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Thread: children rearing

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    ooo's Avatar
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    Default children rearing

    If you have or had any children, are there any things you consider important that you would want to pass onto them? I'm talking about values, education, skills.. whatever you can think.

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    TRVE KVLT atlascog's Avatar
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    curiosity, openness, willingness to learn, creativity, playfulness

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    The ability to think for and take care of themselves. Independence and self-sufficiency. I've always seen my job as one of equipping them with the tools they'll need to take care of themselves, and to forge their own paths. I do not believe in molding one's children in one's own image. My oldest and I always had quite opposite views on a lot of things, he's 21 now living on his own, and he calls me regularly, and often tells me how much he appreciates me, which always makes me happy.

    I'm very proud of all of my kids and tell them that they'd be some of my favorite people ever even if they weren't my kids. They're very cool people with interesting ideas who are great to talk to and spend time with. And none of them are full of themselves either, they're kind, generous and mostly humble. I don't even know how they turned out so well. Not that they're perfect or anything, or don't have more to learn, but I think they're pretty great.

    Making one's own decisions and taking responsibility for them is imo what makes someone an adult and that can happen at any age, and that's what I want for my kids. They're all developing those qualities, or have already developed them. A lot of people never do, and stay in a dependent, blame-shifting state of mind their entire lives. And I've seen parents do everything they can to keep their children dependent - I've never understood that. From the time they were little I've been letting them do things on their own
    lol it's seriously funny watching a 4 year old climb inside the washing machine in order to reach their clothes to get them out after doing a load of laundry, or how kids will turn a coffee maker into a hot chocolate maker. lots of messes and interesting stuff going on. Someone commented derisively once to me that I was more like a coach than a parent, only there to catch them if they fell, but it's worked out maybe in spite of me (can't believe my youngest will be 16 this summer) and I got to enjoy them and their ideas as they are, rather than trying to turn them into me. I can honestly say that the world is richer for their presence in it.

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    to see happy parrents is important for children. as they copy parrents
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    my dream household would be one where my kids were open to all kinds of people, experiences, cultures... culture is especially important, i'd like to get sure they study the classic as to me that surpasses any technical knowledge. languages, possibly more than 2 languages should be spoken at home. playing an instrument. animals. more than all i'd want my kids to know kindness and respect.

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    ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ Birdie's Avatar
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    Yes.
    Everything interests me but nothing holds me.

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    Intelligence, mostly. Independence, and possessing well-developed personalities. Precociousness. A relaxed, casual attitude. Friendliness I suppose. Bibliophilia. A disdain for people who say they don't like to read. Lack of aggressiveness. Good ethical sense.
    He has told you, o man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your god?

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    I try to teach my kids to be kind to others, not be snobs, be polite, open doors for people... that kind of thing. If they say a rude remark to someone I’ll pull them aside and chew them out. Be honest, but not too honest lol. Don’t brag. Don’t steal. Mind your own business. Know boundaries. I take them to the library every week and have them check out books. I read to them from an early age and now they all love to read and are constantly reading something. I would like to keep them curious and make sure they are constantly learning. Expose them to a bunch of different ideas. I let them check out whatever they want. We also get a ton of movies, new and old. My 10 year old is now obsessed with gone with the wind. If they want to try something I’ll usually support them. Tbh I’m not so great at teaching independence. I do a lot of stuff for them that I prob shouldn’t. I just keep thinking of them as babies. My husband is much better at teaching them independence. I’m kinda like my mom, scared they are going to get hurt or abducted so I can be a little overbearing. But not as much as she is. I feel like I’ve also failed them at the Social thing and getting them involved in school activities since I have social anxiety. But all three of my oldest have turned out pretty different. Nurture only goes so far lol
    Last edited by aster; 07-10-2019 at 04:49 PM.
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    What this thread makes me visualize:


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    I'd want them to actually understand how the world works. From law and order to economics down to micro and macro and how businesses operate in a capitalist system to philosophy to understanding differences between people and to experience it all as best they can. I'd want them to look deeper than the surface on most things and not just pursue money and material wealth. And most of all I'd want to be there to help them when they fail, instead of expecting them to be normal or live up to society's standards or pressuring them with vague notions of what their lives should be... Because those things are incredibly unhealthy and unfulfilling and something that's personally hindered my grow into adulthood. I think way too many people only worry about making money and living by society's rules and that hurts people more than anything else.
    Androgynous Robot Dreamer - Not really human, but good at pretending.

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    blame the merry quadras

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    <3

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    I don’t have kids but one thing I try to show my close friend’s little guys is to be brave and curious about everything. Just showing them stuff outside, like showing them how to sled down a snowy hill side, something they had never seen before. Showing them its fun even though its scary. Brushing my teeth while the 2 year old watches and later in the week catching him in the sink trying to brush his teeth. Basically letting them hold tools and carry stuff and participate in the world, moving things, helping me out and being patient and thinking about what is going on around them. This Christmas Day I took her boys in the wood truck and got fire wood with them. J———- is 3.5 and C—— is 2 and they just stayed in the truck playing with their new toys and C—— was a lil upset and scared beingg away from home (Mom) and I can remember my own feelings and thoughts-impressions at that age so I tried to show him that everything in the world is okay and that its okay to be scared but also just as easy to not be scared by making what is going on as clear and simple and stress free as possible by being this way myself. Follow my lead basically. And that everything is only temporary but that they are loved and I am here for them. Monkey see, monkey do.

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