View Poll Results: What do you think my type is?

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  • SEI

    5 38.46%
  • ILE

    0 0%
  • LII

    0 0%
  • ESE

    0 0%
  • IEI

    0 0%
  • SLE

    0 0%
  • LSI

    0 0%
  • EIE

    0 0%
  • ESI

    0 0%
  • LIE

    0 0%
  • ILI

    0 0%
  • SEE

    0 0%
  • EII

    7 53.85%
  • LSE

    1 7.69%
  • SLI

    0 0%
  • IEE

    0 0%
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Thread: What would you type me?

  1. #81
    I'm a peach and you're a plum thegreenfaerie's Avatar
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    9 would make a lot of sense in the trouble in figuring out types I think too (even though for socionics, I believe 9's can have a hard time with making decisions and the like), ofc, Angelic, you know yourself better than any of us, but I think 9 is definitely worth looking into.

    My dad is a type 2, 2w3 (xNFJ, EIE) and yes, he's strong-willed and he can be pretty aggressive when not doing well. 9's can be total sweethearts. The girl I was mentioning I get along with in my class, who types as INFP in MBTI, like myself, and we have a ton in common, is softer seeming than I am and I get the impression she's SEI, though she has hints of something kind of akin to scattered Ne too, so... I'm trying to figure out why SEI and EII would be a common mistyping, because it seems like this may be the case
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    You remind me of robot14, in a way, who was typed SEI by a lot of people. You express more Fe, are softer and more ip-ish than her though. I think your words are a cross between an EII and SEI. I also think you are more skittish and sensitive to any disharmony? I find it difficult to imagine you with an ST.

    Why do you type E2? Is it because they are called a "helpful," "mothering" type and that is very important to you? You project a kind of sadness in your video that I want to link to type 9. Not saying your aren't a 2 but they are generally more extroverted. My ESE sister is a 2w3. She sometimes seems like an SEI because she is soft and sweet but she is clearly an outgoing, extroverted person and can be more assertive if she needs to be. When she was younger she was not as assertive. I am not typing you. Just giving you some things to think about. When I saw your first video I thought you were 14 or 15. I am not sure if you mention your age but maybe it is your energy that is childlike not childish. To me there are clear differences between you and @bouncingoffclouds

    She is pretty clearly NF but I can't say the same about you watching the video. I can't quite explain the differences other than vibes.
     



     



    I have always gone back and forth between E2 and E9 it was only recently that I was confident with saying 2w1 as my core type, my tritype is 296. I do resonate with them being called "helpers" and motherly" so I would agree with saying that those are really important to me. A lot of my friends reffer to me as "the mom friend" because of my desire to help and take care of them, as well as to help them grow in general. I tend to just have a naturally strong maternal instinct even with animals. I just want to love and love. And I feel like that stems from the fear of being unloved which really resonates with me as well. I do how ever relate to E9 very much so as well. Those descriptions you attached were very informative thank you so much. Something that resonated with me was "Twos under stress become domineering; Nines under stress tend to withdraw. Twos are quite strong willed; Nines struggle with self-assertion" With this I act more 9 I tend to pull my self back from situations a lot and withdrawn when I go through something, or when I am under stress. I think the hardest think for me is that I relate and resonate with both types so much both I feel like I express both. I know there should be a single core type but I have to figure it out.

    Also I am 18 years old, sorry (I probably should have mentioned my age in the video haha)

    Thank you once again for such a great response really appreciate the input!
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  3. #83

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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    9 would make a lot of sense in the trouble in figuring out types I think too (even though for socionics, I believe 9's can have a hard time with making decisions and the like), ofc, Angelic, you know yourself better than any of us, but I think 9 is definitely worth looking into.

    My dad is a type 2, 2w3 (xNFJ, EIE) and yes, he's strong-willed and he can be pretty aggressive when not doing well. 9's can be total sweethearts. The girl I was mentioning I get along with in my class, who types as INFP in MBTI, like myself, and we have a ton in common, is softer seeming than I am and I get the impression she's SEI, though she has hints of something kind of akin to scattered Ne too, so... I'm trying to figure out why SEI and EII would be a common mistyping, because it seems like this may be the case
    Yes definitely! I called myself 9w1 at some point I have always gone between type 2 and 9. When I finally think I settle on one, something pops up and makes me confused again ahah (same with EII and SEI when I think I settle on one I get confused again). And yeah I feel like SEI and EII are more similar than people think. Thank you for the input cloud I always appreciate your opinion, especially seeing how we are both in the same bubble lmao (trying to figure out our types).
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  4. #84
    I'm a peach and you're a plum thegreenfaerie's Avatar
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    lmao. I have the same dilemma. I was so set on EII creative subtype this morning and felt "lucid", was able to point out all these reasons why to my EIE friend who protested at IEI or IEE... though keep in mind he's a friend from the internet, he hasn't seen me in all realms of life (though he's heard me talk about how I am, seen me talk online to people a ton, talked to me on the phone and seen many vids, snaps etc), but yes, I'm also getting endlessly confused on this. Thankfully I don't have this issue with core type in enneagram. it only seems to be a major problem with socionics, which, makes sense as it's more complex. Hey, it could be kind of fun to research and try to figure it out though with enneagram. Maybe you have both 9 and 2 in the tritype
    Quote Originally Posted by angelic View Post
    Yes definitely! I called myself 9w1 at some point I have always gone between type 2 and 9. When I finally think I settle on one, something pops up and makes me confused again ahah (same with EII and SEI when I think I settle on one I get confused again). And yeah I feel like SEI and EII are more similar than people think. Thank you for the input cloud I always appreciate your opinion, especially seeing how we are both in the same bubble lmao (trying to figure out our types).
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by inaLim View Post
    Based on the 2nd video I would say EII. Childlike vibe & sincere communication style. Not really seeing Se. Overwhelming rational Fi. Every other word is about intimacy, relationship distance, superficial vs deep, respect, manners etc etc. Your speech & self-expression seem regulated in a way that comes off as incongruent with your dead seriousness about relationships. Like its intentional etiquette masking internal judgment. My subjective reaction to you is conflictor EII, less so supervisor ESI, not really mirage SEI.
    Oh I'm sorry I thought I responded to this! Really interesting things you picked up on, I really appreciate your input its got me thinking on a couple things I do. Especially when you mention "Like its intentional etiquette masking internal judgment" this was such a cool perspective, and I would agree with you on it.
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  6. #86

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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    lmao. I have the same dilemma. I was so set on EII creative subtype this morning and felt "lucid", was able to point out all these reasons why to my EIE friend who protested at IEI or IEE... though keep in mind he's a friend from the internet, he hasn't seen me in all realms of life (though he's heard me talk about how I am, seen me talk online to people a ton, talked to me on the phone and seen many vids, snaps etc), but yes, I'm also getting endlessly confused on this. Thankfully I don't have this issue with core type in enneagram. it only seems to be a major problem with socionics, which, makes sense as it's more complex. Hey, it could be kind of fun to research and try to figure it out though with enneagram. Maybe you have both 9 and 2 in the tritype
    Yeah at the end of the day you know yourself best, people can offer great judgement but no matter the case they haven't gone through everything you have, seen you in different scenarios, know all of your experiences, etc. You mentioned it before and I 100% agree with you on it! So as long as you are confident in what you type yourself that's what matters. Though why doesn't he at least consider EII-Fi for you as an option? Rather than protest only IEI and IEE as the only possibility.

    And yes I definitely have both in my tritype I just need to focus on what my core might be I am learning something new everyday so hopefully eventually I will be able to confidently say my core type ahah (same goes for socinonics too lol)
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  7. #87
    I'm a peach and you're a plum thegreenfaerie's Avatar
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    Absolutely I agree. I don't know because he even thought I was EII before lol. Lol I do the same thing at being confident in a typing. I'm getting it more figured out, DJ is helping a lot.
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    Absolutely I agree. I don't know because he even thought I was EII before lol. Lol I do the same thing at being confident in a typing. I'm getting it more figured out, DJ is helping a lot.
    Hopefully your friend can reconsider it! And yeah hes great at typing he taught me everything I know and got me into socionics! He goes in depth in his explanations which is always extremely helpful and sweet
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  9. #89
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    I shall post here for Fate but I've typed her SEI-Fe (Harmonic) for most the time I've known her the past year now. Firstly, noting that she was very nervous in this. The only situation where I find myself nervous is in front of many people where I can't mediate the way I'm being received. Nervous people tend to make me anxious and I got a good bit of anxiety watching these videos. I'd like to reference part of the description of SEI as this is how I perceived her in the video:

    "At times when they have to present themselves or their work to others, they may be overly socially anxious and afraid of disappointing others, and they may tend to overwork themselves or give extra effort. In this way, they may be highly industrious and dutiful workers."

    "Many SEIs are shy, sensitive, and reserved. They may develop a mild, friendly, and soft-spoken demeanor, as they can frequently be overly concerned that they have offended others with their actions. They can be inclined to a somewhat avoidant, withdrawn, and socially reserved lifestyle."

    That said, there's an obvious charm to her presentation. She smiles a lot and obviously cares about how she's being received by the viewer(clearly to her detriment). She seems very contented with daily life and highly attentive to her friends and family. You can tell she has a strong mindfulness towards the impact and effect that she's having over the people in her life and a sense of duty to her environment. She wants to raise the atmosphere and make everyone feel accepted. The attention is focused on keeping things positive and making things better which is very Fe. Very focused on establishing comfort for herself and the people in her life. She "adores" helping others and finds the most joy in this place. She's very soft spoken and makes herself small, which I would assert is subconsciously her way of keeping away from conflict and disharmony. A lot of this can be attributed to the qualities of type 9 as well but I've seen no sign of -Ne; +Si/-Fe with demonstrative 4D Fi seems the most clear. She thinks about getting married and is stressed out by time she's spent worrying about the future which I would attribute to Role +Ni. Wondering if she'll find someone and building unrealistic expectations and urgency towards this goal.

    An excerpt from Gulenko's description of SEI, Harmonic: "Normally she is always soft and charming in every way, reserving her peace of mind and harmony with the surrounding world. SEI dislikes drawing attention to her troubles and failures. When in need of assistance, she resorts only to those close to her or to knowledgeable experts. By nature, she is secretive and vulnerable, trying not to burden her friends because she knows how unpleasant it is. She never demands attention if she feels it is not warranted. However, she will respond to others' calls for help."
    Last edited by toska; 11-02-2019 at 03:25 PM.

  10. #90
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    SEI. I'll get into DCNH later on.

    EII's are usually very static people because they hold their Fe under very tight control.
    Measuring you right now

    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type

  11. #91
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    Yeah I wish I could change my vote to SEI honestly, and this reminds me of other people I’ve thought were potential SEI’s. The “softness” and “making self smaller” is a bit of a dead giveaway to me in that description for many SEI’s.
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
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  12. #92
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    I think you're probably ESI-Fi (accentuated Fi/Fe and Ni/Ne), 9w1.

    EII or SEI are too disparate to be viable choices--3D Ne creative and 1D Ne suggestive show up very differently in the world. Moreover, I see a dearth of Ne or Ne seeking in your comments--frankly you don't even seem to value it, at all. But you know what reasonable compromise sits somewhere in between EII and SEI? ESI > strong 4D Si and Fi and 2D valued intuition as a hidden agenda, which means it will play a more immediately significant role in your psyche.

    Several times you mentioned focusing a lot on the future, though you feel somewhat insecure about how it will actually unfold, which is typical for weak 2D Ni. It must also be said that "daydreaming daily" does not equal intuitive type, no more than doing some sort of physical activity daily equals sensor. Se is my hidden agenda/mobilizing function and it often serves as a release valve for me, which is why I'm always in the gym or sketching/drawing or doing something that involves fine motor skills and tactile perception. But that don't make me a LSI! Lol

    Lastly, you're very young and your cognitive functions are still developing. It would be expected for Se to not play a prominent role in your life at the moment, and even more so if you are a Fi subtype and enneagram 9. Also, Se can work a bit differently for Gamma types--it's not so much "offensive" as it is "defensive" in that it prefers to outmaneuver the power displays of others or forcefully keep them at bay, if necessary--especially concerning the preservation of Fi related values. I've known far too many ESIs (and even LSI-Ti types as well) who don't begin to discover and embrace their Se until their 20s.

  13. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    I think you're probably ESI-Fi (accentuated Fi/Fe and Ni/Ne), 9w1.
    -
    Last edited by toska; 06-23-2020 at 12:20 AM.

  14. #94
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    What is her/your MBTI type out of curiosity?
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
    Aquarius - Pisces - Pisces

  15. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    What is her/your MBTI type out of curiosity?
    I typed as INFJ, Fate typed as ISFJ.
    Last edited by toska; 06-23-2020 at 12:20 AM.

  16. #96
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    i think you're right about you being a 2, not 9, although your second fix is clearly 9. i say this cos in your videos your focus is on how much you want to be a caregiver and take care of someone, your love of children etc is so caricature (i know this is not the right word but i can't think of the right word right now) of type 2.
    9s would be more about how all is one and 'magical' thinking, and all-encompassing if that makes sense while your focus is on you being a certain role, e.g. a care-giver. 9s are not stuck in that role, or in any role at all.
    being so stuck in that care-giver role is the essence of 2.

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    Quote Originally Posted by toska View Post
    This is an interesting suggestion. I've commented a few times in the past on the potential of her being ESI and she VI's well for it but the concept of Se seems to be something she strongly rejects. My ex actually exhibited exactly what you're speaking to. She typed as EII-Fi for the longest time but could never really settle on a type. Turns out she was actually ESI-Fi.
    1. ) Yeah, Se tends to get a bad rep because of its more noticeably flashy manifestations but there is nuance that often goes overlooked--which, incidentally, is where creative Se thrives > more scalpel than butcher knife.

    2.) Gamma Se (especially in SFs) can be rather assertive when protecting their values and interests, especially in the form of resistance and non compliance > "you won't walk all over me!" It's about using one's own will to stop the unwanted imposition of another's will. Gamma Se can be seemingly passive and avoidant until they are forced to show "strength."

    There's no way in the world one can be an effective teacher of small children if they are not sufficiently capable of asserting boundaries in a way that is impactful, which doesn't mean that children must be aggressively or antagonistically harmed/brutalized/mistreated. Creative Se knows how to properly calibrate the amount and manner of the force/impact required to suit its aim.

  18. #98
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    Whatever she is, she’s great : )
    EII - INFP - E4 - 469- Melancholic
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    Quote Originally Posted by toska View Post
    An excerpt from Gulenko's description of SEI, Harmonic: "Normally she is always soft and charming in every way, reserving her peace of mind and harmony with the surrounding world. SEI dislikes drawing attention to her troubles and failures. When in need of assistance, she resorts only to those close to her or to knowledgeable experts. By nature, she is secretive and vulnerable, trying not to burden her friends because she knows how unpleasant it is. She never demands attention if she feels it is not warranted. However, she will respond to others' calls for help."
    I heavily relate to this description. I always feel so terrible every time I "burden" someone with my issues, though I will happily talk and discuss with others their problems. Just like the description says, when I want to talk to someone I go to someone whom I trust and am close with, profusely apologizing for even venting. Everything about this description is very me I'd say, there isn't a single part I don't relate too!
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    Yeah I wish I could change my vote to SEI honestly, and this reminds me of other people I’ve thought were potential SEI’s. The “softness” and “making self smaller” is a bit of a dead giveaway to me in that description for many SEI’s.
    Haha yeah I make my presence as small as I can in order to not be a bother, and because of my overall shy nature.
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    i think you're right about you being a 2, not 9
    "I make my presence as small as I can in order to not be a bother"

    this attitude helps to help others, for sure
    For 9 is that she looks rather calm an cute. I perceive so my Enneagram's "conflictors".
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    I think you're probably ESI-Fi (accentuated Fi/Fe and Ni/Ne), 9w1.

    EII or SEI are too disparate to be viable choices--3D Ne creative and 1D Ne suggestive show up very differently in the world. Moreover, I see a dearth of Ne or Ne seeking in your comments--frankly you don't even seem to value it, at all. But you know what reasonable compromise sits somewhere in between EII and SEI? ESI > strong 4D Si and Fi and 2D valued intuition as a hidden agenda, which means it will play a more immediately significant role in your psyche.
    Several times you mentioned focusing a lot on the future, though you feel somewhat insecure about how it will actually unfold, which is typical for weak 2D Ni. It must also be said that "daydreaming daily" does not equal intuitive type, no more than doing some sort of physical activity daily equals sensor. Se is my hidden agenda/mobilizing function and it often serves as a release valve for me, which is why I'm always in the gym or sketching/drawing or doing something that involves fine motor skills and tactile perception. But that don't make me a LSI! Lol

    Lastly, you're very young and your cognitive functions are still developing. It would be expected for Se to not play a prominent role in your life at the moment, and even more so if you are a Fi subtype and enneagram 9. Also, Se can work a bit differently for Gamma types--it's not so much "offensive" as it is "defensive" in that it prefers to outmaneuver the power displays of others or forcefully keep them at bay, if necessary--especially concerning the preservation of Fi related values. I've known far too many ESIs (and even LSI-Ti types as well) who don't begin to discover and embrace their Se until their 20s.
    I think I am pretty confident with 2w1 as my core type now. However you bring up some good points, I do feel like my Fi is quite strong. Though saving this, I don't think that I don't value my Ne on the contrary I tend to be a very indecisive person because I go between and through so many possibilities and even in my head when something happens I play out multiple scenarios of how it can/could've gone differently. I also find my self searching of the potential especially in people so I don't think that its undervalue or my PoLR personally. And you bring up a great point, I am only 18 and I heard that our brains don't fully develop till our 20s, plus I am sure I still have many experiences that I need to go through and grow from!

    Thank you so much for your input this it definitely a possibility for me, but I have to still sort things out with myself and grow more. This definitely is a consideration and I have contemplated it before! I would love to continue to explore if I may be this type though so we will see!
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    Quote Originally Posted by toska View Post
    This is an interesting suggestion. I've commented a few times in the past on the potential of her being ESI and she VI's well for it but the concept of Se seems to be something she strongly rejects. My ex actually exhibited exactly what you're speaking to. She typed as EII-Fi for the longest time but could never really settle on a type. Turns out she was actually ESI-Fi.
    Yeah I still strongly reject Se, but who knows what may happen when I get older
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    Quote Originally Posted by maniac View Post
    i think you're right about you being a 2, not 9, although your second fix is clearly 9. i say this cos in your videos your focus is on how much you want to be a caregiver and take care of someone, your love of children etc is so caricature (i know this is not the right word but i can't think of the right word right now) of type 2.
    9s would be more about how all is one and 'magical' thinking, and all-encompassing if that makes sense while your focus is on you being a certain role, e.g. a care-giver. 9s are not stuck in that role, or in any role at all.
    being so stuck in that care-giver role is the essence of 2.
    I defiantly agree! I feel like I have to in a sense be that caregiver, for my friends, for a lover, for my family, even for my animals. I enjoy being that role too, my desire to help fills my heart up once I have pleased the other person.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    Whatever she is, she’s great : )
    You are such a sweetheart cloud <3 :')
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    1. ) Yeah, Se tends to get a bad rep because of its more noticeably flashy manifestations but there is nuance that often goes overlooked--which, incidentally, is where creative Se thrives > more scalpel than butcher knife.

    2.) Gamma Se (especially in SFs) can be rather assertive when protecting their values and interests, especially in the form of resistance and non compliance > "you won't walk all over me!" It's about using one's own will to stop the unwanted imposition of another's will. Gamma Se can be seemingly passive and avoidant until they are forced to show "strength."

    There's no way in the world one can be an effective teacher of small children if they are not sufficiently capable of asserting boundaries in a way that is impactful, which doesn't mean that children must be aggressively or antagonistically harmed/brutalized/mistreated. Creative Se knows how to properly calibrate the amount and manner of the force/impact required to suit its aim.
    I still have the issue of letting people step over me . When I worked with kids as a helper teacher they always knew that I was very passive, and would take advantage of that, I was even told by their actual teacher that I should raise my voice at them at times, through I just couldn't. I feel like in order to be a teacher its something I would have todevelop. So its possible that the more I work with kids the more my Se develops. Who knows, that would be an interesting perspective on it.
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    Yeah, I personally do not see you as ESI, but rather SEI, just my feeling
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    I change my vote to SEI too after looking at your part 3 video

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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    Yeah, I personally do not see you as ESI, but rather SEI, just my feeling
    Yeah me too
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    I change my vote to SEI too after looking at your part 3 video
    Oo out of curiosity what made you lean more to SEI after watching the video. Thank you for the input by the way <3
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    @Alonzo What would your second choice be for me SEI, EII, or maybe something else?
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelic View Post
    I feel like in order to be a teacher its something I would have to develop.
    teacher and psychologist are among specialities which lead to the worst relations with own children, I saw somewhere mentioned

    when you control many kids you _may_ develop the relation to them as to subordinates. you establish formal control above them. and loose a compassion. if that spreads on own family, your children feel the lack of love and later rebel above you. they later relate to you as not to a friend, but a boss which has lost the power and authority to control them.

    I do not know is there a clear way to develop a sympathy in kids to control them, but not to control them by a fear only. At least, they should respect you and to follow your orders. To be assertive and to punish is common way to control. If to explain them why you need to do this - mb they'll lesser hate you. Would be good to motivate by gifts for doing what is demanded. To say good and pleasant words for behaving good and good results, for example.

    > So its possible that the more I work with kids the more my Se develops. Who knows, that would be an interesting perspective on it.

    there is a place for all functions to develop. being an introvert - you'll develop keeping more attention on other people, their needs and states
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    teacher and psychologist are among specialities which lead to the worst relations with own children, I saw somewhere mentioned

    when you control many kids you _may_ develop the relation to them as to subordinates. you establish formal control above them. and loose a compassion. if that spreads on own family, your children feel the lack of love and later rebel above you. they later relate to you as not to a friend, but a boss which has lost the power and authority to control them.

    I do not know is there a clear way to develop a sympathy in kids to control them, but not to control them by a fear only. At least, they should respect you and to follow your orders. To be assertive and to punish is common way to control. If to explain them why you need to do this - mb they'll lesser hate you. Would be good to motivate by gifts for doing what is demanded. To say good and pleasant words for behaving good and good results, for example.

    > So its possible that the more I work with kids the more my Se develops. Who knows, that would be an interesting perspective on it.

    there is a place for all functions to develop. being an introvert - you'll develop keeping more attention on other people, their needs and states

    Oh I would never want to control kids like that, for me my "teaching style" is more maternal. I have a lottttt of patience (and i mean a lot), and am willing to help the child grow despite the difficultly with some of them. Whether it be behavioral issues or learning difficulties. I am very sympathetic with children and make sure I help them develop their communication skills in order to be able to resolve problems better. By talking about our emotions, and expressing our issues verbally I personally find its a great way to help with behavioral issues (in my experience at least).

    Thank you for letting me know though, I was planning on becoming a teacher for young kids until I settle down with a life of my own. Once I have my own kids I want to become a housewife/stay at home mom and put 100% of my energy and love with raising/taking care of them. I don't think I will ever use assertiveness with kids, and I know to some people this is bad and a recipe for me to have my kindness taken advantage of but I dont mind. I want to raise my personal kids in a way where they will come to me on their own and want to talk about problems, and I won't put too many restrictions on them because I read that strict parents usually end up with the most rebellious kids.
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelic View Post
    I won't put too many restrictions on them because I read that strict parents usually end up with the most rebellious kids.
    Kids which were not adopted to have restrictions will not want them later too. So they may ignore the needed behavior, as lesser trained for a selfcontrol. They'll also may have more troubles with other peope, as will need to hold themselves what needs a selfcontrol.

    I think, kids need love. The part of parrents love is to study kids to behave by best ways. This includes to force kids do what they do not like and do not wish to do. Love is expressed as a care. But care is not always pleasant.
    Classical approach to upbring kids is strict control of them. So were rised almost all people of previous generations. Love and compassion feelings help to do not pass the borders where you'd demand too much, without a need. Or would demand what is not good, as a love helps to undersand the human and what is good for him. Also the emotional tuning to other human arises a trust in him to you, so he'd accepted your demands easier and would copy your behavior with higher wish. Emotional contact allows to motivate by positive emotions to follow your requirements to kids. Kids with higher wish will try to do what you demand to get your approval, what is pleasant for them when you love them and hence they love you in return and do what you want.

    What would be wrong is to allow kids to do what they want without limitations, without taking into account the reason, the norms, interests of other people and opinions of authorities. By such way they'll be lesser adopted to live. They need be studed to be people, to be trained to follow the demands of the situation instead of archaic instincts. After some age, a human is harder to accept the skills of reasonable behavior. In the childhood he should get this from parrents and people near. Better from parrents, than later to study in conflicts after he ignored the situation and interests of others. To be too soft will worsen life of the kids, this would be against the love to them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I think, kids need love. The part of parrents love is to study kids to behave by best ways. This includes to force kids do what they do not like and do not wish to do. Love is expressed as a care. But care is not always pleasant.
    I agree 100%
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    I kind of wish I was pushed more as a kid or guided more when I got older in certain respects, but I probably wasn't the easiest either. In one of my classes we had touched on certain types of families and basically how too lenient is bad, and too strict is bad. There basically needs to be a fine balance like most things in life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bouncingoffclouds View Post
    In one of my classes we had touched on certain types of families and basically how too lenient is bad, and too strict is bad. There basically needs to be a fine balance like most things in life.
    Definitely! A reason I respect my mom so much and look up to her so much is that she was somehow able to find that balance. I've always said to myself that I want to raise my kids just like her <3
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    My parents didn't do bad, one thing that stood out to me was some positive reinforcement with a star chart and cleaning our room (I shared a room with my sister, she was much messier, I was actually pretty tidy), to get a sega genesis lol, that was dope. I kind of wish I had more guidance when I got older. I make a point to tell my little sister and nephew to start thinking about what they want to do sooner in life rather than later
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelic View Post
    @Alonzo What would your second choice be for me SEI, EII, or maybe something else?
    First, answer this > can you physically feel/take on/mirror the emotions of others and whatever environment you're apart of, as if their feelings and moods are contagious? Valuing Fe involves being dynamically aware of the "continuous excitations in people's emotional" states, which I interpret as affective/emotional empathy, where brain cells called mirror neurons fire when we sense another’s emotional state, creating an echo of that state inside our own minds.

    To differing extents and degrees, all Fe valuers (E*Es, the most and L*Is, the least) are aware of and in tune with the ambient emotional vibes in others and the environment, though they may have differing facility and competency when it comes to utilizing and responding to this brand of "feedback." If you relate to this, then Alpha and Beta quadra are likely.

    If not, that leaves Delta and Gamma, who prefer Fi cognitive empathy or perspective taking, which concerns one's ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions by way of placing oneself in another's shoes. Those with strong, high D Fi can almost automatically and spontaneously take on another’s perspective while those with low D Fi struggle to do so as quickly and easily.

    The scientific community acknowledges that people access empathy channels differently and that there are those who are great at cognitive empathy but have trouble accessing affective empathy, namely because these two types of empathy are working completely different processing systems.

    In my experience/research/nvestigations, I have found that Gamma and Delta F types don't do affective empathy that well, which is part of the reason why they are often (negatively) perceived as selfish or self focused and refuse to fake or alter their emotional state to appease others, contasted with Fe valuers who can have their feelings more easily moved and swayed by others and the environment, which is fine. It's just that some people may be more genetically hardwired to physically feel the emotions of others.

    So which form of empathy do you cognitively prefer? It can make all the difference in the world when it comes to narrowing down your type options.
    Last edited by Alonzo; 11-02-2019 at 10:35 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    First, answer this > can you physically feel/take on/mirror the emotions of others and whatever environment you're apart of, as if their feelings and moods are contagious? Valuing Fe involves being dynamically aware of the "continuous excitations in people's emotional" states, which I interpret as affective/emotional empathy, where brain cells called mirror neurons fire when we sense another’s emotional state, creating an echo of that state inside our own minds.

    To differing extents and degrees, all Fe valuers (E*Es, the most and L*Is, the least) are aware of and in tune with the ambient emotional vibes in others and the environment, though they may have differing facility and competency when it comes to utilizing and responding to this brand of "feedback." If you relate to this, then Alpha and Beta quadra are likely.

    I try to do this, and I tend to mimic the emotions out of courtesy. Though if I am feeling upset or uncomfortable, its clear to others and they know
    immediately through my voice, or my facial expression. However I feel like I am aware of the overall atmosphere and try to keep it harmonious, because if I sense anyone else feeling discomfort I tend to feel it too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    If not, that leaves Delta and Gamma, who prefer Fi cognitive empathy or perspective taking, which concerns one's ability to identify and understand other people’s emotions by way of placing oneself in another's shoes. Those with strong, high D Fi can almost automatically and spontaneously take on another’s perspective while those with low D Fi struggle to do so as quickly and easily.
    Yes, yes, yes every since I could remember I was able to "put my self in others shoes". I empathize so much to the point where if I see someone cry I feel like crying. I try to understand why the person is feeling that way and try to solve their problem as well as offer unconditional support and love, to ease the initial pain. It is very easy for me to empathize with others, almost all my friends say its one of my strongest qualities.

    Overall I personally definitely lean to cognitive empathy more, though I feel like I utilize both in a group environment.
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