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Thread: Do you care about your own poor polr usage

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Default Do you care about your own poor polr usage

    For years I've wondered about this, and I saw mention of it in the chatbox just now, so it occurred to me that I could pose the question to the forum (even if answers will vary or go off topic, and the theories don't represent reality, blah blah)

    Does it hurt when poor use of your polr is pointed out? Or if you devalue it, then when somebody says that yours is bad, it doesn't matter if you're not into it anyway?

    Yeah, it's disliked when other people use it. I got that. But question is in the title.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    I donít have heightened senses and Iím not always aware of my own or things around me so yeah itís a pain in the ass
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I'm supposedly Fe PoLR. I've only had a handful of such remarks in my life. People telling me "that I never smile" for instance. I didn't care about it.

    Pretty much all my issues are sensing-related.

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    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    My PoLR is Si, and I don't go to doctors or dentists if I'm not forced to do so, and I'm just really lucky that I seem to be very, very healthy. But I sometimes wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
    Same with my house. It is a disaster area while I'm installing new electrical, plumbing, furnace, air conditioning, and insulation. And that is prior to plastering, painting, refinishing the floors, and decorating. And even though a stranger looked at the inside and said "You're dating? You need to up your game", I just thought her remarks were funny, even though she is totally correct. And justified.

    I've come to accept the fact that I suck at maintaining my health and I'm not able to create a comfortable environment. I was more sensitive to it when I married an SLI Si-dom, but now I'm resigned to the fact. My approach to overcoming this lack is to hire people who do have that Si talent.

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    Hmm, it does not hurt. I like to think that I couldn't care less about what people say about my polr use. I find it strange when people say "Te" or "insert any polr" hurts them. What does that even mean? How does it hurt? I really want to know.

    There are things I am really good at, things I suck at and most things are in between. Things I suck at may get frustrating, especially if I am tired. If someone criticizes me when I am trying my best then I just tell them to do it themselves if I think they can do it better, or if I just want an easy out.

    This might be more about semantics. The word "hurt" just seems wrong as a descriptor to me.

    Edit: Going by theory then it seems likely you would not care as much about criticism in unvalued functions as much as criticism in valued.
    Last edited by Aylen; 10-08-2019 at 08:02 PM.

    ďMy typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.Ē​ óC.G. Jung

     



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    Since you suck at it, but don't care about it, it shouldn't matter much if you're commented on its suckyness. Worst would be to receive negative evaluation on your DS, which you suck at but it's very important.

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    I care about poor PoLR performance to the extent that it stops me from practically achieving things, I don't care about it in and of itself. If I have to do so for business I will try to force it, but I don't give a shit in my personal life. It doesn't affect me personally if someone says that I suck at Fe things, they are correct and I'm already aware of it.

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    a two horned unicorn renegade Heretic 007's Avatar
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    It is usually an accident. So not a big deal just dragging it along, I assume. Usually in many cases ignoring generates more visible effect in eyes of others – they say.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
    I donít care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.


    Due to Fi PoLR do not send PM's, please. 50/50 likelihood to get a reply if I'm going to even read your messages. Let's keep things public.

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    matter begone Antimattter's Avatar
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    I like using my shitty Se and Fe, just sucks that they take so much alcohol to activate. it's when my inhibitions block me from applying them at all that problems arise.
    You're the Turbo Killer - You're the Turbo Killer - You're the Turbo Killer

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    I think this has changed throughout my life. I think I started to work on it consciously after getting more into socionics (so maybe age 20 or 21+), and I feel better now and not nearly as insecure about it now as I did when I was younger, in a way I couldn't really put my finger on though at the time before of course.

    I still sometimes feel a bit sad when people don't engage with me when I think they should (usually Fi people), or when I miscommunicate with people and they give me negative energy or think I'm Satan, but it's not nearly as bad as before, and I don't feel as confused about it or blame myself as much like I would before. I also no longer feel the need to be friends with everyone or wonder why I'm not, or fantasize about being wildly popular to ensure that I'm surrounded with drunken chads and thots who worship me when my birthday rolls around. I also don't struggle with my identity or the issue of fakeness/pretense or "not knowing who I am" nearly as much as I did before (a 180 compared to before), and I don't get called out for it anymore like I used to. I am happy to be me, and I feel I've gained and reached a comfortable level of self-awareness.
    Last edited by sbbds; 10-08-2019 at 11:55 PM.

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    I think most of the time these days it comes up for me whenever someone says "Just do that, it's easy" and I have to remind them that I don't work that way

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    a critizism about your any weak regions is more unpleasant as it's hard to fix, hard to think
    you may try to ignore some region, but you can't do it totally - it's important as any other functions

    when other people use your nonvalued weak regions that may annoy as you need to process that too, it activates your own functions there which you'd prefer to lesser care about, regions where it's perceived as hard and not pleasant to do. it's not correctly to describe as "hurts". it's more often can be described to do unpleasant efforts. also this may reduce your attention concentration as the switch to nonvalued regions takes additional resources, those regions are lesser common - it's alike disorganises normal mind activity.

    the most negative you got from "role", not "polr". polr is alike stable buzzing. while by role you get the strongest hits

    P.S. take into account that all 8 functions are equally important. Jung's type is a pathological accentuation which leads to problems in how you react on different info
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    2real Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coeruleum View Post
    I've also learned you should always be brave and do the seemingly hardest thing out of your available options.
    Relevant.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    I'm trying to think of examples of actual criticisms of poor Ne and all I can come up with is "you should have thought of that."

    "You don't think of enough possibilities" just isn't the kind of thing people say. I guess there's "you're closed minded," which only really would come up during the kind of hostile disagreement that would elicit a brush off anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    I'm trying to think of examples of actual criticisms of poor Ne and all I can come up with is "you should have thought of that."

    "You don't think of enough possibilities" just isn't the kind of thing people say. I guess there's "you're closed minded," which only really would come up during the kind of hostile disagreement that would elicit a brush off anyway.
    OK. I don't find ESI's doing particularly bad fact checking and looking issues all around. Sometimes those things are just plainly out of sight. Nose for unseen can be totally off or too trusting.
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
    I donít care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.


    Due to Fi PoLR do not send PM's, please. 50/50 likelihood to get a reply if I'm going to even read your messages. Let's keep things public.

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    OK. I don't find ESI's doing particularly bad fact checking and looking issues all around. Sometimes those things are just plainly out of sight. Nose for unseen can be totally off or too trusting.
    How would you remark on somebody's bad Ne?
    If you were so inclined :>

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    How would you remark on somebody's bad Ne?
    If you were so inclined :>
    Bad Ne is different from Ne-PoLR.

    In my opinion, ESI's like to know where they stand. They like to have things settled, if only in their minds. (I think they rationalize a lot to be able to tell themselves that something is settled, regardless of whether it is or not.) They don't like ambiguity.

    I think this Ne-PoLR is a result of ESI's having poor Ni; they have a hard time seeing alternatives in the future, and therefore have a hard time with assessing the risks of doing something different. This is one reason they tend to stay in one job forever, no matter how much abuse they receive. The job they have is a Known, any other job could be Scary Bad Worse.

    I worked with an ILE who never came to a final conclusion on much of anything. I think that would drive an ESI nuts.

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    Nah, why should I? What could go wrong with living like a hobo stuck in a constant out of body experience?
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Bad Ne is different from Ne-PoLR.

    In my opinion, ESI's like to know where they stand. They like to have things settled, if only in their minds. (I think they rationalize a lot to be able to tell themselves that something is settled, regardless of whether it is or not.) They don't like ambiguity.

    I think this Ne-PoLR is a result of ESI's having poor Ni; they have a hard time seeing alternatives in the future, and therefore have a hard time with assessing the risks of doing something different. This is one reason they tend to stay in one job forever, no matter how much abuse they receive. The job they have is a Known, any other job could be Scary Bad Worse.

    I worked with an ILE who never came to a final conclusion on much of anything. I think that would drive an ESI nuts.
    I agree with you about Ne polr, but wouldn't that mean "bad Ne" in the sense of Ne being comfortable with ambiguity, more inclined to take measured risks for possible positive outcomes, etc

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    Quote Originally Posted by Remiel View Post
    Relevant.
    Poetry is hard

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    2real Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Poetry is hard
    Haha! Got you to leave the conversation to try to attack me on other fronts, proving yet again you can't stand up to me or anyone else for that matter. Like a dog in an electrified cage you are. Entertaining to a point but then better left to die on it's own.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



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    Quote Originally Posted by Remiel View Post
    Haha! Got you to leave the conversation to try to attack me on other fronts, proving yet again you can't stand up to me or anyone else for that matter. Like a dog in an electrified cage you are. Entertaining to a point but then better left to die on it's own.
    If i cant stand up to you why am i attacking you on other fronts then

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    Im not attacking you poetry really is hard thats why u cant write it

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    2real Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    If i cant stand up to you why am i attacking you on other fronts then
    Like a child grabbing at coat-tails.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



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    Quote Originally Posted by Remiel View Post
    Like a child grabbing at coat-tails.
    Remiel is gay - Thucypenis

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    Guys, guys, don't fight. I can't choose sides.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 3w4 9w8

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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    Guys, guys, don't fight. I can't choose sides.
    Its ok i already won. AND without a font so that counts as twice

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    ...but wouldn't that mean "bad Ne" in the sense of Ne being comfortable with ambiguity, more inclined to take measured risks for possible positive outcomes, etc
    I guess "bad Ne" is when someone can not disginguish between realistic and unrealistic ideas. All ideas have the same quality. Bad Ne is when you also pursue unrealistic ideas or communicate bad ideas as good ideas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    I guess "bad Ne" is when someone can not disginguish between realistic and unrealistic ideas. All ideas have the same quality. Bad Ne is when you also pursue unrealistic ideas or communicate bad ideas as good ideas.
    Isnt distinguishing between ideas done by a judging function. I thought Ne was just a way a person gets info, aka the more Ne he has the more ideas he gathers

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    I'm in my early 30's and at this age and stage I've done so much, inner and outer, that I really have no idea what I would even consider my polr. I can pretty much successfully do all the information elements if push comes to shove. So...

    socionics success story!

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    When it concerns something I care about, yes.

    I know I'm not forceful enough. But it isn't an issue for me since I don't usually put myself in a position of responsibility anyway and I try to keep my independence.

    Except when I'm at work. I can't afford to not be in control, so I have to act like an asshole sometimes to get things done.

    Happened today actually. I had multiples aircrafts in a sequence and I needed to slow them all down, so I asked the first pilot what his minimum clean speed so I can give to him and then slow everyone else to his speed. That is a mistake, I should have just gave him whatever speed I wanted to avoid unnecessary chatter. The minute I'm finished assigning the speed to the first guy, the second aircraft asks to maintain their own minimum clean speed (which is higher than the first aircraft). I could have gave it to him but I know where this ends from experience. I'll just get nonstop requests from pilots that messes my whole sequence and increase my work load. So I just told him no and reduced everyone to the same speed. Told them they are in a sequence and they need to follow my lead.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Bad Ne is different from Ne-PoLR.

    In my opinion, ESI's like to know where they stand. They like to have things settled, if only in their minds. (I think they rationalize a lot to be able to tell themselves that something is settled, regardless of whether it is or not.) They don't like ambiguity.

    I think this Ne-PoLR is a result of ESI's having poor Ni; they have a hard time seeing alternatives in the future, and therefore have a hard time with assessing the risks of doing something different. This is one reason they tend to stay in one job forever, no matter how much abuse they receive. The job they have is a Known, any other job could be Scary Bad Worse.

    I worked with an ILE who never came to a final conclusion on much of anything. I think that would drive an ESI nuts.
    Well, one would say that they do OK with result side of Ne. They do not take deep dives into the very core of an issue aka Ne process side. Similarly with ILE. They usually see point in humanism (process Fi) but much less in actual bonds (result Fi).
    Quote Originally Posted by Groucho Marx
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    Due to Fi PoLR do not send PM's, please. 50/50 likelihood to get a reply if I'm going to even read your messages. Let's keep things public.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Isnt distinguishing between ideas done by a judging function. I thought Ne was just a way a person gets info, aka the more Ne he has the more ideas he gathers
    My statement was an example for bad itself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Andreas View Post
    Okay, so in model A, my PoLR is Se.
    If it being pointed out even in public and maybe they go deeper into personal life, I feel theories already explain it clearly. It is mental, so I aware. But it also devalued, so I don't put that point as a matter for me.

    I feel the hurt feeling that I experienced in exchanging Se information is not when they mentioned my weak Se, but when they expect me to see and understanding (and practicing) the bigger dimension of Se function in real life. So, it might be like this...

    (In a public discussion about social issues)
    X : "Yeah, this issues is need to be concern for us because this is important for our future"
    Y : "And don't forget about increasing funding for defense and military."
    Me : "Okay, I will put all your concern as my consideration before I made my decision"
    (See, I am fine if anyone notice my weak Se)
    X : "Why do you need to consider? This situation is emergency."
    Y : "Yes, you are the leader. You should make decision now or never."
    Me : triggered
    (Then, tomorrow, I wrote a resign letter, leave public discussion, and let decision for issues remain undecided)
    This is a great example, thank you!

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    I'm not sure it depends on how they do it. I have been told I am too genuine with others before, that I needed to be more fake and business-y (which to me is part of Te polr?) And because I can be so genuine and heartfelt with others, people will often take what I say too seriously IRL and assume everything I merely say must be 150 times true and gospel when it isn't. At all. This at first might seem like a good thing to somebody who doesn't have this, but it doesn't- it sucks.

    Te & Fe gets in this tug of war a lot that I can be sensitive to. Would I care about if other people didn't exist, like am I personally insecure about it regardless- umm I'm not sure, I don't think polr is so much like that. It's supposed to be one dimensional, so your attitudes about polr is naturally overly personal (that's why it causes so much problem with others) but actually caring about that seems to me like unnecessarily de-empowering myself so maybe I do care, but I try not to lol.

    I said this before but... contrary to how I feel other people see me, I don't enjoy feeling weak or helpless with others or that I am 'below them' in anyway, part of why I crushed on prison meat SLE so badly is that he made me feel like I was the one with the power.... ironically I guess, but that is why I fell in love with him. I strongly believe Te polr is one of those things where IRL you come off as more 'victimy' and misunderstood than intended, because like Se polr it is one of the more obvious polrs in a harsh real world setting. So it looks to others I am 'playing the victim' a lot but in reality, I don't feel that way at all - and how I appear to others doesn't have much to do with my internal mental state either. So they might psychoanalyze me badly - but Te polr isn't all that psychological compared to Ne or interpersonal faggy like Fi so I think, that's kind of the difference.

  36. #36

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    i hate being thrown into situations without enough information or time to process. i stink at it
    He always finds a way

    http://www.onfireee.wordpress.com

  37. #37
    Number 9 large's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peteronfireee View Post
    i hate being thrown into situations without enough information or time to process. i stink at it
    Se polr?

  38. #38
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    I find that i tend to limit relations with people because i find them to be a big burden. Peoples expectations of me and their feelings getting butthurt over every other thing i do or say (or dont do or say) annoys me, i guess im ashamed that i dont have more friends or sth so in order to not experience that i rid people from my life to avoid judgment altogether

  39. #39
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Do you care about your own poor polr usage

    It's not a problem as long as one is alone (or with good friends). But with other people it becomes a problem because it is so obvious that they are better at it so they sort of override your own pathetic attempts.

    In my experience the problem is that the PoLR is producing, so you easily do too much but weak, or you expose yourself in a bad way. Then people look at you like you're an idiot. Except duals who will just smooth over it and then shift focus to other things.

  40. #40
    TRVE KVLT Armalite's Avatar
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    Can't really ignore Te forever, eventually you have to deal with it, that's life, it sucks tho

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