Results 1 to 26 of 26

Thread: Counterphobic 6s

  1. #1
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Counterphobic 6s

    What are their general relationship traits?
    Also, what flavour would cp 6 give an IEE?

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  2. #2
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Dunno about the IEE part, but counterphobic descriptions are here: https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/six-stacks/

  3. #3
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTP 7w8
    Posts
    2,947
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    6 is LSI IEE is 3

  4. #4
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Wdym?

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  5. #5
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Not many IEE's identify as enneagram 6's. Almost none, in fact.

  6. #6
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Well that doesn't cancel out the fact that there ARE IEE 6s, right? This IEE I know is definitely a 6w7.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  7. #7
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Most IEE's self-identify as e7's. Maybe she's a 7w6?

    I haven't met an IEE yet who isn't up for traveling at a moment's notice. Some display the lack of faith in authority that comes with being an e6 (and get labeled as SJW), but most are primarily fixated on their Ne - "anywhere but here, anything but what's in front of me" e7-ness.

  8. #8
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    He's without a doubt, a 6w7. He has a lot of anxiety going to new places or places far away from where he lives, he would rather go to the same places he goes to but experience new things there. He is very anxious about security and whether it's safe to do this but can also be very in your face and cause fights when threatened. He constantly seeks advice from his dad when things go wrong and has a preoccupation with self defense. He wants to learn archery (just in case he can't use a gun in a situation lol) and says he likes routine. He goes to the gym a lot and wants to build muscle. He has trust issues with me, as we recently started dating, and his trust issues extend to other people as well.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  9. #9
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shytan View Post
    He's without a doubt, a 6w7. He has a lot of anxiety going to new places or places far away from where he lives, he would rather go to the same places he goes to but experience new things there. He is very anxious about security and whether it's safe to do this but can also be very in your face and cause fights when threatened. He constantly seeks advice from his dad when things go wrong and has a preoccupation with self defense. He wants to learn archery (just in case he can't use a gun in a situation lol) and says he likes routine. He goes to the gym a lot and wants to build muscle. He has trust issues with me, as we recently started dating, and his trust issues extend to other people as well.
    Yes, that does sound like a counter-phobic 6. How sure are you that he is IEE?

    Among the self-identified male e6's, most are either SEI, SLI, or ESI. If you get along well with him, could he be an ESI? I see lots and lots of EII's with ESI's, but usually as friends.

    If he is an e6w7 ESI, then his trust issues will probably never go away, but might lessen with more experience with you.

  10. #10
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    He's most definitely my Mirror. I've been around enough IEEs to know one.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  11. #11
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Then he's a rare combination of socio- and ennea-type. I don't think I've ever encountered one of these, and I've never seen anything written on this combination. I suppose it's possible, though. It's just hard for me to imagine a person like that.

    What, exactly, are you wondering about? I know a few e6's, and even two e6w7's (both ESI, one male and one female) and I know a female IEE-Ne and a female IEE-Fi.

    *EDIT*
    I also remembered that I slightly know one male IEE. He's a retired school teacher and is into model trains. He hosts a train society's annual New Year's meeting. He never married and has three or four cats in an incredibly neat house. I don't know much more about him than that, other than that he's not a counter-phobic 6.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-20-2019 at 01:43 PM.

  12. #12
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Spiritus Mundi
    TIM
    psyche 4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,903
    Mentioned
    891 Post(s)
    Tagged
    42 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Not many IEE's identify as enneagram 6's. Almost none, in fact.
    6w7 is called "The Buddy" so I don't see why not. I have seen people post weirder and rarer combinations like EII 8 (maybe a core 2) or ILI 7 (which is probably a core 5 in disintegration). The 6 integration point is 9 and disintegration is 3.
    @Raver is a 6. Not sure of his wing. IEE SLI-Te duals are supposed to be pretty stable people so it would be a good match for a 6w7.

    The traits of the Six and the traits of the Seven reinforce each other. This subtype is more clearly extroverted, more interested in having a good time, more sociable, and, for better or worse, is less intensely focused on either the environment or itself than Sixes with a Five-wing. In this subtype, there is also a dynamic tension between the main type and wing. The Six focuses on commitment, responsibility, and sacrifice of personal pursuits for the sake of security, while the Seven focuses on experience, satisfaction of personal need, and keeping options open. (People of this subtype can sometimes seem like Twos.) They can be affable, supportive, and strongly identified with others. Sixes with a Seven-wing are more eager to be liked and accepted by others than the Six with a Five-wing and are also more hesitant to speak out. The Seven-wing adds sociability, playfulness, and enthusiasm, but the Six component can be uneasy with this, so Sixes with a Seven-wing frequently monitor the reactions of others to see if they are behaving acceptably.

    Healthy persons of this subtype desire to feel not only accepted and secure with others, but also happy, particularly with regard to material well-being. They have broad areas of interest and often have one or more hobbies or pastimes. People in this subtype are friendly and sociable, taking neither themselves nor life that seriously, or at least not solemnly. Many Sixes with a Seven-wing are attracted to the performing arts (acting, popular music) or other professions that allow them to combine their energetic, interpersonal qualities with discipline and craft (advertising, marketing, managing, law). They tend to be self-deprecating, and if possible, turn their fears into occasions for reassurance, further bonding with others, or even humor. Healthy Sixes with a Seven-wing are usually extremely playful and funny, since a sense of humor is one of their most salient means of coping with life and its tensions. They are generally more extroverted than the other subtype.

    Average Sixes with a Seven-wing are also hardworking and loyal, but begin to have problems with procrastination and initiating projects. They tend to depend more on others for reassurance and will usually seek advice from a number of sources before coming to an important decision. If they get conflicting advice, they tend to be more indecisive than the Sixes with Five-wings. They do not handle anxiety, tension, or pressure will and often humor is used to deflect others, and their passive-aggressiveness to get them out of unpleasant situations. Increasingly, the subtype complains, frets, and turns the Seven’s propensity for envisioning options into a tendency to conceive of everything that can go wrong in a situation. At the same time, the Seven-wing causes them to succor themselves with various distractions and compensations. Overeating, drinking, and substance abuse may enter the picture, along with nonproductive “hanging out” (the good ol’ boy, the gal who hangs out at the local bar or club). Sixes with a Seven-wing may not take the strong political stands of Sixes with a Five-wing, but they tend to become highly opinionated and quite vocal about their likes and dislikes. Because they are afraid of confronting the real sources of discontent in their lives, however, their anxieties about personal failings or important relationships are often displaced onto helpless “third parties” – the “kicking the cat” syndrome.

    Unhealthy persons of this subtype are more disposed to becoming dependent on others, and do not attempt to disguise the depth of their emotional needs. They may become struck in abusive working conditions while dependent upon other people, addictive substances, or both. Inferiority feelings combine with the desire to escape from themselves. Unhealthy Sixes with a Seven-wing have few means of dealing with anxiety, and as anxiety gets worse, they become increasingly emotionally erratic. People of this subtype are in a flight from anxiety, tending to become manic rather than paranoid. They act out their unconscious fears, flying into hysterical overreactions much more readily than the other subtype, making them highly unpredictable and reckless. They may alternate between desperately clinging to destructive relationships and lashing out at their supporters. This subtype is also subject to debilitating panic attacks, since anxiety, rather than aggression, has the upper hand. Suicide attempts, as a way of eliciting help, are likely.

    Quoted from: Riso, Don Richard., and Russ Hudson. Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-discovery. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1996. Print.



    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung

     



  13. #13
    Raver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    TIM
    Ne-IEE 6w7 sp/sx
    Posts
    4,938
    Mentioned
    219 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Shytan I am a phobic six, but I can be counter phobic at times. General relationship traits are kind of push/pull oscillating between need for intimacy and need for personal space.

    IEE 6s tend to blend intuition and anxiety, which means ideas tend to be focused on possible fears. Also, counterphobic sixes would be much more vocal than phobic sixes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shytan View Post
    Well that doesn't cancel out the fact that there ARE IEE 6s, right? This IEE I know is definitely a 6w7.
    Yes, any type can be a six, it is possible among all types. 1s, 5s and 8s are like non-existent and incompatible for IEEs, but not 6s and especially 6w7s.

    Most IEEs I have met tend to be 7w6s with varying instinctual stackings so 6w7s are less common for sure, but they do exist. Galen, a former member here is an Fi-IEE 6w5 sx/sp, which is even more rare than 6w7 for IEEs.
    “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” Randy Pausch

    Ne-IEE
    6w7 sp/sx
    6w7-9w1-4w5

  14. #14
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTP 7w8
    Posts
    2,947
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    6w7 is called "The Buddy" so I don't see why not. I have seen people post weirder and rarer combinations like EII 8 (maybe a core 2) or ILI 7 (which is probably a core 5 in disintegration). The 6 integration point is 9 and disintegration is 3.
    @Raver is a 6. Not sure of his wing. IEE SLI-Te duals are supposed to be pretty stable people so it would be a good match for a 6w7.




    raver is a 9 babehh

  15. #15
    Raver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    TIM
    Ne-IEE 6w7 sp/sx
    Posts
    4,938
    Mentioned
    219 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    raver is a 9 babehh
    I am open to being a 9w1 sx/sp. Even though I still lean towards 6w7 sp/sx. No other enneatypes and instinctual stackings make sense for my core though.
    “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” Randy Pausch

    Ne-IEE
    6w7 sp/sx
    6w7-9w1-4w5

  16. #16
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'd like help in how to dispel my counterphobic 6's trust issues. I also wanna know how to be the best lover to him.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  17. #17
    Ragdoll Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    ISTp-0 D sx/sp
    Posts
    2,724
    Mentioned
    328 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shytan View Post
    What are their general relationship traits?
    Also, what flavour would cp 6 give an IEE?
    IEEs can be 6 or any other etype. They possibly tend to be more heart types or 9, but there's no reason why they couldn't be any other type in theory. Mb the most atypical types for IEE would be 1,5 or 8.

    I think e6 IEE would be more like the Oldham description of IEE, the Vigilant style.




    Oldham Style: Vigilant

    Basic Pleasure autonomy
    Basic Fear subordination

    Oldham's Type Description

    Autonomy. Vigilant-style individuals possess a resilient independence. They keep their own counsel, they require no outside reassurance or advice, they make decisions easily, and they can take care of themselves.
    Caution. They are careful in their dealings with others, preferring to size up a person before entering into a relationship.
    Perceptiveness. They are good listeners, with an ear for subtlety, tone, and multiple levels of communication.
    Self-defense. Individuals with Vigilant style are feisty and do not hesitate to stand up for themselves, especially when they are under attack.
    Alertness to criticism. They take criticism very seriously, without becoming intimidated.
    Fidelity. They place a high premium on fidelity and loyalty. They work hard to earn it, and they never take it for granted.
    Source: Oldham, John M. and Lois B. Morris. The New Personality Self-Portrait Rev. ed. New York: Bantam, 1995.

    Likes
    autonomy
    trustworthiness
    loyalty
    fidelity
    to know the hidden motives of others
    the appearance of righteousness
    secrecy
    privacy
    a double life
    vigilance
    wariness
    suspicion
    adversaries, enemies, grudges
    guiltlessness
    shamelessness
    authority
    superiority
    self-sufficiency
    independence
    control
    perfection
    withdrawal
    self-criticism
    being special
    isolation

    Dislikes
    subordination
    deviousness
    deception
    treachery
    closeness
    being covertly manipulated
    interference of others
    being put down
    being discriminated against
    secret coalitions formed by others
    being undermined or depreciated by others
    humiliation
    being abused or being taken advantage of
    being controlled
    being demeaned
    authority/authority figures
    those he or she sees as weak, soft, sickly or defective
    inferiority
    making mistakes
    being different from others
    Disorder Perspective

    The personality disorder which is a pathological representation of the Vigilant personality type is the Paranoid Personality Disorder.

    Basic belief: People are potential adversaries. Thinking strategy Wariness


    The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pp. 637-638) describes Paranoid Personality Disorder as a pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

    suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her;
    is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates;
    is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her;
    reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events;
    persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults , injuries, or slights perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack;
    has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner.
    The disorder does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, or another Psychotic Disorder and is not due to the direct physiological effects or a general medical condition.

    Typical Beliefs

    I cannot trust other people.
    Other people have hidden motives.
    Others will try to use me or manipulate me if I don't watch out.
    I have to be on guard at all times.
    It isn't safe to confide in other people.
    If people act friendly, they may be trying to use or exploit me.
    People will take advantage of me if I give them the chance.
    For the most part, other people are unfriendly.
    Other people will deliberately try to demean me.
    Often people deliberately want to annoy me.
    I will be in serious trouble if I let other people think they can get away with mistreating me.
    If other people find out things about me, they will use them against me.
    People often say one thing and mean something else.
    A person whom I am close to could be disloyal or unfaithful.

    x

  18. #18
    squark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,889
    Mentioned
    232 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    6w7 is actually pretty common for IEEs. As is 7w6 ofc. I think any type could be a 6.

  19. #19
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE 628 sx/sp
    Posts
    78
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm a counterphobic 6, especially in regards to close relationships due to being sx/sp. If he has trust issues, the best thing to do would make sure that you end all arguments. Not vague words, not maybes, END them. Worse than simply knowing that you disagree with something is not knowing, because then we wonder about the many possibilities and end up catastrophising the outcome.

    If he's anything like me, he'd also need outward expression of love and presence. For me it helps to know what my partner is doing, how they're feeling, like a back and forth. That stops the worrying some.

  20. #20
    Muddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Interior of a T-34
    Posts
    2,503
    Mentioned
    131 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    CP6 relationship traits? Idk beating their spouses is prolly one.

  21. #21
    Number 9 large's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Baking bread
    TIM
    ESTP 7w8
    Posts
    2,947
    Mentioned
    206 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    6w7 is actually pretty common for IEEs. As is 7w6 ofc. I think any type could be a 6.
    Nope

  22. #22
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Why?

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  23. #23
    on a magic carpet ride fresh meat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    As seen on T.V.
    TIM
    E I E I OOOOO Sx/So
    Posts
    1,361
    Mentioned
    218 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    IEEs can def be 6w7s. Ne itself has a lot of nervous energy bursting everywhere - most IEEs and ILEs are 7w6s because they’re a ball of energy looking for the next idea and adventure to latch onto and the 6 wing comes from that underlying nervous energy; also the distaste for authority like Adam mentioned which I think is the closet to counterphobic an Ne base can be. Strangely the 7w6s show more “counterphobic” flavors than the 6w7 Ne bases, probably coming from them not liking to be trapped by anything. I’ve never seen a counterphobic 6 Ne base though. The poster child for IEE 6w7 is Ellen DeGeneres obviously. Counterphobic 6 is mostly for the Se/Ni types.
    And I'm what you desire, like a siren in the night



    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall
    Everyone, pls give Bled some likes. He craves the likes much like Suedehead craves the cock.
    7w6 3w4 9w8

  24. #24
    faceonfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Location
    Virginia is for lovers
    TIM
    SEE 6w7 SX/SO 648
    Posts
    9
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Speaking as an SX 6 who's had some relationship disasters, intimacy is our area of greatest vulnerability. Usually the dynamic is we trust nobody except the one (1) person we're close with, who we trust too much. We're prone to building up partners as larger than life, seeing them as protectors, nurturers, guiding hands who we need to survive. Then there is great fear over losing said partner, as we feel unable to survive alone.

    This contrasts greatly with the image SX 6s give the world. Being tough, assertive, over-confident, and often emotionally distant hides that vulnerability. The confidence can be real, but the inner core is always soft. A dynamic I've felt too much is that I can only be vulnerable with that singular person. I've feared that losing my partner would mean becoming callous, angry, and emotionally dead for good. Now I'm thoroughly single and finding that I can preserve my own innocence.

    What gets fucky is when the fear of abandonment by our trusted person is set off. That's when the 6>3 hits. We can get accusative and paranoid, which is the popular image of disintegrated 6. The other side is we can work hard to "earn" our partner's love and respect, afraid they'll leave if disappointed. I've gone to embarrassing lengths to keep someone's attention on me, not saying "no" when I felt deeply uncomfortable. SX can be highly insecure about attractiveness and sexuality. We may begin doubting our partner is actually into us and act to win them over, giving them whatever we think they want. I've found the authority problems of SX 6 play out on a smaller scale with individual people.

    All this being said, the best aspect of 6 is our dedication and perseverance. If we're committed and mature, we will move mountains for the people we love. I have a deep craving to provide for someone and over-deliver on my promises.

  25. #25
    Shytan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    TIM
    EII 4w3 Sx/sp
    Posts
    473
    Mentioned
    54 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by faceonfire View Post
    Speaking as an SX 6 who's had some relationship disasters, intimacy is our area of greatest vulnerability. Usually the dynamic is we trust nobody except the one (1) person we're close with, who we trust too much. We're prone to building up partners as larger than life, seeing them as protectors, nurturers, guiding hands who we need to survive. Then there is great fear over losing said partner, as we feel unable to survive alone.

    This contrasts greatly with the image SX 6s give the world. Being tough, assertive, over-confident, and often emotionally distant hides that vulnerability. The confidence can be real, but the inner core is always soft. A dynamic I've felt too much is that I can only be vulnerable with that singular person. I've feared that losing my partner would mean becoming callous, angry, and emotionally dead for good. Now I'm thoroughly single and finding that I can preserve my own innocence.

    What gets fucky is when the fear of abandonment by our trusted person is set off. That's when the 6>3 hits. We can get accusative and paranoid, which is the popular image of disintegrated 6. The other side is we can work hard to "earn" our partner's love and respect, afraid they'll leave if disappointed. I've gone to embarrassing lengths to keep someone's attention on me, not saying "no" when I felt deeply uncomfortable. SX can be highly insecure about attractiveness and sexuality. We may begin doubting our partner is actually into us and act to win them over, giving them whatever we think they want. I've found the authority problems of SX 6 play out on a smaller scale with individual people.

    All this being said, the best aspect of 6 is our dedication and perseverance. If we're committed and mature, we will move mountains for the people we love. I have a deep craving to provide for someone and over-deliver on my promises.
    This is super helpful. Thank you for being so open ❤

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

  26. #26
    Adam Strange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Midwest, USA
    TIM
    ENTJ-1Te 8w7 sx/so
    Posts
    5,808
    Mentioned
    691 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by faceonfire View Post
    Speaking as an SX 6 who's had some relationship disasters, intimacy is our area of greatest vulnerability. Usually the dynamic is we trust nobody except the one (1) person we're close with, who we trust too much. We're prone to building up partners as larger than life, seeing them as protectors, nurturers, guiding hands who we need to survive. Then there is great fear over losing said partner, as we feel unable to survive alone.

    This contrasts greatly with the image SX 6s give the world. Being tough, assertive, over-confident, and often emotionally distant hides that vulnerability. The confidence can be real, but the inner core is always soft. A dynamic I've felt too much is that I can only be vulnerable with that singular person. I've feared that losing my partner would mean becoming callous, angry, and emotionally dead for good. Now I'm thoroughly single and finding that I can preserve my own innocence.

    What gets fucky is when the fear of abandonment by our trusted person is set off. That's when the 6>3 hits. We can get accusative and paranoid, which is the popular image of disintegrated 6. The other side is we can work hard to "earn" our partner's love and respect, afraid they'll leave if disappointed. I've gone to embarrassing lengths to keep someone's attention on me, not saying "no" when I felt deeply uncomfortable. SX can be highly insecure about attractiveness and sexuality. We may begin doubting our partner is actually into us and act to win them over, giving them whatever we think they want. I've found the authority problems of SX 6 play out on a smaller scale with individual people.

    All this being said, the best aspect of 6 is our dedication and perseverance. If we're committed and mature, we will move mountains for the people we love. I have a deep craving to provide for someone and over-deliver on my promises.
    @faceonfire, this is an amazingly accurate, in-depth description of an ESI-Se 6w7 female artist whom I know.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •