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Thread: [NSFW] Power Dynamics (Domination, Submissiveness) in the Bedroom

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    Default [NSFW] Power Dynamics (Domination, Submissiveness) in the Bedroom

    Some folks seem to have suggested that this entails Ni/Se, whereas mu4 suggests otherwise..

    Sex is ultimately primal and many sexual fetishes develop from the unconscious and these are not ego driven. Also many super-ego experiences are often experienced privately especially in the context of a intimate relations these do not expose us to the social criticism that individuals may want to avoid and many patterns of thought are formed to rationalizes these experiences, good and bad.
    What's your take on people who like to be dominant or submissive [in the bedroom]? Is it type-related in some ways?

    EII-INFj / INFP / 4w5 5w4 9w1

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    I like BDSM both ways. I'm not Ni/Se valuing. Make of that what you will.

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    I'm very versatile. =p

    A few years ago it was said that Betas are the type to embellish and talk a bigger game than what we actually like (like during phone sex we can get super nasty but then in real life we just want something more vanilla and nice), and in contrast, Deltas are more the people who go to Church every Sunday and not talk about sex at all in public but then behind closed doors enjoy something more realistically rough & sadistic. Idk, ime this kinda has some truth to it.

    'if its not rough its not fun' I kind of agree, tho im not that big on roughness, maybe more like intensity. Also play rudeness and non-PCness are huge turns on for me personally but ... let's not go into TMI ville. You all are like brothers and sisters to me here, its not really erotic. hehe. I've said it before tho, I think gay pornography needs to be way, way less PC and more silly like str8 porn. Some scenes in the 90s and early 2000s were really hot but nowadays its just too tame and boring to even be arousing. But yeah , I suppose I'm a typical pervy Beta and I need something with more oomph to be turned on compared to most people- but OTOH (and I think I'm gravely misunderstood with this one) I strongly know how to separate 'fantasy' from 'reality'.

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    It's immoral.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    A few years ago it was said that Betas are the type to embellish and talk a bigger game than what we actually like (like during phone sex we can get super nasty but then in real life we just want something more vanilla and nice), and in contrast, Deltas are more the people who go to Church every Sunday and not talk about sex at all in public but then behind closed doors enjoy something more realistically rough & sadistic. Idk, ime this kinda has some truth to it.
    EII-INFj / INFP / 4w5 5w4 9w1

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    Quote Originally Posted by andreasdevig View Post
    Some folks seem to have suggested that this entails Ni/Se
    the 1st "folk" to describe this specifically for sex was Gulenko. it follows from model A and ego - superid traits
    it's a predisposition. attitudes and behavior more expressed at some types

    S types are more assured in physical part

    Se is about body control. "you are mine"
    Si is about sensations control. "I'll make you pleasant"
    Ni is "take me"
    Ne is "make me pleasant"

    > Is it type-related in some ways?

    difference between S/N is in all physical. sex is an example region

    "Sex is ultimately primal and many sexual fetishes develop from the unconscious and these are not ego driven."

    In Jung's types ego and superid represent parts of consciousness and unconsciousness. So it's types related.
    There are Se superid types which like phycially assured conquers with Se ego and are Si superid people which like to be physically cared by others in sensual ways. While Se and Si ego are attracted to people which seek strong traits which are in them.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    I always thought Se liked rough and Si liked soft.

    Like Se likes the battle of wills.

    and Si likes the sensations of touch.

    So one was raunchy and one was sensual.

    Maybe my brain is broken but I do not understand the appeal of rough play, slapping and chocking etc etc. It just sounds/looks painful.

    I'm Si valuing so make what you will with that.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 08-29-2019 at 11:50 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    Si is about sensations control. "I'll make you pleasant"
    You mean "I'll please you"? Or do you mean "I'll make you pleasant to look at"?

    @Lord Pixel Not necessarily too rough or raunchy, my brother. It can be psychological. There doesn't necessarily have to be a lot of physical pain involved.
    EII-INFj / INFP / 4w5 5w4 9w1

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    Honestly, psychological dominance makes way more sense to me as a turn on than physical rough power plays.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I always thought Se liked rough and Si liked soft.

    Like Se likes the battle of wills.

    and Si likes the sensations of touch.

    So one was raunchy and one was sensual.

    Maybe my brain is broken but I do not understand the appeal of rough play, slapping and chocking etc etc. It just sounds/looks painful.

    I'm Si valuing so make what you will with that.
    It’s not about the pain itself but the psychic and emotional vulnerability and vividiry pain causes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    It’s not about the pain itself but the psychic and emotional vulnerability and vividiry pain causes.
    Like I said, my brain is probably broken, because I don't derive any sort of physical, psychological, or emotional pleasure from pain.

    Pain is, "Ow, stop doing that, gth off me."
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 09-01-2019 at 04:13 AM.

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    Seems Ni Se valuing more than Si Ne which is more tender, caring like a parent child kinda thing rather than a "rapist/victim" or dom sub theme

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    I like BDSM both ways. I'm not Ni/Se valuing. Make of that what you will.
    My ESE friend has a bedroom full of sex toys including BDSM stuff. There are def Si and control stuff going on there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Seems Ni Se valuing more than Si Ne which is more tender, caring like a parent child kinda thing rather than a "rapist/victim" or dom sub theme
    True.

    Sol did post a picture of a young woman getting spanked like a bad girl - shadow parent child dynamic? Teaching the infantile a lesson?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Honestly, psychological dominance makes way more sense to me as a turn on than physical rough power plays.

    I'm the total opposite as this statement.

    I was seeing this guy a few years ago who played these psychological head games and it was fucking hell on Earth. One time I rushed him and pushed him down and was going down on him and he FREAKED out and made me feel totally awkward and wrong... this was the total reverse opposite reaction as my good ex would have had so there was def some very incompatible chemistry going on. Our time together was the worst and most scarring interplay I've ever been through.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    True.

    Sol did post a picture of a young woman getting spanked like a bad girl - shadow parent child dynamic? Teaching the infantile a lesson?
    @Sol, thoughts on your sexual desires?

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    I'm the total opposite as this statement.

    I was seeing this guy a few years ago who played these psychological head games and it was fucking hell on Earth. One time I rushed him and pushed him down and was going down on him and he FREAKED out and made me feel totally awkward and wrong... this was the total reverse opposite reaction as my good ex would have had so there was def some very incompatible chemistry going on. Our time together was the worst and most scarring interplay I've ever been through.
    That sounds really bizarre and beyond the realm of a lack of sexual chemistry. Do you think how he acted was intentional?

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    I tend to be dominant, but not in a way that is related to bondage, discipline, or sado-masochism. It's more like, "I want this now".

    I didn't realize I did this before, but my latest GF said that I rearrange her on the bed. I mean, she's right, I do that, but I didn't actually realize I was doing it. In other words, if you'd have asked me, "Do you move your GF around on the bed?", I'd have said No.

    Weird. I may be a Victim, but I'm sx-first and I have an urge to merge. Maybe I'm too enthusiastic sometimes. Dunno.

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    sharing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    True.

    Sol did post a picture of a young woman getting spanked like a bad girl - shadow parent child dynamic? Teaching the infantile a lesson?
    Hm id still hint more at se ni,that being said sol being fe valuing is pretty likely (maybe lsi?)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I tend to be dominant, but not in a way that is related to bondage, discipline, or sado-masochism. It's more like, "I want this now".

    I didn't realize I did this before, but my latest GF said that I rearrange her on the bed. I mean, she's right, I do that, but I didn't actually realize I was doing it. In other words, if you'd have asked me, "Do you move your GF around on the bed?", I'd have said No.

    Weird. I may be a Victim, but I'm sx-first and I have an urge to merge. Maybe I'm too enthusiastic sometimes. Dunno.
    Yeah or ur se ego

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Hm id still hint more at se ni,that being said sol being fe valuing is pretty likely (maybe lsi?)

    Keeping it in this context as it stands there is nothing unusual about a LSE wanting to play Daddy/ Mommy. Its actually within the realm of normality for them. "Right to correction" in the parent infantile dynamic.

    For an example look at Hulk Hogan, LSE, to see the bossy controllingness. Shout out to K4m for this correct typing.

    See you are still equating physical control as always and only Se. It's not at all.

    Se has more of a possessive vibe instead of a controlling one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    Keeping it in this context as it stands there is nothing unusual about a LSE wanting to play Daddy/ Mommy. Its actually within the realm of normality for them. "Right to correction" in the parent infantile dynamic.

    For an example look at Hulk Hogan, LSE, to see the bossy controllingness. Shout out to K4m for this correct typing.

    See you are still equating physical control as always and only Se. It's not at all.

    Se has more of a possessive vibe instead of a controlling one.
    Hogan is not LSE lol. If u want LSE take dr Phil for example

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    @Sol, thoughts on your sexual desires?
    I joked. Not my prefered style.
    In case of dealing with Ni/Se valued women, if she likes something I'll try to tune to this. We'd found some compromise.

    and that my post was mostly not about sex
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I joked. Not my prefered style.
    In case of dealing with Ni/Se valued women, if she likes something I'll try to tune to this. We'd found some compromise.

    and that my post was mostly not about sex
    You're awfully fun when you joke.

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    I knew an LII who liked to dress up as a cat and crawl around on the floor. Also, bondage.

    (but, *lots* of alphas like bondage, apparently. more later... )

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    I knew an LII who liked to dress up as a cat and crawl around on the floor. Also, bondage.

    (but, *lots* of alphas like bondage, apparently. more later... )
    Is that actually an Alpha thing?! Well, that explains a lot.

    Out of curiosity, was the LII a guy or guyette?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lemontrees View Post
    I knew an LII who liked to dress up as a cat and crawl around on the floor. Also, bondage.

    (but, *lots* of alphas like bondage, apparently. more later... )
    I walked into my LII sister’s apartment bedroom when she was in grad school (in chem) and there was a pair of handcuffs clipped to one of her bedposts. I would never have suspected that she was into that, because that kind of activity never crossed my own mind.

    (I prefer that the bonds between me and my partner be in the imagination.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    I'm the total opposite as this statement.

    I was seeing this guy a few years ago who played these psychological head games and it was fucking hell on Earth. One time I rushed him and pushed him down and was going down on him and he FREAKED out and made me feel totally awkward and wrong... this was the total reverse opposite reaction as my good ex would have had so there was def some very incompatible chemistry going on. Our time together was the worst and most scarring interplay I've ever been through.
    That does sound kinda crappy. Well I guess it's not for everyone.

    I love knowing someone wants something from me and teasing like I'm gonna give it to them, but not yet, it creates an excitement before they actually get the thing, and I love controlling that psychological excitement, getting so close but not close enough, controlling how much the desire grows, I see no harm since the person is gonna get what they want but it will be in a mkre exciting and satisfying way. I also love being unpredictable and making the person feel like they don't know what I'm gonna do next, once again it's exciting. That's the kind of psychological dominance that makes sense to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I joked. Not my prefered style.
    In case of dealing with Ni/Se valued women, if she likes something I'll try to tune to this. We'd found some compromise.

    and that my post was mostly not about sex
    Lair.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    That does sound kinda crappy. Well I guess it's not for everyone.

    I love knowing someone wants something from me and teasing like I'm gonna give it to them, but not yet, it creates an excitement before they actually get the thing, and I love controlling that psychological excitement, getting so close but not close enough, controlling how much the desire grows, I see no harm since the person is gonna get what they want but it will be in a mkre exciting and satisfying way. I also love being unpredictable and making the person feel like they don't know what I'm gonna do next, once again it's exciting. That's the kind of psychological dominance that makes sense to me.
    This sort of thing really makes me think IEE. Controlling the distance-closeness in a way that only sees the end goal internally. Hidden potentials as they relate to relational ethics. Making it unpredictable and uncertainty are things that SLI could handle.

    This is also the sort of thing that I purposely avoid and all guys who demonstrate these types of behaviours I will shut out and avoid almost immediately. Its flakey to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Hogan is not LSE lol. If u want LSE take dr Phil for example
    I typed Gordan Ramsay LSE as well. K4 borrowed my idea and claimed he came up with it. Did that a number of times with my typings over the years.

    Anyway, k4 also typed Stone Cold Steve Austin as LSE and I agree with him.

    Watch Steve Austin in interviews, the whole red neck trailer trash stick is basically the shadow clipped wings of delta-land. In reality Steve owns some Ranches. He has the controlling Te type with low intuition occurring.

    Dr Phil deals with extroverted ethics though, dude. He is always trying to align people with how to be better functioning members of society. This is not a Delta ST thematic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    This sort of thing really makes me think IEE. Controlling the distance-closeness in a way that only sees the end goal internally. Hidden potentials as they relate to relational ethics. Making it unpredictable and uncertainty are things that SLI could handle.

    This is also the sort of thing that I purposely avoid and all guys who demonstrate these types of behaviours I will shut out and avoid almost immediately. Its flakey to me.
    Well I'm EII so that makes sense. I do notice Se egos see Ne behaviors as "flaky" "weird" and "playing games" because they want things to be direct and not hidden and all that, but idk, there's no excitement in it for me without a build up and just getting straight to the point, it's like a fire is being extinguished.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    I typed Gordan Ramsay LSE as well. K4 borrowed my idea and claimed he came up with it. Did that a number of times with my typings over the years.

    Anyway, k4 also typed Stone Cold Steve Austin as LSE and I agree with him.

    Watch Steve Austin in interviews, the whole red neck trailer trash stick is basically the shadow clipped wings of delta-land. In reality Steve owns some Ranches. He has the controlling Te type with low intuition occurring.

    Dr Phil deals with extroverted ethics though, dude. He is always trying to align people with how to be better functioning members of society. This is not a Delta ST thematic.
    Ramsey is SEE, and doctor Phil is LSE, the whole redneck shtick fits beta ST more than Delta. get your facts straight

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Is that actually an Alpha thing?! Well, that explains a lot.

    Out of curiosity, was the LII a guy or guyette?
    he was a guy.

    i've known several alphas into it. also, one time, i asked an ILE friend if he had single friends. he knows socionics and just assumed i wanted to date alpha. anyway, his response was, "how do you feel about board games and guys who got their boy scout badge in tying knots"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Ramsey is SEE, and doctor Phil is LSE, the whole redneck shtick fits beta ST more than Delta. get your facts straight
    Alright I'm going to get involved in a conversation about rednecks.

    For a starting point, I'm using this video as a extreme example of Red necks as it stands in Delta.

    The thing to know first is that I consider redneck culture to be a vast catch all. Meaning there are all kinds and it looks different in different countries and even in different parts of countries. This video is one such example of rednecks in the south and in this case these are DELTA STs. This Father son combo is a LSE identical pair. Holden the kid is a SLI.


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    TBH I just like cuddling. Any kind of suddenness or weirdness bothers me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timber View Post
    Alright I'm going to get involved in a conversation about rednecks.

    For a starting point, I'm using this video as a extreme example of Red necks as it stands in Delta.

    The thing to know first is that I consider redneck culture to be a vast catch all. Meaning there are all kinds and it looks different in different countries and even in different parts of countries. This video is one such example of rednecks in the south and in this case these are DELTA STs. This Father son combo is a LSE identical pair. Holden the kid is a SLI.

    okay believe what you want bitch

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    I don't get sex toys like handcuffs or whips or wtv, like, can't you use a rope to tie yourself, a bat to whip, a necklace to stuff your holes with. like, use your Ne some more?

    yeah perhaps it's Ni-Se stuff

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    on the other hand, I was thinking how sex recreates the kind of mentality we live in everyday life, Ne-Si be a self satisfactory mindset = "I can't get any better than this, I have all that I need", probably stemming from an overly careful relationship with the caretakers during childhood. Ni-Se mindset instead be like= "I don't have what I want, I want more", probably the result of a lack of desired cares during childhood.

    sexuality should reflect greatly the kind of cares we experienced when we were lil kids, it's the kind of satisfaction we find more natural and pampering.

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