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Thread: Do you want to have a family or a traditional life?

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    Default Do you want to have a family or a traditional life?

    I wonder how betas feel about these things. Do you guys want to have a stable, sort of traditional life with kids and stable work or are you put off by such things? How does it make you feel? How do you feel about people who want such things in life?
    No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.


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    ТРВЕ КВЛТ DarkAngelFireWolf69's Avatar
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    I would love to, although I may not be so lucky. Time will show.

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    I want a friend to share my life with, and some kids to give all I have to them, yes.

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    Yeah, my ex, who lived with her mom and granny said that I'm ultra conservative. Not really sure though if that is true, but I'm positive about real family values. Big tits, two-three kids, big house, two cars.

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    Put off.

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    You can have a family that is not traditional.

    You can want tp have family and not care to be traditional.

    You can be traditional and not have a family.

    I'm not sure how to answer your question. I want to have kids - if that's what you're asking.

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    I want to have happy marriage with true love and happy kids.
    Without love is doubtful to be happy. When you love you want to share one life, so to be together in a marriage.

    It's universal for all types.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    I have some desire for such a thing, but not enough to override my other preferences. Also, I'm not beta

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    With respect to a male IEI, 32, married to a female IEI, 35, he would certainly love to have a traditional family but has difficulty looking after his own affairs because he continuously overbooks his schedule and spends too much time and money cultivating his image. She is a gym-rat who competes so has little spare time after her day job and resents that she has to pick-up after him and bale him out of debt. In her early 20s when she was living with a (loser) SLE, she talked about having children but to hear her talk now, it's most certainly out of the question and she rules the roost. They seem to have struggles looking after two dogs - and both with parents who divorced, there's little incentive.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Lol my iei bf is like, "no kids." and has me shake hands on it.

    I don't want anymore anyway so its fine with me, but I'm not beta. The idea of a traditional life has its charms, but not in a way that stands out and above, and I'm 35 anyway.

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    I like having a traditional life. I didn’t plan on it, it just kind of happened. I’m by no means your average soccer mom, though. I’m kind of weird. My husband is very normal. I feel like an imposter lol I have 4 kids, but I wanted 5. Everyone in my family is dying. I only have five first cousins. I feel the need to expand my family. I think I’m terrified of the thought of being alone.

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    One can have a family and simultaneously buck many of the traditions and trends associated with family life.

    To an extent. They'll still be confined or limited by certain expectations and parameters.

    When kids enter the picture, you become a role model whether you want it or not.


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    Tbh, I don't really want these things. I don't want to be like some traditional faux-heterosexual with a wife, dog and two kids. i think its a little dumb when gay people try to do that anyway. I've always felt weird/different, an outcast and outsider - and I feel like I blend in better in non-family type environments. I've always wanted to move out of the suburbs and live a big city anyway. I don't like having to be morally appropriate, which I of course understand is necessary when there are kids around- so I don't really want to have kids. Kids get along with me, but I'm more like their cool uncle than I am their moralistic daddy.

    how do I feel about ppl that want those things? I don't hate on them if they don't hate on me. I don't think you should judge ppl necessarily, if they are a basic bitch or a weirdo fag type. there is kind of a little bit of a weirdo faggot in basic bitches, and a little bit of a basic bitch in weirdo faggots anyway. Maybe its a tiny bit, so small you hardly see it- but its there, like a more wacky version of the yin-yang symbol. I feel like the suburbs are a type of prison in a way for a lot of people, but if it makes you happy go for it.

    but i mean, to clarify- just cuz i dont want breeder suburban life doesn't mean i want to go to some underground gay sex party and get AIDS either. I just .. dunno. I want something that feels a bit dead less inside than the illusion we are fed.

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    Kids rule adults suck. I want at least 3 kids

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    Tbh, I don't really want these things. I don't want to be like some traditional faux-heterosexual with a wife, dog and two kids. i think its a little dumb when gay people try to do that anyway. I've always felt weird/different, an outcast and outsider - and I feel like I blend in better in non-family type environments. I've always wanted to move out of the suburbs and live a big city anyway. I don't like having to be morally appropriate, which I of course understand is necessary when there are kids around- so I don't really want to have kids. Kids get along with me, but I'm more like their cool uncle than I am their moralistic daddy.
    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post

    how do I feel about ppl that want those things? I don't hate on them if they don't hate on me. I don't think you should judge ppl necessarily, if they are a basic bitch or a weirdo fag type. there is kind of a little bit of a weirdo faggot in basic bitches, and a little bit of a basic bitch in weirdo faggots anyway. Maybe its a tiny bit, so small you hardly see it- but its there, like a more wacky version of the yin-yang symbol. I feel like the suburbs are a type of prison in a way for a lot of people, but if it makes you happy go for it.

    but i mean, to clarify- just cuz i dont want breeder suburban life doesn't mean i want to go to some underground gay sex party and get AIDS either. I just .. dunno. I want something that feels a bit dead less inside than the illusion we are fed.
    tradition and morality be damned. Just start your own traditions.

    There's no rule you have to live in the suburbs and fit some dad archetype. I mean, if you want that, which it doesn't sound like you do anyway, then I'm sure you could find a lesbian to act as your beard, but that sounds like a miserable life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    I want to have happy marriage with true love and happy kids.
    Without love is doubtful to be happy. When you love you want to share one life, so to be together in a marriage.

    It's universal for all types.
    Are you trying to say that everyone wants to get married? 'Cause that's relly untrue.
    No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.


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    There's no rule you have to live in the suburbs and fit some dad archetype.
    I know. But the suburbs are safe. Safety is kind of a big illusion though. so its like this creepy dream of false safety in a sense. where ironically id feel safer if i was in the middle of a chaotic fight. as it does make you uptight and neurotic kind of. there was this funny bit in a tv show where one char was like "are we in Hell?" then the other person goes "No, just the suburbs" and the other person goes "What's the difference" lol. idk im saying it wrong. But it was something like that.

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    I am Delta, but I think it depends on my financial situation for the most part. I would like to get married and have a family at some point in the near future. If I become poor, I would only have one child due to the financial burden, if I become middle class I could handle two children and if I become rich then I should be able to afford 3 children. Realistically, I will likely end up as middle class and aim for 2 children. Emotionally, children are quite demanding so how much you can handle comes down to the additional financial stress on top of that IMO.
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    traditional things like family etc are a part of life, so if one doesn't go for it, then those things will simply be left out from experience of life. For me it was like a switch of perspective. When I was younger I didn't care so much for these things, but then it hit me that If I don't care about it then I will miss out on all of that. It sounds really simple or idiotic, but it still was some kind of revelation.

    I think tradition connects you to history and the river of life. Normal, traditional stuff has an existential dimension. Everybody has some need for it. It doesn't mean that you have to give up yourself and be totally main stream. It's all about balance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    Kids rule adults suck. I want at least 3 kids
    If you're going to hate adults please have none. Psst, but I heard that kids become adults and, even worse, kids even want to become adults.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    I think tradition connects you to history and the river of life. Normal, traditional stuff has an existential dimension. Everybody has some need for it. It doesn't mean that you have to give up yourself and be totally main stream. It's all about balance.
    I also doubt these are considered mainstream:

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    "Tradition is peer pressure from people who are dead."
    Saw this on instagram a few days ago lol

    But again I don't see what's traditionnal about having or building a family. It's more about how you relate to it, how you lead it, what you teach your children and stuff like that.

    I think that traditionalists try to appropriate the idea of family in order to instrumentalize it politically. I don't like that.

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    I'm not beta and I would probably find normative family life too exhausting experience. I have no idea how people manage it. Even childless life with partner leaves me shaking my head. I just have too much things going on inside my head.
    Measuring you right now

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    traditional things like family etc are a part of life, so if one doesn't go for it, then those things will simply be left out from experience of life. For me it was like a switch of perspective. When I was younger I didn't care so much for these things, but then it hit me that If I don't care about it then I will miss out on all of that. It sounds really simple or idiotic, but it still was some kind of revelation.

    I think tradition connects you to history and the river of life. Normal, traditional stuff has an existential dimension. Everybody has some need for it. It doesn't mean that you have to give up yourself and be totally main stream. It's all about balance.
    Frankly this gives me the chills and I can't relate at all lol. That's my perspective on it.

    Doing some repeated action that someone else told me about disconnects me from life more than it connects me to it. I don't want to be connected to dead people.... *stomps zombie hand reaching for my foot back into the ground*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Space View Post
    I wonder how betas feel about these things. Do you guys want to have a stable, sort of traditional life with kids and stable work or are you put off by such things? How does it make you feel? How do you feel about people who want such things in life?
    I want to have stability in the sense of good and ample resources for survival and safety, but not stagnation. I find people who seem to be strongly conservative or liberal for vanity's sake to be pathetic, creepy and contradictory. I believe having kids should be a product of love and serious thought and planning (if possible).

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    I'm a Gamma, not a Beta, but I'd like to have a family again and a very traditional life. I'd ideally like to find a woman to settle down with and have kids. That might be a bit unrealistic, given that I'm past 50, but you never can tell. Kids give life a purpose and make it rewarding in a way than no fucking engineering projects I've ever worked on do.

    From a practical standpoint, I'm financially secure in a way that a lot of guys are not, and both my parents are alive and well and are 25 and 27 years older than I am, so I should be good for a few more years. And if I get hit by a truck, my family will still be able to live off the investments and insurance, basically for about 50 years.

    What I don't want to do is to just occasionally hang out with someone and do a series of cruises to canned destinations or trips around the country to visit her grandchildren or go golfing every day and basically wait to croak. I want to do something significant with my life, and there is nothing more significant than kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    And if I get hit by a truck, my family will still be able to live off the investments and insurance, basically for about 50 years.
    Measuring you right now

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    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    I'm not beta and I would probably find normative family life too exhausting experience. I have no idea how people manage it. Even childless life with partner leaves me shaking my head. I just have too much things going on inside my head.
    yeah basically this. interestingly, I haven't met a single alpha NT in my age range (25-35) that has children, and most of the ones I'm friends with don't want them, except for my best friend, a LII with a dominant subtype, who jokingly mentioned that he would see them as a scientific project (for some reason I don't think he's joking...)

    there's also the problem with climate change, which often makes me question if it's ethical to bring a child into this world. another problem is that I'm a creative subtype, so I'm incompatible with normalising subtypes (which make up the majority of the population, especially women). combined with my indifference towards a stable life, I don't see a reason to focus too much on having a family.

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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofconfusion View Post
    yeah basically this. interestingly, I haven't met a single alpha NT in my age range (25-35) that has children, and most of the ones I'm friends with don't want them, except for my best friend, a LII with a dominant subtype, who jokingly mentioned that he would see them as a scientific project (for some reason I don't think he's joking...)

    there's also the problem with climate change, which often makes me question if it's ethical to bring a child into this world. another problem is that I'm a creative subtype, so I'm incompatible with normalising subtypes (which make up the majority of the population, especially women). combined with my indifference towards a stable life, I don't see a reason to focus too much on having a family.
    I know ten LII's and two ILE's and there are only two children among all of them, despite being (mostly) married. Both of the kids are autistic. I know two SEI's and one has three normal kids (by an ESI) and the other has one by an SEI male and wants more. I know two ESE's and only one has one kid, who decided that s/he wants to be a boy.

    Wait, I forgot an ILE-SEI dual pair who have one girl. She's precocious and is being raised by her SEI mother.
    And another male ILE who has a son in jail for sexual assault.

    So it seems as if the LII and ILE reluctance to have a family is offset by the SEI eagerness to have lots and lots of kids. The ESE's seem to be about in the middle here.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 08-02-2019 at 05:55 PM.

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    The world will both fear and respect my descendants, as they spread out, multiply and lead the way in a world of increasing degeneration, upholding the logos against all odds. When birthrates plummet, my bloodline will grow like the tree of life, with me as the all father, watching over them from the underworld. I will teach them muay thai, formal logic, and most importantly how to enjoy life and to love one another. Fiercely independent with an uncrushable spirit, like a pantheon of gods. Bards will sing songs about them, civilizations will be built by them. They won't chase after money, fame or power, but will live a simple life, driven only by the love of life and creation, as giving is better than receiving and true power is to take responsibility

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    Quote Originally Posted by Viktor View Post
    The world will both fear and respect my descendants
    fear and respect are not good compatible, on practice
    as fear leads to hate. while to hate is easier the ones who are despised

    also the ones who inspire a fear and hate in other people should to have it between each other too. for the ones with hate to anything is harder to have love to anything. with lesser love people are weaker as are lesser effective in a cooperation and suffer from fights between each other. also while without love people are not happy and hence their life is not decent

    so people which inspire a fear have lesser descendants. the reason why such people are a minority. when a one is hated - it's a weakness
    Last edited by Sol; 08-04-2019 at 02:43 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by soundofconfusion View Post
    yeah basically this. interestingly, I haven't met a single alpha NT in my age range (25-35) that has children, and most of the ones I'm friends with don't want them, except for my best friend, a LII with a dominant subtype, who jokingly mentioned that he would see them as a scientific project (for some reason I don't think he's joking...)

    there's also the problem with climate change, which often makes me question if it's ethical to bring a child into this world. another problem is that I'm a creative subtype, so I'm incompatible with normalising subtypes (which make up the majority of the population, especially women). combined with my indifference towards a stable life, I don't see a reason to focus too much on having a family.
    I know many NTs, mostly ILEs and most of them want/have children. ILEs that I know are mostly good at flirting in a playful and kind of childlike way that seems to work with women and they also are a bit too impuslive and random to totally avoid having children (usually by an accident). So I'd argue that NTs can have children and a lot of them want children. I feel like gammas are less into having them than alphas and ILIs are among the types who don't have children by choice really often.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Space View Post
    I know many NTs, mostly ILEs and most of them want/have children. ILEs that I know are mostly good at flirting in a playful and kind of childlike way that seems to work with women and they also are a bit too impuslive and random to totally avoid having children (usually by an accident). So I'd argue that NTs can have children and a lot of them want children. I feel like gammas are less into having them than alphas and ILIs are among the types who don't have children by choice really often.
    I'll say read Filatova's ILE profile. They seem to an observer much more capable than they really are. Like capturing interest but relation forming is very hard for them. Contrary to that LII's, while looking very passive, tend to produce whole slew of children. ILI's tend to be serial monogamist who just want to be abused and LIE's just use their babies for organ production.
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    i might want one baby later in life. but when i think of having a baby right now it just doesn't feel right, i would get really bored. i don't want to have that obligation for a while at least. and yeah, one child is enough. because i don't want it to become my entire life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by india View Post
    i might want one baby later in life. but when i think of having a baby right now it just doesn't feel right, i would get really bored. i don't want to have that obligation for a while at least. and yeah, one child is enough. because i don't want it to become my entire life.
    Lol. Babies are not boring. They will occupy your time to an extent beyond your wildest dreams.

  38. #38
    maniac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Lol. Babies are not boring. They will occupy your time to an extent beyond your wildest dreams.
    yea occupy it with boredom

  39. #39
    Spencer's Avatar
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    No, I don't want kids. I think you should have them if you really want them because you love raising children, taking care of someone and have the ability to withstand the ever repeating problems. Every day is the same with children. It's draining and seldomly rewarding. I know that because I'm the oldest daughter in my own and extended family so the parents felt entitled to give their kids to me when they came over.
    I don't think I could stand having children and working fulltime to secure my retirement. When I come home I want my peace.
    The problem I've encountered so far is that my duals want children. They want a lot of them. An entire zoo. The horror.

  40. #40
    aka Feathers, Penny Dreadful Baboooshka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spencer View Post
    An entire zoo. The horror.
    Irlol.

    I think the same about children-- Having no family at all is better than having a broken one. Children are so easy to mess up yet so hard to fix afterwards.
    ??????????????!?!?!?!?!?????!?!?!?!???? E4 so/sx



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