Motto: "To protect and help"
    The spirit of Delta quadra is characterized by an aggravated reaction to mental and physical discomfort. Therefore, a desire for harmony in all aspects of life is of special importance to them. They are stimulated by the combination of a beautiful and comfortable environment, delicious food, sincerity, and trust. It is necessary for them to care for the mental and physical comfort of their partners, as well as having safety and security in their relationships. For them, deep feelings imply a full understanding of, sensitivity to, and consideration for their partner's problems. They value mutual assistance in all things. Without this kind of responsiveness, harmonious sex can be problematic. The slightest faux pas or misunderstanding in a relationship can have an oppressive effect on their sex lives.

    Description by A. Boukalov

    Playful behavior, laughing, tender pinches of the partner, etc. are descriptive of the sexual program of the fourth, Delta quadra. The LSE shows more energy, though less creativity, in order to "wind up" his shy dual EII, and therefore he holds back less compared to the SLI. The SLI reserves his energies instead but shows more creativity with his dual the IEE; for both of them the approach is alike a high form of art. Female IEEs are characterized by wriggling, coquettish, cat-like movements. This dyad is strongly affected by external stimuli: movies, writing, lyrics, pictures, literature. A weak spot of IEE is pity or sympathy: a partner can be successful by telling stories of his sufferings and misfortunes. In this situation, the IEE becomes gentle and tender, and feels an urgent need to provide some relief. Incidentally, another epithet for IEE is "Don Juan": he can successfully court a woman, but in the last moment evade physical closeness. In this, IEE's dual SLI and activator LSE take the initiative into their own hands.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    These are great. Can you do one for Beta or Alpha?
    Umm I am not Ne only Ne role so my creative juices aren’t flowing as much anymore

    Beta NF: Psychedelics abusers
    Beta ST: Spousal abuse suspect

    How did you like this one? No? Yes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jughead View Post
    These are great. Can you do one for Beta or Alpha?
    Alpha NT: Pizzeria raiders @Rebelondeck
    Alpha SF: Kind bakers (kneading your dough, icing your cakes etc)

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    How so?

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    ......... The women whom I've been most hotly attracted to have been LSI's. The ones I have been more warmly but more deeply attracted to have been ESI's.
    Were the LSIs physically attractive by the standards of your generation because the hot ones usually attract the suitors? People tend to settle for the homely when they have no hot options and because of this, they also tend to look deeper for redeeming qualities. I recall all the men in my building salivating over this one admin assistant; there was a continual parade into her office area but I doubt that personality was the main attraction....

    a.k.a. I/O

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