Do you feel as if socionics has made you more capable of relating to others? Has it made it worse in any way?
More, because I know what kinds of things you can't change about a person, and how to appeal to them or at least not trigger them too badly (if you want to, that is).
I find myself relating differently to others after discovering ITR. I feel more divided now than I ever have from certain people tbh. Nothing as much as being told I have a ‘conflictor’. But Quadra’s also. It seems to me a bit excluding. I don’t really like it, I’ve always been a group drifter. Before I related to people better, or I felt like I could relate to anyone if I tried hard enough. then I learned about all these Ti relations and they feel like walls and that makes me sad and kind of resentful of ITR. So I don’t fully embrace them. I find myself relieved irl when people have no clue about Socionics tbh. I feel like when people know my type (or what they believe it to be) and they act a certain way towards me that they are suppose to regarding ITR, and if they get mad at me or someone they change the type to account for it, or if they change their type, their attitude towards me or others can change. It explains things in a cold and robotic way and people have the tendency to abuse it for their own rationalizations. It can create a kind of drama on sites such as these. But it is interesting when they play out irl and people are clueless, and I can kind of assess.
“Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”
I don't know if I'm more capable of relating to others tbh, but I'm more able to understand better the motivations and actions of those around me (and thus feel less neurotic and judgmental -knowledge about hidden processes brings me peace and open new possibilities for actions and solutions). No, its not worse in any way in my daily life (besides this forum).
Originally Posted by Manno
Socionics classification system was a catalyst that caused me to develop my own model. This gave me better understanding of people's behaviour but did nothing to help me relate or interact; knowledge of type is of little help to someone with limited social inclinations. It did enhance my natural ability to plan; I got better at putting project teams together - and I was better able to choose a mate who could actually tolerate me over the long term.......
I can tell you that the effects of ITR are not real, lol.
Originally Posted by aster
Sure, you may think that it's real, but it's all subjective. The fact is that people project things about people when they don't know much about them to "fill in the gaps". It could be Socionics, or it could be something else. It could be true or it could be wrong.
I used to think that "Oh, this person has X PoLR, therefore I must be careful of this, and try to appease to them of their valued-functions". Now, I don't give a shit, and for good reasons. People do not actually have PoLRs, I don't have a PoLR, and you can't hurt me in that way. It's true, you may think so, and subjectively change your behavior towards them.
So for instance, what "type" are you, aster? What Quadra are you in? I don't know, I don't care. I can perhaps intuitively glean that you might be a bit of a sensitive person, but that's the extent of it, and I might change my behavior towards you accordingly. Or I might know your political affiliation, or I might think "is she my friend or my enemy?", etc.
But it's funny, isn't it, since all I did was change my perception of you, but you didn't actually change "you".
How I'm going to be acting towards you or anyone else is going to depend on what I know about them. And that is all a theory in the end.
Socionics is a thing, it could have been any other thing though. Eh, time I guess.
overall, no interrelationship utility to report, no benefit, no changes.
if anything, it makes knowing someone a more shallow process, more opportunistic, and less spontaneous. not great things when we deal with people.
one problem, among many, is how we're supposed to behave a certain way because of theories and statistics. but theories and statistics don't cover all at all times. the odds are always there, and I'd rather be a part of them than conform to something that limits my experience.
Tbh, it has a more negative effect on me than anything and makes me think most ppl are just going to use it as a tool to solidify their hatred and dislike of others even further, as it gives them yet another easy excuse why they can't get over their narcissism and get along with others lol. Not that it would necessarily be any better if socionics didn't exist tho.
I can use it as a tool to get along with others personally tho, but I feel manipulative and like crap when I do so. It does work often tho, just feed somebody their dual seeking function fakely, and they will warm up to you. I don't like doing this often tho, as it does require you to be a Machiellivian rat to do so. And over time they would be in on it too probably (or quicker, depending on how bright they were), and sense something isn't right and you are not being yourself/playing a game with them.
I just use it to add shorthand to other traits. Like my coworker who is organized, timid, and seems softhearted becomes "EII" in lieu of summarizing everything else.
I still behave the same with no manipulation or attempts to please based on type and no predictions that I wouldn't have made otherwise based on observable personality. Even though those uses seem absurd to me, I'm sure they do work, depending on the cleverness and observation skills of the agent in the first place.
Sort of like asking if having a gym membership is helping you to lose weight
happily dating non-dual, it’s like bringing frying pan and eggs and making breakfast in the gym lobby and still losing weight much to the horror of myself and others
a two horned unicorn renegade
Due to Fi PoLR do not send PM's, please. 50/50 likelihood to get a reply if I'm going to even read your messages. Let's keep things public.
Originally Posted by Groucho Marx