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Thread: You become absolute dictator of your country. What do you do?

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    Default You become absolute dictator of your country. What do you do?

    What I would as God Emperor Muddy:



    -Drastically increase taxes on the rich

    -Implement UBI but with the conditions that you must be enrolled in fitness/life skills programs and be subject to occasional community service/military training if you are unemployed

    -Heavily push automation and make sure those who lose their jobs to automation receive the wealth from it

    -Nationalize all communication services

    -Push nuclear and renewable energies

    -Build bullet-trains like those they got in China and Japan

    -Ban lootboxes and microtransactions in videogames



    That's all I can think of right now.

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    -enslave the population to make goods that can be given away to curry favor and enhance my reputation
    -have zero taxation in order to maximize free markets
    -have ice barriers as a cheap form of defense
    -have a zero carbon emissions policy as a defense policy
    -buy Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo
    -unite Scandinavia via a personal union
    -do surprise invasions of Canada and Russia from the North

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    Seriously though, it sounds like it would suck to be in that position so I don't want it. lol
    Last edited by Aylen; 09-21-2019 at 09:04 PM.

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    I'd suppose realistically, what will be the best for the country in the long-term would be is to make it the most democratic system as possible.

    That will be achieved by:

    1. Democracy is first and foremost, about power. Power that can be easily replaced by another power.

    2. Therefore, criticism of the government should be absolutely guaranteed, and should become one of the highest rights.

    3. Make it easy to identify and replace power and governments.

    4. Promote alternative governments and oppositions.

    5. Promote such a culture of generating both criticisms and new ideas.

    6. If there is no alternative, then it will become dictatorship. And hence, systems should always be kept in mind as if yet-to-be-known hypothetical alternatives exist. There is no such thing as There Is No Alternative.

    7. Everything will be done in the service of defending this democratic ideal, until a better alternative is proposed.

    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    Ban lobbyists.

    Throw out the entire congress. Make elections for both house and senate written statements of issues, and the people would vote on each issue, not for a person or a party, but on the issues themselves, and the state representatives would then not be party representatives but would be required to try to enact the wishes of the people of their state. And salaries would be equal to the mean of the population. So instead of being a way to become rich and well-known, serving in the congress would actually be an act of service.
    Interesting idea, but that seems to create new problems on their own. Like, what is the definition of an "issue", and what constitutes a "success" or a "failure" of the implementation of such "issues"?

    You could say that the congress could become like an "auction", where the people that are effective of implementing "issues" are kept, and those that are ineffective are kicked out.

    But then those that are successful at implementing those "issues" will inevitably need teams, cooperation, alliances, strength by the number, and hence the creation of coalitions and parties will become inevitable, anyway.

    I think that voting for people will be unavoidable, because you need power (of the people) to enact those implementations. Democracy is just about people telling representatives what to do. And those representatives tell bureaucracies what to do. Ideally, anyway. Often times the bureaucrats end up holding more power than the representatives. And it's the bureaucrats who think that they're genuinely selfless and doing genuine good for the society, without having greed for neither power nor money, unlike politicians or business persons.

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    The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

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    Give myself a billion dollars and retire.

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    A few years ago, I probably would have supported a more muscular economic nationalism, with extensive and permanent tariffs on foreign goods.

    But I think it would be better for government to reinvest in dying industries in order to help them become more competitive. Factories can be redesigned for changing needs (or products) and new supply chains created.

    China isn't just a popular manufacturing destination because of cheap labour. Its manufacturing regions contain hubs of closely connected industries that source from each other locally, meaning that production schedules, product designs and specifications can flip on a dime in order to meet changing demands.

    China did employ tariffs to achieve this, as less advanced countries have to resort to in order to stay competitive, but there was also extensive investment from its centralized (Stalinist) economy. For capital-rich countries like the United States, it's probably easier to adapt than sacrifice economic efficiency (or create a diplomatic incident) by blocking trade.

    Government sponsored worker retraining programs are also a must, and the stigma against older people going to back to school should be buried.
    Last edited by xerx; 09-22-2019 at 03:06 AM.

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    I'll probably end up losing my shit rather rapidly from the stress, power, and burden, and start having purges before isolating all my allies, turning them against me leading to my death by either assassination or execution from an internal coup.

    I would essentially be like Francisco Franco, Engelbert Dollfus, or Chiang Kai-shek, before I lose it and turn into Joseph Stalin.

    Alternatively, if I don't lose my shit, I'll undoubtedly get sick of it rather quickly and pull a Cincinnatus and resign, except taking a lot of money with me and ensuring my most loyal cronies took power in my stead, maybe just make myself king and maintain a permanent position of power and privilege without having to actually do much of anything.

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    Ideally, I wouldn't be. I wanted to be one when I was 17, now I'd rather avoid anything slightly political.
    I suppose I would just ban all the things I dislike and patronize the arts and the Church. I'd want live more like an enlightened despot.

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    Rebuild the country from its founding principles. Anyone that disagrees can cut potatoes in the backroom

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    Well first of all what a fucking terrible game start location.


    i would become a dragon, so yeah id rather not

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    Institute a ministry of culture to ensure movies and TV are of a certain caliber. And dissolve Hollywood. No more superhero movies, no more YA dystopian movies, no more action movies, particularly the variety with attractive, strong female protagonists with a male sidekick they berate and shitty attempts at humor. All that goes. Audiences have clearly indicated A) they don't know what's best for them and B) they're idiots, so it'll be up to me to force culture and taste down their throats.



    More seriously, beyond that, rent control. Rent control. Rent control. More heavy regulation of housing. Rent control. Seize state (and possibly private -- I am dictator, after all!) universities, summarily execute every member of the administration who's voted for a significant tuition cost increase since, oh, 1985, and put them under state control, with free or cheap tuition costs. All business colleges will be abolished. Professors will not be allowed to mention Marx in a classroom unless they've read something of his besides the Manifesto. Seize hospitals and do something similar as with universities: state-subsidized healthcare for all. Mandate that health insurance companies release all debts without reimbursement. Then look into lower education. Summarily execute school administrators and seize their property. Institute a literacy test for teachers -- they shan't be able to continue teaching or get hired unless they can actually write legible English. Prohibit football and forbid any sport program with a budget of over, say, $300 per player or something sensible, adjusted for inflation. Work to create a better system than the travesty we have now. There are so many things wrong with it I wouldn't know where to begin listing them.

    Summarily execute anyone who voted for the Iraq War. Execute all living Presidents, perhaps besides Carter because he seems a decent fellow. Invest in nuclear power and jump at any excuse to attack fossil fuel industries and nationalize their assets. Nationalize telecommunications. Continue the tariffs against China. Hike taxes on plastic. Ban plastic straws.
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 09-23-2019 at 10:24 PM.

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    kill myself

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    Relinquish all power and make an anarchy. To the extent I can do what I should, I don't need institutional power, and to the extent I have institutional power, I'm liable to overstep what I should do.

    The gap between saying this like it's that simple and acting it because it's true in real life already yawns menacingly.

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    Reform school system, invest in public transport, make elderly care and child care affordable, pay nurses, and other jobs nobody wants to do, more, educate people on finance, economy and politics, implement direct democracy similar to switzerland.

    Fine people who chew with an open mouth for no reason.
    Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 09-24-2019 at 02:59 PM. Reason: Added 'with'

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    Adopt distributist policies. Recognise the importance of family as a unit and Christian values (note: values, not faith) in our constitution. Abolish Swedish public service media entirely. Keep the taxes high, but only spend them on direct welfare - not social engineering or public art projects. Stop immigration entirely temporarily until we have more control of the current situation. Once that is done, focus primarily on international aid followed by moderate immigration policies favouring integration and some degree of cultural assimilation. Work to eliminate imported Islamic patriarchal structures. Allow midwives to opt out of performing abortions for personal morality reasons, also inform women that abortion is not the only option. Make drastic improvements to the welfare and care of our elderly, handicapped, sick, weak and otherwise unable. Work towards allowing universities total freedom from state, religious and business intervention. Encourage free speech, open and uncensored debate. Work towards net neutrality and everyone's right to privacy. Leave EU. Some form of (non-violent) environmental revolution is definitely called for too.

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    all you need is some sort of higher qualification for eligibility to vote to make democracy work. if I was king though I would take it pretty far and set the bar at the PhD education level. secular elitarianism would steamroll all opposition on that basis and we'd be able to quickly move on to important matters, such as determining which stratum of the underclass to withold from mating, which to sterilize, euthanize, which to replace with synthetic lifeforms, etc, etc. it'd be a pretty glorious gene pool after 50 years I tell you.
    forsitan mea potentia increvit nimis

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    I probably wouldn't create a two-tier system of citizenship where only "smart" people (based on IQ tests?) are allowed to vote. Being intelligent doesn't make you any less corrupt, self-interested, or narcissistic. Each of the aforementioned makes you worse at your job as someone with the voting power to shape other people's lives.

    The only essential quality for citizens to have is the ability to sacrifice their own self-interest for the interests of the group as a whole. If we're going down the path of circumscribing our system of citizenship, then it should be moral qualities that determine whether or not someone has the right to vote, hold elected office, or hold a non-trivial corporate job.

    (Yes, I'm channeling Robert Heinlein. Look him up―a pretty intelligent reactionary.)
    Last edited by xerx; 10-04-2019 at 01:50 AM.

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    dictator can't sit on throne of bayonets, dictator will die sooner or later. you wanna know who was a dictator? qaddafi. and how he died? someone stuck a combat knife in his bumhole.

    if I become dictator, first thing I will do is turn myself from dictator to monarch.

    dictator is backed by guns, monarch is backed by god.

    dictator has no heir, monarch has a son (if not, just steal one that looks like you.)

    dictator has a party, monarch has a country.

    dictator has slaves, monarch has subjects.

    when you are monarch you can do what you want, eventually - but first you need to build nuclear arsenal. without nuclear arsenal, you have to follow party line of Hollywood & Wall Street, in other words you will not be dictator or monarch, just satellite of US financial and cultural interests. but when you get the big bomb, you can do what you like: and nobody can fuck with you.
    CETERUM AUTEM CENSEO WASHINGTON D.C. ESSE DELENDAM

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    Quote Originally Posted by Santa Claus View Post
    The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
    Just retire them
    -
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    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Just retire them

    “There is many a monster who wears the form of a man; it is better of the two to have the heart of a man and the form of a monster. ” - Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont

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    OK, FINE.

    *I guess* I'll answer this question "seriously."

    If I was dictator,

    I would rule over the lands and grasp my beard as I plan my Ti-thoughts,

    As I gaze over my majestic kingdom, I plunge deep into Ni-thought, pondering how my HIDDEN AGENDA will unfold over time and reach the depths of humanity~~~

    ***THIS STRESSES ME OUT. *** But it's okay!!

    I'll have my IEI and EIE concubines fan me with fig leaves, telling me how smart and handsome I am, giving me the Fe I crave, but frankly, mostly benefit by seeing them dance around with very little clothing:



    Hell, and while we're at it, throw in some LSI concubines as well, @squark, @Myst. (Note: I use them only sparingly. For instance, when I want to be hand-fed ripe, delicious grapes. After all, *they are* "aggressors")

    Additionally,

    As a ruthless king,

    I WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED;

    My SEE jesters arrive to perform tricks and tell stupid jokes,

    but only to DISTRACT THE PUBLIC FROM MY REAL PLAN...

    EXTERMINATING the population or ENSLAVING them into the next generation???


    Though I am torn between the two decisions,

    I will have the counsel of three wise Te/Fi advisors whisper their cold-blooded facts/data into my ear. Sometimes I refer to them as drones... It's like all they do is sit around and spit facts out all day long. I guess I need them?...So I chuckle, pretending like their facts/data/evidence *ACTUALLY* matters (heh).

    BUT, in all seriousness. They will assist me in:

    1.Determining whether it's more efficient (Te) to wipe everyone out or have them cut potatoes in the back dungeon with some psychotic IEEs, and

    2.Whether it's ethical (Fi) to force anyone to cut potatoes with some psychotic IEEs.

    In cases of rebellion,

    I will have my SLE jedi-ninjas pop out from the shadows and swiftly kill any REBEL SCUM with the USE OF THE FORRRRRCE (Se)
    Last edited by Computer Loser; 09-26-2019 at 07:00 PM.

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    If I were given the chance to become a dictator, I would weep with disappointment. What I desperately, desperately want to be is not a mere dictator but a god. Nevertheless, I would utilize what power I was given. I would have some money printed off for me--as much money as I wanted for me to do with whatever I wish. Then I would start a special nationwide contest. Attractive males all across the country would stand before me and answer a slew of questions. I don't know what the questions would be, except they would tell me whether a given male was a strong candidate for being my romantic partner. Eventually I would find the one. Aside from that, I would:

    -Create some policies intended to combat climate change.
    -See to it that more money was devoted to the advancement of technology.
    -Make most recreational drugs legal, even though I do not personally have any desire to use them.
    -Mostly let the government continue to run as usual, except I would have the power to step in and terminate or initiate any policy.

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    Simple. I issue an ultimatum. I tell the world that my new and glorious kingdom is one dedicated to the one true God. Entrance into it is very simple, for I am a loving/magnanimous dictator who loves all sentient beings who wish to become members of "my" people. I ask very little for this IMO, for ye must simply profess that Jesus is the Christ and God has risen him from the dead.

    Furthermore, for I am not an idiot, I ask you prove that you meant those words through your actions and deeds. Sounds easy, yes, but it really isn't. The followers of Satan can talk and even act a good game and all, but pretty much all of them with any potential would slip up on step one. I mean seriously folks, it shouldn't be all that hard to pass a Witch Test yet I bet you solid money if I put some random wannabe immigrants on camera and backed that up with a certified scribe to make a transcript you'd be shocked at how many would rather run the other way than profess a false faith in Christ with the obvious caveat that oh yes, we will be checking up on that whole "works" front fucko.

    Hence, that little test is all the wall my nation will ever need. So long as we ensure anyone trying to cross my border takes it that is. So I may well still need a physical barricade, but the spiritual dimension of it would still be largely unaffected. It's a big mystery to me really. I mean, if all it takes to defeat your opponent in a most significant way is to just utter an obvious and sarcastic lie from your perspective than why not do it? If your sworn enemy is offering you their neck why not execute on the decapitation?

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    Exterminate LIIs.

    Exterminate old rich white men.

    Free college.

    Use clean energy.

    The End!
    ・゚*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:・゚

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    I'd give myself a big fat bonus large enough to retire immediately. Why would I waste the precious time of my life being an absolute dictator? I have no need to boss other people around, and neither do I feel the need to lead them into better lives. If I see what political parties most people vote and how they shoot themselves in the foot doing that, I feel absolutely no need to take any responsibility upon my shoulders, they can go fuck themselves.

    I just want to live life enjoying it without much fuss. All I need is a hammock, a bottle of wine and sunny weather. And a chorizo sausage.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    Exterminate LIIs.
    Lol. What's the benefit of that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    Lol. What's the benefit of that?
    Less useless nitpicking and party pooping.

    Jk lol
    ・゚*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:・゚

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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    Less useless nitpicking and party pooping.

    Jk lol
    Ok... btw. my nitpicking is constructive, and I don't spoil parties of other people.

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    I would outlaw abortion, tube socks, and pornography. These won't be actively sought out for punishment, but they can't be acquired legally (except in the case of tube socks, which require a special license).
    If a person is caught with pornography, it will be confiscated and/or deleted and they will be fined for unlawful possession. If a person is consistently found to be in possession of pornography, they can be fined a maximum of once per month for this offense. All fines for possession of pornography will go into a separate account to be used to help single mothers provide for their children.

    Hard drugs like methamphetamine will be illegal and anyone found in possession of such will have it confiscated and, if shown to have used it, will be subject to a period of rehabilitation. Anyone caught trying to sell such substances will have their thumbs cut off or something.
    Soft drugs like marijuana will be treated like alcohol and tobacco: legal to people over 21 with mandatory warning labels and excessively taxed.

    I would make marriage no longer a government institution. Marriage will be a religious institution, and instead of marriage licenses there will be union licenses, which would have similar legal effects but aren't about marriage. Also gay marriage will not be recognized.

    I would make up several bizarre national holidays and get rid of the national-month stuff, 'cause a whole month for something is just ridiculous. Take a week if you must.
    I would make the next census include a question asking whether someone is a cat person, a dog person, both, or neither.

    I would greatly increase the number of refugees and immigrants we accept and look into possibly simplifying the process to citizenship.

    And finally, I would reinstitute states' rights, drastically diminishing my power and that of the national government. This also means no government bailouts or favoritism. The national government is in charge of international affairs and conflicts between states. Matters of education, economy, and law enforcement are for the states to decide. They can even overturn my ruling on drugs if they want. And they can choose to get rid of the TSA - that would be nice of them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I would outlaw abortion, tube socks, and pornography. These won't be actively sought out for punishment, but they can't be acquired legally (except in the case of tube socks, which require a special license).
    If a person is caught with pornography, it will be confiscated and/or deleted and they will be fined for unlawful possession. If a person is consistently found to be in possession of pornography, they can be fined a maximum of once per month for this offense. All fines for possession of pornography will go into a separate account to be used to help single mothers provide for their children.

    Hard drugs like methamphetamine will be illegal and anyone found in possession of such will have it confiscated and, if shown to have used it, will be subject to a period of rehabilitation. Anyone caught trying to sell such substances will have their thumbs cut off or something.
    Soft drugs like marijuana will be treated like alcohol and tobacco: legal to people over 21 with mandatory warning labels and excessively taxed.

    I would make marriage no longer a government institution. Marriage will be a religious institution, and instead of marriage licenses there will be union licenses, which would have similar legal effects but aren't about marriage. Also gay marriage will not be recognized.

    I would make up several bizarre national holidays and get rid of the national-month stuff, 'cause a whole month for something is just ridiculous. Take a week if you must.
    I would make the next census include a question asking whether someone is a cat person, a dog person, both, or neither.

    I would greatly increase the number of refugees and immigrants we accept and look into possibly simplifying the process to citizenship.

    And finally, I would reinstitute states' rights, drastically diminishing my power and that of the national government. This also means no government bailouts or favoritism. The national government is in charge of international affairs and conflicts between states. Matters of education, economy, and law enforcement are for the states to decide. They can even overturn my ruling on drugs if they want. And they can choose to get rid of the TSA - that would be nice of them.
    Delta hell

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Delta hell
    Was thinking the same thing. I wouldn’t step foot in that country.
    ・゚*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:・゚

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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    Was thinking the same thing. I wouldn’t step foot in that country.
    Who would?! Hey, my rule would be absolute, dictatorial, and somewhat bloody, but it would tangibly improve people's lives! With Abbie, her idea seems to be making people's lives worse in favor of some abstract personal ideals she holds. Can you imagine what sort of person would want to live under her rule (besides Deltas, I mean)? And I like how, once you get beyond her making her moral values into draconian laws, her most daring proposition is to allow individual states to not use the TSA. Not get rid of this colossal waste of money and time herself; no, in her benevolence, she'll allow states to vote it out of existence. LMAO.

    (@Director Abbie, mentioning you so that you don't feel we're talking behind your back.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by coeruleum View Post
    Relinquish all power and make an anarchy. To the extent I can do what I should, I don't need institutional power, and to the extent I have institutional power, I'm liable to overstep what I should do.

    The gap between saying this like it's that simple and acting it because it's true in real life already yawns menacingly.
    Anarchy doesnt work

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    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Not get rid of this colossal waste of money and time herself; no, in her benevolence, she'll allow states to vote it out of existence.
    Well, I would have gotten rid of it altogether, but by the time I remembered it existed I had already taken away my power, so it was like, "Oh yeah, you who have the power now - how about getting rid of that?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Delta hell
    I know right? Banning tube socks smh

  37. #37
    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    I know right? Banning tube socks smh
    They're not real socks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I would outlaw abortion, tube socks, and pornography. These won't be actively sought out for punishment, but they can't be acquired legally (except in the case of tube socks, which require a special license).
    If a person is caught with pornography, it will be confiscated and/or deleted and they will be fined for unlawful possession. If a person is consistently found to be in possession of pornography, they can be fined a maximum of once per month for this offense. All fines for possession of pornography will go into a separate account to be used to help single mothers provide for their children.

    Hard drugs like methamphetamine will be illegal and anyone found in possession of such will have it confiscated and, if shown to have used it, will be subject to a period of rehabilitation. Anyone caught trying to sell such substances will have their thumbs cut off or something.
    Soft drugs like marijuana will be treated like alcohol and tobacco: legal to people over 21 with mandatory warning labels and excessively taxed.

    I would make marriage no longer a government institution. Marriage will be a religious institution, and instead of marriage licenses there will be union licenses, which would have similar legal effects but aren't about marriage. Also gay marriage will not be recognized.

    I would make up several bizarre national holidays and get rid of the national-month stuff, 'cause a whole month for something is just ridiculous. Take a week if you must.
    I would make the next census include a question asking whether someone is a cat person, a dog person, both, or neither.

    I would greatly increase the number of refugees and immigrants we accept and look into possibly simplifying the process to citizenship.

    And finally, I would reinstitute states' rights, drastically diminishing my power and that of the national government. This also means no government bailouts or favoritism. The national government is in charge of international affairs and conflicts between states. Matters of education, economy, and law enforcement are for the states to decide. They can even overturn my ruling on drugs if they want. And they can choose to get rid of the TSA - that would be nice of them.
    Everything but the stance on soft drugs and immigration and you got my vote for supreme leader

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    Tube Sock Day, shit yeah.

    Then, schedule a buttload of interviews. I feel like I could do a good job of choosing a good Supreme Leader, but not at being them.

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    everyone gets a goat bc goats are always good
    “You are a little soul carrying around a corpse.”
    - Epictetus


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